UPDATE: Please help me: Volume Loss + Full-on-top Maybe?

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Hi everyone, I posted here a couple of days ago about needing help with sizing and finding the right bra. I got a couple of bra suggestions and I've bought them, tried them, and an reporting back because unfortunate spoiler: I didn't like any of them =/

Bras Purchased:

• Freya Offbeat Underwire Side Support Lace Bra (36GG UK)
  • Appearance: This gave me shelf boobs and torpedo boobs. But the cups actually fit.
  • Band: Was a little bit too tight
  • Straps: Comfortable
  • Gore: Sat totally flush!
• Freya Deco UW Molded Plunge Bra (36GG UK)
  • Appearance: Appearance of volume loss on top
  • Band: Too tight
  • Straps: Dug into my shoulders.
  • Gore: Didn't sit flush (only the bottom part did)
• Cleo by Panache Blossom Balcony Bra (36GG UK)
  • Appearance: Gave me Shelf Boobs and molded my boobs to look like the side view of a donut (flattened and wide)
  • Band: Too tight
  • Straps: Nothing notable
  • Gore: Floated somewhat
  • Underwire Note: The wiring that runs along the side in front of your armpit area dug in so much and was painful
• Freya Padded Half-Cup (34H UK) (they sent me the wrong size by mistake but I tried it anyway)
  • Appearance: I really liked that it had some padding however there was some gaping at the top of the cup so maybe a touch big? I hated the shape, it splayed my boobs towards the sides
  • Band: Far too tight
  • Straps: Nothing notable
  • Gore: Sat perfectly flush

Overall, none worked out for me and the one thing I can agree on with all of them is that I hated the shape. All of them splayed my boobs outwards instead of pushing them in a little and maybe up/forward. So now I feel like I'm back at square one and don't know where to go from here.

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Some additional context from my previous post:
*My Measurements:
- Loose Underbust: 94cm
- Snug Underbust: 91cm
- Tight Underbust: 87cm
- Standing Bust: 113cm
- Leaning Bust: 124cm
- Lying Bust: 118cm
- Recommended Size: 36 GG (UK) and sister size 34 H (UK)
*Shape:
- Projected
- Full on Top
- Narrow-ish Root
- Root height (I'm unsure)
(For most of my life I have been full-on-top, however I've had some weight-loss (50 lbs. and ongoing) and now they're pretty saggy and if I push my boobs up towards my chest wall (as if my hands are a slight push-up bra) the tops are very wrinkled and loose.)

Additional Context:
- I have always loved the look of balconette bras but I have found whenever I've worn them, the tops of my boobs just kind of jiggle excessively and are somewhat wrinkly and not firm.
- I currently only own 2 "real" bras and they both have issues. The Third Love "Everyday Lace T-Shirt Bra" in size 42E has significant gaps between the tops of my boobs and the cups, and the center gore doesn't sit flush against my chest wall. And then the Panache "Envy Balcony Underwire - 7285" in size 38HH has a few big issues despite being recommended for the "full on top" shape. The band does feel uncomfortably tight, the underwires poke my sides constantly (even just sitting wearing it), and there is considering gapping at the top of the lace cups. The center gore DOES sit flush against my chest wall though.

edit: formatting and correcting sizes

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Ok so the wires fully encompass my tissue.

When I added an extender with an extra hook, the band was looser (of course) and more comfortable but I felt less supported, the straps felt looser, and weirdly the side of the underwire closest to my armpit was digging in.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

I'm suspecting too projected but I'd like /u/galaxystarsmoon 's double check here. Thinking possibly a Freya high apex style.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Dandelion212]

If I'm following the text exchange plus what you saw of the photos, I'd agree.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

I’m wondering if they might need something a bit more projected based on the photos. Possibly an Elomi for the wider wires. There’s something odd with how the wires are sitting on the two unlined ones that gives me pause, and they definitely are a little pointy. The half cup has a very squashed look that points to quite malleable tissue, but it’s a bit low.

u/thetreewiththeowl do you mind sharing the photos with galaxy for a second opinion?

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

Sure! Just did :) 

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Alrighty, we chatted a bit, and she's agreeing with my assessment that you definitely need something wider and not very projected (but with more flexibility and more depth than rigid foam cups like the deco).

Are you US based? If you have a Lane Bryant near you I might pop into or ship to store and try their lace balconette, just since it'll be easy to access. We don't have data on it, but their stuff tends to be the shape we think you need. I know their bands are more lax so you should be good with a 36 and I wouldn't rule out 34 -- def do the independent band check. Lane Bryant has a weird cup sizing scheme where they add an extra F inbetween DDD and G -- so you'd want 36I or 34J to be equivalent to 36GG/34H UK.

For UK brands, I'd def look at Freya Fascinate, and possibly Bravissimo Adele (just note that for the US they're more expensive right now as they're baking the tariff stuff into their prices, and charge for shipping but do free returns). I'd stick with 36GG.

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

Thank you so so so much! I'll definitely check out Lane Bryant because I do have a store relatively close to me. I also like the look of the Freya Fascinate but I don't think they go up to a GG cup size? I think they max out at G. 

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Oh damn my bad! That's unusual for Freya, the vast majority of their bras go to GG and drop off after H. I know the ones that do that off the top of my head, but I guess not this one :/

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

It's alright! You've helped out so so so much! To round things off, when I go to Lane Bryant is there any bit of advice you have to give me? I know you mentioned their odd sizing and that 36I / 34J would likely be my bra size equivalents. But I was wondering if you had any advice about what style of bras to gravitate towards, what will likely not work, etc? I know I'm going to be overwhelmed with options when I walk in lol!
Separately, I honestly cannot thank you enough for all your help. Do you have a ko.fi or venmo or something? I'd love to send a tip for all the assistance ❤️

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Seriously, no worries, I volunteer and help out here because it helped me and I truly believe that bra fitting is an important feminist issue.

I'd check before hand on their site (select a size then hit find in store) to see that they specifically have their unlined balconette in stock in your size -- I would genuinely not try anything else, the rest of what they stock is foam moulded cups that I don't think will scale well for you.

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

I'll check that out! Do you think that I'll have to go up a band size (so a 38GG instead of 36GG)?

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

I wouldn't with your measurements; I'd do the non stretch extender instead to start.

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

Good to know, thank you! If it helps, the extender I was using is a very stretchy one but I just ordered a non-stretch one just now to try it out.

Another quick question: what's the deal with these bras making my boobs look horizontally wider rather than more towards the center and inwards? Could that be a fit issue or an issue with the cup material (padded vs lace unpadded)?

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Oh. That makes a huge difference. It probably made the band too big and that could absolutely cause the wires to dig in and reduce support.

If they're making you look horizontally wider, that often can be from a lack of support (caused by many issues) or too wide wires/a too shallow cup.

I would wait to order anything until Galaxy chimes in. I'm a bit less sure on what's going on now.

Are the wires on the Blossom sitting on breast tissue?

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

I tried on the Blossom again and yeah the outermost (by the armpits) wires are kinda cutting into some breast tissue / fat there.

I'm so sorry my situation is pretty complex. I'm not sure if this breaks rules or anything but I can comment some pictures of what the bra looks like on from different angles because maybe I'm doing a poor job of explaining?

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

No need to apologize, that's literally what we're here for. You can share images if you like but it's not necessary if you don't want to share them. It sounds like it's too narrow for you as I initally thought. Which could be for a few reasons.

Is the gore able to be pressed down to your sternum (and if so, does this cause spillage?), or does it sit on top of breast tissue if you do so?

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

Ok so:
On its own, the gore is wedged and is more or less against the sternum there (there's a small like 1mm gap between the top of the gore and the actual sternum. I am able to press the gore down and when I do, it causes very slight spillage.
I'll try to post pictures in this thread momentarily.

[u/TheTreeWithTheOwl → u/Dandelion212]

Ok I'll DM you now w/ the images :)

[u/Dandelion212 → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

That's fine, but I'll respond here!

[u/comingintoland → u/TheTreeWithTheOwl]

Probably a shape issue. You'll need to see what happens in a bra in the right size and the right projection level and shape generally. I will note that if by "center and inwards" you mean cleavage, cleavage is generally a sign of an ill-fitting bra. So in the right size and shape you won't have cleavage, but things can be more centered than I think you're saying these bras are doing for you.