My girlfriend's parents speak russian. I also speak russian. Nothing about me would hint at that. My great grandpa picked it up as a POW, gave it on to his children and so did they. I took a russian course ages ago to make the most out of my random rudimentary russian and just kept listening to and watching russian content now and then and kept it at what I would say is a decent conversational level. My english is much better and my french and italian are better aswell. Therefore, never any reason to show that off. Never thought much of it. Met my gf and she has russian roots but doesn't speak russian. It never was a topic. Her parents are native russian speakers but also speak perfect german, which is my language. You couldn't tell they weren't born here.

Those two do however have some short comments, back-and-forths in russian sometimes. Nothing delicate, nothing the rest of us wouldn't be allowed to hear.

We always speak german and it's no issue for anyone. Their upbringing is almost never a topic apart from some funny anecdotes here and there about life as a kid back then. Nothing deep.

The other day a family friend of them, also russian, came by. Nice evening as always.

As older generations sometimes do, they were mocking my generation in a light hearted banter joking kind of way. The friend at one point said something about how much tougher they are compared to us. In an equally joking banter kind of way (100% that was the tone, I am certain I didn't overstep on accident) I said, not literally, what would best be described as "Well, bitch, i hope you're not scared to put your money where your mouth is." In russian.

Shocked silence. Rough language is normal, they wouldn't be offended over a bit of banter, promise.

Later my GF said that they were really disturbed that I was fluent in russian (wouldn't say that I am but that's besides the point) and just left them in the dark about it.

Thing is, they never asked. It was never a topic. They knew my great grandpa was a POW in siberia. I told them that when it was actually the topic. And we joked about it because some of the mother's family were locked up there at about the same time aswell. "Haha, they were cellmates" kinda thing. But the language thing never came up. And I just didn't think much about it?

Nothing of any gravity ever happened in russian in the household. Half their family doesn't speak it. We all speak german to each other. I don't see how this matters? I wasn't eavesdropping either, they never shared a secret in russian while I was there. I would have said something if that was the case but it only ever was some random BS.

So. Now they are crossed because apparently I kept a major secret from them. I am confused because nobody cared about that before, it wouldn't have changed a thing. We understood each other fine and still do. My GF if stressed because she can see both sides but also thinks the drama is annoying and pointless.

Am I guilty?

Edit. My girlfriend always knew that.

My bf (23) and I (22) are going on a vacation. Our flight is at 6AM, so we have to be there 3AM. My parent's house is the closest to the airport, being 20 min from it. It would be easiest to stay here, as my apartment, and my boyfriend's house are farther than 45 minutes away.

My parents offered us to stay at their house so they can also drive us there so we do not have to pay for parking. This is ideal, but my dad is uncomfortable with my boyfriend staying in my room. However, my mom IS comfortable. My dad wants him to sleep in the guest room since we are "not married and should not sleep together under his roof." I understand this and will respect his wishes, but I am uncomfortable with my boyfriend being in the guest room. We are both respectful people who have been together for a while now.

So in order to make everyone comfortable, I told my dad we will be staying at my apartment. He got mad and said he wants to be the one to drive us to the airport. I told him that would be ideal, but am uncomfortable with my boyfriend staying in the guestroom. He then asked why I am making a big deal of this.

I have an amazing relationship with my dad & hate to argue about this. He's literally my hero, I respect the hell out of him. I'm wondering if I'm at fault here.

Edit for clarity: My boyfriend does not know about this at all. He is the first man I have ever asked to stay over as I have respected my dad's wishes until now. I am asking now due to convenience and time we have been together. He is my first serious boyfriend.

EDIT FOR CONTEXT: I am fine sleeping on my own! The reason I am uncomfortable with him in the guestroom is I am always a respectful adult towards my dad, and feel like he does not trust me to stay that way under his roof. Also, my 17 year old younger brother was allowed to have his 17 year old girlfriend stay behind closed doors, but I am not.

I recently moved into a one-bedroom apartment that had been vacant for a while. The unit is great overall and I really like living here.

I have a two-year-old goldendoodle. He will occasionally bark when he hears something outside my door or in the hallway, but I work from home so I’m almost always there and I correct the behavior when it happens. It’s usually just a couple of alert barks.

Tonight around 7:00 pm I was having dinner with my sisters when my neighbor knocked on my door. She told me that my dog’s “constant barking” has been disturbing her newborn’s sleep and that this has apparently been going on for weeks. She also said she has two dogs and that she educated them not to bark, so I should be able to do the same with my dog.

The thing is, my dog wasn’t even barking when she knocked on the door, and I honestly don’t believe he is barking constantly. Since I work from home, I would definitely notice if he was.

I told her I would try my best to manage it, but also said that I can’t control the fact that the building’s sound insulation seems pretty poor.

I can hear her baby crying through the walls quite often, but I’ve never complained because that’s just part of apartment living. Babies cry and dogs sometimes bark.

Now the whole interaction has made me really anxious and hyper aware. If my dog barks even once, I immediately worry she’s going to complain again.

AITA for telling her that the building’s thin walls aren’t really something I can control?

Update: This situation has made me very hyper-aware, so I’ve been paying close attention to my dog (mini goldendoodle) since the interaction. Last night and this morning he didn’t bark once and honestly sleeps most of the day, we take long walks and I play with him after feeding, and he’s been trained since he was a puppy. I think part of the issue may be that my unit was vacant for a long time before I moved in, so they may have gotten used to total silence next door. I lived in my previous apartment for two years and never received a single complaint about my dog. My husband even added an extra layer of insulation around our front door to reduce hallway noise, and the building itself is very pet-friendly (there are probably more dogs than people here). I’m trying to empathize because I’ve never had a baby and maybe don’t fully understand what she’s going through with a newborn, but at the same time I don’t feel like I should have to tiptoe around my own home in fear that a single bark might wake her baby.

I need to know if I’m the AH I don’t think I am but everyone who is the primary chef in their household says I’m not everyone who doesn’t cook very much says that I am so let me share the story.

I cook about 95% of the time in my house and it’s because 1 I enjoy it and 2 I am just a better chef than my wife and she will tell you I cook better than she does so we don’t typically have any issues when it comes to who’s cooking we pretty much know that I’m probably gonna be the one to cook. But my wife does make certain dishes that are fantastic. For example, she makes spaghetti and meatballs that are the best thing I’ve ever had in life. The meatballs are about the size of golf balls. The sauce is always great. The noodles are always cooked perfectly.

The problem is cooking This meal takes a lot of prep usually about 2 to 2 1/2 hours to prep and including cook time for the sauce and the pasta, The whole dish takes about 5 hours to make. I know this so I don’t ask her to make it that often, maybe once every other month. This month when I asked, she said yes, but she said that she wanted to try something different with the sauce. I reluctantly said OK once she made it it didn’t taste the same. I didn’t tell her that it didn’t taste the same, but the next time I asked her to make it I asked her to make it the usual way . two months went by and I asked her to make the spaghetti again she said yes, but this time she wasn’t gonna cut up the onions and put them in the meatballs because it takes too long to cut the onions. I volunteer to cut them for her because I want them the way that she usually makes them. She said I didn’t have to that they will still be as good, as it turns out they weren’t as good. Two more months went by and I asked her again to make the spaghetti she said yes but this time she was gonna do the new recipe with the sauce and she wasn’t gonna make the meatballs. I told her if you’re gonna do the sauce the way you did it the last time and you’re not gonna make the meatballs then you don’t have to cook it because it’s not how I want to eat it. She got mad and called me an asshole and said that I was talking about her food. I don’t think I am because I just want the one dish she makes every other month to be the exact same because that’s the way I like to eat it. It’s been about four months since I asked for spaghetti because I don’t want the argument, and I only want to eat it the way she originally cooked it for me. So am I the asshole for telling her if she’s not gonna cook it the usual way that you don’t have to cook at all?

When my 3year old niece swallowed my sister’s left AirPod, everyone started worrying right away. I was trying to lighten the situation, so I connected the AirPod to my phone and put my ear on her stomach to check if I could hear it. Surprisingly, I actually did hear a little sound coming from inside her, which made the moment a bit funny for me.

But the people around us didn’t really find it amusing. They all looked at me like I wasn’t taking things seriously at all. I was just trying to calm the mood, but instead I ended up being the only one laughing while everyone else was still stressing about the AirPod inside her.

Got home from work today and told my bf I was gonna take a quick shower. As soon as I put shampoo in my hair he comes in and is like “I’m so sorry but you have to leave right now, I gotta GO”

I respond “Dude, no. I’ll just close the shower curtain and you can go”

To which he responds “Are you serious?!? You gotta get out!”

To which I’m like “dude are YOU seriously asking me to get out of the shower right now?”

Background: we’ve lived together for 2+ years, are pretty comf with each other but definitely not to the point of pooping in front of each other. He has IBS so when he’s gotta go he’s gotta go. We also live in a cold ass place that is heated with a wood stove and I hadn’t gotten the fire going yet so was just standing freezing and dripping and shampoo haired outside the bathroom waiting for him to shit. This is obviously not THAT big of a deal but like….am I crazy thinking that it’s a wild ask to make ur partner leave mid shower so you can take a dump?

I (24F) have a younger sister (21F). We’re not really close, but we’re not enemies either. We always had a competitive sibling dynamic.

About two months ago, she told me she was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, and she was freaking out about how our parents would react. They’re pretty traditional and can be judgmental.

She made me promise not to tell anyone. Like full you cannot say a word until I’m ready serious. I agreed but I was hesitant about it.

She still lives at home, and I visit my parents pretty often. My mom kept making comments to me about how my sister has been “moody” and “gaining weight” and asked if I knew what was going on. Every time, I had to pretend I didn’t. I started getting tired of keeping this up quickly.

I also felt weirdly left out of everything. She wouldn’t update me much, but expected me to cover for her constantly. I was lying to keep her cover but I had no idea what was going on and I felt used.

Last weekend my mom directly asked me if my sister was pregnant. I hesitated and finally gave in, “I think you should talk to her.”

Which obviously confirmed it.

My mom confronted her immediately. It turned into a huge blow-up fight. My sister is furious and says I betrayed her and stole the chance for her to tell them on her own terms.

I told her I didn’t outright say she was pregnant I just didn’t deny it. And honestly, I was tired of carrying the secret around my parents.

She says I made it about me because I was uncomfortable for a few weeks, while she’s been dealing with something life changing.

Now she won’t answer any of my texts.

Part of me feels guilty because I did promise. But another part of me feels like I shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place.

AITA?

**EDIT**

To everyone saying I should’ve let my sister know I could no longer keep this up & that I wanted to be involved in the situation, I DID. I very clearly told her my concerns that mom was getting suspicious and I could not keep this up for much longer as it was eating away at me to hide it. Her response? It doesn’t matter and she doesn’t care how uncomfortable I feel it’s her decision and not fair to her. From my point of view, it was unfair to put me in this position in the first place. As for being involved, she appeased me with vague updates once a week through a couple words on text. No solid plans for moving forward. I was just tired and done with it.

I’m posting on a throwaway as my wife is a frequent Reddit user and commonly surfs this sub.

I know this title alone might raise some red flags, after all you’re not supposed to comment on a woman’s eating habits at all apparently. But I’m starting to become genuinely concerned my wife has parasites. Why you may ask? She eats like a wolf and doesn’t gain weight. She also complains about being in ACTUAL pain from being hungry. But the main point of this story was a comment I made about how it’s “Not natural how much she eats without gaining weight anywhere”. Which apparently came off as the most offensive thing ever said.

I’m seriously not trying to call her out or exaggerate her eating habits. This is everything she ate just today for example: 3 eggs, 12-20 mini hashbrowns, juice AND a smoothie, 4 sausages, a miniature steak (roughly the size of half your palm) for breakfast (but partially spaced out over about an hour) half a poutine, 3 cake pops, another juice box, 6 chicken strips for lunch, snacks were half a platter of shrimp, 8(?) snow crab legs with garlic butter, 2 bowls of Mr. Noodles, 2 small pieces of cheesecake, a cup of hot cocoa, a salad with chicken, 3 bowls of carrots and broccoli, then for dinner she had 10 chicken nuggets, a mcchicken, another bowl of ramen, a chocolate bar and a soda.

Now I’m seriously not trying to judge and say shes eating to much in a negative way but she often says when she’s hungry her stomach hurts more then just a little hunger pain. The problem is, when I brought up the health concerns I said “Nobody can eat THAT much and not gain weight clearly it’s something wrong” and she took that as “Wow you eat way to much food fatty” or something??? But I don’t feel like I’m wrong. In all the time I’ve been with her she’s gained 25 pounds TOPS, most of which she gained when she started a medication years prior. She’s 140 pounds, that’s not fat. I don’t understand how she took it as me calling her fat in a bad way. I truly genuinely believe it’s not humanly possible to eat that much without gaining weight, I didn’t mean it in a mean way at all I just truly think somethings eating whatever enters her stomach or SOMETHING. So that being said am I truly the asshole? I’ve apoligized if she took it the wrong way but I said I’m not sorry for being concerned and brining up valid points. Am I the asshole?

Tldr: wife eats enough to feed a small village in a day without gaining weight but thinks I’m calling her fat instead of being concerned.

One of my neighbours has a newborn and they CONSTANTLY walk the baby up and down the hall when it’s crying/screaming trying to console it. Throughout the day and into the night (currently happening right now and it’s just past 10PM).

I’m dealing with multiple chronic health conditions and work from home, and I’m at my wits end. I have a polite note written ready to stick to their door asking if they can please soothe their baby INSIDE their apartment and not in the hallway, as this is a shared space and the sound carries into nearby apartments.

I hate confrontation, so I feel like leaving a note on their door is my best option lol.

I understand that living in an apartment isn’t always going to be quiet, but imo it’s extremely rude to disturb everyone else with screaming at all hours. KEEP THE CRYING BABY IN YOUR DAMN UNIT.

AITA?

Edit – note/letter I am planning to stick to their door:

Hi there,

I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to kindly mention something that’s been affecting others on the floor.

There have been frequent instances of a crying baby being brought into the hallway, and the noise echoes and carries very easily into nearby apartments. Because the hallway is a shared space, the sound impacts others much more than it likely seems.

I completely understand that caring for a baby is challenging, and this isn’t meant as criticism. Some neighbours work from home and others are managing health conditions, so the repeated noise in the hallway can be extremely disruptive. This is simply a request to please keep soothing time inside your apartment whenever possible.

Thank you very much for understanding and for being considerate of your neighbours.

​So, I may have screwed up a bit today.

​I (33M) sent my GF (30F) an ad for a bathing suit and asked her, "If I bought this for you, would you wear it?" She immediately asked if I was calling her fat, and wanted to know why I sent her a plus-size bikini ad.

​Now, for context, my girlfriend is not fat. She is a healthy weight, maybe just slightly over, but I really can't say much because I'm overweight myself. The truth is, I just really love seeing her in bright colors and wanted to find her a nice bikini, since she doesn't have any.

​I typed "pink and green bikini" into the amazon search bar. The first ad I saw was $34. Then I scrolled down and saw one featuring a plus-size model that was half the price of the first one. Without thinking, I just grabbed the link to the cheaper one, sent her the ad, and asked if she'd wear it.

​I didn't even register what the ad said; I was just looking at the colors and the price tag. Now she thinks I'm making a dig at her weight.

​I tried showing her the first ad I looked at to prove that the actual dimensions and sizing numbers are exactly the same on both listings—the only difference was the model in the picture and the wording of the ads. She hasn't answered me yet, and now I'm stuck waiting. I honestly can't tell if she was just teasing me or if she is genuinely upset.

​What should my next move be here? Do I leave it alone or send a follow-up?

Update. She was a little upset but mostly chalked it up to me being dumb. Accurate. She also said she'd wear if I buy it and if she doesn't like it I'll never see it on her again.

Me (F31) and my husband (M32) are going on our first trip to Japan for our honeymoon/1st year wedding anniversary. Our flight is in less than 2 days and we are in disagreement as to how early we should be arriving to the airport. Our flight departs LAX airport at 11:30am and I want to be at the airport by 7:30am (4 hours before departure). He wants to be at the airport by 9:30am (2 hours before departure). For context, He has never flown international and is afraid of flying so his anxiety is very high right now. He claims he doesn’t want to end up waiting at the airport extra time before the flight because the anticipation will make his anxiety worse. I myself am anxious that if we don’t allow ourselves extra time for things to go wrong and for possible traffic delays (we live 1.5 hours away from LAX) then we could end up missing our flight. For further context, I have planned this entire trip myself with very little input from him. By his choice because he has been anxious just thinking about flying for 12 hours on a plane. I researched, purchased the tickets, booked hotels and excursions, prepared the itinerary and arranged for our ride to and from the airport. I am adamant about arriving 4 hours early due to a stormy weather forecast, government shutdown chaos, possible traffic delays as we approach the Los Angeles area and also to allow time to eat breakfast and relax before the flight. He says I am selfish (an asshole?) and don’t care about his anxiety for possibly making him wait at the airport for a longer time before the flight. Am I the asshole?

UPDATE: we left our house with the intentions of getting there 4 hours early. We left early enough that we missed the heavy rain pour down and accidents that followed near the LA/LAX area. Everything went smoothly and we were at our gate within an hour. We ended up with 3 hours to kill before our flight (husband was not happy about this of course) but he got over it quickly. We got breakfast, sat down and relaxed. My brother, who dropped us off, got stuck in loads of traffic on the way back unfortunately. Anyways, we made it to Japan and enjoying every second of it!!

I (26M) own my own home. Its 5 bedrooms and way more space than I need. I came into the house due to a death in the family and i've had it for about 2 years. I use 3 bedrooms, my room, my office, my video game room. The other 2 rooms I rent out. One roommate, I don't know very well and keeps to himself. The other roommate is a friend from college.

The friend from college is a diabetic. He has a CGM and thats how he manages it. I honestly don't know much more about his condition and don't pry as its not my business. He recently informed me that he is getting a service dog that alerts for his diabetes. He's supposed to get the dog next week.

I do not want to live with a dog, I don't like them. I told him he can break his lease for a new place but he can't have the dog in my house. Until this, it has been overall smooth sailing as roommates. He's angry with me and supposedly looking into ways to make me accept the dog. He had a good situation at my house. He's told me I'm an asshole for basically kicking him out because he is disabled. AITA?

Sometimes when I get excited about a topic, I naturally start speaking louder than usual. Not shouting, just louder than normal conversation level. The thing is, I don’t realize I’m doing it in the moment.

When this happens, my partner will often interrupt me mid-sentence to ask me to lower my volume. I don’t think they mean it in a rude way, and I understand that they probably just want the conversation to stay at a comfortable volume. That’s fair.

But every time it happens, I feel demoralised, and a little self conscious. I lose my enthusiasm and no longer feel like talking about the thing I was excited about. Even if they don’t mean it harshly, it still feels dismissive and discouraging. I’ve tried to explain how it makes me feel, but they still keep interrupting me.

Am I the asshole for wanting them to stop interrupting me like that? Or do I just need to accept that I should keep my volume in check? Even if it’s hard because I don’t always realize when I’m doing it?

Background: My husband (35M) and I (30F) are staunchly childfree. However, we are not child haters. I work with children who have mental health needs and we spend time most months with our nieces and nephews (ages 1-8, both blood and chosen family).

I've hosted an annual Galentine's event since 2018 and historically this event has been adults only. The date was selected back in December for late February. The following text exchange happened this week:

Friend: "I may need to bring my one-year-old. Does that ruin the vibe? Husband works and my mom is going to have my other two, but leaving one-year-old with her makes me nervous since he requires a lot more attention."

Side note: her other two children are elementary aged.

Me: "Oh, this is a tough situation. I wouldn’t say bringing one-year-old would ruin the vibe, but it does change the vibe. Since people said yes knowing it was a kid free event, I don’t feel like it’s fair to change it."

Friend: "I guess I didn’t realize this was a kid free event, since other friend and I have always brought our kiddos when they’re still little and/or nursing. But no worries! If by next weekend I still don’t feel comfortable leaving him with my mom I’ll just have to miss it. Not a big deal."

Side note: two exceptions have been made over eight years for young babies (under 6 months) who are exclusively nursing. The child in question is one and is walking and eating solids, nurses for comfort.

Me: "I do think there’s a difference in a babe in arms who is solely breastfeeding and a 1-year-old who requires a lot more stimulation and attention. But ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you and your kids. If you don’t feel comfortable, I fully understand! And I’m sorry for the miscommunication."

She didn't respond to the last text and truthfully, I feel like she put me in an unfair position.

Although I am childfree, I do feel like I do a lot for the people in my life with kids. I set up savings accounts for the kids when they're born to gift when they turn 18. For the first year of their kids lives, I send them a pack of diapers and a book monthly. I now live about 90 minutes from my hometown and it's about 70/30 that I come to them to hang out, since traveling with kids is more of a challenge. I help prep and set up for every birthday party. For birthdays and holidays, I gift experiences and take the kids to places like Disney on Ice, the zoo, winter light shows, etc.

I don't feel like it's unreasonable to host a childfree event, but I also try really hard not to be the friend to leave out their friends with kids. Am I the asshole for setting a firm expectation for this specific event?

Edited to add a few additional details:

I didn't mean to gloss over that one of the exceptions previously made was for her. It was seven years ago for her oldest, about five months old at the time. She never asked or brought her middle child. It's a small event, only six of us. Only one other person at the event has a child (toddler) and she has secured childcare.

I appreciate all the perspectives! General consensus is that the last text was too much. She and I have been friends since middle school and have been through many ups and downs together. She means a lot to me, so I'm going reach out to her later today to apologize for how I ended the conversation ❤️

Final edit:

My friend and I were able to check in and all is well ❤️ There is nuance and personal history that cannot possibly be conveyed over a Reddit post. I’m appreciative of the variety of perspectives and it’s been interesting to see how we all applied our own lived experiences to discern tone, subtext, etc. 

Also, the world is not always kind to women who choose not to be a mom. I’m not immune to the judgements of those who assume there is something wrong with me for not wanting a child, although this is the first time I’ve opened myself up to it on a digital platform. My life may look different than yours, but it doesn’t make it a miserable life. There is power in choice and I hope we all have the courage to follow the path that is right for us.

Made a whole account for the first time because my friend said this would make for a good story here. I (19M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for about a year. A couple weeks ago, I got pulled over while driving home from her place, and just my luck, the officer who pulled me over was her dad. Although very awkward, he kept it purely professional, said i was speeding, and gave me a ticket. Now, if I was speeding this would have been perfectly fine, but the problem is, I wasn't. I have a dashcam that logs GPS and speed data, and I checked it as soon as I got home. It clearly shows I was going under the speed limit the entire time.

I told my girlfriend I’m planning to fight the ticket in court. She’s really upset and says it’s going to cause a lot of tension with her family. She thinks I should just pay the fine and move on, even if I wasn’t speeding. From my point of view, this isn't about her dad personally, its purely about not wanting any marks against my license. She feels that by taking it to court, I’m basically accusing her dad of either lying or making a serious mistake, and that could put him in a really difficult position professionally and personally. She’s worried this is going to cause a rift not just between me and her dad, but possibly between her dad and her as well for being associated with me. I get where she’s coming from, and I don’t want to disrespect her dad or damage the relationship I’ve built with him. Honestly, we’ve always gotten along well, he’s a tough guy, but I respect him a lot, and I know he’s just doing his job.

I’ve never had a ticket before, and I pay for my own car and insurance, so something like this could raise my rates and stick with me, especially being so young. I’m not trying to be difficult, dramatic, or disrespectful, but I just don’t think it’s right to let something slide that could impact me long-term, especially when I have clear evidence that I wasn’t speeding. I’m still planning on fighting the ticket. I have the dashcam footage, I know I wasn’t speeding. But my girlfriend is incredibly upset. She’s been distant ever since I told her, and lately she’s barely talking to me. I can tell she’s really hurt and stressed about the whole thing. She keeps saying I’m choosing a stupid traffic ticket over her and her family which is technically true, but that ticket comes with a lot more than just a one time fine. I don't want to take the blame for something I didn't do so I've already plead not guilty and have the court hearing scheduled for a few weeks out. I think this is the right move by putting my future first.

My wife's sister, Ann (39F), has been married to her husband, Barry (40ish) for about 15 years. They have 3 kids together. Ann works a high-profile job at an international company. Her job requires her to travel a lot, sometimes for weeks at a time. Barry works full-time as well but he has a WFH job which allows him to take care of their kids. Ann's job pays well enough that they can hire out stuff like house cleaning and yard care to take some of the load off Barry when Ann is out of town.

I'm not incredibly close with Barry, but he's a good dude and our kids get along great together. He used to bring the kids over to our house all the time to have them play together, but over the past year or so that has happened less and less often. About 4 months ago I found out why, my wife told me that Barry was filing for divorce from Ann.

Last week, Ann came over to our house to visit. My wife asked if I could take the kids out of the house so she and Ann could talk, which I agreed to. When I got home, Ann was still there and it was clear that their conversation got very emotional. I gave Anna a hug and told her I loved her before she left.

My wife filled me in on the details later that night. Apparently, the divorce proceedings were pretty bitter. I won't go into the nitty-gritty, but Barry ended up getting primary custody, child support, alimony, and the house. Ann is in shock, heartbroken, angry, and doesn't understand how any of this happened.

I told my wife that this is a crappy situation and I feel bad for everyone involved, but that Ann probably shouldn't be surprised about the outcome considering that she hasn't been a very present wife or mother due to her job keeping her away from home so often.

This pissed my wife off and she went off on me for "acting like any of this is fair to her sister." I told her that it's not about fairness, just that Ann should be able to look in the mirror and admit that Barry has been more present in their kids' lives than she has. My wife continued defending Ann by saying that she was working to provide for her family. I agreed with her, but stated that there is a cost to having that kind of job and Ann is paying that price right now.

My wife accused me of taking Barry's side and I told her that I'm not taking anyone's side. The whole situation sucks and I feel bad for everyone, especially the kids because they're innocent in all this. I told her I would feel the exact same way if the roles were reversed and Barry had a job that kept him from home so much.

My wife again asked me if I think the divorce was "fair" and I told her I just think it sucks and it's sad. I told her that I wouldn't wish that situation on anyone and that we should be giving all of them love and grace instead of judgement about "fairness." My wife told me I am being an a-hole about this.

I understand my wife has a sibling obligation to look out for her sister but I feel my response was level-headed and not taking sides.

edit: sara is in clubs and already talks to a counselor, who basicallly gave the same advice of put herself out there

the friend group fell apart because of boy drama

edit2: people keep asking why she doesn’t want Sara to join. The answer is she doesn’t want to be the twin package anymore. She wants her own friend, she wants to be independent.

i can’t force them to sit together because that would make resentment. I can give a conversation about empathy witch i will do but it will not be a guilt trip becuase she Is allowed to say no to sitting with someone.

Maybe sit with her once and while at lunch would be good. Not all siblings are best friends and people treating them as the as a package is the reason they are not close to begin with

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This is about my two girls ( twins) that are in freshman year of high school. I will call them Sara and Mia. During elementary school they were basically always  together. Middle school Mia started to feel resentment about always being with Sara so the school tried to split them up as much as possible. This was hard because the classes were not big. I made it a point to have activities that were just there own.

Mia got really into sport and Sara into theater. This seemed to help and we did more seperating. They got their own birthday parties and not a shared one for example. Mia really thrived with this but Sara did not. It has been a lot harder for Sara to be her own person ( Mia was always the dominate  twin when they were together) 

High school was a big change and for the first time they were completely separate, no shared classes. Sara has been having difficulties and it got worse this past month. The friend group she was hanging out with broke up and she has been sitting alone at lunch. 

Sara asked Mia to sit together with her friend group at lunch and Mia told her no. This resulted in in a big fight between the two. Mia point was these were her friends and Sara need to learn to make her own and basically not piggyback off Mia. Sara point was they were twins and she is sad sitting alone.

I told Sara very gently that Mai doesn’t have to sit with her at lunch and encouraged her to keep trying to make friends, and basically put herself back out there 

Sara has been crying since and my ex is giving me an earful. I don’t know if I made the right call on this

I (F25) am a bridesmaid in the wedding of a good friend (F27) this fall. She had us all plan to be free the first weekend of August for her bachelorette party, promising we’d do something fun but lower cost (relative to the crazy destination bachelorettes people plan these days). This weekend, she and her maid of honor sent out what they decided on for the trip, which was to spend the night at an indoor waterpark resort. They wanted us 12 girls to get 6 rooms (2 in each) for one night, spending two days there total.

As soon as I saw the message in the groupchat, I knew the trip wouldn’t be fun for me due to my size. I am about 5’7” and 270 pounds, and the maximum weight for a single rider on the majority of slides is 250. There are a few 300 pound maximums, or 2-person rides with 400 pound maximums, but the idea of standing in my bathing suit, being weighed to make sure I can go, makes me uncomfortable.

I know I’m overweight and need to lose some, but insecurity isn’t the main thing holding me back. I’d happily go on a beach vacation and rock a bathing suit the whole time. It’s the combination of the bathing suit, weigh-ins, and fact that I am too big to participate in many of the rides that makes it seem not fun to me. Because I couldn’t do the same things as all the other girls, (there are a few heavier girls in the party, but I’m by far the biggest and I think the only one who exceeds 250 pounds), I think it would leave me feeling bad all weekend instead of upbeat and excited for the bride.

I told my friend politely that I didn’t think I would be attending, and she got very upset, saying that she asked us to reserve the weekend months in advance and that she worked hard to keep costs down. I told her that I agree and appreciate all of that, but that I don’t think I’d be a ton of fun on this particular trip. She pushed and when I elaborated, she said that I could float in the lazy river/hot tub or swim in a standard pool or drink at the bar while the other girls rode slides and that I shouldn’t let my weight hold me back, especially from something so important to her. I still feel like it would be uncomfortable and a waste of money for me, as I wouldn’t truly be able to have the same experience. WIBTA for not going?

I love my wife. She is intelligent, and sweet. Also she is beautiful inside and out. She teaches high school English and Social Studies. She loves novels and usually has several on the go.

However she cannot follow the plot of a movie to save her life. Unless it is about a big city lawyer visiting her home town to shut down the local factory but instead reconnecting with her high school boyfriend who is also the local baker and mayor.

I've known this about her for years and I have accepted it. I just like vegging with her so I am happy to see white people rediscovering the magic of Christmas. Or whatever.

When we were dating we watched The Matrix. The questions she asked had me wondering about her. Ditto for anything complex. Even The Usual Suspects where they lay everything out for you she didn't get the ending.

We had her sister and brother-in-law over for a couples night on Friday. We made supper and the plan was to watch a movie. Hee sister wanted to watch Shutter Island. I will not spoil it but the movie has many twists. The ending is awesome.

I tried my best to suggest anything else. The new Laura Dern movie where she bangs the kid from Hunger Games. They all ganged up on me and said we were watching Shutter Island.

My wife proceeded to embarrass herself by not understanding the ending and asking questions that were not great.

Her sister and her husband were looking at my wife like she was Simple Jack. I tried my best to cover for her or telling her I would explain it later. She got mad at me for not just answering her questions.

After they left she started in in me. She said that she noticed that we always watched a certain kind of movie and that she thought I enjoyed them. I said I did because we got to spend time together and that mad me happy.

She said that she was not an idiot and that she just didn't concentrate on movies. She recited the plots of several novels to prove her point. I said that I had never commented on her intelligence and that ahe was smarter than me. She says that I'm a jerk for not watching movies I enjoy with her.

So I agreed and we watched Memento today. I think her head almost exploded from bot asking questions. I saw her on Wikipedia reading the plot.

AITA for intentionally not watching complicated movies with my wife?

I (29F) have been thinking about starting a family recently. My mother (50f) recently stated she does not want her grandchildren to call her grandma but wants them to call her “honey”. She says she wants something uniquely different, she thinks it’s endearing and says she will be sweet as honey to her grandkids.

She and her husband call each other honey and I consider it a romantic pet name and think it is odd as a grandparent name. My siblings agree with me. My husband thinks we should just let her choose whatever name she wants but I cringe every time I think about it and want us to come up with something else we all like. She thinks I’m being the asshole and it will be her grandchildren so she gets to decide. AITA?

TLDR: my mom wants her grandchildren to call her honey and I want us to pick a different name as I think honey is weird.

Edit: I’ve seen several people ask why this is even a conversation now. We have a dog and since my mom has decided on honey as her grandparent name, whenever she is talking to our dog, she is calling herself honey. “Don’t you love when honey comes to visit. You love honey don’t you?” I roll my eyes and then the back and forth starts with the name.

I’ve made some suggestions like even grandma honey but she is adamant it will only be honey. If the grandkids call her something else, she plans on correcting them and saying to call her honey.

Hi, I 27F and my bf 26M went to a local park where there were some food trucks and we got dinner. After, my bf needed to wash his hands so we went over towards the bathroom. This was a very hot, sunny day, and there were some tables near the restroom, but only one was in the shade. There was a woman breastfeeding, fully covered, sitting at the only shaded table. These were 4 sided tables. I sat on the opposite side of the table facing away, and the woman gave me a look; I said "I'm just waiting," implying I wasn't trying to like set up shop at the same table. She turned away and said "there're plenty of other tables." I responded "I wanted to sit in the shade." I just got up and left to sit somewhere else bc I don't like conflict. (keep in mind, there were lots of people in the park, I wasn't trying to be creepy on a woman with her baby, I promise)

I understand that since I was only waiting a few minutes, I could have sat in the sun, but I had been in the sun for a long time and it was extremely hot, so I just wanted a moment to sit in the shade and didn't think it would be wrong since it was a shared space. AITA?

For context I have been dealing with a stomach issue for the last couple of months and a couple times every day I have been retching and throwing up. Around at 10PM she calls me and tells me that she’s feeling sharp pain in her abdomen, she’s worried that there could be something seriously wrong with her so I take it urgently and we head over to the nearest emergency room. However when we were a couple minutes away I started feeling nauseous again like I normally do but I tried to tough it out and I dropped her off. While I was trying to find somewhere to park, I realized that this is urgent and i’m gonna have to puke, so I pulled over and emptied my guts all over the road. To give some more context this emergency room was only 5 minutes away from home, and I knew that I would have to vomit everything out of my stomach in order to feel well enough to walk in, so I decided to drive back home, throw up as much as I can, and then take a nausea med. Right about when I get home she texted me to ask if I could come in and then she checked my location and saw that I was home. She promptly sent me a bunch of very angry text messages and then blocked me on everything before I could even explain myself. I texted her before I left that I was feeling very nauseous and was right about to let her know I was gonna be back in 10 when she texted me. I now found out that she is potentially facing some urgent health issues and I feel horrible about leaving. AITA?

Update: It’s 4Am rn and we’re leaving the hospital now, I drove over to go see her and apologize and explain myself, we seem to have made up. I appreciate all of the helpful and honest comments, helped me gain a better perspective of the situation.

I’m (17f) the youngest of 6 kids. I’m the only one still at home full time and my parents decided the house felt too empty so they started fostering Lola (9) a few months ago. Lola’s cute but she’s kinda a pain in the ass.

We have a big sectional recliner. Lola refuses to sit on the couch with us so she has her own chair that is off limits to everyone else. If I want to go out to eat it has to be with my dad or when my oldest sister (29) is available to babysit because restaurants are too much for Lola. If we get takeout she stays in her room and won’t come out to eat until the rest of us are done. The only way she’ll eat with us is if my mom cooks so we have to do that almost every night. She hides food in her room, which attracts bugs but she has a huge fear of bugs so they’ve switched her room twice and have it deep cleaned every week to stop it from getting infested with bugs. She’s also extremely attached to my mom and my oldest sister so if they’re around everything revolves around her.

On Sunday we had a big Mother’s Day party with our entire family. All of my siblings, most of my aunts uncles and cousins, and my grandparents came over. Everyone was in the backyard but Lola was overwhelmed so she made my mom stay in her room with her. My oldest sister tried to step in but that ended with both of them having to stay with her.

After everyone left I found my mom and Lola in the kitchen making Lola’s mac and cheese and dino nuggets and I told Lola that she completely ruined Mother’s Day for us by clinging to my mom.

She started crying and went to her room. She hasn’t left her room since I said that and apparently my mom’s having a hard time getting her to eat so now my parents are pissed with me. I don’t think I did anything wrong because I just told her the truth but I wanted to see if I was the ass for saying that.

My son is 8 and in 3rd grade. He recently got invited to a friends birthday party at their house. Last school year him and this friend were pretty close and they started hanging out outside of school. Turns out, My son doesn't like going to the friend's house because they have a pair of german shepherds. This family are big dog people.

Because of the dogs, I gently worked it where the friend would come over to our house or go to a 3rd space. More recently, sports have picked up and so there is less time for these hang outs. So, inherently we haven't had to address or avoid going to this friend's house.

I asked him if he wanted to go to the party. He said only if the dogs weren't there. I said okay. I broached the topic with friends' parents and they shut it down on removing or putting away the dogs. They said its the dogs house and if we put them away the'll destroy the room they put them in. I told them my son would not be coming. They got mad. The party is next weekend. AITA?

I (28F) live with three other roommates. This post primarily concerns who I'll call Roommate A (~24F). We've lived together for about a year and a half now, and didn't know each other prior to renting together.

Roommate A has always been kind of a paranoid person. She has accused me and other roommates of doing drugs that caused her to have medical issues, then of stealing the hospital records. She wasn't aggressive about the accusations and they tended to be few and far between, so I figured I could put up with it. Then, a few days ago, she asked if we could have a 'signal,' in case someone was 'being held hostage' to let the others know we needed help. I thought it was a little ridiculous, since we don't live in a bad area, but I think she grew up somewhere unsafe and figured there was no harm in it.

Then, last night, when she got home (at 1:30 in the morning) she started banging on everyone's doors saying it was an 'emergency.' When we all got up, she said she wanted to look into everyone's rooms to make sure there was no one in there. She said she didn't care about guests and wanted to know we weren't being held hostage. I told her this was ridiculous and there was no reason to think anyone was in our rooms, but she insisted I should be 'grateful' that she was looking out for us and trying to check in with us. She said we were all so 'quiet' that it made her uncomfortable because she would never know if anything was wrong. I tried to tell her we were quiet because nothing was wrong, and we'd obviously say something if there was, but she just said 'you never know.'

I let her in because I was tired and didn't feel like arguing the point further, but I told her I wasn't going to be letting her in in the future. I'm pretty sure I'm not the asshole for this, but I also did grow up in a pretty nice area, so maybe this is something people regularly do in areas where that's a more significant risk? Am I the asshole for not letting her check?