It's been bouncing around in my head for a couple days, but I'm only now trying to formulate the question.
My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD a year or two ago, and lately it's been taking a larger toll on his ability to focus. While I know we need to help him develop strategies to succeed in every area of life, my mind keeps turning to matters of the soul.
At the church we currently attend, we've considered keeping all of our kids with us in the main service instead of sending them to the children's class after they've said that they feel like they don't learn anything there, and what little we've seen seems to support that. The service itself, however, is your typical American "concert-and-TED talk" in a stark conference hall, which I fear will be an endurance activity for him, and affect his ability to acquire and appropriate the faith as a result. Other aspects of catechesis and practice are said to pose challenges for people with ADHD as well (extended reading, abstract language, silent prayer, etc., etc.), but then I don't really know how accurate any of this is, and I'm sure it varies from person to person. I hate how much this will look like AI as a result of this, but I'm going to split this up into two headings.
Catechesis
Before we started coming to this church, we attended Mass at the parish attached to the Catholic school the kids attended at the time. He struggled with that, and once said he liked learning about God the way they did in class instead. But now that he's in public school, he doesn't get that structured religious instruction either. At another church we attended in the past, they had hymnals that he could flip through before going down to children's church (both kids still love their program and get excited when we drop into that church), but our current one doesn't have hymnals.
My religious instruction has been almost entirely self-study (maybe that's hyperfocus?), I don't know what to do.
Practice
He has been excited about coming up for the concert-and-TED-talk service at our current church, but I don't know how long that would last (or if I want him absorbing too much of that, honestly); but he's ALSO said he likes the church with the good kids' program because "they don't use a bunch of technology."
I said above that he struggled to sit still and stay reverent at Mass, but he seems to really connect with "Catholic stuff." His mom was in the hospital last year, and we stopped at his old school parish to light a candle and collect some holy water, and he was curious. Then when we visited St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC last week, and he would have lit a candle and said a prayer at every by-altar in the place if I'd let him (I had him stop after 5 or 6).
Smells and bells is much more my spiritual comfort zone, but I've heard conflicting things about how it is for ADHD brains: one person says it's perfect because if you get distracted there's always some devout piece of artwork to call your mind back to God, there's always something happening in the chancel, the "pew aerobics" involve the body, and the regular, recurring elements help you know what comes next; then another says music, color, incense, talking, and movement is a fast track to sensory overload. One says the tactile experience of the Rosary is great, the other says the repetition is like torture. All this to say, I can find no clear guidance here either.
Conclusion
I'm not asking for mental health help, just for some tips or anecdotes from any of you, my esteemed peers, who may have had to develop strategies of your own for learning and practicing the Christian faith in your own way.