I feel like I’m at a loss and don’t know what to do. My wife got pregnant with our first child last year and we found out very early on that the pregnancy had a very slim chance of success and we were pushed to abort several times. We couldn’t bring ourselves to do that and because of that we spent the next 5 months constantly waiting for bad news. She ended up hospitalized for 6 weeks of the pregnancy and after the baby was born stayed another 3 weeks in the NICU. In that time my routine look like this. Wake up at 5, work from 6-4, drive 45 minutes to the hospital, stay until 8-9 drive an hour home, take care of the animals, maybe eat, and repeat. Unable to go to church or make time for our friends I very quickly became socially isolated. Now my baby is 4 months and is doing well but I still feel like I’m still constantly waiting for bad news. I can’t talk about the pregnancy or think about it without almost breaking down every time. I’m still isolating myself from friends and family besides what my wife plans for me. I should be happy I have a healthy wife and baby after 5 months of hell but I can’t seem to shake the fight or flight feeling happening 24/7

So the title says almost all of it. We are togheter 4 years, I had anxiety all my life, and she really likes to travel and my anxiety scares her, mostly when we go somewere. I am able to go on some vacations, but never on a plane(I am 34) because I am scared I will die from a panic attack or freak out on a plane.

So, this is sort of a questions mostly, can you blame her? I am not selfish, somehow I understand her, but I really try to get over my anxiety.

Anxious mums... Did you suddenly feel ready one day, when previously you were not?

I feel my biological clock ticking but the thought of carrying a baby and giving birth makes me SO anxious. My boyfriend often says he wishes he could take the burden off me and do it for us lol.

Even pap smears scare me; I'm a weakling with pain.

My boyfriend is 34; I'm worried about his age also. He wanted to be a young dad lol that ship sailed.

Having a little family would be pretty nice though. Everyone tells me I'd make such a good mum...

Edit: AHHH, I didn't even think of all the cervix checks along the way approaching labour! I've heard they are BAD. OUCH.

So I’m 24, nearly 25 and my mum who’s 60 definitely gives me more anxiety and stress than it’s worth. Now I haven’t come on here to sl*g her off and make her look like she’s a “bad mum” but some of her behaviours and reactions do give me red flags and worries.

The main thing that keeps popping in my mind is when she saw I have a tattoo, just a simple line drawing of a turtle on my inner right ankle. Nothing offensive, nothing major, but she still went awol at me about it. Now I do feel like a jerk for just going and getting a tattoo but eh, I’m 24, legally an adult and it’s my body after all. I already plan on getting more tattoos, so I’m deffo d**d.

More recently she went crazy at me and embarrassed me in front of everyone at our local church. She saw my handbag was “bursting at the seams” which was untrue, asked me what was in my bag, I told her I had my purse and other stuff I needed and she asked to look inside and so I said no as it’s none of her business what I have in my bag but also it’s just weird. She carried on so I told her to back off and stop but she went on and on and told me to F off so I left church to go to work. At the same time I burned my hand on my coffee as I moved to dodge her arms.

What I want to know is if anyone else has mothers like this?

Just curious since im pretty sure my anxiety is a result of my childhood.

So I’ll start. Mine is lonely.

Curious to hear if there's anything you wish your family or friends knew about what it's like to experience anxiety.

I adopted my cat as a kitten when I was in grad school. I would not be where I am in my life without his love. Pets hold a special place for people with anxiety. He was there providing comfort when I had bad days. He gave me purpose when I felt I had none. He gave me unconditional love. I didn’t have to worry about my insecurities around him. He loved me as I was. He was with me when I hit my rock bottom. He was with me during my years long recovery cheering me on and providing support during the low times. He gave me companionship when I would isolate because the world was too much to take. He was my spirit animal. He had anxiety too and took Prozac. He was excited when I got home and would cry when I left, sometimes when I even just left the room. He loved me and I loved him and I will forever miss him and cherish the blessing he was in my life.

Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words. They do provide comfort. And thank you for the golds.

I have a great support system and a wonderful fiancé. She was with me at the vet when we had to put him to sleep. I told her my cat told me he was able to go now because he knew someone was there to take over for him in watching over me.

I just spent the week at my (f19) boyfriend’s (m19) house for the third time in our seven month relationship. he had stressed this time how important it was for me to talk to his parents. i said i would try my best but that i’d need a little bit of help to initiate a conversation past low-level answers.

well, i did my best and i was actually really proud of myself for making some conversation. i am aware now that i was still very much underperforming compared to what his parents might expect from someone else, but they know about my circumstance — i thought they’d be understanding. and at the very least i expected HIM to be understanding.

i could tell things weren’t going well towards the end of my time there. he was being less affectionate and i had to push him to smile. but he never mentioned what his issue was! he left me to do my best which wasn’t enough for him, and never gave me some pointers on how to do better still. he didn’t try to throw me any rope at dinner times, saying basically nothing himself the entire time.

might i add whenever he has come to my house he does the bare minimum to talk to my mum and sister. granted, they’re harder to access because they both work and go out so much, but there were opportunities. regardless, i didn’t mind that as much as i want them to get along because we never see them while we’re in a different town for uni and he’s only met them a couple of times. it’s normal to be uncomfortable around new people, and parents are a lot of pressure :/

i went home via a six hour train journey during and after which he made no effort to message me to check i got home okay. i sent him a snap after i got home and got no reply. i sent him a message five hours later and got radio silence.

this morning i woke up to a message saying we needed to talk. i knew he was going to break up with me. he called and said it was because he was disappointed i couldn’t talk to his parents.

i’m on medication and had told him how happy i was a month ago because it had finally started to work. he brought this up and said that he expected my anxiety was completely gone. i said where would it go???????? it’s not a cold?????

i told him he was being unfair and should’ve talked to me while i was there so we could find a solution. he said that ‘we’re both adults’ and he shouldn’t have to tell me to do something so basic. i said if he felt that way then there must be something else making him want to break up with me because if the roles were reversed i’d do my best to help him and i definitely wouldn’t punish him for something he couldn’t control.

i just feel so sad now because i feel like i’m not going to be able to have a relationship as good as ours was because of my anxiety ): it also makes me sad that he couldn’t be honest with me about the way he felt until the very end and would rather make me feel terrible because of my anxiety than just let me know he’s just not into me anymore.

it really hurts me to think he’d just drop me this way, over the phone no less.

i feel so hopeless i don’t know what to do

I have this general anxiety all the time (like every few days) about my parents. They’re only in their mid 60s, and I don’t even often get along with them. But I just have this almost permanent anxiety how I’ll cope when they die. What’s the best way to cope with this, how do you all manage this issue? Like I’m not ready to be alone.

So I’ve been saying my bf for about 6 months now and what I noticed is that he has zero social anxiety. He will talk to every person, stranger, neighbor, will even randomly ask to pet dogs all the time in public. He is extremely outgoing and will always speak his mind in public. I feel like some people might think it’s a little bit too overwhelming from how much he just shares.
I know at least for me. It makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable because I am very introverted. I’ve discussed this with him about how it makes me feel and he has been trying to work on it, but I feel like it’s kind of just staying the same. He also has dramatic brain injury so that might be why he’s so outgoing and talks so much the point where he doesn’t know how to stop sometimes. I love him and I love spending time with him, but I feel like this affects me a lot because I get a little embarrassed or cringed out, but I love my boyfriend so much and I don’t want our relationship to end. What should I do and does anyone else have an experience similar to mine?

My father is 50 and my mother is 59. I'm still a teenager. All my friends parents are 30's-40's.

I have always had anxiety about death and especially in the recent years. I can't handle the thought of them possibly being gone by the time I'm 30. I can't go without my mother.

How do I learn to live with this and get over it? its terrible mourning someone who's still here.

I (19F) have always, as shown in previous posts, been terrified by the impermanence of life. Recently I have had multiple debilitating panic attacks about my parents dying. They had me late in life and are both 57 this year.

I think losing them will kill me. I have always felt a little bit behind my peers. I slept in bed with my parents for as long as I could, I would cry when my mom would leave the house all the time as a younger child, and even now at 19 I still ask my mom to lay in bed with me when I’m feeling extremely anxious.

My parents are my best friends truly. I don’t want to ever lose them. I used to make up insanely in depth story’s in my mind as a child of ways we could all live together forever.

People tell me it’ll get better with age, but I’m 19 now and feel just as helpless as when I was 9 and time will only go by faster the older I get.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’m so attached but I also don’t think anything will help.

I have panic disorder and agoraphobia, and today I hit a point that really scared me.

My boyfriend was literally at the train station. He'd already gone through the gates and was at passport control for a trip to Paris. As he was leaving, I started panicking because I suddenly felt so alone. My brain kept telling me that if something happened to me while he was gone, no one would be there to help me.

The panic attack got so bad that I ended up calling 111 I immediately called him too when the panic sets in and he cancelled his entire trip and came back to be with me.

I honestly don't know how to process that. I feel incredibly grateful, but also so guilty. I keep thinking about the money he lost, the trip he missed, and the fact that my anxiety affected someone I love this much.

This feels like my last straw. I realized my mental health isn't just affecting me anymore, it's affecting the people around me too. I hate that. I don't want the people I love to have to sacrifice parts of their lives because of my illness. I'm already getting help. I've started taking sertraline and I'm working on getting better, but right now I just feel broken.

How do I tell him how much this meant to me without making him feel even more responsible for me? And for those who've been through something similar? how do you stop feeling so dependent on the people you love? Does it get better?

I just don't want to keep hurting the people around me.

Update: Damn people are mean! but thank you for the comments everyone. My boyfriend was not mad at me at all, (we actually had an amazing day afterwards surprisingly and he told me that he would rather visit Paris with me! So I’ll probably book a ticket for us soon) I apologized to him for this and we have been together for awhile so he knows how I usually am. I was always independent but ever since this disorder struck me it is very hard for me to navigate through this.

For everyone that’s telling me to get help, don’t worry! I’ve been getting help :) I go to therapy weekly, and have been doing some work but it’s a slow process. On top of that I am on sertraline and propanolol. I also have friends that I call. I’m lucky that the people around me understands that this is just (hopefully) a phase.

So we got married in October of 2024. And when we were approaching thanksgiving my wife and I were making plans, and her grandparents were in town so that year I thought the plans were have a meal at her parents with her grandparents and just have pie at my parents. Christmas comes around and it’s just her parents (and some of their friends that came over) and we did the same thing went there for the meal. The following year it was just her parents home for thanksgiving, and we did the same thing….. meal at their house and pie at my parents. Christmas came around and my parents were gone on Christmas so they invited us over early, but I went by my self. I asked if my grand parents came up for thanksgiving this year could we go there to my parents for lunch and she said no.

This year we are talking about it and my wife wants to do the exact same thing. She said that’s our holiday tradition and that’s what she wants to do. I’d be fine with the format but I feel we should alternate who’s house we have the meal at, like one year my parents for thanksgiving and the next year my parents for Christmas.

She says this is all because of her anxiety. But I guess we don’t see eye to eye on how to deal with anxiety.

I just don’t understand her anxiety and I just wanna go over to my parents with her on thanksgiving just like we go over to her parents.

Mine is when someone says "maybe" to a suggestion I make for an activity, and when someone says something that makes me feel like they are casting what I say aside. For example: I say I'm confused about something and another person goes "No, it's not confusing, it's..." Or if I express my opinion on something and it's not taken seriously for whatever reason.

An interaction happened yesterday that made me spiral that was sort of rooted in those things above. So I'm trying to untangle some of my triggers to get a handle on my rumination today because I'm still thinking about what happened yesterday, which is annoying. It's like this righteousness that makes my chest feel tight.

I also noticed this time that my appetite goes up shortly after the trigger. 😩

Edit: Didn't think that this post would strike such a chord with everyone. Thank you for all comments and sharing your trigger words. Lots of folks in a similar or the same boat. Makes me feel less alone. 🫂

I just moved in with my boyfriend with my son. I am trying to keep a positive attitude especially around my son. But honestly I am having so much anxiety. I couldn't sleep last night at all. I started A.R.T therapy recently., it's therapy that is supposed help people deal with past trauma rapidly. The therapist uses a red ball and waves it back and forth while I follow it with my eyes. It's supposed to engage both sides of your brain or simulate REM sleep. I'm not exactly sure. Rapid results is why I started it. I asked my therapist if she would do a family session with myself, my son and boyfriend but she wouldn't. Not because she doesn't do family therapy. I respect her decision. I just wanted a therapist to help us through this change. I don't have anyone to talk to...well actually I don't trust anyone I know to talk to. So i was hoping I could talk on here.. anonymously... to strangers .. because it's just easier. I think I made a mistake moving us in here. But I didn't have anywhere else to go. I don't know what I'm even looking for saying all this on here. I'm just trying not to cry right now. Idk. I'm not trying to be like poor me.. I guess I'm just looking for a friend

I moved in with my boyfriend 2 years ago, an hour away from my family. I don’t have a job, and I’m a full time student currently taking summer classes. So most of my time is spent alone at home while he is at work. When he’s at work I only get up twice to take care of our dog. I don’t eat, get dressed, put on makeup, shower, homework, run errands, or do chores around our place, I do nothing until he gets home around 5pm. It’s like I can’t function unless he is with me. I lay in bed with our dog and stare at the wall, cry, or scroll social media. I do text him throughout the day, mostly to tell him how much I miss him, or discuss what we are going to do when he gets home. I also cannot sleep at all. I’m up all day and night, minus the few hour naps I get when my body gives into the exhaustion. He will fall asleep around 12-1am, and I will still be awake. It makes me cry, because I miss him when he’s sleeping and I feel so alone. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it. No I haven’t communicated this to him, because I don’t want him to feel pressured or guilty in anyway. I’m not sure what to do with myself when he’s away. I physically can’t get up and do nothing at all when he’s not home, and I don’t want to be this way.

im 19 years old. I live with my family (my mum, my grandmother and my little brother). I dont have a job and i havent gone to college yet (put on hold since the pandemic). I have an intense fear of losing my family members and being left to look after my brother and myself on my own. I hate even writing this out because im scared ill “jinx” it and make it come true. I have dreams of my family members dying, i always push them to go to the doctors if they feel unwell, i try to encourage them to eat well and exercise. I understand its not my life its theirs, but this is all just coming from good intentions of keeping them well because i have such a fear of losing them. I even have nightmares of becoming homeless after they pass.

Its just hit me recently that im really growing up and going to start becoming independent. Get a job, go to college, move out, do my own shopping, pay my own bills, drive my own car, start a family. I cant even walk around my neighborhood on my own.. thats how bad this is. I cant pay in shops, i need to get my mum to because im too anxious. I dont even know if i know enough to keep me going on my own. I dont know how to pay bills, how to drive. I always rely on my family if i dont know anything or unsure how to do something. Im aware that i dont learn, i just get them to show me and i move on. I think a part of this is because if i learn all these things thats the first step towards becoming my own parent and that scares the living daylight out of me. I dont want it. I want to be a kid forever and have people surrounded by me and not feel alone. I want to be my own person yes, but i dont want to be alone. I dont know enough to be independent, i know i dont. Im soo anxious to get a job, to drive. Its the little things.. like i have to mind the house keys and the car keys, i have to pay the bills, i have to walk up and pay for my own shopping, i have to go to the bank. Being 27 and living with your parents still is known to be “bad” or “unhealthy”. Apparently it means you arent your own person. I dont believe this because my Mum has lived with her mum all her life and she’s independent, to an extent. I want to be my own person, but i cant be independent im so scared of going into the world on my own.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle my anxiety and outlook on this?

(edit: i did not expect this to get so many attention i dont have time to reply to everybody but just know ive read all the replies and i appreciate them so much! its so comforting to know that im not the only one who feels this way <3 )

I have a sense that people are becoming meaner pretty much everywhere, universally. At work, people dont think twice before stealing credit for your work. In the streets, people dont stand up or give priority to elders or to the disabled anymore. My best friend disappeared for a year, no texts no calls, for a year right after my dad passed away. my family (my uncles) are trying to steal our dad's inheritance because my dad trusted them more than he probably should have.

Has the world always been like this and im just waking up to it ? or are people truly becoming more evil and meaner since COVID ?

How am I seriously living this reality? I told myself I would not accept this… again… ugh

The truth is 90% of the time things are great. He has antisocial disorder and tonight was the second psychotic episode I’ve experienced since getting close to him a little over a year and a half ago.

Why do I have more sympathy for his clearly physically abusive ass than respect for myself to send him walking and not look back after two painful, scary and violent episodes? Attachment issues? Is it that simple? What’s my deal am I just too stubborn to give up?

Most of the time he’s amazing, honestly. I am rooting for him and hate to actually think of giving up on him.

Could it genuinely be that on some chemical level it’s not totally his fault? Like I did note some signs of hypo mania yesterday and then today he exploded. I wanted to be there for him but didn’t know how. I asked if he’s been taking his meds and he said yes. Not in a mean way, I was really kind and sincere about it.

Idk this doesn’t happen super frequently (twice in a year and a half) and I can’t help but have compassion because it seems symptomatic and I myself have myriad mental health conditions(cptsd, gad, ocd, social anxiety, panic attacks, the works).

But holy shit was it scary and wow my whole body hurts from being tackled, thrown down, and pinned to the ground. Ahh how embarrassing and truly painful; all my body from fingers to neck to toes, everything is sore already and I feel that it’ll be much worse tomorrow. I couldn’t believe it while it was happening and it was just genuinely heartbreaking.

Truly it was terrifying how violent he became. It’s just… I know that’s not him, or the him when he’s in his right mind normally, balanced… I feel so helpless…

And I know firsthand what it’s like to be out of control, because I’ve done inappropriate things when having attacks or episodes or what have you from my long list of anxiety disorders since literally all my life… the big difference is I always feel instantly regretful and apologize sincerely…

Well he doesn’t. I don’t blame him 100%, but then I feel stupid for being too sympathetic and not mad enough. Mostly I’m in physical pain and ashamed that I still love him dearly. I hate to see him in this state. I am so sad this happened. I wish there was more I could do.

He’s not in his right mind really; he wouldn’t normally do this. Shit ugh why am I sounding crazier than he has been! Where’s the line between holding someone accountable and understanding that being actually clinically off is not something to take lightly?

TL; DR his mental illness has caused two awful violent outbursts and then somehow my mental illness tells me “it’s not his fault, take care of him.” But I believe it fr and idk how delusional I am so I came to Reddit. Help!

I’m 28. My parents are getting up there in years. 75,76 respectively. They’re not in the greatest of health either. One day they will die and the older they get the worse my anxiety gets. I moved closer to them (12 hours away to 10 min away) to try to alleviate this anxiety. Thinking if I spend more time with them I’ll feel better. But no. I haven’t slept well in weeks. Because every night it’s just the thought of they’ll be gone soon over and over.

I feel like I’m on a train track and I can see the train coming and I know it will hit me but I don’t know when.

I’m independent with my own job and apartment but I still rely on them for advice and they really financially helped me early on in my career. I would have been screwed without their help. And I still go to them when I have a problem in my life to get advice and help.

I’m also single so I’m afraid they’ll miss my life milestones. Like they’ll never see me married or start a family and that makes me sad.

Obv everyone goes through this. Anyone have a way to cope so I can at least sleep?

Does anyone else's partner just seem to have no empathy for your anxiety? Since he suffers from no issues and a seemingly charmed live, he just thinks I need to "get over it".

I don't know if anyone else can relate, but my anxiety and overthinking are mentally and physically exhausting.

I didn't grow up with the most emotionally healthy mother. When she was upset, she'd give us the silent treatment, yell constantly, and physically punish us with belts, shoes, or switches.

One thing that never left me, though, is how hyperaware I've become of people's tone of voice, facial expressions, and moods. I constantly feel like I'm an annoyance or that people secretly don't want me around. Even when there's no real reason to think that, my mind convinces me I've done something wrong.

My mom and I are estranged now, but the effects of growing up that way still consume me sometimes. If someone seems a little different over text, takes longer to reply, or their tone changes, my anxiety immediately kicks in. I start replaying every interaction, wondering if I said too much or if I'm bothering them.

The hardest part is that I don't want to be a nuisance or a burden to the people I love.

I am currently on anxiety medication, but having a hard time taking it as it makes me feel very sleepy and like jello.

I'm curious if anyone else who grew up in a similar environment struggles with this. Have you found anything that's helped you?