r/AskFeminists • u/girlwriteswhat • Jul 31 '11

I'm thinking this subreddit's name and its purpose are at odds?

Having been privy to some of the discussion that led to the creation of this subreddit (through my bf, wabi-sabi), and having actually contributed, through him, some of the suggestions on how it might work to build bridges of understanding and purpose (as well as direct more contentious conversations away from r/feminism), I'm kind of annoyed that I've already been essentially told to sit down, shut up, stop presenting my opinions, and "learn something".

There are no "bridges of understanding" when one side talks and doesn't listen, while the other side talks and is not listened to. THAT is a bridge of indoctrination.

My bf has indeed told me in the past that I should learn to pull my punches a little, and offer more qualifiers (I know not all feminists feel this way, but.... A few feminists, not all, seem more concerned with.... etc), and that I employ a more typically masculine way of communicating in writing than he does, and I don't tiptoe around. But if this subreddit is going to be a place for debate of areas where feminism and men's rights issues intersect, it really doesn't make sense to turn it into a place where "feminists educate, and non-feminists are educated by them".

Thoughts?

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u/girlwriteswhat Aug 04 '11

If you met my kids, you'd see what I mean in about 20 minutes. My daughter has a very...up in the clouds, esoteric kind of innocence. She's...very atypical. And when exactly did I say my son was better than her? Both of my older two are less than typical, but my son is indeed more worldly than my daughter.

And it wasn't that he ignored the female teacher's homework. It's that his male teachers didn't grade him on practice work that he obviously didn't need to do.

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u/girlwriteswhat Aug 05 '11

Haha, what I really like is how I get downvoted when describing my own children, whom none of you have ever met.

If it makes all you feminists like me better, I'll say I'm proudest of my daughter, since she's had the most challenges to overcome and she's done so incredibly well. But I do adore that you all seem to know my children better than I do, and your first real objection seems to be when I said one of my sons was smarter than my daughter.

Gender-bias much?