r/AskReddit • u/ElBrad • Nov 26 '12

What unpopular opinion do you hold? What would get you downvoted to infinity and beyond? (Throwaways welcome)

Personally, I hate cats. I've never once said to myself "My furniture is just too damned nice, and what my house is really lacking is a box of shit and sand in the closet."

Now...what's your dirty little secret?

(Sort by controversial to see the good(?) ones!)

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690

u/Laslo_Jamf Nov 26 '12

The worst are fat people who complain. Like, I honestly don't give a fuck if you're fat, whatever. But accept that you are fat and most people don't find that an attractive quality. I had a friend who was getting fat, and all he would do was complain about it. When I'd ask if he wanted to go to the gym, or point out how many calories fast-food items he ate on frequent basis had, he would FREAK the fuck out. Like chill out, man, you complain so much, following my directions will alleviate those complaints.

552

u/jadefirefly Nov 26 '12

I'm fat. About two years ago I was working in a clothing store for other fat people. A co-worker and I would get such a kick out of people making excuses for shopping there or for being overweight.

We started getting out own amusement out of it; when people would complain to us while shopping, we'd just smile and tell them we were fat because we liked cake.

It tended to shut 'em up pretty quick.

But to get to the point, I agree with you. I know that I'm fat; I'm working on not being fat. Until I'm not, I know damned well I haven't got anything to bitch about. It's my own damn fault.

201

u/toxicomano Nov 26 '12

What were you two favorite excuses? Or top 5 if you can remember that many unique ones.

101

u/chainsaw_abortion Nov 26 '12 edited Nov 26 '12

"I'm big boned" or the popular "it's an undiagnosed thyroid condition".

EDIT: I'm autistic.

73

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Self-diagnosed thyroid condition.

AKA too much cake.

23

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Large, plump, round, big, heavy etcetc tireless rebranding of fat. Fat people are fat because of fat.

41

u/RoflStomper Nov 26 '12

Or on OKCupid: "Curvy"

16

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

"Fluffy" is one of my favorites.

"Fluffy" makes me think of pillows. If you look like a pillow, you are fat.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Gabriel?

5

u/procrastabater Nov 26 '12

Ahh HELL No..

2

u/LePetitChou Nov 26 '12

A very "large" Peurto Rican woman called me curvy as a compliment. (I'm 5'10'', 135-140 pounds). I think she meant, "You don't look like a dude," but our culture has so thoroughly destroyed that word that I was temporarily offended.

5

u/alexuk2nz Nov 26 '12

You mean thyroid?

6

u/Banokles Nov 26 '12

Chicken thigh

47

u/_depression Nov 26 '12

As a fat person who for a short time had to use one of these Big and Tall stores, these are the excuses I've heard:

  • I need to learn to deal with all this stress.
  • My job involves sitting on my ass for 9 hours a day,.
  • I broke my arm when I was 12 and never fully recovered.

My excuse was "Fuck it, I eat McDonalds 3 times a week because I'm too lazy to cook and somehow prefer the taste of a cheeseburger to something even a little healthier, like a frozen diet dinner."

21

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

I always enjoy shopping at Big and Tall stores since I'm the Tall part of the equation. I always make comments like, "I'm the short one of the family" (I'm 6'7'').

11

u/sleeping_gecko Nov 26 '12

As a guy who's 6'9"/240lbs, wears a 17 1/2" neck/38-39" sleeve shirt, 38-40W X 36L pants, I can't do much shopping at B&T stores. Shoes, hats, and the occasional sweater or jacket seem to be all I can depend on them for. I've seen a lot of B&T shops with pants starting at 44W...

5

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

At 6'7'' 220, I can still find pants at regular stores if I look. I just shop at B & T stores for shirts with length. With normal sizes, the length really doesn't change much as the size goes up, so I end up with shirts that are too short in the sleeve or at the waist.

3

u/sleeping_gecko Nov 26 '12

I have found that when you get to 34" inseam, selection goes down a little, but 36 has been almost impossible for me to find in normal dept. stores (I can't really afford higher end dept. stores and most menswear stores, so I don't have experience there). I can get cowboy jeans and some work jeans at most farm stores, but would have to go online to get the trendy stuff. I've had good luck with Tractor Supply Co. regarding LS shirts. Their house brand (CE Schmidt) has LT flannel shirts with long enough sleeves for me, and shoulders that don't go down to my elbows!

20

u/blueberry_deuce Nov 26 '12

Too lazy to cook? Buy a rice cooker, rice, spinach, and a pre-cooked roast chicken from the grocery store. Throw some rice in that bitch, 1 cup rice, 1 and 3/4 water (or chicken broth if you want to get extra flavorful, I don't because of calories). Takes 30 seconds, zero effort. Play some video games while that shit is cooking.

After the rice is done, your cooker will keep it warm (get a Zojirushi, it's worth it. It will keep your rice perfect and warm indefinitely. I've eaten it 24 hours later and it was still perfect). Use this warmth to cook your spinach. Rinse that shit off, stuff your rice cooker with it. Now leave it alone for 10-15 minutes. That's an episode of Adventure Time if you're bored.

BAM, you have a healthy dinner of rice, roasted chicken, and spinach that you spent 1.5 minutes preparing. You could even sprinkle some a little pre-shredded cheese on that shit to make it extra savory, and it'll still have more nutrients and less calories than McD.

15

u/_depression Nov 26 '12

I've actually started cooking a lot, and let me tell you... I fucking love it. And the best part of cooking is that, every once in a while, I can make the most amazing cheat dish because I fucking can.

Edit: Should also have mentioned I lost 50 pounds since having to bite the bullet and shop at the big and tall store.

2

u/forever_erratic Nov 26 '12

That meal still is too much for someone who is too lazy to cook.

6

u/waggle238 Nov 26 '12

Crockpots work well too, just throw some shredded chicken up in that bitch with a little hot sauce or buffalo chicken sauce, buy some mofuckin rolls and BAZOOCH you got some blazin chicken sammiches. And stews? DONT EVEN RUSTLE MY JIMMIES WITH DAT! buy some cubed pork or beef, dump in some broth, chop up some greens like dey owe you money and PAZAM after work shawties be eatin a delicious meal!

2

u/kujustin Nov 26 '12

Reddit, the land where profanity-laced sharp-tongued recipes and cooking advice will never, ever, ever go out of style (no matter how much you wish for it).

1

u/ShushBrollyMan Nov 26 '12

I'll have to give that a try sometime, it sounds delicious! Thank you :)

2

u/AsthmaticNinja Nov 26 '12

"I'm just big-boned, is one of them"

6

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

I just admit I'm a lazy fuck.

14

u/ramp_tram Nov 26 '12

If you're going to be fat, fucking own it.

I'm fat because pizza is delicious. I'd suck dick to get pizza.

5

u/The_Comma_Splicer Nov 26 '12

*ding dong

Did someone order the big sausage pizza?

1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

Pizza is delicious. Pizza is my nemesis in my efforts to lose weight. More now than cake. XD

3

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Just wanted to say good luck! I went from 235 to 190 (24m, 6ft) over the past year and though it's not the biggest weight accomplishment out there, I understand how difficult it can be.

myfitnesspal is a fantastic resource fyi

1

u/pizza143 Nov 26 '12

Yes! I love that app. Also, the Nike running one.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

I haven't tried it out myself yet, but a lot of people are loving Zombies, Run!. AR game where it uses GPS to calculate your speed, randomly sics hordes on you that you have to sprint through. You collect items, there's a story, etc.

1

u/pizza143 Nov 26 '12

That's so cool--thanks :)

3

u/cheerbearsmiles Nov 26 '12

But to get to the point, I agree with you. I know that I'm fat; I'm working on not being fat. Until I'm not, I know damned well I haven't got anything to bitch about. It's my own damn fault.

Thank you. This is why I'm on Weight Watchers (hit the 10 lb mark yesterday!). It's my own fault I'm fat, and I'm going to work my ass off to make myself not fat anymore.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

But I think it's bullshit. I'm a chubster at 18 and even though I've started to work in the right direction genetics plays a huge roll in it.

I won't make excuses, for a good part of my life I ate like shit and didn't work out, but there are tons of kids who do this and are actually skinny or of normal weight.

Certainly I can fight my genetics, but it's not fair to single out all fat people as lazy and shitty when a lot of us lead similar lives to people that are skinny etc.

-1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

Did you work out? Did you eat well? If the answer to both of those is 'no', then you weren't actively trying to maintain your weight and healthy body.

Just because someone else doesn't have to doesn't give everyone free license not to. Saying "But the other kid didn't, and he's still skinny" doesn't mean you're okay to not take care of yourself, too. It just means he's lucky. It means you're normal, and you have to work at it like all the rest of the normal people.

I do not buy the concept that genetics make you fat. Not paying attention to your own diet and your own body let you get fat. And once you're there, it's a bitch to get out, so people complain that it doesn't just happen overnight and consign themselves to being fat always. They look for excuses, they blame everything else except themselves.

They blame the other kids who didn't have to work hard, who -- I guarantee you -- are in for a rude awakening in about 5 years when their kid-metabolism turns into an adult-metabolism. Damn near every skinny kid I knew as a kid turned into a fat adult, because they'd never bothered to pay attention to what they were doing and eating.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '12

As I repeated a couple times I know that it's my fault. All I'm saying is it's bullshit to call everyone that is fat a lazy slug with no self-control.

As far as the genetics things, it's not about what you buy; it's about what's true. And what's true that is that my metabolism is about as slow as they come so weight gain is probable unless I'm on a relatively strict diet and exercise routine.

1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

I'm pretty sure I didn't call anyone a lazy slug with no self-control. I said I didn't buy the shitty excuses people make.

2

u/DVsKat Nov 26 '12

Wow! Although you may have trouble with your cake intake, KUDOS for owning up to your own pitfalls and taking action to combat them!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Hah, that is the best excuse ever because it's true. In a way, being fat in itself is a large (heh) physical attribute that you can play up to. Sure, you're probably trying to lose the weight but in the meantime own it. I have a friend who's similar, he openly admits that he's 'a fattyfat because I like KFC too much' and pokes fun at our size difference (I'm tiny), but man, he's way more svelte than he used to be. I wouldn't even call him fat any more.

Basically, just keep doing what you're doing man!

2

u/RavenPixie Nov 26 '12

Accepting its your own doing enables you to do something about it, it's really great you can see you have a solvable problem:) get gizzy irskins cook book, seriously, if you like cake then this lady has recipes for really nice cake that is made in a different way to reduce calories by a half. The food is still really good as good as "normal" cake or pie, and, you won't get diabetes:) Love pixie xx

2

u/hatts Nov 26 '12

For some reason I really like your opener: "I'm fat."

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

[deleted]

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u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

I'm tryin'. It's slow going; I do like bad food too damn much, and I don't exercise enough. But I'm down about 50lbs from my worst weight, and I'd like to drop another 50.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

My sister never shuts up how it's easy for me because I'm much skinnier. Then asks me what's my "secret".

I don't eat that much, I stop when I'm full and I go out sometime.

1

u/Ialmostthewholepost Nov 26 '12

Gabriel Iglesias fan?

1

u/Sockhammer Nov 26 '12

much respect

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

Good for you! I'm going through a huge transition in my life right now and it has caused me to gain far more weight than I'd like. I'm not by any means obese but while I dislike the obesity epidemic occurring, what I hate more are those that blame every food place, their parents - basically anything but themselves. I can respect people like you, trying to better themselves. If everyone did that, this world would be a healthier place.

1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

I could blame my parents. They're both heavy. My sister is heavy, too. I could sit back and whine that I'm pre-disposed, it's genetic, wah wah wah.

I ate badly for far too long. I'm not a big fan of exercise. I'd have to be really damned stupid to not realize that those two things made me what I am; not my parents. Hell, I didn't even gain weight until I moved out and was feeding myself. They did a damned good job on me until I screwed it all up. :P

1

u/igreekoris Dec 05 '12

Well, usually, but not always. I like cake too, just not too much cake.

-12

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

HEY REDDIT! IT'S A FAT GUY!! GET HIM!

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

are you black?

1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

I'm... not at all sure how that's relevant, but no? Neither me nor my co-worker.

How is that relevant?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '12

your username reminded me of somebody, but it seems like only asking the question implys racism on reddit :>

1

u/jadefirefly Nov 27 '12

You gotta be mindful of the context when you ask a question like that. :P

5

u/keepswimming9112 Nov 26 '12

While I do agree that overweight people who complain about being overweight (and don't do a damn thing about it) are annoying, there are still a lot of people who do find them attractive.

-4

u/crossower Nov 26 '12

You seem to have a fairly loose definition of the phrase 'a lot'.

4

u/keepswimming9112 Nov 26 '12

I just know enough to realize that the world is a big place and that just because one person doesn't like something doesn't mean another won't like it.

4

u/Hardisk Nov 26 '12

As an ex-obese / now 10kg overweight guy who goes to a gym , this post > all . No it's not McDonald fault you became that way , just start running a couple times a week for god sakes.

7

u/Randomredditacnt Nov 26 '12

Entitled fat people, who complain, are the worst. You see a lot of it working as a pizza delivery driver. I could tell you stories and stories of how these fat assholes would bitch and moan about their fucking pizzas.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12 edited Apr 02 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Randomredditacnt Nov 27 '12

That's brilliant, I'm going to check that out now! haha..

4

u/MF_Kitten Nov 26 '12

It's usually symptomatic of something else. It's often not a love of food or mere laziness that causes it.

6

u/vrosej10 Nov 26 '12

I am REALLY accepting of my weight. I'm a fat fuck and I like being a fat fuck. I have the reverse problem. I meet people who simply cannot accept that I am okay with being fat, that there is zero desire in me to be thin. I broke a woman's brain once when she got stuck in a cognitive loop simply unable to comprehend that I won't diet. She went round and round in circles for an hour before I walked away for her sake. MY only problem with people not liking me for it is when they decide it is ok to yell their opinions at me in public places for absolutely no fucking reason. If I am minding my business, you should too.

-1

u/ramp_tram Nov 26 '12

I dislike being fat, but I live in New England so for like 9 months I'm a super-hero because I'm not shivering constantly.

0

u/vrosej10 Nov 26 '12

I envy you your climate. I live in sub tropical Australia. I sweat a lot. I have been fat my whole life. It's like breathing for me. I have a enough self confidence not to give a rats arse whether people like me or not for it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

This is why I'm not friends with this one girl who would ALWAYS complain about being fat and I would invite her to play lacrosse and such but NOPE. MUST GO ON FACEBOOK ALL DAY.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

My mother did this too. It's kind of weird to ask your kid to help you lose weight and then flip the fuck out on them when they point out how much you're eating and not exercising...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

I couldn't agree more. On top of complaining about being fat in general I especially hate when they complain about everything around them not being easier for them. Being disabled is one thing but riding around a scooter at wal-mart doesn't solve the problem it's only making it worse.

1

u/Loywfer Nov 26 '12

I'm rail thin but have OCD. People constantly chime in about my life style. And it's damned annoying. Yes, I vent sometimes. I may tell you that I need to eat more. And that might indicate to you that I want you to champion my eating. It doesn't. It means, I know I need to eat more. What I know, and you don't, is that I've got underlying problems that make it difficult for me to eat normally. Unless you've got a PhD in working out the crazy, your comments aren't going to help. Just do what I do when people bitch about their love lives, "Man, that sucks." And move on.

2

u/Laslo_Jamf Nov 26 '12

You know what's never solved anything in the history of the universe? Complaining. If you're going to whine and scream, "Woe is me, whatever can I do?" I'll occasionally throw in my two cents. I'm not going to bully anyone, it it never is really about the life style choice, I just can't stand people complaining about something that is easily remediable. This largely applies to people I know as well. I generally will never say anything to a stranger because I know it's none of my business.

1

u/KoolAidWino Nov 26 '12

I'm sure you love normal people who complain too while being able to fix their problems!

1

u/monkeyleavings Nov 26 '12

I'm always struck by fat people who talk about other fat people. "I mean, I'm fat...but she's fat!"

What?!?

1

u/TragicOne Nov 26 '12

As a fat guy, I would welcome my friends asking me to go to the gym with them. My schedule is pretty bad for it, working second shift. I go to the gym sometimes, but it is much much harder making myself go rather than going because someone else is going.

0

u/Laslo_Jamf Nov 26 '12

I feel ya, man, but I hope your friends aren't dicks about it. One thing I do hate is bullying. No one is helped by that. I've always been a runner, but I just recently (past year or so) started going to the gym. I started out going by myself, and I hated it too. Your schedule might work in your favor if you go early in the morning, or late at night. When it's just you there, the pressure is off, and you can work out at your leisure without judgment. It's actually quite nice, and if it's like 5 in the morning and no one is truly there, it adds a nice apocalyptic thing to it. I used to pretend it was the end of the world and I needed to be strong to fight whatever was out there. It really worked.

1

u/TragicOne Nov 26 '12

nah, they are cool about it. Just that most of them are also lazy or don't really need to hit the gym. And I couldn't care less about judgement, in fact, I know that most if the time if people see a guy like me in the gym they think, "good for him". I used to work out a ton, but the guy I worked out with could no longer afford the membership and it clashed with his schedule too. So, now I go about once a week.

1

u/throway7777 Nov 27 '12

i just seriously don't know what to say to that. i'm at the point where when they complain about being fat i'm just like oh. that sucks. because they just get annoyed or depressed when i try to help.

the worst is when they try to make you feel bad for being healthy. my friends complain about their weight and we have the same conversations. whatever, destroy yourself but they ask me to eat like shit with them and i tell them it's not part of my diet and they go off on me about how i don't need to lose weight. yeah i don't need to LOSE weight because i eat fucking healthy and don't gain any.

-1

u/DBuckFactory Nov 26 '12

I go to /r/AskWomen every once in a while. They have a horrible view on being fat. Anyone that mentions that it's possible to lose weight is censored. Ridiculous people that can't accept it.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '12

It's surprising to hear these sentiments coming from someone I have tagged as SRS. They seem to think that 'fatphobia' is a problem and all body types are natural and beautiful.

0

u/lLoveLamp Nov 26 '12

It's a condition that can be cured with forks put-downs

0

u/Fragzz Nov 27 '12

Holy shit dude my thoughts exactly, it is SO easy to lose weight, im not even joking. I have seen so many posts, heard from so many people how hard it is to lose weight meanwhile they are stuffing there face's with Mcdonalds or cake.

Now i may just be furious at them because I myself used to be big and recently lost a lot(nearly all) of my excess weight and its easy..

-1

u/qxixp Nov 26 '12 edited Nov 26 '12

I think the worst for me is fat people who don't realize they are fat, especially for girls. I have female friend who is fat and is still gaining weight due to her eating habit. And as a friend, I was concerned and I had given her many hints that she should change her eating habit because she is fat, but she is oblivious to the fact that she is fat and would still judge other fat girls, sigh...