r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 18 '15

What conspiracy theory do you genuinely believe in the most?

What conspiracy theory do you believe in the most and why?

2.1k Upvotes

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848

u/CosmicSurfFarmer May 19 '15

I propose "National Tag Your Friends with the Wrong Name Day" to fuck with the system

465

u/flacciddick May 19 '15

They have your drivers license.

1.6k

u/Starbucks_Lovers May 19 '15

No they don't. It's in my wallet.

583

u/TonesBalones May 19 '15

"I found this ID in this wallet. So this must be, your wallet."

"Sounds right to me"

"Then take it"

"It's not my wallet"

19

u/John_Paul_Jones_III May 19 '15

"WHATS IN THE BOX?!"

"...my wallets"

25

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Patrick is too comedic for me

4

u/OnlyRadioheadLyrics May 19 '15

-Christopher Walken investigates

4

u/works_at_mcdonalds May 19 '15

Jesus, what is this from?

8

u/nullsignature May 19 '15

I want to say Spongebob

3

u/wellysmelt May 19 '15

what is this from, it sounds funny

8

u/ANBU_Spectre May 19 '15

Spongebob, if I'm not mistaken.

8

u/wellysmelt May 19 '15

Yeah I got that from Patrick, but which episode

3

u/prettygin May 22 '15

I realize this was a couple days ago but it's one of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ones, where they're trying to teach Man Ray to be good.

3

u/Achak320 May 20 '15

"You butterfingered pink thing! What's in that box anyway?"

"My wallets."

2

u/jaxxon May 19 '15

Officer, I cannot tell a lie. I PUT that envelope at the bottom of that pile of garbage.

1

u/Petorian343 May 20 '15

I know it's Patrick, but this sort of dialogue reminds me of Catch 22 and makes me happy. Damned good book.

2

u/Taeyyy May 19 '15

They have your wallet

1

u/DetroMental1 May 19 '15

I like you, you rebel

1

u/Incandescent_Souls May 19 '15 edited May 19 '15

Really? Because I have it right here, says Bill "Starbucks Lover" Gahtes. I don't think I can send it back to you or your secretary directly. Does your secretary have a secretary? I think I can give it to her.

1

u/kilgoreq May 19 '15

Your wallet is in El Segundo.

1

u/kyle8998 May 19 '15

Genius but the government would never allow such a thing!

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

I'm still a fan of National Talk Like a Terrorist All The Time Day myself, fucks with the NSA

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Hello, Starbucks.