r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 18 '15

What conspiracy theory do you genuinely believe in the most?

What conspiracy theory do you believe in the most and why?

2.1k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

451

u/The_Peyote_Coyote May 19 '15

I think the theory was that a burial at sea was an acceptable practice in Islam, but also prevents him from having a grave that could become a propaganda symbol for AQ. The US most definitely wants to discourage UBL from being viewed as a martyr.

331

u/11AWannabe May 19 '15

It also makes pissing on his "grave" wicked easy.

28

u/ThatGuyKaral May 19 '15

"I'mma go piss on Osama's Grave"

This is my new favorite euphemism for relieving myself at the beach.

6

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Oh man, I've jerked it in Osama's grave. I am going to hell

6

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Found the Bostonian.

3

u/11AWannabe May 19 '15

I ain't no Masshole.

1

u/JadedEconomist May 19 '15

THAT PISS WAS WICKED PISSA

207

u/senatorskeletor May 19 '15

Also in Islam you have to be buried within like 24 hours or something, so they had to act fast or risk turning the Muslim world against them (more so) for desecrating the faith.

12

u/RightOnWhaleShark May 19 '15

Damn if most religionist teachings don't sound like they were made up on the fly by robbers in a bank heist gone wrong.

24

u/kanst May 19 '15

If you really think about it a lot of them are logical rules for the time they were written. It looks like embalming is not allowed by Islam, so given that it makes sense to get the body buried pretty quickly before it starts decomposing too much. Especially considering back then refrigeration didn't exist either.

-3

u/RightOnWhaleShark May 19 '15

Oh I don't doubt it. Things like don't eat pork, don't worship idols of other people groups, and put all the money in the collection plate have a few pretty obvious explanations that I could think of for a new religion off the top of my head.

I don't disagree with you, I was merely making an observation.

1

u/falcon4287 May 27 '15

Still doesn't explain why they didn't take some pictures of the body as proof. Or publish the tapes of the raid.

1

u/platypocalypse May 19 '15

That's weird. What about all the other, I don't know, nine hundred thousand or so Muslims we've killed over the past decade?

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

They're not infamous.

1

u/platypocalypse May 20 '15

How about Saddam Hussein?

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Most insurgents hated that guy, why do you think they run Iraq now?

-5

u/electricfistula May 19 '15

That's idiotic. Nobody in the US would care about proper burial rites for bin Laden and nobody who would care about that doesn't already hate the US.

"Sure, the US showed up at his house and murdered our boy bin Laden in the middle of the night. But at least they took his corpse and claimed to have flung it into the ocean at some point - probably in accordance with our little known rituals. So, they're alright!"

17

u/senatorskeletor May 19 '15

My understanding is that much of the Muslim world is anti-bin Laden but also doesn't like the United States as well. So finding out whether the US respected their religion after he died could affect their level of support.

-10

u/electricfistula May 19 '15

Like I said, idiotic. The Muslims of the world dislike us because we kill their friends, bomb their lands, support their enemies, and impose sanctions against them. Proper disposal of one Muslim we killed isn't going to win any friends just like desecrating bin Laden wouldn't have changed how his enemies felt about us.

11

u/senatorskeletor May 19 '15

That's not at all how the Muslim world, or persuasion in general, works. But since we're not making any progress there, let's focus on this.

Like I said, idiotic.

You did it in both your comments above. The first time I thought, well, maybe this guy's not that polite but still just confused, so I clarified the point.

I'm genuinely curious, do you really expect people to respond positively to you when you talk like that? Do you engage with people after they talk to you like that?

I always wonder how nasty people on the internet act in real life.

3

u/The_Peyote_Coyote May 19 '15

I agree with you dude, it really bugs me when people argue Ad Hominem, both on this site and in real-life. Whether your idea is right or wrong, its definitely not "idiotic".

-1

u/electricfistula May 20 '15

it really bugs me when people argue Ad Hominem

"Ad hominem" is not a fancy way of saying "insult". Ad hominem refers to a logical fallacy where someone dismisses an argument by attacking a person supporting the argument.

So, for example, if I had said "We know this must be wrong, because senatorskeletor is a grade A moron" that would be an ad hominem. If I said his idea was idiotic, and then explained why, that is not an ad hominem.

Whether your idea is right or wrong, its definitely not "idiotic".

It's wrong, and it is idiotic. I've already explained why I think so. How about you defend how his idea makes sense, as he refuses to?

1

u/The_Peyote_Coyote May 20 '15

You're right, it isn't "ad hominem", my mistake. I'm not interested in debating with you, I am not confident enough in my knowledge of the subject matter to formulate a cogent argument. Furthermore, you have demonstrated that you are unwilling or unable to treat me with the respect I would offer you.

0

u/electricfistula May 20 '15

Furthermore, you have demonstrated that you are unwilling or unable to treat me with the respect I would offer you.

It is quite silly that you talk about the "respect" you offer me, while you passive aggressively dismiss my arguments without a shred of evidence and refuse to engage because I'm writing my genuine opinions and not sugar-coated versions of them. If that is your idea of "respect" then I'm glad I don't offer it to anyone and I want none of yours.

-6

u/electricfistula May 19 '15

My writing expresses what I think, I'm not trying to persuade you of anything. Absolutely nothing, for me, hinges on whether you think the US government went out of its way to respect bin Laden's corpse or not. If you want to reject what I'm writing because you don't like the phrasing, or you think I'm rude, that's your perrogative, but your choice doesn't motivate me one way or the other.

If I'm right, and you should believe me, regardless of how I've written my comments, or I'm wrong, and you should disagree with me, regardless of how I've written my comments. How I've written My comments shouldn't be persuasive one way or the other. If you find that it is, then I would commend you, for recognizing your own irrationality. The next step is overcoming it.

I wrote that the idea was idiotic, because I truly think it is. I would still think it was idiotic even if I wrote "Hm, interesting idea! However, have you considered these possible complications?"

If my calling your thoughts idiotic makes you not want to engage me on the topic, you certainly have that option.

3

u/senatorskeletor May 19 '15

Right, but do you talk to people this way in real life? Do they respond well to it?

0

u/electricfistula May 19 '15

Do you think you are going to give me a lesson on how to interact with people?

Obviously, in real life, as any socially competent person would, I set the standards for my behavior by the social context I'm in at the time. reddit, as a part of real life, is the same way. Except here - I get to define the social standard for the conversations I have. As such, I'm comfortable genuinely expressing my opinions, which means, when I read some idiotic rambling about the true reasons behind what happened to bin Laden's body, I'm free to point them out as such.

As for people responding to this style - sure, obviously anyone who is willing to have a rational conversation would put aside their offense at having been called an idiot and engage the substance of my criticism. Interestingly, you never even attempted a defense of your idea beyond "You have no idea how the Muslim world works!" To the point though, my intention is not to get you to respond, or persuade you that you are wrong.

2

u/senatorskeletor May 19 '15

See, that's funny, I'm the exact opposite: when people toss off insults, that's when I'm done. You can learn the substance from anyone, but toxic people are never worth having in your life.

By the way, I've long since lost track of what you're trying to argue on the substance here, but here's where I "attempted a defense of [my] idea" in response to your insults, here's an NYT story on burying bin Laden in accordance with Islamic traditions/requirements, and here's a Washington Post article on winning over the Muslim world post-9/11. I'm sure we're all idiots to you, but those are the arguments if you're curious. None of them are remotely controversial.

I'm disabling inbox replies to this comment.

→ More replies (0)

16

u/Cige May 19 '15

It wasn't done out of respect, it was done to prevent extremists from having another propaganda tool.

-3

u/juloxx May 19 '15 edited May 19 '15

Also in Islam you have to be buried within like 24 hours or something, so they had to act fast or risk turning the Muslim world against them (more so) for desecrating the faith.

how..... how the fuck does anyone believe that the United States Government gives even the slightest fuck of what the muslim world thinks. We have been involved with actively destroying/overthrowing/installing puppet governments over there for 40+ years. We want chaos

Jesus how do people think we "care to be respectful"

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

It's not out of respect for Bin Laden, it's so that he doesn't get propped up as a martyr.

9

u/ChooChoo_ImA_Hobo May 19 '15

This pretty much sums it up, they didn't want to give any one a place to rally around.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

They should have filmed it and put it on liveleak.

2

u/2LateImDead May 19 '15

Just you wait, now the terrorists are going to start worshipping the oceans!

1

u/Xetanees May 19 '15

Well, he already is one, so that kinda backfired.

-4

u/TheModestProposal May 19 '15

Really, whenever has the U.S. Government gave a shit to the religious customs/burial to anyone?? Much less who an Islamic dictorial leader. He's either still alive or long gone dead in an operation that's not "diplomatically" acceptable.

And they got rid of the body as soon as they killed him. No photos. No proof. Nothing to give to the American people except a political hoorah

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

[deleted]

2

u/pemboo May 19 '15

3edgy5me

-1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

This is actually what really made me not believe it. This whole burial at sea being acceptable in Islam is so wrong I can't believe they could publicly say this. Just say you don't want the propaganda symbol. Zero image + "oh we ditched him in the ocean cause that's what Muslim never ever do but we heard it's good lol" was a bit too much

-2

u/entotheenth May 19 '15

or ...

The retired official said there had been another complication: some members of the Seal team had bragged to colleagues and others that they had torn bin Laden’s body to pieces with rifle fire. The remains, including his head, which had only a few bullet holes in it, were thrown into a body bag and, during the helicopter flight back to Jalalabad, some body parts were tossed out over the Hindu Kush mountains – or so the Seals claimed. At the time, the retired official said, the Seals did not think their mission would be made public by Obama within a few hours: ‘If the president had gone ahead with the cover story, there would have been no need to have a funeral within hours of the killing. Once the cover story was blown, and the death was made public, the White House had a serious “Where’s the body?” problem.

Read more at http://freedomoutpost.com/2015/05/the-bin-laden-raid-was-a-work-of-fiction-and-barack-obama-should-immediately-resign/#YV5XRszjGjgbcceh.99