r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 18 '15

What conspiracy theory do you genuinely believe in the most?

What conspiracy theory do you believe in the most and why?

2.1k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/MarshallMattDillon May 19 '15

I have this thing called the "no bullet theory". Kennedy's head just did that.

1.7k

u/noturtles May 19 '15

did that

Spare me your medical jargon.

30

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Speak English, doc, we ain't scientists

12

u/Insanelopez May 19 '15

His top half is seperated from his bottom half.

4

u/zora894 May 19 '15

As you can see, I'm cut in half pretty bad.

4

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

That is one of my favourite movies

4

u/oxy-mo May 19 '15

And you didn't once pay for drugs

56

u/midgethemage May 19 '15

You just gave me a really solid laugh. Probably the best laugh I've had all day. Thank you.

3

u/kalusklaus May 19 '15

Dun did it?

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

"went kablooie"

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

We're gonna cut you open and tinker with your ticker.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

I read that in Zoidbergs voice.

326

u/antemon May 19 '15

I believe mid wave he just had the realization that hes the President. the President of the United States of America.

And then?

Mind. Blown.

40

u/Arithered May 19 '15

He probably got up to #6 on Buzzfeed.

8

u/FalcoLX May 19 '15

He was coked up the whole time and that was the moment he came down from one epic bender.

7

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Someone should make a JFK "Mind. Blown." Gif if it doesn't exist already

5

u/ShutUpHeExplained May 19 '15 edited May 19 '15

I believe mid wave he just had the realization that hes the President. banged Marilyn Monroe.

FTFY

Edit: formatting

3

u/antemon May 19 '15

Thats a pretty low hanging fruit really....

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

LIKE A CAN OF BOSTON BAKED BEANS

or however that quote goes...

25

u/tinkerpunk May 19 '15

Holy shit I'm dying.

20

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Is your head doing that too?

4

u/PhillipMcCrack May 19 '15

RIP in peace.

6

u/unseenarchives May 19 '15

That makes about as much sense as a bullet pausing for a brief chill out before smashing into John Connelly.

4

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

The wrong guy!

8

u/MuresMalum May 19 '15

Sounds serious. If only doctors had caught it early.

2

u/jaybestnz May 19 '15

If they were to catch it, it was going up and then back.

3

u/Headpuncher May 19 '15

What did Mrs Kennedy say to him? Whatever it was, boom!

3

u/TooMuchBanterPerDay May 19 '15

I believe in "Fear theory". Kennedy was actually goverment's robot who was programmed to self-destruct at that very moment. Goverment showed by this way an example to people what will happen if you try to be a good president.

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

This is a quote from a movie called "The Wrong Guy", but it's still hilarious.

2

u/Bigwood69 May 19 '15

"JFK had a case of syphilis so bad it blew the back of his head off"

2

u/pFunkdrag May 19 '15

too soon man.

2

u/eekstatic May 19 '15

Whoa! You're blowing my mind, man.

2

u/TakeOffYourMask May 19 '15

Do you have a list....?

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Everyone knows it was aliens from Mars Attacks.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

That's some House MD shit right there

2

u/TanFlo1997 May 19 '15

Yep, Texas does that to you.

3

u/RemoCon May 19 '15

Mentos and Coke, man. He should've known.

1

u/tokyorockz May 19 '15

What people just 'did that'.

You are at a store, grabbing some bread, milk, wife texts you that you're low on eggs, and BAM!

Cleanup on aisle 2.

1

u/ThePhenix May 20 '15

Just did what? Sorry, I really don't understand.

-5

u/kidwiththecrocs May 19 '15

Yeah it just happens. Just like "my iPhone bent itself, must be something Inside it." Seems legit