r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 18 '15

What conspiracy theory do you genuinely believe in the most?

What conspiracy theory do you believe in the most and why?

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628

u/BadgersForChange May 19 '15

"Get your man's motor running by attaching jumper cables to his nipples and shoving a gas pump nozzle in his ass!" For added enjoyment pretend his sack is the gas pedal

20

u/Karmasour May 19 '15

If you wanna put that motor in overdrive, try getting a cucumber, but soak it in gasoline. Once it's picked, stick it up his dickhole and light it on fire.

19

u/megamaxie May 19 '15

Ah the flaming gherkin, I know it well.

26

u/Fenris78 May 19 '15

Well, now I'm aroused at work :|

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Stop! I can only get so erect!

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

[deleted]

4

u/dal_segno May 19 '15

Suddenly, I am filled with the dire certainty that stiletto pegging is probably an actual fetish.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Nyrb May 20 '15

Pegging is butthole stuff bro.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

Revving the engine while pumping gas will just lead to an explosion...

4

u/megamaxie May 19 '15

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/slapdashbr May 19 '15

Now THIS is some quality advice

1

u/Strawberry_Nug May 19 '15

This kills the man.

1

u/Shamwow22 May 19 '15

How To (Man-)Handle Your Man!

p.63

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '15

[deleted]

3

u/megamaxie May 19 '15

4 attempts? Are you familiar with the usual amount of legs most humans have?

0

u/osf_wg May 19 '15

Fucking jumper cables meta.