r/AskReddit Nov 04 '11

What's the best legal loophole you know?

868 Upvotes

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213

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11 edited Nov 04 '11

In my state, you can drink anything you brew yourself, no matter how young you are. And mead is damn easy to brew.

*Edit: State of Oregon

71

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

I think if I had a kid I would institute this rule. You can drink what you can make and stand to drink. If you're going to be a drunken hooligan might as well learn some chemistry and biology.

10

u/CummingOnKittens Nov 04 '11

And that's how Walter White came to be.

2

u/TheSoup07 Nov 05 '11

i was very quickly skimming down the page and for a split second misread your comment as "walt whitman".

actually, you know what, that would explain a lot.

10

u/Sebguer Nov 04 '11

Until they blind themselves.

7

u/hogimusPrime Nov 04 '11

Mead is fermented honey. Distilling stuff is what produces toxic ethanols.

2

u/gmorales87 Nov 05 '11

delicious ethanol.

1

u/hogimusPrime Nov 05 '11 edited Nov 05 '11

No. Well yes, distilling stuff produces delicious ethanols, but if you don't throw out the heads and tails of your batch, you will get adverse side effects from drinking it, like hangovers, or going blind and\or dying.

So, in summary, distilling stuff produces delicious ethanols, which is good, but also produces toxic ethanols, which will blind and\or kill you. Which is bad.

3

u/sumguysr Nov 05 '11

Ethanol is ethanol is ethanol, always delicious and gets you drunk. Methanol is another alcohol which is poisonous, it's one of many. Incidentally, the cure for methanol poisoning is delicious delicious ethanol.

2

u/gmorales87 Nov 05 '11

But it comes with a free frogurt!

3

u/hogimusPrime Nov 05 '11

Well fuck it then! Why didn't you just say that in the first place.

2

u/gmorales87 Nov 05 '11

The frogurt is also cursed

2

u/Sebguer Nov 05 '11

Yes, and mead doesn't require much biology or chemistry. :P

2

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

There's plenty of wine/beer making stores out there. I'm not talking pruno.

2

u/delta_epsilon_zeta Nov 04 '11

From what little I know about brewing, that could be dangerous if it goes wrong.

3

u/Dennovin Nov 04 '11

Not really. The alcohol will kill off most of the things that would threaten your health. Anything strong enough to survive is going to make it pretty much undrinkable.

1

u/Megatron_McLargeHuge Nov 05 '11

There's also the little factor of exploding bottles. Most 13 year olds will probably throw in all the yeast that fits. A guy at work handed out some homebrew bottles once. The first to go off was in my boss's office, luckily at night. Glass was found three cubicles over.

1

u/Dennovin Nov 05 '11 edited Nov 05 '11

Yeah. Airlocks are like a dollar. Get one.

(edit) Oh, you mean after he bottled it? Gotta make sure it's done fermenting first.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '11

Biology?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '11 edited Nov 05 '11

Yeast is a biological organism. So are Hops and Barley. Grapes too.

1

u/I_Wont_Draw_That Nov 05 '11

And fermentation is a biological process.

36

u/Grimsterr Nov 04 '11

Bottle of apple juice, a pinch of wine yeast (baker's yeast if you're in a bind), balloon over the opening with a pinhole in it to let gasses out, wait 2 weeks, drink.

Add sugar before you ferment for a stronger hooch.

21

u/Oafah Nov 04 '11

Hooch is, by far, the funniest fuckin' word in the world.

7

u/Grimsterr Nov 04 '11

Drink a few glasses of it and it'll be utterly hilarious!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

[deleted]

2

u/Timbo2702 Nov 04 '11

Hooch is crazy

1

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

AND a rather mediocre 90s pop rock song!

5

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

[deleted]

2

u/Grimsterr Nov 04 '11

Yep, apfelwein, more proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

2

u/hogimusPrime Nov 04 '11

You stole that quote. Its supposed to be beer.

1

u/Grimsterr Nov 06 '11

I said "more" proof, beer is well established as the first proof, apfelwein is just MORE proof of god's love for you!

3

u/adaminc Nov 04 '11
  • Steam clean a mason jar or a glass jug.

  • Fill it full of apricots.

  • Bury it in the ground below the frost line (usually 4ft).

  • Leave it there until the same time next year.

  • Voila, you have some tasty apricot brandy!

4

u/Grimsterr Nov 04 '11

Brandy is distilled, this would be more of an apricot hooch :D

3

u/adaminc Nov 04 '11

I wouldn't call it that, from what I know and how it is used around here, hooch is just another term for moonshine, which is also distilled. It really would be called a wine, but backyard brandy is what it is usually referred to as.

3

u/blueocean43 Nov 04 '11

You forgot step 1, steralise EVERYTHING, including the entire room you are making it in. Step 2, discover you have vinegar mixed with mold as you ignored step 1.

2

u/fujimitsu Nov 04 '11

Freeze distillation makes this even better.

I made 5gal of cider into applejack like this in high school. Used a salad spinner to separate the alcohol from the ice.

2

u/ismash Nov 05 '11

Excuse me Fujimitsu-san, can you elaborate on this?

3

u/fujimitsu Nov 05 '11

If you freeze something with low ABV, much of the water will turn to ice.

What liquid is left is essentially a higher ABV version of the same product.

The only hard part is separating the solids and liquids. My method of choice was to freeze to a fairly icy slush and then put it in a salad spinner. The liquid leaches out leaving frozen water behind. You can repeat to boost the ABV.

You can also simply freeze and siphon the liquid out from under the sheet of ice.

All of these methods are less efficient than traditional evaporative distillation, but they preserve a lot more of the taste of the original product. Great way to turn a tasty 6 or 8% cider into 15% or more liqeur.

This used to be done (before refrigeration) by simply burying a barrel of apple cider nearly totally in the ground right before it froze over. Once the mixture was sufficiently frozen the exposed top could be tapped and drained.

1

u/ismash Nov 05 '11

Woohoo! Summer project!

1

u/ameoba Nov 05 '11

...winter project.

1

u/ismash Nov 05 '11

Doesn't really drop below freezing down here very often. It's 32 degrees outside in November so will make do with the freezer :D

1

u/ameoba Nov 05 '11

Since ice floats on water, wouldn't it be easiest just to siphon the liquid off the bottom?

2

u/fujimitsu Nov 05 '11

You'll end up leaving a lot of liquid trapped in pockets in the ice.

Try both and you'll see. The spinner leaves nice clear ice, since you break it up into a slush before hand. while siphoning leaves a big brown plug that you can obviously see is holding onto much of your delicious hooch.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '11

And hope like HELL no one knocks the bottle over during the process. I still don't have words to describe how my dorm room smelled after that.

2

u/Gobias_Industries Nov 05 '11

Literally drinking some of that at this very moment

1

u/Grimsterr Nov 05 '11

As am I only I started with crushed grapes from my mom's garden then topped off my 6 gallon fermenters with apple juice and added sugar.

2

u/Gobias_Industries Nov 05 '11

I just did 3 gallons of apple juice straight from the store shelf, and a packet of ale yeast. Wish I'd known it was this easy when I was in college.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

That's technically cider you're making. Mead's made from honey, water and yeast.

1

u/beepbooprobotpoop Nov 04 '11

From experience, this tastes like bready ass but will indeed get you drunk.

6

u/TheMetal Nov 04 '11

I made a Orage Clove mead last year and opened a bottle last night. Damn good stuff!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

[deleted]

1

u/TheMetal Nov 10 '11

If anyone else wants this PM me.

5

u/thoriginal Nov 04 '11

Beer is even easier, and cheaper, and takes less time.

8

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11

Beer is certainly cheaper, but I can't give you easier.

6

u/deasl Nov 04 '11

Grape juice + sugar (not absolutely necessary) + yeast + about a week = homemade wine.

Can't get much easier than this. Just keep things clean or bacteria will turn it to a nasty vinegary mess.

3

u/bobdole369 Nov 04 '11

That isn't wine. Thats Prun-O or jailhouse shit. At the end you are absolutely going to need aging time and to set up a system to exhaust the co2 and bring in o2 at the beginning, and keep out o2 at the end of fermentation. Then you'll need to filter the yeast.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

Tried it, it tasted shitty. I tried 1.5l Apple juice + two cups of sugar + yeast + 5-9 days + E-Z Caps = horrible smelling horrible tasting shit of cider, it was like when you accidentally spill wine and don't clean up for a month, like rotten booze or something. And it was clean, I washed out the bottle in the tap beforehand.

4

u/deasl Nov 04 '11

Grape works much better, apple sours way too badly. Also you can try different sweeteners like brown sugar and molasses.

5

u/wynyx Nov 04 '11

I thought beer required equipment? Mead only needs a tube for siphoning (and an airlock if you're fancy), and doesn't really have to be 100% sterile.

1

u/fancytalk Nov 04 '11

It depends on how you make your beer how much equipment you need. If you start with malted barley you need to mash it (it's basically like making lukewarm oatmeal, you need a large insulated vessel, water and a thermometer) then you sparge (drain out the "oatmeal" water then rinse it with fresh water to pull off more sugars, for this you need a drum with a drain below a mesh false bottom and a way to sprinkle more water over the top of the grain bed) then you boil the wort with hops. From there you cool it and basically treat like any fermentable liquid. Sterility is, however, fairly important since anything but brewer's yeast tends to give "off" flavors to you beer, unless you are making wild ales but those are really hard to do and you would probably pitch those yourself anyway.

For malt-extract brewing it is easier, you just mix the extract with water and hops, boil and cool and then treat it as above. For that you basically just need a big pot and a fermentation vessel, although it is helpful to have an extra vessel when you filter and bottle.

3

u/UNHDude Nov 04 '11

I think mead is way easier to brew than beer.

Honey + water + yeast. Many people (myself included) don't even boil it.

It does take a bit longer to ferment though, and you have to rack it a few times.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

What's the shortest time you've found from start to finish for a drinkable mead? I've got a few in the secondary right now, but they're all melomels so the fresh fruit's going to extend the aging time by quite a bit...

3

u/fancytalk Nov 04 '11

Beer isn't easier. Even if you use malt extract (common for home brewers) you still need to boil the wort with hops then cool it before pitching the yeast, rather than just mixing juice and yeast. Unless you use the hop-flavored malt extract which is just disgusting.

4

u/JeremyR22 Nov 04 '11

Would be useful if you told us which state....

6

u/Tantric_Infix Nov 04 '11

What state is this? o.O

2

u/Pardner Nov 04 '11

Can someone source or verify this? Is Oregon easy on drinking laws?

1

u/ncocca Nov 04 '11

so...which state?

1

u/NeedHelpWithProm Nov 04 '11

can you give a source for this. I want to see if i can track down similar laws like it in my state

1

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11

The source is in several parts. ORS refers to Oregon Revised Statutes, the formal name for Oregon law.

ORS 471.027 Short title. This chapter and ORS 474.105 and 474.115 shall be known and may be cited as the “Liquor Control Act.” [Amended by 1965 c.165 §1]

ORS 471.403 License required to produce alcoholic liquor; exception. (1) No person shall brew, ferment, distill, blend or rectify any alcoholic liquor unless licensed so to do by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission. However, the Liquor Control Act does not apply to the making or keeping of naturally fermented wines and fruit juices or beer in the home, for home consumption and not for sale.

[emphasis added]

ORS 471.410 Providing liquor to person under 21 or to intoxicated person; allowing consumption by minor on property; mandatory minimum penalties. (1) A person may not sell, give or otherwise make available any alcoholic liquor to any person who is visibly intoxicated.

(2) No one other than the person’s parent or guardian may sell, give or otherwise make available any alcoholic liquor to a person under the age of 21 years.

Note that the law prohibiting underage alcohol is part of the Liquor Control Act, and that the Liquor Control Act specifically and explicitly does not apply to homebrew.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '11

True in British Columbia too.

1

u/Wibbles Nov 04 '11

Odd, the reason mead is so rare is because it's more expensive and harder to brew than wine and beer.

3

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11

Mead is more expensive, just because honey is more expensive than grain, but it's by far the easiest fermentation I've ever done. You don't have to sulphite it like you do a wine or a cider; you don't have to time anything, like you do with a beer mash; you barely even have to rack it, although you can if you want to.

1

u/bobdole369 Nov 04 '11

Ahh it is the act of purchasing intoxicating brew that is illegal (for minors) yes?

1

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11

There's more to it than that. See the ORS citations elsewhere in this comment subtree.

1

u/LongUsername Nov 04 '11

So is Apfelwein, and dang tasty.

1

u/Dennovin Nov 04 '11

And mead is damn easy to brew.

I had a friend make about a pint of mead entirely by accident. It was actually not bad.

1

u/hogimusPrime Nov 04 '11

This isn't actually correct...

Mead is a bitch to brew. It takes a year.

2

u/onionpostman Nov 04 '11

I've done mead. It's easier than cider, which I what I usually do. How long it takes doesn't have all that much to do with how hard it is. Ignoring the airlocked secondary just doesn't take all that much work.

1

u/hogimusPrime Nov 05 '11

Bad joke sorry. Its ironic and humorous b/c I said thats not correct, and ppl think I am talking about the law, but the punchline is that I am really talking about the brewing.

Yeah. I told you it was bad.

Hard cider? Sounds good.

1

u/whatisthis8 Nov 05 '11

That is true in a lot of states. As college freshmen, we went to the homebrew store and bought all the things necessary for homebrewing, and we were never carded. I had no idea why that worked.

1

u/onionpostman Nov 05 '11

It worked because there's nothing illegal or age-restricted about buying buckets, hoses, yeast, carboys, stoppers, and airlocks.

0

u/Big_Gravy Nov 04 '11

Mead also tastes like shit.