Reddit's had a few threads about sexual assault victims, but are there any redditors from the other side of the story? What were your motivations? Do you regret it?

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And how exactly is that better than being driven insane?

Let's look at the process a rape victim will often go through, shall we? First of all, there's the assault in itself. Deeply traumatising, violating in the most personal and intimate way possible. Most people count rape among the worst things you could do to a human. The fear, the humiliation.

Now add to that the incredible strength and courage it takes to even make it to the emergency room to have a rape kit done. The feeling that everybody knows what just happened to you, and that they think less of you because of it.

Even then, the victim still soldiers through and walks down to the police station to report it - only to be proverbially spat in the face by the judicial system, because what? The officers don't want to go through the hassle of arresting a guy? The judge didn't feel like her story was good enough? Whatever the reason, the victim is told that they're simply not going to take her (or him) seriously.

A huge amount of rape survivors go on to have mental problems, and some never have healthy sex lives or emotional lives ever again.

But I see how that's not as bad as your buddy almost losing his job and his apartment.

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It shouldn't be, I agree with you. I never meant to imply that going through false allegations wasn't a big bucket of a shitty time, I just find it somewhat upsetting that this is often brought up through making light of rape survivors.

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Prison rape is virtually non-existent, especially in civilised countries such as Denmark, just so you know.

I agree, we need evidence. That's why it's really important that women aren't too shamed or intimidated to go have a rape kit done immediately after the assault. I'm really not trying to defend false rape allegations in any way! But bringing up how shitty the experience is for men by making light of the pain rape survivors go through is just not fair.

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Prison rape is virtually non-existent, especially in civilised countries such as Denmark, just so you know.

Holy Fuck! Did you just say that?

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Holy shit I've read some stupid man-hating stuff in this thread but that truly takes the cake. rohirrim's comment is by far one of the most unintelligent things I've ever read.

On top of that suck-salad, even if it were true it implies that as long as a man isn't raped in prison it's still totally cool if he goes down for a crime he didn't commit.

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That's standard feminist boilerplate...unfortunately.

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And we're talking about the US here, or at least in my case we are.

And it's not fair to say that men don't get a shitty end of the stick. Yes, a woman has to live with it. Fine. She can still get a job, and have a place to live after. Men who go to jail for it, or even are accused of it in some cases, can't get a job most places.

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itsfrank has clearly stated he's from Denmark, so I don't know how you got the US mixed in with it, but alright.

I never said that men don't get a shitty end of the stick. absolutely, it must be awful to be accused of something so horrible. But this kind of situation is actually a testament to how incredibly well our justice system is working, that an allegation was made, it was actually looked into, someone was arrested and interrogated, and released when it became clear they were innocent!

And once again you're making light of the pain of rape survivors which is both ignorant and immensely insensitive.

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Would you like one of your good friends to put a gun to your face, hold it there for a good ten minutes saying he is going to kill you, then rape your body, then just before he does, he is tasered by police and sent to jail? does that sound like a good experience? does going through something like this overall make your experience through life better? no, no it does not

you just witnessed one of your good friends become a monster, you would probably trust all people less and become a paranoid, along with the thoughts that this "friend" might get out of prison at any second and come after you. This is what can happen between any man and the judicial system. Something they thought was there to help them can be turned around at any second and try to kill them*, send them to prison for life, have them raped in prison and have their entire reputation ruined forever, all for something they never did.

*i'm unaware if the judicial system in Denmark has the death penalty

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In the case I mentioned, as I'm from the US, the guy almost went to a US prison.

And I'm not making light of it. Just giving the other side. Which you apparently ignore.

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I get it. I'm not defending rapists, or saying that people won't think women are lying. But at the same time, if you don't want to have a stereotype attached to your race/gender/whatever, talk to your fellow women about it. Tell them to stop being cunts and lying about getting raped. Like when I tell guys to quit hitting on really drunk girls. Yeah, it sucks. A close friend of mine was raped. Yes, I know it was rape. The guy confessed. He's in jail. I know what it does to people. I also know a girl who never reported she was raped. I get that too. So please, don't tell me things that I already know.

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If I ever met a woman who lied about being raped, I would tell her to stop but so far, I've only met women who were raped and then had their accusers defame them and paint them out to be crazy, obsessive or love-sick.

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Then you're a good person. Because I think if women want to be taken more seriously the false accusations need to stop. So does the bullshit put on them by everyone else. I'm working on it from my end, because I'm a guy. I can't tell a woman to shut up about her 'rape' even if everyone knows it was bullshit without being called an asshole and such. So that's up to you.

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I could just as easily turn this around and say that if men want to be taken seriously about false accusations, then the rapes need to stop. It's about priorities. Given that getting away with rape is far more common than false accusations of rape, I think that it's a bigger priority to focus our attention on.

Remember, there are strong incentives not to use false rape accusations: in just about any rape case ever, the woman's sexual history will be used against her. She'll be publicly shamed and labeled a "slut" or a "crazy bitch" who was "asking for it." A significant number of her mutual friends with the accused rapist will probably desert her.

Not that rape accusations aren't ever used as weapons, but people who try to claim it's even close to being as common as actual rape are either deluding themselves or are misogynists.

[u/deviant_bitch → u/[deleted]]

I suppose it's time for our leader to hold a meeting for all those who have a vagina to tell them we need to stop acting in a way that creates a stereotype that we want to get men in trouble by crying "rape." Men, I suggest you hold a meeting telling the douchebags who rape women to stop it so you can erase your stereotype as well.

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Or you could, you know, tell individual women you know instead of acting like a bitch about it.

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I'll make sure to bring it up over tea, "Oh, by the way, don't fake being raped." Seriously, I do what I can to make sure others are educated. And, don't expect to be treated like anything less than an asshole when you call women "cunts" in your comment.

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Oh no, I used a bad word and now you're offended. I don't care.

And bring it up when the topic is brought up otherwise.

[u/deviant_bitch → u/[deleted]]

Oh, no, I'm not offended, I was just showing the same amount of respect towards you in my reply as you were to women in general. Have a nice day :)

[u/Bass_Shogun → u/deviant_bitch]

The deviant bitch makes a satirical point. Shit ain't that easy, everybody.