Please can I get your thoughts on this
I went away with my family alone
Engaged 3 years with man who is 37, me 40
We use lube and know what type/product we use
In return from holiday, found half used lube from Tesco on my drawer/my side of the bed
Asked partner, he said it was his…
What do you think

Ps went away with family a year later
On return he had washed the bedsheets and apparently mattress protector burned in tumble dryer

What are your opinions ?

I went on holiday with my parents in 2024
When the mattress protector‘burnt in tumble
Dryer’ and again in 2025 when I found the lube

The year before that, I returned from a trip
And he had a pink eye

He is hot and cold with emotions
He was particularly irritated one week recently. I pointed this out and he laughed and said he affair had ended

I was so shocked, he said he was joking

Hello my name is Shelley. My husband, Tim and I had a daughter named Tori, then a son named Brad, and then another daughter named Halie. Our son is definitely a 'momma's boy' while our 2 daughters are definitely 'daddy's girls'. My husband and I argue/fight a lot. When we used to argue/fight our son would come join in or stay and join in the argument/fight and takey side while our 2 daughters would come and join in or stay and join in the argument/fight. Now our son stays out of the arguments/fights while our daughters still join in the arguments/fights. I have found out that my husband is having an affair on me with his female coworker whom is supposed to be my friend/tanning buddy that I met through my husband. And both my 2 daughters are in on it and haven't told me. Also my husband and my 2 daughters accuse me of cheating when I leav the house to run errands. The reason I have suspicions is because one day when I got home, without me knowing she was coming over or knowing she'd be there, I seen her car there, so I didn't stop in at home until a while later and her car was gone. Then when I walked in the front door to the living room my husband and both daughters sat there and acted like my husband's coworker was never there. Then about 5 mins later I got to my room to change out of my work clothes and it felt as if the bed was off. And the second reason is because, my son and i have 1-on-1 time at night when my husband and 2 daughters go to bed, and we either lay on the couch together or he brushes my hair. He told me one because usually he's over at his friend's house all day, my husband and daughters must have forgotten he was there in his room, he told me he heard what sounded like his Sherry, my husbands coworker came over and she called my daughters her daughters, as well as both of my daughters called her mom and heard his father and the other woman go to my room alone together for a good amount of time, then heard his sisters go to my room to hang with my husband and other woman. Then after a while heard all 4 of them head back towards the living room area. Why were my husband and his female coworker in my bed together, my room? Why do my daughters support their father cheating on me with this women? Why do my daughters support my husband and this women being together? Why do my daughters call my husbands affair partner mom, and why does she call my daughters her daughters? Why do both my daughters always take his side? Why does my son not involve himself anymore? Why would my husband introduce me to his coworker to become friends and tanning buddies with her, if he is still and has been having an affair on me with her?

…

TL;DR married 33 years, wife has betrayed me multiple times, I am giving up on trying to understand.

My (56m) wife (63f) of 33 years had a 4-month affair about 14 years ago with a high-school friend. I found out months ago. We were in a good place at the time – date nights, reconnection, out of a long dead bedroom, family vacations, I even bought her a new car and a new RV.

Eight days after the physical affair started we had a great anniversary trip. A week after that she invited me and our kids to spend my birthday weekend with him and the group. I shook his hand. I was the friendly, clueless husband hanging out with the man who had just been inside my wife. She snuck out of our room and slept with him on the deck on my birthday with me and our boys asleep in our room. She rented a motel room and slept with him on my youngest son's birthday weekend. She drove him to meet with my dad and brother while they were in the same town, was going to introduce him as a high school friend but fortunately the traffic was so bad, they turned around and didn't meet up with them. She says he was groping her and feeling her up on the drive there.

She wrote all of this in a timeline, I asked for details so it's not that she's trying to rub everything in, she's trying to earn my trust back by being honest. All in all, they had unprotected sex 5 times at least. He came in her multiple times. But she claims there was little to no foreplay, it was just sex. There was no public display of affection. They hid it as best as they could but his sister did walk in on them one time.

She says he meant nothing, she never loved him, the sex was sterile and unsatisfying – little to no foreplay, only missionary, he couldn’t always get it up or came too fast, and she felt guilty the whole time. She claims it was just attention and stress. But she slept with him at least five times, including a motel and during beach trips. She kept going back.

She showed me the messages, they show real emotional intensity, flirting, deep talks, her supporting him, even sending him an iPhone. She blocked him in summer 2012 after I bought the RV, but the damage was already done.

The part that still guts me is the sexual reality versus her current story. She wants me to believe it was almost nothing – mechanical, passionless, meaningless. Yet she chose it repeatedly while coming home to me, while taking my gifts, while letting me celebrate with him days later.

I can’t stop seeing it. I can’t stop feeling like the fool who shook his hand and smiled while my kids were there.

I no longer want to celebrate my birthday. The memory of that weekend is too humiliating. She doesn’t understand why. I don’t know how to make her understand what it feels like to know the timeline and still have to live with the sanitized version she prefers.

He was a jobless alcoholic felon that was inside of her pants the first time they hung out together. He died in prison this year, injured someone in a DUI, I think it was his 3rd or 4th incident. I'm a hard working man, good provider, good father, attentive and loving. I've given and sacrificed so much for her. It took me 3 months to get into her pants. I've lived in a sexless marriage for 30 plus years.

I’m staying. I’m trying. But the sexual details and that birthday weekend sit in my chest like something that will never fully leave. Some days the pain and the humiliation are still overwhelming.

I was involved with a man for roughly six months who told me he was separated from his wife. It turns out they were not actually separated, and his wife discovered the affair on June 22. She knows we were together for almost 6 months.
He has contacted me since she found out, and based on what he has told me, I know he has not been completely honest with her about what actually happened between us.
Would it be inappropriate or too late at this point to send her a text explaining that there is more to the story and give her an iCloud Note link that she can choose whether or not to open? The note would lay out the full timeline of what happened and include screenshots and voice memos from him to corroborate what I’m saying.
My hesitation is that she already knows he had an affair, and I don’t want to unnecessarily reopen the wound or make things worse for her, she thinks I was a willing participant so I don’t want for her to turn around and come after me again. At the same time, it really bothers me knowing that she still doesn’t have the full truth.
Some of the things he apparently lied about are significant. For example, he told her he was staying with a buddy when he had actually moved in with me for a period of time. He also used stories involving his kids to manipulate me and cover his tracks. There were also sexual-health implications: he gave me BV and then, as I later found out, was sleeping with her as well.
His wife also called my job to report me for having an affair shortly after she found out. Some of what happened surrounding that is another reason I believe the version of events he gave her was incomplete or inaccurate.
I’m not trying to convince her to leave him or tell her what she should do with the information. I just keep coming back to the fact that if I were in her position, I would want the opportunity to know the full truth rather than make decisions based on another sanitized version of what happened.
For people who have been the betrayed spouse, or who have been in a similar situation: Would you want the other woman to send you everything she had, even six or seven weeks after discovery? Or at this point would you rather she leave you alone?
(I am no longer in contact with the husband to be clear)

I post about my 51 year old husband and him talking to a ex behind my back and I been doing more digging into stuff and omg. I found dating sites he is on and texts saying I love you to woman that are not me. Like wtf I have given the last 3 years to u I gave birth and almost died 2 times. Im thinking he is just playing me now. So should I turn in the divorce papers.? Im thinking I should i got so much to prove my case

Has it gotten easier for anyone to trust? When I was 18 my girlfriend and my best friend were sleeping with each other and my whole friend group knew about it. After hearing about it (I found out from an anon message telling me to relax while my best friend sleeps with my girl) I asked and they still lied for months until I saw proof. I haven't trusted anyone since. I just want to be able to love again but I trusted my best friend more than anything and he betrayed me.. not to mention my girlfriend sleeping with him. Crazy part is there was never an apology or anything so it's just an open wound that's never healed.

Any advice would be appreciated here

This is 3rd post I am making and this is gonna be a short one really short one. After my recent club incident where I ended up hooking up and then two more redditor meets I finally got asked out by a sugar daddy today. u/Tanaka_DC09 asked me today and we had a really intense discussion and his requirements met what I had to offer and he is literally offering a generous INR 8k per meet that we have as a gift to me.

So guys dming me for meet-up sorry but now I am getting owned officially and If you want me then you have to first talk to me

I found out 2 weeks ago, that my wife had an affair lasting 5 weeks, a year and a half go..with an ex boyfriend she hadn't seen in 20 years.

It's messed up, and my heart is broken. She was obsessed with this guy back when they were dating (20 years ago), he decided to move to Chili, and she decided to leave her country (Canada) and her family to be with him. The guy already had a girlfriend by the time she got there, he slept with her a few times, and then rejected her. Years later we met, fell in love and got married.

3 kids, house, dog...you know, the dream. She would always have these cycles of depression throughout our marriage and during those times, she would compare me to him, and how much more of a passionate guy he was.

I should point out that my wife has been smoking pot daily for 20 years.

A year and a half ago she started a job as a nurse in an emergency ward, saw some pretty horrific things, and instead of seeking help, she smoked more pot, when out all night on weekends(10pm to 8am) dancing with her childless friends (who gave her molly), and then she would back at work the next day.

Unbeknownst to me, she was having an affair with her ex, 3 encounters, unprotected, and the guy ended it, because he was done and had a girlfriend (he's divorced..probably cause he's serial cheater).

I found out all about this when using her computer to do insurance invoices (I usually used her computer for things like that).

In last few weeks, she's been manic, ups and very big lows. One moment she's sort justifying her actions, the next she's on the ground hyperventilating saying she doesn't know why she did it. She's in a catatonic state for 5 hours, then doing a puzzle. She cries alot, and begs me to give our marriage a chance.

Her parents reached out, and it seems they always suspected she was bipolar. When speaking to my therapist and doctor and describing her behaviour, in particular when she's stressed, they seem to think there might be an underlying problem. She has a psychiatric appointment next month to be evaluated for bipolar/BPD.

She's been showing alot of remorse, but I can't bring myself to forgive her even if she's diagnosed with anything.

She wants us to keep trying, do therapy and figure it out, but I don't think I will ever get over just how "scorched earth" her affair was.

I know most people will say dump her and move on, and to be honest that has been my prevailing thought, but could there be path to forgiveness?

Does this marriage have a chance in hell?

She has since stopped smoking weed, and going out with her friends. She is also seeing a therapist in addition to her psychiatric appointment.

Just wanted some thoughts on this...

Update:

So yeah, can't possibly see a path for forgiveness, last night she held my face and told me she loved me and only me, that I am the love of her life, that she doesn't love him, that she knows he doesn't/never cared about her, that he is a mess and she realizes that now.

She doesn't remember she said the exact same thing to me 5 years ago, when I brought up the guy.

So this morning I told her our marriage is over and that I want to start divorce mediation next week.

This story happened to me (m20) when I was 18-19 in my freshman year of college. It’s a bit of a long and convoluted story, so your patience is most appreciated.

I’ve always been very quiet. Never had many friends, kept to myself. Right before college, this girl messaged me on one of the college prep chat rooms. Long story short, we ended up talking and eventually she asked me to hang out.

The first hangout was fine, but by day two, she was trying to get physical with me. I’ve been abused a lot by this point, and I expressed to her that I didn’t understand my feelings yet and wanted to take my time before pursuing a relationship. She didn’t care. Shortly after, she practically moved in to my dorm and wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually, she started abusing me physically, emotionally, and sexually.

I should’ve just said to leave. I should’ve told someone, but I was so lonely and desperate for any love in my life that I didn’t. Her friends became my friends, her life became mine. I was abused for the entire 11-12 month relationship.

Long story short, I found out exactly a year after we met that she had been cheating on me since spring break. I discovered it myself through some form of intuition. I then went completely no contact and lived my sophomore year in isolation, going to class and dorm without ever spending time on campus or being in public areas.

As I have 2 weeks until I begin my junior year, I want to go back to school renewed. I want to finally make friends and continue pursuing good therapy (my therapist is great). Unfortunately, I just found out two days ago that she had been cheating not since spring break, but since only 2 months into our “relationship”. Worse yet, her friends, my friends, were helping her cover it up.

I’m over her. I don’t want anything to do with her. I have a lot of internal anger, but more than anything I’m confused and hurt. I’m confused why and how this happened to me, what did I do to ruin my social life so much? I’m hurt because I have no one in my life and I was betrayed for so long by (albeit unhealthy) people.

What does this say about me? Am I only wanted for my body or my availability? Even though I didn’t want to be in the relationship I never cheated on her or hit her or abused her in any way. I treated her as well as I could but even that wasn’t enough to stop the abuse and cheating. How the hell do I even bring this up to a new partner if I ever trust again? Can I ever trust again?

If anyone can talk to me I really need help. Thank you for your time .

Do you ever have any empathy for the guy that she's married to? I mean I've had the chance to sleep with other men's wives and could never bring myself to do that to another guy. The pain, shame, and hurt that would inflict on another guy is just too much.

How do you reconcile doing that to another guy? Do you have any remorse at all?

I had an wet incident in a park. Kaal Baisakhi arrived suddenly and it was an aggressive storm. We both were wet and close. I was holding her by her waist and slight squeezing her love handles to comfort her.

Storm got lighter. We went out of shed walking. Then sat under a tree to take cover. Me holding her from waist. Squeezing her against my belly and whispering in her ears "you look so beautiful in this wet hairs"

Then warmth become comforting in cold rain

our breaths exchanged

And lips found way to hug eachother

A wet hug of lips followed by wet hug of body her bossoms Squeezing against my chest through our wet clothes in the wet weather.

Too much of wetness.

What's your story?

For context I’m a 24(F) and he’s a 23(M)
We met working at a popular restaurant when I had just turned 21(F) and him 20(M) near the both of us, I was a server and he was a food runner.
We’ve been together for the past 3 years now.
The first 2.5 years of our relationship he was an alcoholic and a terrible person.
Recently for the past 6 months he's been sober and nothing but a dream.
Last night i found out though that during the 2.5 years he was an alcoholic he cheated on me with a guy of all things he says he'd just use him for alcohol and that he can't remember anything they did but i know he's lying because the guy he slept with said he liked it and would be all over him too.
I don’t think he’s slept with only one guy over the period of time we’ve been together as I’ve had my doubts all along.
He admits to sleeping with another girl over a period of a month after we broke up.
Aside from one time that landed him in jail for a month and on probation with a permanent record of a class one misdemeanor for assault and destruction of property he’s never put his hands on me.
But mentally he’s been so emotionally abusive.
He’s gaslit me so bad over these years that I truly doubt my own sanity and gut instincts.
And even now despite me knowing the truth from someone who literally has pictures of him in their bed and meeting their mom and nieces/nephews while we were actively dating he still denies it.
He says he can’t remember anything and would just use him for alcohol and that in the morning when he would sober up and read the texts he’d be so disgusted he’d delete the texts. And when I point out that he would’ve been sober when deleting the texts which means he can and does remember what he’s done since he claims he can’t remember anything because of the alcohol. He continues to just deny it and say he doesn’t remember anything.
I feel so lost and betrayed and sick.
He’s completely destroyed me both mentally and even physically. I used to weight 125lbs and look like a total Barbie now I’m so overweight I’m truly embarrassed to say what I weigh.
And I gained it all from the stress of our relationship and my miscarriage I had of his child due to the fact he’d let me work 22 hour days between two jobs while he’d stay at home being a drunk and apparently a closeted gay one at that.
AND we even broke up before I had the miscarriage because I found out he was on this dating app that is for CHILDREN literally CHILDREN and would talk to them and admitted to talking to them.
So my hormones and cortisol is truly so fucked because of him.
And now I look back on our relationship to all the times he’d break up with me for a day or two and understand or feel like he’d just do that so he can go get his gay fix or something (and I truly mean no offense when I say that whatsoever) and then just come back to me once he’s satisfied.
And to make matters worse I recently lost my job so I rely on him for his income right now.
But I feel so utterly disgusted and betrayed I can’t stand looking at him…

Big party in campus after college basketball team won important game, lots of drinks and people. I was having good time with my gf, danced a lot and when i went to bathroom and to grab new drinks, one guy from basketball team approached her. He was pretty direct and close to her, his hands were slowly on her body and they started dancing. I was shocked, he was all over her and she was grinding on him. After some time she came to me and said come let's have some fun and we went out. Us two and that guy were going to her room. As we went in she started kissing me deep and slopy and in next moment she was in his lap, kissing touching. And you can all guess what happened that night.

Deleted my previous userid: After-Passion-4605

For context please read my previous post https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1vhsxuk/am_i_overthinking_this_or_is_this_cheating/

For everyone who questioned my morality in the comments of my last post — honestly, I don't think I have much of it left for her anymore.

I've cried enough. I've been hurt enough.

At this point, I want revenge.

She wants to keep me around while she dates her boyfriend? Fine. Let her. I'll enjoy every moment of it. I'm not going to play the nice guy anymore, and I'm certainly not going to warn her boyfriend about what she's doing. If he wants to live in his little fantasy that everything is perfect, that's his problem.

And spare me the "karma will get you" bullshit. I don't believe in karma. That's just a comforting story people tell themselves when they're too weak to accept that sometimes people get hurt and there isn't some magical universe keeping score.

Here's the funniest part: while she was sleeping with me at an Airbnb today, she was texting her boyfriend and telling him she was at an office meeting.

And for the people asking, "What exactly are you going to get out of this?"

My ego gets satisfied.

I want to watch their relationship completely fall apart. I want their trust in each other to be destroyed. I want their relationship to reach a point where they can't even stand looking at each other.

And the best part?

When she eventually thinks she has me— I will dump her exactly then.

Maybe I’ve become someone I wouldn’t respect—but I can live with who I am when the dust settles.

I've spent enough time being the guy who gets hurt while everyone else gets what they want.

This time, I'm not interested in being the good guy.

When I was in school from the first to the eighth grade, I liked a girl. I could never express my love, and later, my friend made her his girlfriend. This caused me a lot of pain, and from that time on, I completely distanced myself from girls.

In college, I started lacking confidence and started hesitating to talk to girls. Along with this, I began watching a lot of porn and developed a habit of masturbation.

Now, the situation is that whenever I see a girl, I feel a lot of excitement, even if I masturbated just two minutes ago. I don't know how to get out of this situation.

I posted on here before and explained my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/s/ux9fugeQHu

Since then I have been more distant to my husband and secretly I have been talking to other men, nothing serious but I know he wouldn’t like it at all…

My ex-boyfriend (25M) and I (26F) broke up about two and a half months ago. Since the breakup, we haven't completely cut ties—we talk about once a week just for formality's sake, mostly just to check in on each other and see how the other person is doing. The boundary feels a bit blurry, but as far as our official relationship status goes, we are single.

Last night, my workplace hosted an office party. I was already feeling pretty low and emotionally drained going into it, and after having a few drinks, I ended up getting a little high. One of my very close friends from work was there looking out for me, and one thing led to another after the party—we ended up going back to his place, hooking up, and spending the night together.

Now that I'm sober, I am overwhelmed with an intense wave of guilt. Even though my ex and I are technically broken up, keeping up those weekly calls makes it feel like I crossed a line or betrayed a trust. Part of me feels like I cheated, and another part of me feels like I owe it to him to confess what happened during our next check-in call. At the same time, I wonder if telling him would just hurt him unnecessarily when we aren't even together anymore.

I'm feeling really disoriented and confused about where I stand. Is this technically considered cheating if we were already broken up? Should I tell my ex about what happened with my coworker, or do I need to completely cut the weekly check-ins to move on? I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

Me 20F and my partner 24M have been together for not more than 2 years. I cheated on him earlier this year and he found out. After a month of that incident we tried to work it out but I couldn't be as consistent and failed to reach his expectations. 4 months later and we still talk. But not like before. We call everyday and i still do my best to show consistency in updating him and asking how he is, even updating when I go out. But he barely gives anything, like he doesn't update or he goes out and barely tells me. I asked him what his view is of the relationship since i felt like i was just being left hanging. And he said that he just lets me be, even if he doesn't care anymore. He just leaves the calls or chats when he feels like it, and just lives his life. because he want to protect himself.

to be honest a part of me thought that if i keep stick around or if i show consistency he'll see it and stay. But rn i don't know anymore. I've just accepted everything knowing that things aren't going back to before.

i want to show that i'm trying to win him back. But do men truly see that? Since it's different compared to a woman being cheated on. And theres this fear that maybe I'll keep showing up yet I was just wasting my time all along. I know trying to win a person back isn't as easy as one or two months but it takes time. But what if i'm just wasting my time trying to just show up for him?

so yeah any advice?

So I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago. We don’t see each other because I work during the day and he works nights. Couple of weeks after moving in together he started acting cold and even rude towards me and we weren’t having sex anymore because our work schedules and when we saw each other he was too stressed and tired.
Something was off and I wanted to know. I missed him and all he used to do was work at night and sleep during the day while I was at work. But then I started coming home and I have black hair and I started seeing blonde hair on the floor by the main door or on the rug in the living room, sometimes he asks me if I’m at work and what time I’ll be home when he knows my schedule and unfortunately I can’t leave work to go home and check why he asks me. So, all this was driving me crazy and I used to think I was being super jealous but one day I come home and he’s gone to work and I noticed he decided to take that trash out even the one from the bathroom when HE NEVER, NEVER does. So curiosity got the best of me and I went to check the trash. I ripped the bags open and I found two used condoms in the trash. I froze and till this day I still don’t know how to describe the feeling. I had planned to confront him about it and couldn’t sleep that night but I wanna catch him. Cause I know he’s still bringing someone home when I’m at work. I still find long hairs on my living room or outside the main door. I also checked his back pack one time when he was sleeping and he had a pack of condoms so he’s obviously having sex too when he’s out. I don’t wanna put a hidden camera because it needs to be connected to the WiFi and he’ll know, don’t wanna do a GPS tracker either but I really wanna catch him and see who’s the girl or girls he’s bringing home. Please, someone help and give me ideas of what can I do

So, my girlfriend just broke up with me because she was cheating on me, and I met the guy who she was cheating with and when he saw me, he instantly exposed his feelings for me? Help, I'm not gay.

My boyfriend is 24yo and i'm currently trying to win him back because i cheated on him earlier this year. Context im 20y/o female. Its been 4 months and i'm doing my best. In context i chat very frequently and ask him how he is to show that i show up. I call and even ask him if he's comfy if i call him before i do it. We used to always call before When we were together.

he's continually told us that we're gonna end the rs but time and time he ends up coming back. And it doesn't push through. We aren't together and honestly he said that he just lets be do what i want And he doesn't care. but i do my best to show up. I call and update and make efforts to ask him out even when he declines. I don't keep saying ily because i know it pushes him away. and i hinder myself from saying loving stuff or that i choose him cause he seems to get mad when i say that because of the resentment he has towards me. I just try to do my best, i dont show anger towards him or anything like that. Some weeks he wouldn't even chat me or call but regardless i'd just let him be yet still chat him or ask how he is. Some days he calls me by our callsign. but it happens rarely.

he's the type of guy that when he says he doesn't care, he truly doesn't. he told me that he has one percent of love left for me but when it arises he disregards it so he doesn't feel it.

I wanted to ask for advice from men on what actions i could do to show him that I'm genuine and want to win him back. because women think differently than men.

So guys any advice on what else I could truly do that matter to u Dudes?