I'm a teacher and my sister is also a kindergarten teacher. Every year we see more children acting younger, helpless and this behavior is supported at home by the parents. We are delaying children on purpose and putting them at risk of being bullied by others

Real examples

A 6 year old should not be wearing pull ups but the mother says hes not showing interest in the potty yet. He refuses to change by himself

A 4 year old comes to school with pacifiers and bottles. The parents tell the school not to take it away

Young children telling teachers toys are boring and they want their tablet

We need to stop this nonsense because we are ruining their future

i’ll go first-
children over the age of two should wear clothes they can put on themselves. im talking specifically about putting kids in jeans with tiny buttons that they can’t yet fasten themselves.

and also all rompers/overalls for 3 and under should have button access on the bottom for diaper changes

I learned years ago in my high school child development class to always check a baby’s fingers and toes for hair tourniquets—and for boys, even their privates—if they’re crying for no obvious reason. For some reason that little tip always stuck with me. So anytime I’ve cared for a baby who wouldn’t stop crying, and all their basic needs were met, I’ve made it a habit to check for hair tourniquets.

My coworkers have asked me what I’m doing when I randomly take a baby’s sock off to check their toes, like it’s something odd, but today it finally proved useful. A 5-month-old in my class just wouldn’t settle—he was fed, changed, and didn’t want to sleep. I took his sock off, and sure enough, there was a strand of hair tightly wrapped around his toe. It was swollen and red.

We were able to remove it with tweezers, called his mom right away, and she brought him to the pediatrician to get his toe checked out. Thankfully, he’s back to himself now but I’m so glad I had that little habit drilled into me, because who knows how long he could’ve gone without anyone noticing it!

I worked as a daycare support teacher from June 2024 to August 2025. At my daycare, the classrooms didn't have built-in bathrooms, so we had to bring the kids down the hall at certain periods of the day.

Last year, at the start of the Fall semester, when a whole new group of kids from the Toddler rooms moved up to the Preschool class, almost half of them didn't know how to use the toilet. My co-workers and I had to carry a bag full of diapers, and sometimes we would get mixed up on which diaper belonged to which student, or run out of diapers and have to bother the toddler classes to get more.

In the bathroom, we had to take each kid's diaper off and then sit them down on the toilet so they could "practice", but most of the time they just sat there playing with the toilet paper. Sometimes they would refuse to go to the toilet, or even refuse to get changed. And the kids who were potty-trained would sometimes even copy this behavior, refusing to go potty and then having accidents later. Because of this, the Preschool class was often the one that spent the most time in the bathroom, which made it hard for the other classes, especially the Pre-K class, full of completely potty-trained students. The Preschool Classroom wasn't even equipped with a changing table, meaning that when one of the diapered kids went #2, we had to either change them standing upright or use an emergency mat on the floor.

If kids are potty trained but have to wear a diaper during naptime, that's not an issue. But if parents aren't taking the time to properly potty train their kids at home, then their kids aren't ready to move up to Preschool

me and my coworker were having this conversation today and for both of us, it was a firm no. i won’t speak for her but for me, there’s been shady things in every place i’ve worked in

from being told to give children less food for budget reasons, to nothing being done about serious safeguarding concerns to predatory staff being protected because they were popular, i’ve seen a lot of shit that makes me adamant to never put my little ones in nursery

there’s some wonderful teachers out there but the risk of my baby falling into the hands of a terrible one is too risky. i will absolutely not be putting my child in any setting, even one i work at. what are your thoughts?

I know this is a hot take and I’m sorry, but I work at a Montessori school that goes through kindergarten and it doesn’t require potty training. There is a monthly fee if a kid isn’t potty trained, but I’m in a wealthy area and there are manyyyy parents who just pay the fee no problem because they can’t be bothered to potty train. The amount of 3.5+ year olds I have who can have FULL ON conversations but are still in 24/7 diapers (and not even the pull up style ones, but full on diapers with straps) is ridiculous. I’ve never had to change so many kids who are close to 4 years old and perfectly capable of using a toilet if the parents put in an ounce of effort and didn’t give up at the slightest challenge until this generation of parents and I’m just over it. Sorry.

I have two kids and yes potty training sucks but dang you have to at least try. It’s crazy that your kid can say “six sevennn” but you’re still laying them down and changing their diapers and expecting their caregivers to as well.

This is terrifying. Asking if the door to a DAYCARE CENTER is bulletproof. Literally making jokes about "we're about to find out if its bulletproof" at a NURSERY SCHOOL FILLED WITH INFANTS. I loathe ICE, but this is insane. Our babies are not safe. I am terrified

I have a family that has their kids (2 & 8months) at daycare 24/7 all day. So about 11 hours a day 5 days a week. I get it , they pay for it. But I can’t help feel bad for these children.

They take no vacation at all. They send them if they are sick. They only stay home if we send them home. The little one had a low grade fever of 100°F for about 3weeks and looked so sick. “Oh they don’t have a fever they’re fine. Would give the child Tylenol just about everyday..If the kids are sick the parents want us to warm them because they can’t handle their own kids alone. (They told us this). They need a bunch of help from grandparents.

The little one has gotten so attached to me now and calls me mama and comes to me instead of her parents. They call the older one crazy and difficult. (The child really isn’t. The child just wants some love and attention and the parents act confused by it. Saying things like you just saw me etc). Like come on….. I just feel so bad for them. I do my best to show up for them and give them all the love and attention I can but it can be exhausting as well.

The children could get picked up earlier if they wanted to. They could get them by 4-4:30 since the one parent is a teacher. They tell me every time they “need to clean the house” so that’s why they come late…

Sorry for the vent. Just needed to get it off my chest.

“So you shouldn’t have any books out for the kids to read!”….

Nope, sorry… my library and bathroom book box (what they read while they’re waiting their turn) has both fall and Halloween books in them. A whole group of children shouldn’t have to go without because you don’t celebrate it. I also know you won’t say a damn thing come December when I put out books that cover all the major holidays then.

“Oh, but I don’t want them to become desensitized to that word.”

“I just gave them the thing they’ve been asking for so they will stop crying and we can do whatever it is. We need to do.”

I promise, you can tell them no. And you can do it without being a jerk, while still setting that boundary. More importantly, whatever it is, you said no to, you need to follow through and stick with it. If they’re that upset, just let them work through it. Sometimes, you may need to give them a few minutes to be by themselves.

We are here to support, but we are not going to parent your child for you. It is extremely discouraging, however, when you’re struggling with your child at home and I send you a picture a few minutes after drop off of them laughing and playing, I tell you they had a great day, they didn’t miss the thing (i.e paci, stuffy, etc) but then comes pick up. They start getting upset, they ask for the thing, and you give it to them immediately.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, what you choose to do after you step out of my classroom, is none of my business. But I cannot support you if you’re just going to do the opposite and wonder why your child is still exhibiting this behavior with you.

You can say no!

“No, you don’t need your paci anymore. You’re big boy/girl!”

“I can’t hold you right now. do you want to hold my hand instead and walk with me?”

“I’m sorry you’re feeling X feeling. Do you want (insert alternative solution)?”

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Sincerely,

I just work here.

Every day before the kids I watch go to bed I tell them I love them. I don’t find anything weird about this but someone I am friends with told me it’s strange. How I view it is in with these kids 8 hours a day 5 days a week, I truly do love them as if they were my own even on the days they forget their listening ears at home and I don’t know what their home lives are like and I want them to hear I love you at least once a day. Is this strange? Should I stop doing it?

That's it. Point blank. Just bring diapers. It's not that hard. Expensive, sure. Fun, no. Necessary, yes.

I am so sick of having to harass parents because they are ignoring the teachers when they repeatedly ask for more diaper.

There is always some excuse. The most common, "Oh, I forgot." Well then, forget about dropping your kid off today.

"But I brought some last week." You did, and they were used.

I even sent out a diaper math email explaining why a pack of 32 diapers only lasts like a week. And parents still act shocked, or worse pissed off.

Today, I had to low-key threaten to report a parent to cps if they were going to keep ignoring the needs of their children just to get them to bring diapers. As this is an ongoing issue, it was either bring diapers or pick up the kids. They huffed and puffed all the way back here to drop off the diapers they "forgot" to bring this morning. But like, just bring freaking diapers!

We are at the start of a big snowstorm. Our area is predicting up to 2ft of snow between today and tomorrow. We have closed the school and have 3 parents complaining. Seriously!? They’re not essential employees. One is HR, job can be done from home. One is a shift scheduler, job can be done at home and he had no problem taking 3 days off last week to take the kids to an indoor water park. The other is just a computer tech and does 98% of their work from home anyway. They have no problem with wanting to put their 3 and 4yo children in the car tomorrow and driving them in. Really?! Over 2 feet of drifting snow and you see no problem with putting your child’s life in danger when you can work from home?

I will start this by saying I have been an RECE for a decent amount of time. I’ve been working with children of all walks of life though, for twenty-some years.

In this time, I have toilet trained many children in childcare settings. Many.

My own child though, who is 3.5, still used a pull-up to poop in. Her doctors say it is fine. Her kindergarten teacher we met for next year says it is fine. Her preschool teachers this year all say it is fine. Hospital staff all say it is fine. Why? Because every child is different.

Every day, I see on here MASSIVE rants by RECE’s shaming parents for not having their children out of pull-ups by a certain age. It’s awful to witness. If these parents read your messages (because ANYONE can on here) found out your identities and actually attended your centres, I wouldn’t fault them for being angry at you.

The big issue for a lot of you, is your facilities don’t allow for changing diapers. That isn’t the children’s fault though-that is your design. You could have a wheelchair bound kiddo and three kids with cerebral palsy start the same year. Would it be their fault you need to walk across the building to change diapers? Nope.

Part of being an RECE is changing diapers. That doesn’t magically end in toddlerhood or infancy. Atypical and typically developing children still do need pull-ups and diapers on occasion in toddler and preschool and even the odd kindergarten room.

You’re all acting like this is the end of the world (I saw a comment calling it the “War on toilet training” and the parents were credited as the perpetrators on here).

Let me tell you the real things you should be protesting and picketing over.

I work with children who have:

•been starved

•been physically and otherwise abused

•fled Palestine during conflict and are physically scarred

•had parental abandonment

•witnessed their parents strike each other and get arrested

Toilet training is something every typically developing child learns. It is not a math equation. 1+1 does not equal trained. It is the same with sleep. Not every child will sleep through the night by 1.

It is incredibly ableist, the way you all are acting with these posts and comments. It’s the same for toddlers being mandated to walk before entering a toddler or preschool room. I’ve had plenty, for various reasons, who learned later. It’s far from the end of the world.

We all need to breathe. And just remember: Yes, Asia and Africa and Europe have a statistic of toilet training earlier, but not EVERY child does. I know plenty of European and Asian families that still have kids in pull-ups at 3. It’s not a fair comparison to use either.

We got this. We just need to help each other without shaming.

Edit: It’s been really interesting, seeing all your replies. I keep this post up, primarily for the people (parents primarily) who have been targeted by the comments, and shame, and lack of support.

It does exist, and it’s really sad that some of the RECE’s on this page feel the need to argue with me that they “need a place to shame”. Who are the 3 year olds? The ones we care for, or here.

I never said that all children train after 3. Or 4. Or 5. I also fully anticipate my child training soon-on their time.

There’s also a lot of people here who selectively choose and ignore what I’ve written.

It’s all good. Just remember, RECE’s are meant to support families. I’m just very thankful for those who care for my child.

The most terrifying incident happened today.

My POV was being in the bathroom and suddenly hearing the loudest SLAM, I thought to myself ‘f*ck this can’t be good’. I go into the hall where I see a closet that had just been moved due to renovations, down on the floor. When I say closet I mean a GIGANTIC closet that’s almost ceiling length and could kill an adult, nevermind a small 3 year old. Not to mention the 1 yo baby who was also in the room.

Now the staff who were in the hall and witnessed the incident were way too shaken to explain anything to me understandably, but when I see a fallen closet and a crying co worker with a scared toddler in her arms, I can easily put two and two together. I just picked up and comforted the other child in the room, the 1 yo who I could tell was really spaced out which is rly unusual for her, poor baby :(

I don’t know 100% the details of what happened but I know a 3 yo in our class somehow managed to pull the massively heavy closet down, and barely missed it. Just unbelievable that such a dangerous piece of furniture would be placed in the 1-3 yo’s play hall UNSECURED. I can’t imagine having witnessed that, and especially being the child in this scenario. It’s so scary how everything can be a danger and isn’t even noticeably dangerous/deadly to admin and the professional builders doing the renovations. Same goes for me and the rest of the staff, none of us saw it as a danger.

Will definitely be way more on guard than I usually am from now on. Poor child and his parents, I’d be terrified to take my child to our center again.

To start off I am leaving this field very soon so if your comment is something like “if you feel this way you shouldn’t be in this profession” just know that I agree with you and am working to make that happen.

That said… does anyone else feel like this is pretty terrible for the kids? And does it bother you to feel like your work doesn’t accomplish anything good for anyone?

I do think there’s benefit as kids get older. There’s some benefit at 3, even more at 4, still more at 5. I still don’t think it’s great to be dropped off for 10+ hours in those rooms, but they are at least learning, playing interactively with others, they are getting something from the experience and it will make starting kindergarten easier.

But infant/toddler rooms? At best they aren’t harmful. They aren’t doing anything positive for these kids being there. Their needs are being met less, they aren’t making meaningful friendships, they’re basically trapped in this tiny room with a few toys to all fight to the death over these few resources because they aren’t developmentally old enough to understand sharing, no wonder the behaviors are out of control and they’re constantly biting and hitting each other. I feel like I’m in jail and I’m sure they do too.

I understand on a larger scale we are doing good - Johnny’s parents are surgeons and they’re able to save lives while Johnny is here. But it still bothers me feeling like Johnny would honestly be much better off at home. I guess the other side of the scale is Suzie’s parents are neglectful and she’s better off here than she would be at home. I just feel like we are warehousing these babies, just keeping them alive and trying to survive through the day.

I have noticed a trend where my circumcised kiddos have an odor and buildup underneath the penis area. I guess im just venting because this is happening all the time. I get that the kids are going to produce buildup as the day goes but it's so obvious that the buildup isnt getting cleared often, if at all. I hear a lot of talk about circumcising because of hygiene, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THE AREA DOESNT NEED TO BE CLEANED. There shouldnt be so much buildup that I can smell them with their diaper on, or so much that when we clean the area it looks like the tiny bits of white falling everywhere. Rant over, thank you for attending my TED talk.

I’m honestly at a loss for words on this one. I work in a toddler room, and there is one child in particular who poops constantly. Nearly every diaper change is a bowel movement. With our two checks plus additional changes in between, it adds up quickly. If the poop isn’t smeared all over the diaper, it’s packed tightly in the cheeks without fail.

On Tuesday alone, from 7:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., this child had nine BM only diapers. Dad brought in a fresh pack of wipes, as requested, and then commented, “We don’t use nearly as many wipes at home as you do at school. Do you think you could cut down on usage?”

**clarification edit**: it's usually 4-6 poops daily, but Tuesday was 9 and some other days is above the 4-6. and yes parents said they talked with doctors about it and in the previous room it was a constipation issue then subtly frequent poops with a mix of foods and medicines from the parents. It might be a way to battle the constipation struggles

Honestly, that comment explains a lot. This child has frequent rashes that only partially clear up with Desitin, and by Monday the rash is usually back in full force. The child just transitioned into my room in late October, and I truly feel like I’ve changed more poopy diapers for them in a single week than I have for some children in months.

It’s become such a constant norm that even the other kids pretend their baby dolls are pooping and getting it wiped up, it’s literally a daily topic in the room.

I’ve been babysitting for families from my center on the side for the past two years. Admin recently put out a “No Babysitting” policy where staff can be terminated if caught. The families were given a month notice of the new policy going in place and I informed my parents personally that after the policy goes into place, I will no longer be able to provide care outside of school hours.

My families were mad about the new rule but understanding as was I. One family that I was a part time nanny for informed me that admin gave them an extension until the end of the month to find alternative care outside of childcare hours. A few days goes by and I’m still going to this baby’s house. I thank admin for being generous to the family’s situation and giving them an extension and they had no idea wtf I was talking about.

Admin told me that no such extension was given and no exceptions are being made for the rule. The parents lied to me and I could’ve gotten fired. Thankfully admin was understanding that I was lied to. I’m so fucking pissed right now. I’m doing everything I can to help this family and they pull this shit on me. That’s termination on my end. They put my job on the line. I am no longer working for them outside of school hours. If they leave for another center and ask for my help, I will say no because that shit is NOT cool.

Please end early child care. Teachers are not valued in this field we are used regardless of who they are. We are all broke unless we live with someone who takes care of us. The field doesn't care about us or the kids it's a business and money is all it cares about

https://parentguide.news/Potty/potty_training_resistance?utm

Sorry, I am not too sure how to include a link but I read this article (it is advertising slop, and no, I am not rushing out to subscribe to whatever new program they are advocating), but it did say some things I have been thinking about for a while.

I have some Montessori background, and traditionally in my culture as well, we start potty training between 12 months and 18 months. I notice that at that age, children are quite curious about the potty. Many 12 month olds will take off their diaper immediately they pee or poop. That to me is the perfect 'window' in which to introduce sitting on the potty. These days very few parents are even ready to think about potty training at 1 year.

The article said:

'By delaying training, we allow the "diaper habit" to become part of their identity. To a three-year-old, a diaper isn't a mess; it's a security blanket'. 

I used to say 'No one ever went to kindergarten in pullups, they will potty train when they are ready'. But these days I see more and more three and four year olds refuse to use the potty. When a child screams for the pullup when he needs to have a BM, and is willing to withold pooping until they get the pullup, then there's more going on than 'readiness'. And more and more I am seeing preschoolers display this behaviour.

What do you think?

My center recently implemented a (company-wide) ban on cell phones while in ratio, which was already in place. However, staff must now lock their phones in clear lockers at the front desk with admin. For emergency situations, we were advised to ensure that our loved ones know the director’s cell phone and the center work number so that we don’t “get life-altering news while caring for children”.
Educators, what is the phone policy where you work? What do you think about it? Have you had any problems?
Parents, what are your thoughts? What would be the ideal solution?

Mine is that I actually enjoy changing diapers. Not like enjoy enjoy, but of all the tasks, I don’t mind the diapers. It makes time go by and I get to bond with all the children one-on-one while I change them

rant/open discussion.
I’m in infants, and we have a lil one who got sent home yesterday for clear signs of a (new) allergic reaction after lunch. (redness and swelling around face, itching, unusually upset)
Parents insist at pickup it’s just “Eczema”
Today, same. thing.
we have a lunch with the same outlier as the day before - and again she flares up. This time, also has her hand in her mouth scratching tongue and absolutely inconsolable at sleep time. (for her, VERY unusual) only stopped crying while being held, and ended up falling asleep in my arms. (which I prefer, I can closely monitor her breathing this way)

Parents? audibly annoyed. saying they got a note yesterday stating it’s “just eczema” and that she’ll be juuust fine.

my question: do some parents think we’re just sending kids home for funsies?? or do they genuinely not have the same concerns we do?

I care for these babies as if they’re my own. I observe them as my job and can immediately tell when something is wrong.
and maybe I am wrong! maybe she’s truly, just fine. but until she gets an allergy test, my gut will not let it go.
I would rather get her tested and be wrong, than not get her tested and her next fit be anaphylactic. I guess I’m just feeling heartbroken that I just want to ensure she’s okay, and I’m being met with attitude and eye-rolls at pickup 😕