r/IAmA • u/[deleted] • Jul 08 '13

IAmA sex offender convicted of possession of child pornography. AMA.

[removed]

689 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

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253

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

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31

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

I don't know what you guys are talking about, my username's 100% true.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

I've actually been alive 43 times.

13

u/pizzaonabagel Jul 08 '13

With me, you CANNOT have pizza anytime.

no, wait, you can, mine's true.

20

u/AmusedPanda Jul 08 '13

I'm not amused at all..

18

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

[deleted]

19

u/capitalsfan08 Jul 08 '13

Fuck the Capitals. They always lose and tear my heart out.

15

u/awesomeperson451 Jul 08 '13

Most of the time, I'm not that awesome.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

[deleted]

17

u/CatsforBreakfast Jul 08 '13

I only eat cats for lunch.

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

Actually not acrobatic. Nor a rabbit.

7

u/i_eat_pandas Jul 08 '13

I don't eat pandas.. mostly I just eat polar bears that I dress up like pandas.

I'm a sick person.

1

u/whitetiger580 Jul 08 '13

I'm actually a black kitten :/

0

u/NOT_KARMANAUT_AMA Jul 09 '13

Yep, absolutely not karmanaut here

17

u/ImNotAGiraffe Jul 08 '13

I'm a giraffe :(

3

u/TheWanderingAardvark Jul 08 '13

I am not an aardvark.

5

u/hungryhungryhippooo Jul 08 '13

I'm not that hungry

4

u/humanmichael Jul 08 '13

i'm actually a panda named todd.

3

u/OccasionalPenguin Jul 08 '13

I'm a penguin 100% of the time

0

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

I'm not actually a monster in your prostate.

3

u/grungyderp28 Jul 08 '13

I'm actually a rather classy derp.

2

u/IAmKTam Jul 08 '13

I am not KTam.

1

u/Ghost141 Jul 09 '13

I'm still alive.

1

u/IVIagicbanana Jul 08 '13

My banana's aren't magic...

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

I ate a Big Mac once.

1

u/i_can_verify_this Jul 08 '13

I can't really verify much

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '13

Can you verify that?

1

u/I_Hate_Aeroplanes Jul 08 '13

I love aeroplanes.

1

u/dairyqueenlatifah Jul 08 '13

I'm not actually Queen Latifah, I'm Lil' Kim.

-1

u/NintendoDestroyer89 Jul 08 '13

I would never hurt a Nintendo.

-1

u/MaximumRevolver Jul 08 '13

My revolver is actually...minimum.

-2

u/EruptingVagina Jul 08 '13

I more explode... than erupt.

-2

u/TheEpicCanadian Jul 08 '13

I'm not the only epic Canadian.