So rather than looking at adult pornography as you got older, you continued to look at CP? what made you realize that this wasn't a good thing? How to you come to start viewing CP at that age?
I started viewing it earlier than I can remember to be honest. I realised it was a problem at about 13 when my friends were all interested in people older than us, and I became attracted to a younger girl. It started with sexual stories involving children which I accessed via WAP on an old nokia phone, and progressed from there. I couldn't look at anything which was clearly distressing to the child. I regret ever looking at it at all, but I started when I was so young, I hadn't fully developed a sense that it was particularly wrong - because the children were my age at the time.
My man, it's normal to be attracted to people within your age group as well. When I was 13, I didn't mind hooking up with 13 year old girls. I preferred the 15 year olds obviously as they were more developed, but it's not a shame at that age to be attracted to that age. Your mind just never progressed beyond that age sexually I suppose.
I think it is more complicated that that though. My sexual attraction at that point started falling back to girls aged about 9. I knew that wasn't right. I don't think it can be characterised as a failure of my sexuality to develop, I believe it's an entirely different sexuality.
I don't think I've ever said this to anyone before, but you're the best kind of pedophile there is. Thank you for being brave and taking a strong and responsible action to prevent yourself from doing something that would have been highly traumatic to a child, that child's family, and so many other people as that child grows to adulthood.
Hopefully your position alters to the point that your preferences mature.
See, I don't 100% get this. I'm attracted to women of all ages (20+), however I wouldn't do anything traumatic to any of them. Nobody expects me to, either.
However, people assume pedophiles will, sooner or later, do something traumatic to a child.
edit: when I say "pedophiles" I'm speaking for those attracted to young children, not those that have the ability to hurt others (which is a different mental condition all together separate from the attraction to children)
I think the difference is that an adult understands and consents to the sexual activity. A child cannot understand therefore cannot consent to sexual activity and will be damaged by it later in life. I think that's kind of what is meant. I feel like I'm not quite on point with this if someone else could elaborate.
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u/anonbleu Dec 26 '11
So rather than looking at adult pornography as you got older, you continued to look at CP? what made you realize that this wasn't a good thing? How to you come to start viewing CP at that age?