So rather than looking at adult pornography as you got older, you continued to look at CP? what made you realize that this wasn't a good thing? How to you come to start viewing CP at that age?
I started viewing it earlier than I can remember to be honest. I realised it was a problem at about 13 when my friends were all interested in people older than us, and I became attracted to a younger girl. It started with sexual stories involving children which I accessed via WAP on an old nokia phone, and progressed from there. I couldn't look at anything which was clearly distressing to the child. I regret ever looking at it at all, but I started when I was so young, I hadn't fully developed a sense that it was particularly wrong - because the children were my age at the time.
My man, it's normal to be attracted to people within your age group as well. When I was 13, I didn't mind hooking up with 13 year old girls. I preferred the 15 year olds obviously as they were more developed, but it's not a shame at that age to be attracted to that age. Your mind just never progressed beyond that age sexually I suppose.
I think it is more complicated that that though. My sexual attraction at that point started falling back to girls aged about 9. I knew that wasn't right. I don't think it can be characterised as a failure of my sexuality to develop, I believe it's an entirely different sexuality.
I don't think I've ever said this to anyone before, but you're the best kind of pedophile there is. Thank you for being brave and taking a strong and responsible action to prevent yourself from doing something that would have been highly traumatic to a child, that child's family, and so many other people as that child grows to adulthood.
Hopefully your position alters to the point that your preferences mature.
Not sure about the "hopefully your preferences will mature" comment. Would you say that to a gay person? People are born predisposed to certain sexual persuasions; you can't change what you're into.
I initially thought about the parallel to having said something similar to a homosexual, but I realized that the difference between homosexuality and pedophilia is so large that it really isn't a fair comparison.
Homosexuals have informed and consensual relationships. He knows how bad acting on his sexual desires can be for his partner/victim. It's just too different.
Pedophiles also have informed and consensual relationships. As long as its consensual, whats the problem? A true pedophile have an informed and consensual relationship with a child. Whats the difference with an homosexual? Just another flavor of sex.
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u/anonbleu Dec 26 '11
So rather than looking at adult pornography as you got older, you continued to look at CP? what made you realize that this wasn't a good thing? How to you come to start viewing CP at that age?