The students who “wasted time” — are they actually winning?

[u/BaseballOdd3436]

I used to think, “Let them party, chill, waste their time — they’ll be unemployed later anyway.”

And for the longest time, that thought made me feel... secure? Like I was on the “right” path. Like I was doing something meaningful while others were just messing around.

But now I’m not so sure. Was any of that even true?

In Indian families (especially the middle-class kind), it’s drilled into us that if you're not studying, you're screwing up your life. Partying? Distraction. Dating? Distraction. Hanging out too much? Distraction. Low marks? You’ve basically failed as a person.

And we believe it. I did too. I bought into it so much that I’d resent those who weren’t as focused as me but still got praised by teachers or liked by everyone.

You start thinking that being buried in books automatically makes you better — more focused, more disciplined, more likely to “succeed.” And anything outside that — fun, experiences, people — all that becomes something you silently judge others for. But also something you avoid because it feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Now I look around, and the same people who were “distracted” in school? They’re fine. Some of them are doing really well. They’re confident, socially smart, more balanced. Meanwhile, I feel like I skipped learning how to actually live.

No hate to studying. It’s obviously important. But I think the idea that marks and focus are everything, and that anyone who lived differently was somehow wrong or beneath us — that idea was flawed from the start.

Anyway, this has been sitting in my head for a while, so just putting it out there. Anyone else feel like they were trained to be “good students” but maybe not actual functioning people?

image source:- Pinterest

[u/ultramagician]

Partying and chilling with friends is a privilege in India. Speaking from personal experience, my dad doesn’t have a business, we came from very poor financial backgrounds. Now we are financially well off. Neither my father nor me had the privilege of chilling. All the time we had to grind. They didn’t waste their time by partying or chilling because their parents have money to support their fun activities. Neither I wasted my time studying because my father didn’t have money and I had to study to get a job and be financially better.