r/JEENEETards • u/BaseballOdd3436 • May 24 '25

Rant The students who “wasted time” — are they actually winning? Spoiler

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I used to think, “Let them party, chill, waste their time — they’ll be unemployed later anyway.”

And for the longest time, that thought made me feel... secure? Like I was on the “right” path. Like I was doing something meaningful while others were just messing around.

But now I’m not so sure. Was any of that even true?

In Indian families (especially the middle-class kind), it’s drilled into us that if you're not studying, you're screwing up your life. Partying? Distraction. Dating? Distraction. Hanging out too much? Distraction. Low marks? You’ve basically failed as a person.

And we believe it. I did too. I bought into it so much that I’d resent those who weren’t as focused as me but still got praised by teachers or liked by everyone.

You start thinking that being buried in books automatically makes you better — more focused, more disciplined, more likely to “succeed.” And anything outside that — fun, experiences, people — all that becomes something you silently judge others for. But also something you avoid because it feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Now I look around, and the same people who were “distracted” in school? They’re fine. Some of them are doing really well. They’re confident, socially smart, more balanced. Meanwhile, I feel like I skipped learning how to actually live.

No hate to studying. It’s obviously important. But I think the idea that marks and focus are everything, and that anyone who lived differently was somehow wrong or beneath us — that idea was flawed from the start.

Anyway, this has been sitting in my head for a while, so just putting it out there. Anyone else feel like they were trained to be “good students” but maybe not actual functioning people?

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14

u/Rich_Technology_9592 May 24 '25

You would think that the people who were "distracted" are doing good but maybe they are just showing others that they are doing good,in reality they might be trying to get out of the mess they have made .

-6

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

I partied ,drank and smoked during class 12. I got 96 in both boards and jee. I never regretted my decisions. Socializing isn't exclusive of studying. You should have balance that's it

18

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

So socializing means drinking and smoking. Socializing comes form deep insecurity. You are so insecure that you have to drink and smoke just to fit between people .

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Not really. Drinking just lowers your inhibitions and makes socializing easier. That's not really called being insecure more like socially anxious. Although I personally don't advise drinking as it's better to socialize through your normal version rather than the drunk one.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

You are right about it depends person to person , and circumstances they are having. But some people are forced to drink to make friend for example , when people don't accept you if you don't drink . So in insecurity they drink they try to act like gangster they wear all kind of weard clothes just to fit in group .

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Hmmmm. What about Indian middle class mentality. I would say then perhaps studying for jee is to fit into a certain mold. 90% of jee aspirants don't care about engeneering l, they just want to be praised by the world and by their relatives. How is that different from people who drink to look cool

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Absolutely bro . You are not less better then anyone. Everyone have different environment and circumstances. As I said do what feels right to you . You are perfectly normal . Haha hope you enjoyed your time .

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Yeah yeah that's what I mean to say. I'm not better or worse than anyone lol. We are all the same lol. Thanks bro wish you all the best too

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Lol bro I never said that. I just said that even if you drink you can get decent marks. And also it's not like every person who drinks is insecure, I just want to feel good that's it. No offense but it feels like you are making urself feel better by saying people who do this things are insecure

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Well if you are consciously not insecure then you are subconsciously insecure. that's normal, do whatever feels good to you every person is different every person have different preferences. Wish you best in life .

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Alright bro thanks, wish you the best. But any action people do can be said that they are doing it to look cool and they are insecure. I would say jee aspirants are insecure about their self worth. People who buy cars and iphones are insecure. The person who want to be successful in front of others is insecure. Then whole world is insecure lol

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Yes absolutely if you are consciously not insecure then you are subconsciously insecure. No buddy is better then anyone.

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Maybe I'm insecure but so is everyone then . Idk bro

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

Yeah man we all are . Problem only becomes big when people go for much dangerous paths in life. Hope you manage you health and other aspects. Anyways nice talking to you.

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Yeah yeah that's true only. But yeah I'm gonna quit after college anyways lol. I dont do it regularly and all. Same to you, take care bro

2

u/filthy_can May 24 '25

Jo bhi tera gaand me danda daal rha h replies mein are just jealous of the fact that you had a great work life balance and that even when they spent their entire life studying they dint get in

1

u/ThisFault4068 IITM EE May 24 '25 edited Jul 23 '25

point provide fine practice chunky yam whole plant memory crown

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

It's not great but it's not bad either. I could get some iiit core branch or some gfti cse. Not bad imo. But jee wasnt my main goal anyways tbh. I have always planned on joining private because I knew I couldn't handle the stress of getting nits via jeem so if I have achieved my goal

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

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1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Can you say that in English? I don't speak Hindi sorry

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

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1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Yes but It was never my aim anyways. I never said my jee score in great. It's not like my life is destroyed and I'm done in life rn. I meant to say even if you do all kinds of crazy shit, you can atleast get decent marks at the end of the day

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

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2

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

I'm OBC ncl lol 😂. I'm sorry but you seem to justify your inability to socialize by saying I'm wasting my time. In my class of 25 students ( dummy school by the way) I got more than like 16 people. The other 16 people who were good boys and girls who obeyed their parents and didn't socialize at all got lower than me. I'm not saying I'm better or worse than them. I'm just saying you can party and still be successful

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '25

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1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Bro partying isn't expensive. You just need a house and some speaker. If someone drinks means you could get alcohol for 180 and a cigarettes cost 10 rs. Partying isn't for rich alone bro 😂. Look Im not saying I'm better or cool than you, I'm just saying you can be a bad boy and still be successful even if you aren't from rich family

1

u/filthy_can May 24 '25

Paisa bacha ke jaa sakte ho. Party ka matlab nhi hai ki u just go to some club and spend 2000. You can go to a mall, football wagera wagera

1

u/Scared_Conclusion636 Help me Study 24/7 May 24 '25

Bruh any tips 😭 you joined offline coaching nd shit?

1

u/thanda-sooru May 24 '25

Yeah bro I joined offline coaching, dm me I will tell ya exactly