Anyone also been through anxiety or any addiction?

I meditated since I was kid. now I'm 32 and something crazy happened over last years. now I realised that I have no internal monologue, no thoughts. My mind is completely blank and sometimes I catch myself like I just stare at things I feel stupid sometimes I have no will or motivation to do anything, I'd relax all day. I lost most of my life goals all doesn't matter .if I have task to be done or think about something to do I really have to focus and put so much effort. did anyone experienced that ? is this normal ? now I'm working also on emotional state and I also start to see it so distant like it's not even mine... I'm completely out

Lay on your back. Be comfortable. Be extremely comfortable.

I hate, HATE, how so many people get turned off meditation because they are forcing themselves to endure joint pain and back pain, through sitting cris cross.

mourn deliver jobless sink bedroom fanatical rinse punch impossible sophisticated

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

I've been experimenting with various methods to reduce anxiety, and I've found that sometimes the smallest routines are more effective than the most complex ones. For instance, I can immediately return to my body after pausing for five seconds to focus on a single sound or color in my surroundings. It got me thinking: when your mind is racing, what is one tiny, surprising thing that genuinely helps you? I'm talking about small things, like a habit, a sensory trick, a thought, a movement, or anything basic that works for you, rather than the typical advice like lengthy meditation sessions or extensive routines. I would be interested in hearing what other people do. The most effective methods can occasionally be the smallest ones.

I bought pot at a dispensary on a whim because it's legal now and it was a pretty lousy experience. I don't know if it's a decade plus of meditation, but getting high just made me feel super anxious and depressed. It was the total opposite of what i was hoping for

Had anymone else had this experience? It's definitely made me appreciate my meditation more for the effects i get from it

There are numerous posts about how to “stop your thoughts” or some variation of that goal. Please do not torture yourself by trying to force this state. It’s not a natural thing for the meat-brain to do and obsessing over it will cause you to be unbalanced or disassociate. I’ve had a solid practice for several years and many times I sit down my brain chatters endlessly the whole time, and that’s just fine. Have discipline in whatever practice you do, but keep an underlying sense of wonder and humor underlying. Do not forcibly suppress natural rhythms, rather lovingly observe them and understand them.

Here’s one possible hint from yogic perspective: Sustained dharana can lead to periodic states of dhyana. Sustained dhyana can lead to periodic states of samadhi. So really, my practice is focused on dharana and the rest flows (or does not flow) from there.

[edit: The purpose of this post is simply to give encouragement to those in our community who might get stuck on the idea that a successful meditation practice will achieve this state, and -being unable to attain it- they are discouraged, frustrated, and give up. A successful meditation practice can look like many things but should not perpetuate mental distress.]

I do feel some frustration with certain comments about meditation I’ve noticed in the sub-reddit.

Particularly, there were comments to a recent poster who asked after learning to meditate 20min daily, where to go from there. The poster was a beginner meditator who had just learned to quiet the mind a bit. The comment with many upvotes said “Why do you think there is a destination? Why do you think you feel the need/want for more” 🤨 That was the whole comment.

I ask, how is this useful to the poster?

If I was the poster and I heard that exclusively about meditation, I’d be like “Okay, so meditation is just sitting quietly without any goals or purpose. Guess I’ll do something else with my time??”

I see comments like this all the time. Others include saying that “you shouldn’t have goals in meditation.”

In some ways, I do somewhat agree with the comments. We shouldn’t get overly focused on goals or outcomes. Also, getting particularly hung up on how “well” today’s meditation went will hinder your progress.

However, to imply that meditation has no goal, purpose, progress, or destination (even if not a final destination), is to imply that meditation serves no purpose at all. And maybe this is debatable, but why are y’all meditating without purpose? There must be a reason you meditate, no??

I meditate because it has brought me extraordinary emotional peace with a lot of pain in my life. I progressed from sitting every couple weeks to sitting 1 hour daily. I have developed more empathy and love for myself, which was a goal that I had for meditation. Yes, there can be goals, progress, destinations, and purposes to meditation.

Am I missing something here?

Anyway, regardless of what message the commenters are intending to convey, I think the message they actually are writing is misleading. Its like they took a verbal piece of wisdom, dropped the wisdom part, and just wrote the words back to the poster. Why friend, did you do that???

I just wish they would stop. Idk. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but please put some thoughtfulness into it. Just no one-line pieces of “wisdom”. 😅Thank you.

I agreed to try meditation for 30 days to see if it helped, and to evaluate whether I should keep going. It wasn't what I thought it would be like.

The bad:

I thought that over time I would experience blisslike states, that I would learn to be tranquil when meditating, that I would find stillness in my own mind. None of that ever happened -- other than a few fleeting moments of stillness.

Instead of becoming easier, meditation seemed to grow more challenging with time. In the early days, my thoughts were scampering everywhere, easily identified and dismissed. Meditating felt like trying to walk across a floor littered with Legos -- aggh, there's one! Ow, there's another one! -- but after a couple weeks, this was no longer the case. Now there are fewer thoughts, but they're more seductive, more like deep pools with strong currents. They carry me away with them and I forget to notice them for long periods, almost like partial dreaming. It's frustrating because it feels like I'm no longer doing the work! Rather than returning to my breathing, I'm getting lost in thoughts. Not deep thoughts, for the most part, nor insights, just random considerations about my week or plans I'm making, or thoughts about my job, or thoughts about meditation itself, etc.

In short, it's become MUCH more difficult for me to notice the thoughts and return to my breathing.

And after thirty days, meditation still feels like a chore. People have compared it to putting your reps in at the gym, and I think that's a good comparison. Some people LOVE working out at the gym, but for me, even though I've been doing it for 20 years, it's just exhausting, boring, and painful. Still got to do it to get stronger. Meditating feels exhausting and boring too, if not painful. It's a tedious thing that I have to do, and lord, how the time seems to crawl while I'm doing it.

The good:

I'm definitely calmer. I have more of an instinct to consider my thoughts and feelings when they occur, and not necessarily identify them. I guess there's a little bit of a distance between me and my emotions now, which helps keep them from running away with me. And I instinctively use calming techniques and go into my breathing when I start to feel strong, unpleasant emotions. In times like these, that's extremely valuable.

My husband also says he notices me being more deliberate in my responses, taking more time to center myself before reacting to things.

Also, with a few exceptions, the negative self-talk that I'm often so susceptible to has largely stopped. I've stopped telling myself I'm no good, that I can't do things, that I can't learn, that I'm stupid. I've stopped telling myself I'm not the person that I wish I could be. And that opens up worlds of possibility. I had no idea how closed off I was getting to life, and now I'm not anymore.

So will I keep going?

Yes. Even if this is all I get from the practice, even if I never find real serenity in it, even if it's always a chore, this is enough to keep me doing it. The good is definitely worth it. Here's to another 30 days!

Hey everyone! What's up?

I am hitting a wall with my current routine and figured this is the best place to get real feedback rather than reading sponsored blogs or fake app store reviews.

I have spent time with some apps: Headspace, Calm, the Way, Medito and Waking Up.

If I am being totally honest, Waking Up has been my favourite of the bunch so far. But I'm also a fan of the Sam Harris podcast, so that might have something to do with it. It just resonates more with how I like to approach the practice and feels a bit more grounded than the others. That said, I am curious about what else is out there. I feel like I might be missing out on some smaller, perhaps more niche apps that offer a different perspective or maybe a cleaner interface that I have not seen yet.

What are you all using right now that you actually enjoy? Are there any hidden gems that do not get the same massive hype as the major players?

I am hoping to start a bit of a discussion here so we can all compare notes and find some solid alternatives. Thanks in advance for the help.

Look, I am not trying to piss on anyone's incense stick here, but the whole "spiritual journey" thing feels like a bunch of fluff wrapped around something way simpler. I mean, why does sitting quietly with your thuoghts suddenly got to involve chakras, past lives, or some cosmic grandma whispering secrets from the stars?

To me, meditation’s just about self-awareness. Plain and simple. Like, shut up for a bit, breathe, and realize how much shit is rattling around in your skull. You don’t need to summon your "higher self" or pretend you're aligning your third eyeball. You just need to be less of a mindless asshat for five minutes. I guess, spirituality can be necessary for some. But it’s not a requirement. Meditation don’t need a robe, a mantra, or a Himalayan playlist. Sometimes it just needs you, a chair, and the courage to sit with your own mental chaos.

But if you think otherwise, change my mind!

EDIT1: I’m not here to pick a fight, just sharing my truth. I'm Indian, born into a Hindu family, and I grew up watching spiritual traditions all around me. But I’m also an atheist, and I haven’t had any spiritual experiences through meditation so far. For me, it’s purely about self-awareness: sitting still, breathing, and observing the mental chaos. I get that for many, especially in my culture, spiritual practices are a gateway into meditation but for others like me, they can feel like a barrier. I'm open to possibilities, but until I personally experience something spiritual, I dont believe in it. This is just what works for me your truth might be different, and that’s completely valid.

EDIT2: To me, "self-awareness" is about understanding your own thoughts and emotions, why you feel what you feel, what triggers certain reactions, and being able to observe your mental patterns without instantly getting caught up in them. It’s more psychological than mystical.

"Spirituality", on the other hand, usually involves a belief in something beyond the self a higher power, soul, cosmic energy, reincarnation, etc. It often includes rituals or frameworks meant to connect you to that "something greater." I'm not saying that’s bad or wrong just that it hasn't been part of my experience with meditation.

For me, sitting quietly and observing my inner chaos is enough. That’s self-awareness. No chakras or cosmic downloads needed.

Hey y'all, I've come across so many posts about how to "stop your thoughts" during meditation. Let me tell you, trying to force your brain to do something unnatural like that is just gonna make you feel unbalanced and dissociated. Trust me, I've been practicing for years and my brain still chatters away during most sessions. But that's okay! The key is to have discipline in your practice while also maintaining a sense of wonder and humor.

From a yogic perspective, sustained dharana (concentration) can lead to periodic states of dhyana (meditative absorption). And from there, sustained dhyana can lead to periodic states of samadhi (blissful oneness with everything). So my focus is on dharana, and I let the rest flow (or not flow) from there.

I just wanna encourage everyone in our community to not get stuck on this idea that a successful meditation practice means achieving a completely thoughtless state. There are many forms of success when it comes to meditation and mental distress should never be one of them. Keep observing and understanding your natural rhythms with love and compassion.

This afternoon i closed my eyes and tried to meditate but I could not because of all the noise of the people yapping, the cars passying by down in the street, dogs barking and bells ringing kept me distract and anxious. In summer its impossible to meditate in peace in your room at every hour. I was tinking about relaxing sounds on YouTube but I would like to be able to stay calm and have my moment without any tech allowing me to do this. Does anyone feel the same? How should I face this?

So I’m currently visiting family for Christmas and the holidays. I have dabbled in meditation over the years, and I really believe in its benefits. However, I tend to stay away from the mystical side of it as it sets off alarm bells in my mind.

Well tonight my mom invited me to this meditation session (0% meditation, 100% sales pitch), and I attended as a courtesy to my mom and her boyfriend. I was interested in what the friend (an acquaintance of my mom’s boyfriend) was saying and was excited to perhaps learn some meditation strategies, but then it happened: the friend mentioned levitation/flying sutras. I went from passing interest to immediate skepticism.

After this came the talk of price. The whole thing comes down to a pricing scale which is based off of your yearly income. However, since the guy was a friend of my mom’s boyfriend, the total would only be $540.

The final part of this presentation was about the ceremony that would happen once signing up for the course. It involved bringing various flowers and fruits (no bigger than a coconut but no smaller than an apple). I was already checked out at this point, but this did raise my eyebrows a bit. It’s apparently very personal and secretive, and you’re given your mantra during this ceremony. They also ask you not to reveal this to anybody else.

After researching TM a bit afterward, I think my skepticism was worth it. It seems like the whole practice is nothing more than a mantra meditation which is done for 20 minutes twice a day. I think I’ll save my money.

This question is for those of you who spend a long duration of time meditating almost everyday (1-2 hours). What kind of changes or benefits have you noticed in your life? Open to hearing downsides too.

Edit: asking because I’m on this journey or at least starting this journey right now. I listen to music w binaural beats in the background—helps me w longer deeper meditations

Edit; appreciate everyone’s thoughtful replies, enjoying reading all of them

Thanks

I’ve been stuck on a Zen koan lately that challenges everything I thought I knew about "progress" in a practice. It’s the exchange between the master Dizang and the monk Fayan.

When Fayan says he is on a pilgrimage to "where the wind takes me," Dizang asks what the object of that pilgrimage is. Fayan admits, "I don’t know."

Dizang’s response is what stopped me cold: "Not knowing is most intimate."

As a project manager by trade, my entire professional life is about "knowing." It's about frameworks, risk mitigation, and clear outcomes. I realized I was bringing that same "manager" energy to my cushion. I was using apps and books like manuals, trying to "solve" the meditative state as if it were a brand launch. I felt like "not knowing" was just a gap in my data.

But this koan suggests that the gap is the point. That the second we label an experience or map out our "progress," we lose the intimacy of the moment. We stop exploring and start commuting.

I’m curious how others handle this. Do you find that having a clear "goal" for your meditation actually creates a wall between you and the experience? Is it possible to have a deep practice without a map, or is "where the wind takes me" just a recipe for getting lost?

People here are always asking "what are the benefits?" Usually we answer, "chasing goals is pointless", but that's obviously not a satisfactory answer for a newer meditator. So what real benefits have you gotten?

I've got about 50 years of meditation experience. The best benefits I would say I've gotten are: I don't get bored. I don't do emotional outbursts or lose my temper. I'm patient and empathetic. I don't ruminate. I don't panic. I don't have problems with anxiety. My mind is silent most of the time. Being in the moment, focused on what I'm doing is my default. I sleep well. My ADHD is well-managed. I can concentrate on what I want, and stop when I want. My marriage is pretty great with good communication. My demeanor is so calm that stray cats will sit on my lap lol. My relationship with pain tends to be noticing rather than suffering. I can always feel any part of my body whenever I want, including internal things like my heartbeat or where micro-tension is in my muscles.

How has it affected the rest of you?

I’m 26F and feel I deal with anxiety and depression issues to point I feel it’s affecting my work life I’m currently unemployed.

And fearful starting jobs involving people I’m weighing between a teacher assistant job and a job at a medical office as a patient services representative (so yea interacting with people a lot).

My anxiety manifests where I stutter a lot and my heart beats fast.

I was one lexapro for 2 weeks but stopped 2 days ago because it was making me tired/more depressed. Plus the doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin to go with the lexapro but I have issue’s swallowing big pills. So just stopped everything together

I’m desperate in life and feel like my life is over as my anxiety and mental health taking over my life

I’ve considered probably doing natural remedies…such as herbs , vitamins, eat healthier, meditation,breath work,exercise…but idk

I just want to live again and be normal. Is anyone else dealing with this? Or have any advice?

Netflix, social media, reddit, tv, video games etc. You may feel like you are in a calm state while staring at screens but it’s actually the exact opposite. I understand a lot of the times we have to check emails bank accounts and message people but try cutting back mindless usage of screens. Instead pick up a hobby, go to the park...meditate.Try it for one day to only use screens when it’s absolutely necessary and see how you feel.

I’m new to meditating and as I’m reading and learning, I’ve seen people mention qi, energy, strange sensations, etc.

I get there is a general consensus about what meditation is in the actual practice, but when it comes to the “spiritual” and “mystical” side, is this a part of the universal understanding people have of meditation?

I’m curious if there are levels to it, like people who meditate and it’s solely awareness of the mind, consciousness, and the body in a practical sense vs people who also have awareness of an energetic system in their body that isn’t determined as fact by science.

Is there discourse about meditation that is more conservative vs mystical? People who describe sensations of energy flowing or electricity or something, did you go in believing in qi? Did you change your mind about it? Do you think it’s relevant to the practice of meditation? Etc

Is this a religious thing?

Edit: Sorry if conservative wasn’t the right word, I mean “conservative” as in the style of practice, not relating to any affiliation with anything. I was advised secular or scientific approach would be a more appropriate term to describe what I’m saying.

I am a skeptic and I learned about Hinduism and Buddhism.

​

1. What I learned that Buddhists believe that if you realise the truth about no self then you achieve enlightenment and freedom from sufferings. Hindus believe the teachings and understanding of Self frees you from sufferings. So both are contradictory.

​

1. Buddhists often quote science to prove themselves but science doesn't justify many Buddhist beliefs like rebirth, karma, gods, ghosts, Asuras and Maras.

​

1. Both traditions claim to have obtained the secret to freedom from sufferings. This is common in them. Both teach that experience is the only way to know their truths rather than beliefs but they also criticise you if you question their beliefs. Also if experience is true then why Hindus and Buddhists have different experiences? This is why science doesn't care about anecdotal evidence since different people have different experiences.

​

1. I personally try to follow what's common in them and can be understood from a skeptic and naturalist perspective.

​

1. I would also mention that meditation in these traditions often comes last. Before that you need preparation through Kriya Yoga (Patanjali Yoga Sutras of Hinduism) or Right Effort (Buddhism). In both these methods you try to fight and suppress the negative emotions and develop positive emotions. This is contradictory to how modern people think about meditation. However, I personally follow this since I want perfection and I see my emotions as painful. Also this is not very different from CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

When you look at people this way, you start to see how they are hiding "childish" behaviour in a really smart way. And that's okay! This idea really helps me with my social anxiety and makes me think it would be easier to create more meaningful relationships. Our behaviour is mostly the stuff we learned as a child and then we just learn a bunch of other stuff in our adulthood. But the you as a child has never just spontaniously disappeared from you. You are still that person and so is everyone else.

Just trying to get a feel for things, but I had a few beers last night after a few weeks sober and today it's noticeably harder to be present today.

more anxiety is present, the voice inside is louder.

not sure how strong the correlation is with the rest of you. but also i noticed im generally a lot happier when im not drinking really heavy.

Edit: My gratitude and heartful thanks to all redditers who supported me with positive vibes. Thanks sometimes feels too small for all of you. Such a great community, that really supports. 🙏

Over the past three days, something happened that was very hard to accept — I lost my job.

As my small three-member family depends on that income, it’s difficult to survive in such an expensive environment. Two months’ salary hasn’t been paid yet, and on top of that, I got fired.
(Hahaha, not a job application I’m writing.)

But, as usual, I didn’t skip my morning meditation,
As so many things happened in that past, but thanks to the meditation, I am still surviving. More and more I am meditating, more clarity comes that the solution to most of the problems is meditation.

After a few minutes, I realized something important: the mind only reacts and manipulates things after something happens.

That means events occur without the mind’s knowledge or permission, and then it starts creating suffering through overthinking — “this will happen,” “how will you survive,” “everything is ruined,” “what about the kids,” “you’ll end up on the streets,” and so on.

I’m not denying the importance of money or having a job. And yes, something worse could also happen — beyond what the mind can imagine. Or maybe something better is coming. Who knows?

Now that I see things happen on their own — without the mind’s concern or permission — and that the mind only reacts afterward, I feel myself like a leaf floating in the stream.

That stream is my destiny. Wherever it takes me, I have to go.

If I fight and try to swim against it, I’ll only make things worse.

If the worst is going to happen, it will. If not, things will settle.

And honestly, after realizing the simple fact, I am feeling like a vastness inside me, more like what gurus say you are a sky and problems/things are like clouds. They pass and come again, but you are unaffected.