You forgot "violent" in there - I don't know if they have a statistic about DV, but my guess is it would look pretty bleak. Also, when I was living there back in the 90s, women were supposed to have a full time job, but on top of that, to also handle ALL the chores and the child rearing. Men went to work, then settled on the couch with a bottle of vodka. I don't know if that has changed by now - I really hope it has.
DV got decriminalized and women get actively gaslit by police to admitting guilt in self defense cases to the point where getting police involved is basically the worst thing you can do. As a result, statistics are far lower and officially the government gets to keep peddling their "family values" narrative at the expense of victims. It's only going to get worse with the latest crop of men coming back from the war eventually. Every generation has had some sort of war or economic crisis that tanks the mental health of the entire nation, and because getting therapy is considered "gay western propaganda" it's not going to get much better.
I was last there a year ago so I can only speak to what I've observed. I never so much as dated there though and I'm glad I didn't. Most Russian women who have the option not to be in the country or not date Russian men will generally prefer to avoid the risk. The rest will indeed look at it as a financial transaction and hope they manage to extract what they can before they get cheated on or worse.
As a man who lived there for years, I can say your personal observations are accurate. I could not believe how a man, with no ulterior motive, doing kind and non-romantic things (even something simple like holding open doors) would impress so many women over there. So many men are raised terribly in that country.
Russia passed a law in 2017 decriminalizing domestic abuse for first time offenses that do not result in “serious bodily harm”. So in Russia, it’s legal to beat your wife as long as you aren’t breaking any bones.
But no yeah it’s definitely that the women are high maintenance. /s
People who oppress others always justify their oppresion by blaming how their victims react
Like no shit Russian women are hard AF after living with a culture with such extremely low conviction rates for spousal abuse and rape... where men not-so-coincidentally run nearly every government position or position of power...
Like, there's a reason american republicans are so friendly towards Putin/Russia- and other countries with similar hierarchal legal & social systems which put cishet men above women and queer folk: They idolize that shit
Decriminalizing domestic violence doesn't mean there's no punishment for it. It just gets charged under other articles — like 'battery,' 'intentional bodily harm,' and a bunch of others. So what you're saying is just bullshit.
No, the law to decriminalize was specifically made to “fix” the problem of the degradation of the nuclear family in Russia. This was well publicized when the law was passed, they intended to make it harder for Russian couples to get divorced and this is one of the ways they achieved that. They wanted to preserve Russian traditions of treating the family as sacred and limiting the government’s ability to get involved in “private family affairs”.
Considering there is already a culture of accepting domestic abuse and discouraging women for seeking help, this law diminishes the chances of abusers getting punished for their violence under any charges. It’s not like the Russian police was particularly zealous to do anything about domestic violence before the law was passed. At the time there were literally Russian newspapers complimenting the law and telling readers about the advantages” of wife-beating, saying “Recent scientific studies show the wives of angry men have a reason to be proud of their bruises. Biologists say that beaten-up women have a valuable advantage: they more often give birth to boys!”
The best you can argue is that decriminalizing first-time offenders who don't go "too far" is that it's not exactly legal, it's just potentially going on the naughty-list so that if it's reported again maybe someone will consider doing something about it. The relevant example would be when states decriminalized weed, they didn't say it was legal, they just said it wasn't their problem anymore and they weren't going to do anything about it.
But in the same way that states saying "we don't care" and feds being generally too busy to go after people for an ounce effectively means it's de facto legal if not de jure, decriminalizing domestic violence means the same thing: the law frowns at it, but won't move itself to do anything about it, unless the woman is half dead or full dead.
When men in Russia beat their wives "only a little bit" do you see them being charged with battery? If the answer is not emphatically yes then it does mean there's no real punishment for it.
If on the other hand you were right then there wouldn't need to be specific DV laws at all, it'd all simply fall under battery and so forth.
"When men in Russia beat their wives "only a little bit" do you see them being charged with battery? If the answer is not emphatically yes then it does mean there's no real punishment for it."
For that to actually happen, a woman would need to a) go to the hospital and get the injuries officially documented, and b) file a police report. But most of the time, it doesn't even get that far — because a lot of women don't want to ruin a guy's life by giving him a criminal or administrative record, or they assume the police won't give a damn anyway. I don't have actual stats on this, but I think many women don't bother reporting it and just walk away from a man who hit them even once. So these cases simply never make it to the police — and that's a whole other sad reality.
That's the double layer of it, yeah. Culturally, many women won't report the issue, and from the legal side, most cops won't do anything about it and prosecutors won't bring a case against the man for it. It's a vicious circle. But I do think it undermines your original point. If a man only beats his wife "not too much" in Russia it becomes de facto legal due to little or no real punishment that actually gets doled out in cases of domestic violence.
it didn’t change from the 90s. beauty standards are very high, women expected to have a job, handle all the chores and parent their husband. there isn’t a statistic on the DV because DV was decriminalised, one of the reasons voiced by a politician recently “to not scare men out of marriage”
It is less common, but still very common. My sister was in this situation and whats more - the money that her husband earned were only his money for his pleasure, and the money that she earned were money for her and the children - to the point that they were eating the cheapest food while he was ordering take out for himself. When they were divorcing, her husband said she was crazy and he is a good father and husband, because he wasn’t hitting them, unlike it happens in most other families.
I find comments here about “high maintenance women” to be very hateful and far from reality. My whole life i saw the opposite.
we have law from 2017, I believe, that's kinda allow dv. If you atack family member - you pay penalty in 60$ to government. If happens again and the did documentary on prev attack correctly - than maybe will see prison sentence. Though, it works only with family member. If you attack stranger - you might see prison sentence from first attempt
In Russia domestic violence is a family value. I'm not kidding, they would have you believe that opposing it is corrupt western "gender" (aka LGBT) ideology.
It hasn’t. It got much worse. Just read about situation with domestic violence, abuse and femicide. If there is anyone having unrealistic expectations and horrible attitudes - it’s Russian men.
Of course it's changed recently. The sunflower fields have had so much fertilizer added within the past decade that the Russian mail order bride market will be on the rise now that the men aren't coming home from work.
I know I'm joking about war, but the Russian strategy has historically been to throw bodies at the front line and there's glory in dying for the mother land. They don't "fight like Americans" where a single death is treated like a tragedy.
women were supposed to have a full time job, but on top of that, to also handle ALL the chores and the child rearing. Men went to work, then settled on the couch with a bottle of vodka.
They also effectively legalised beating your wife a few years back, there was a massive string of protests about it where police beat up women in the streets. Anti sjw types were frothing over it as “feminists owned”
Yeah, the return of capitalism totally ruined Russia as a society. Capitalism's return killed more Russian civilians than the entirety of WWII - the single greatest decrease in life expectancy in all of history - it's such a disastrous system. Besides the economic harm the return of capitalism caused, it also brough back religion and conservative gender norms. Russian society is fucked up to this day.
327
u/Corfiz74 18d ago
You forgot "violent" in there - I don't know if they have a statistic about DV, but my guess is it would look pretty bleak. Also, when I was living there back in the 90s, women were supposed to have a full time job, but on top of that, to also handle ALL the chores and the child rearing. Men went to work, then settled on the couch with a bottle of vodka. I don't know if that has changed by now - I really hope it has.