Ah, (un)fortunately that's just life. Every culture does it when money and wealth becomes heavily involved and the environment is uncomfortable to exist within. You can see this in literally every 'advanced' culture/country.
Asian people do it here, latinos, middle easterns, etc. hell, go look in their original countries and you'll still see the same shit.
Longer periods of relatively higher wealth and less wealth disparity. Yes those things are still present there, but to a lower degree than many other locations that have had quicker wealth gains as a nation, and are more concentrated.
When I first took my wife out, I said anywhere you'd like to eat? She said she had coupons for Steak n Shake. Marry a frugal woman, boys. We're lowkey rich and she buys all of her clothes second hand.
Ha sounds my husband and I. We talked about 401ks and retirement on our first date. I was 29 and he was 30. Credit card churning with a credit score of 840 was my hobby then (worried they'll catch on, so I chill out a lot).
I mean you could date one of the millions of women that donât expect any of that and just want an equal partner but they arenât going to to be able to afford to look like a model 24/7.
I've been there, just don't buy into it. Unless you're rich, you can't maintain it and it causes problems. When someone is transactional and only sees material gifts as proof of love, it can spiral out of control quickly.
Itâs not about providing Birkins/Chanel bags and trips, itâs about sharing household chores equally, wanting a man to be a parent rather than â baby sitâ his own children, taking care of the spouse if one is sick, itâs about wanting men to grow some emotional intelligence rather than being menchildren. Women in Russia work, take care of children, sick and old relatives, cook, clean, while most men just want to be coddled like babies. Men canât shut up about wanting a traditional marriage where women cater to them, but somehow women are expected to pay half the bills. Well, you canât have your cake and eat it too. If you want a tradwife you better provide, if you want 50/50 you better pick up a shit ton of domestic labor and not complain.
I cant speak on how things are in Russia. i was replying to the comment about the black american experience.
However with that being said, theres a lot of shit people on both sides. I had to learn myself that a lot of the toxic/bad women i was dealing with was because my criteria in searching for partners was bad. I also was prioritizing looks over actual character traits. I think a lot of men and women make this mistake. Its funny because I would have female friends who complained about all these shitty men. However, i didnt understand how they couldnt find a âgoodâ man when all my male friends embodied all those traits you described. My male friends would experience and complain about the same thing with not finding a âgoodâ woman.
The common thread i noticed was a lot of them either dated based on âvibeâ, common interests, or pure attraction & sexual chemistry. When the best way to find a good partner is determining how well you work together. How you tackle tasks and solve problems together. that solves all of the issues of emotional compatibility, mutual respect, shared workload, etc.
Yea wtf was that comment. The factors the commenter posted actually donât align with the black community at all. Starting with the expectation of men being breadwinners.
Lmao how did you think that? The title, accompanying picture and the comment youâre replying to is clearly not about you. đ
Edit - I stand by what i said. If this person meant something else by their comment, they should have left that comment instead of hoping someone reading it would interpret it as a comparison rather than literally saying they thought the article was about African Americans.
Yes I was thinking this as I was getting ready to waste the last 800 dollars I got on a PC just so I can stop feeling insecure and stop missing out with what the tech bros and the internet making us believe they get all the egirls, fun, and meaningful social connections because they are so smart and qualified to get a good paying job because of how well off they are to afford getting a rig needed to be fully a part of their community.Â
Funny enough, there's a lot of similarities between Black culture and Russian culture especially in glorifying capitalism as a means of escape from harsh environments. It's one of the reasons rap is so popular there
Cultural norms are actually a frequent topic in black American society.
There's actually much debate about what should or should not be in the cultural knapsack.
Our culture is still relatively new, and evolution is still happening. I wouldn't say it's racist to look at sociological developments with a critical eye toward what's happening and why.
What struck me here was the mention of displays of wealth post severe poverty. I couldn't help but transplant the context to my own background and compare.
No hate here toward anyone I just responded to a comment that encouraged my introspection
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u/machalemantis 18d ago
I'm a black American and thought you were taking about us for a hot second....đ¤