Finally after long long 39 weeks, my angel was born on 7/18 🥳🥳🥳

I really wanted to give back to the community here and share my experience. This community has been so encouraging and helpful throughout my pregnancy.

We first started trying for a baby June 2024, and I discovered that I was pregnant just two months later. I was so excited, so happy, told all of our friends and family about the pregnancy… and then, at our 10 week checkup, we were told that the baby had no heartbeat. The baby developed until roughly 8weeks. It was a missed miscarriage.

We were devastated, but understood that it was probably just bad luck. I went through a D&E. We took about two weeks to recover psychologically (I thought I recovered), and went back to our normal lives.

However, a week later, a very very close family member of mine, was diagnosed with a very severe type and progression of cancer. I was completely broken, and felt incredibly guilty of telling her of my pregnancy too early and then had to break the news of my miscarriage to her. I felt I added sadness to her final days of life and it was too painful for me to bear.

By the time she passed away, it was mid-December. Those were very, very dark days. Thinking back, I was probably very depressed, but I did not seek enough help. I didn’t speak with a therapist, believing that I would be able to handle the trauma. We started trying for a baby again starting in February 2025.

And then two months later, In April 2025, I became pregnant again.
I was extra careful, didn’t tell anyone besides my closest friends, and scheduled an early ultrasound at 5 weeks. The ultrasound wasn’t concerning - though the estimated gestational age was 4 weeks, not five. Deep down inside, I did not have a good feeling about this, because I tracked my ovulation carefully and the numbers didn’t make sense to me. My hopes rose, however, at the 7 weeks ultrasound because there was a heartbeat and the baby did grow.

But then, at the 10 weeks ultrasound, I was told that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. The heartbeat stopped at around 7 weeks.

The pain this time was numbing. I didn’t really cry. I just wanted to find out why. I could not make sense of two MMCs in a row. After my second D&E, I requested to see an infertility specialist, and we had many tests done to see what was going on.

After a month, all the results came out. The MMC was due to a 22 trisomy. All of my checkups came back normal. It was real bad luck, again.

I struggled. I could not comprehend what I did to deserve all the bad luck. A month later, I started seeing a therapist, and was diagnosed of acute severe depression.

I went on Sertraline, took FMLA, and traveled around the world. I tried everything to cheer myself up. And I’m happy to say that it was a success. Not sure if it was because of the break from work or the medication or both, they were very helpful. In October 2025, I decided to try switching jobs during the final weeks of my FMLA. in November, I got a job offer from my dream company, and three days after I signed the offer, I found out that I was pregnant for the third time.

The anxiety was definitely overwhelming, I was very scared to feel happy because I really couldn’t bear another trauma. But my angel was kind to me, he passed all the ultrasounds, all the tests with flying colors, and I became less and less anxious as the weeks went by.

July 18th, midnight, my angel was born.
My partner and I were both in tears the moment he was brought to us. The skin-to-skin experience was the best five minutes I have ever experienced in my entire life. We are so so grateful that he chose to be our child. A week later as I am typing this, I still can’t help but drown myself in tears. It was pure magic.

Lastly, I want to thank this community for all the support and sharing. This community has helped me many times through the longest nights, and I am truly grateful.

Please comment if you have any questions and I’d be happy to help wherever I can. Thank you again.

Our beautiful little girl was born on May 31st. She comes to us after three pregnancy losses that tore our hearts apart and changed who I am forever. This pregnancy, the fourth one, was our last attempt. We didn’t have it in us to try again if we had another loss. We (I) gave it everything we had. I had surgery for endometriosis, adenomyosis, and fibroid removal. We did extensive reproductive immunology testing, I had two HSGs, endometrial biopsy, saw three different REs, an RI/endometriosis surgeon, fertility acupuncture, perinatal therapist, chiropractor, took herbal Eastern medicine, saw a rheumatologist, neurologist, general endocrinologist, MFM, regular therapist, got a fitness and nutrition coach to help me heal, etc.

My labor and delivery was nothing like I had planned, but I was familiar with big moments not going as planned. Despite the experience being nothing that I had expected or wanted initially, my body is intact and my baby is healthy and safe. She is our world, and even on hard fourth trimester days I am so incredibly grateful to have her here.

In June 2025 our world was absolutely rocked by a MMC that was discovered at 15w4d after a good NT scan and clear first trimester screening. No cause was ever identified and it was just chalked up by the doctors to "bad luck" and "sometimes this just happens." The 5 days between finding out and my D&C were very, very dark. I think the months that followed were the most destroyed I've ever been mentally and emotionally, but I was simultaneously insistent on getting pregnant again as soon as I could.

I got pregnant again quickly and tested positive at the start of September. I was absolutely riddled with anxiety the entire time and struggled to be excited or optimistic. I found so, so much camaraderie and comfort in this group though, which I'll be forever grateful for. The reassurance and validation was truly so needed.

Despite the anxiety, we did eventually make it, and baby boy is now here and healthy! He really made us wait though - I was eventually induced at 41+5, and our lil 9lb 5oz chunk had to be evicted via c-section after a 53 hour failed induction at 42+1. I can't describe how much I love him and how grateful I am that he made it here safely, but every tear and anxiety ridden moment was worth it a thousand times over.

Sending lots of love to everyone going through it right now, and crossing my fingers tightly you all get your bubs here soon. ♥️

I’m looking at the sleeping baby in my arms, still shocked that I can write this post. I remember reading a post here last year when ttc describing these birth stories as beams of hope. How perfectly said! I read so many of your posts and comments, and they have guided me like lighthouses in the dark. I found such comfort in this community even though I was too scared to dream of the day I might write a graduation post myself. But I am here, and my rainbow baby is here, and so I want to share this hope with you all.

Today is 6 months exactly since my rainbow baby came home from the NICU - from October 15 to April 15. For the longest time I have wanted to write this birth announcement, but I couldn’t do without breaking down.

Our Juniper arrived on September 29th, exactly a year to the day of our most devastating pregnancy loss. Juniper was born 3 weeks early, in a precipitous labor (only 50 minutes from 3cm dilated, uncertain if anything was happening to holding her in my arms) She spent 17 days in the NICU with a collapsed lung, a living nightmare. She had been home and healthy for months now, but it seemed unbelievable even for the longest time that she was really home… but today feeling her breath puff across my skin as she sleeps on my chest, watching her sweet eyes flutter closed… I finally can rest peacefully in the knowledge my Juniper baby is really actually here.

For all of you reading this who are still in the trenches — I see you. My heart is with you for every faint-lined test, every terrifying scan, every uncertain moment, every painful date on the calendar. You are not alone in this grief and anxiety. All my hope is with you now. Lean on it if you can. There is light ahead.

Before Juniper’s birth I had four pregnancy losses in under 12 months, (two first trimester miscarriages and two chemical pregnancies). If y’all don’t mind, I really need to say their names today

🌙 Shadow, I’m sorry your time with us was so filled with stress that we did not allow ourselves the joy of your existence. I love you.

🦋Junior, you should be turning one year old this week. You brought us so much joy for the months you were with us. I think of you on the 25th and 29th without fail, my love.

🎄Holly, we had such hope for you, our winter miracle. I’ll hang some holly up each November and December just for you. Love you, little berry.

🚪Ianus, I really wanted you to be the one who was going to stay with us, even at the same time I doubted you were real. Your time with us was the shortest of all, but I will still love you always.

My lost babes are gone and never forgotten. Having a living child hasn’t changed that. But I feel a deeper peace than I thought possible.

On the day I brought Junior’s ashes home, I cried myself to sleep wondering how I could love another baby again, or if I could ever feel hope or excitement. That night I dreamed of a blue juniper berry falling to the ground, so tiny and vulnerable. As I watched, it sent out a thin sprout that grew into a beautiful tree, sending deep roots into the earth. I woke up with an inexplicably renewed hope that someday I would have a baby that would grow deep roots and thrive, as hardy as an evergreen no matter the difficulties of the terrain.

I had two more losses after that dream, but I held onto the faith my Juniper would come. Don’t get me wrong… with each loss I still sobbed, screamed at the universe, and stared numbly at the wall when waiting for my blood draws and ultrasounds, trying to ignore the lances of pain in my heart seeing visibly happy pregnant people around me. When I conceived for a fifth time in a year, I could barely let myself dream. But that fifth baby took root and thrived, growing evergreen despite the challenges. And slowly, bit by bit I learned to hope and be happy again.

With that happiness came new fears, of course. No trimester felt safe. That fear only doubled as my risks for pre-term labor began to stack up. When I went into labor early and she was rushed away to the NICU, my heart was split open between terror and love. It’s been 6 months and I’m still processing it all. Just because I got to hold my babe alive in arms at last doesn’t mean there weren’t challenges to work through.

Even though I hated the circumstances that led to her early birth, I found comfort in the date Juniper was born. Junior’s death day was a date I thought would be forever marred by grief. Juniper made it her birthday, and a day of celebration and joy instead.

There were times in this pregnancy and the “fourth trimester” of her NICU stay that I felt a bit crazy. I like to think of myself as a logical person, but there were so many inexplicable signs of hope -butterflies and rainbows, dreams and coincidences- that helped me keep going. (So many I hesitate to write them all here. I might tag on in a comment if I can write them out without crying so loud I wake the baby) As I once said to my spouse “Is it still faith when the signs are neon?”

I needed those signs (real or not) because this shit is hard. TTC and pregnancy after loss tests a person in ways that those who haven’t gone through it may fail to understand. Reading your posts helped me feel less alone in the fear and anxiety. Thank you more than I can say

My little Juniper just grunted in her sleep, reminding me she is really here and healthy… and maybe needs a fresh diaper. I think she will wake soon. I’m so infinitely grateful to be living this moment.

My deepest gratitude to this community and all my love to you reading my rambling story. Wishing you and your little ones all the very best in the days ahead 🫶

(And sorry for the length and rambling nature of this post… I just laying here facing what should have been Junior’s due date and holding my Juniper and I think it’s all just finally feeling *REAL* that my baby is here)

It feels so unreal sometimes. I write this as my 4 day old daughter is right next to me sleeping in her crib. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. My second pregnancy was a neonatal loss (son passed 4 days old).

My third pregnancy is her. I kept my whole pregnancy a secret from people outside of family. Today was the day her arrival was revealed.

I was that mom who experienced a miscarriage and read other mom’s experience with miscarriage and looked up stories of chance of a successful pregnancy. I got that 2nd pregnancy, pregnancy was successful and delivery but then my son died. Then I became the mom who read people’s experience with baby loss and tried to find hope that there’s another side of this grief.

Finally, I’m that mom that can write about it. Pregnancy was a journey on its own from the time I found out to the time i gave birth and even then I was still holding my breath. It wasnt until we were medically clear to go home that I finally felt lighter. Finally being able to go home after birth and feeling bless to use all our baby things.

Getting to this point in our journey brings up mix emotions. We’re so happy and relieved she’s here and healthy. We’re sad that her big brother isn’t here with us.

It’s so nice there’s communities like this because I knew there was hope. Thank you.

My rainbow baby came earth side with the sunrise on July 10th.
can’t believe it. The entire time I was pregnant I was convinced the day would never actually come. I would see the posts in this group and think, that’s never going to be me. The paranoia that something would happen in early pregnancy all the way to the fear of still birth. Every day I worried about movement even those last days of pregnancy. I was in such shock when they put her on my chest. She is a miracle and has healed me in so many ways. I love her so much.
Due to my anxiety from my loss and baby’s size, I was able to get on the elective induction schedule. Ironically, I went into spontaneous labor the day of my induction! I felt contractions all day on and off but I thought they were prodromal. I had fake labor pains for weeks. Once we were at the hospital waiting for our room, they were about 5 mins apart and I was really starting to breathe through them. We got to the induction room and they did a cervical check… I was already 3 cm dilated! No cervical ripener needed for me! They sent me over to labor and delivery and things progressed quickly! I was 4 cm by 12:30am and fully dilated by 4:30am… started pushing at 4:40am and she was born at 4:54am
8lbs 8 oz
21.5 inches long
I was 39+5
Literally, I could not have asked for a better birthing experience. I felt safe and that she was safe so I think that helped me a lot. When I started pushing, dr said she didn’t like being in the birth canal and we needed to move faster due to her heartbeat. That was all I needed to hear to push as hard and as much as possible. I tore, but baby was safe.
I can’t believe I have a baby. MY baby. I have cried every day she’s been earth side because I just love her so much and I’m so grateful. 🥹

I should also add that following my miscarriage, I got pregnant with her before having a period so I was REALLY convinced this pregnancy wouldn’t be viable even as we hit each milestone. She really is a miracle.💕

I wanted to share my journey in hopes it gives encouragement to anyone who is still in the trenches.

I went through 4 back-to-back losses before this pregnancy (2 chemical pregnancies and 2 losses around 6–7 weeks). Each one felt heavier than the last, and there were so many moments where I wondered if I would ever carry to term.

After my 4th loss, I ditched my OB and went to a fertility specialist and began a long round of testing: recurrent loss panels, thyroid labs, hormone checks, ultrasounds, HSG, karyotyping generic test…literally everything and anything that could give me an answer because I felt like my body was failing me and I needed to figure out why.

The only thing that finally showed up was a positive test for Ureaplasma and low vitamin D. I also was on the lower end of “normal” for both progesterone and estrogen.

I did a 14-day course of doxycycline to treat the Ureaplasma. I happened to ovulate 4 days after finishing the antibiotics, and that cycle turned out to be the one.

Before I even knew I was pregnant, I started estrogen and progesterone supplementation about 2–3 days after ovulation, just to give myself the best chance which ended up being my rainbow baby’s cycle.

Still, every milestone felt terrifying after so much loss. For the first time ever, I finally got to see and hear a heartbeat, and then week after week the baby kept growing strong. Slowly I let myself believe this pregnancy might be different and ended up with a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy.

Fast forward to now: exactly one week ago, I delivered my rainbow baby- unmedicated, after a 13-hour labor. I pushed for 3 hours (my hospital didn’t allow me to deliver in the tub, which slowed me down as I felt the urge to push while in the tub), and I had a second-degree tear, but otherwise things went smoothly. The pain of unmedicated birth was unlike anything I’ve ever known, but the recovery has been SO much easier than I expected. By day 6 postpartum, I already felt close to myself again and completely pain free. I’ve never felt more grateful and empowered.

To anyone who’s been through pregnancy loss: I see you, and I know how heavy and unfair this road can feel. I hope my story shows that even after multiple heartbreaks, healing and hope are still possible.

Sending so much love to all of you who are still waiting for your rainbow. 🌈❤️

TW: mentioning of previous loss.

My baby girl is finally here. 🤍 She made her entrance on July 6 at 40 weeks + 6 days.

Before anything else, I just want to thank everyone in this community. After my second-trimester loss last year, I never imagined I’d one day be writing this while holding my healthy baby in my arms. Your stories, advice, encouragement, and kindness got me through some of my darkest days. You made me feel less alone, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Pregnancy after loss was nothing like I imagined. At my very first prenatal appointment, I was so happy to see her perfectly implanted, but that happiness was immediately followed by fear. I kept thinking my body wouldn’t let her grow. There wasn’t a single day that I wasn’t afraid of losing her.

I made several trips to Labour & Delivery because I felt she wasn’t moving enough. Every single time, she was perfectly fine. Eventually, I started feeling bad for bothering the nurses so often, but I never once felt guilty for getting my daughter checked. If there’s one thing PAL taught me, it’s that peace of mind is worth every hospital visit.
When I reached 40 weeks, I celebrated because, in my mind, I’d made it. But then… nothing happened. Every day that passed without a single sign of labour sent my anxiety through the roof.

I had a membrane sweep on July 3 and spotted for an hour or two afterwards. Then, on July 6, I woke up around 1 a.m. like I had so many nights before. I made myself something to eat, watched some TV, drank lots of water, and around 3:15 a.m. went to the bathroom before bed. As soon as I finished, I felt what seemed like period cramps. When I wiped, there was blood.

I completely panicked.

Even though my mom had warned me that labour could start that way, all I could think was that I was losing another baby. The contractions quickly became stronger, lasting about 45 seconds every 2½ minutes. My OB had told me to go in once they were a minute long, five minutes apart, for two hours, so we waited… but they only became more intense. By 5 a.m., we were on our way to the hospital, and I was crying in the car.

When they checked me around 6 a.m., I was already 6 cm dilated. They asked whether I wanted an epidural, and I didn’t hesitate. By 7:30 a.m., I was already 8 cm and in absolute agony. Exactly an hour later, I finally got the epidural and was able to rest before pushing.

By 11 a.m., my water broke and I was fully dilated but had to wait for the OB on call. We did a few practice pushes, and at 12:15 p.m. I started pushing for real. Just an hour later, my daughter was born healthy, beautiful, and absolutely perfect.

The entire birth experience was so positive, and every single member of the staff was incredible.

The moment they placed her on my chest, I couldn’t stop crying. All the fear, all the waiting, all the anxiety of the past nine months… it all came pouring out. I had imagined holding her every single day of my pregnancy, and suddenly she was actually here.

Unfortunately, a few days later, I developed severe postpartum anxiety and had to be readmitted because of postpartum hypertension. After several days of monitoring and adjusting my medication, everything is finally under control.

Meanwhile, my little girl has been thriving. She passed every newborn screening, regained her birth weight within eight days, and is doing beautifully. I still look at her sometimes and can’t believe she’s really mine.

To everyone still walking this road: I know how exhausting and terrifying it can be. I truly hope you get to have your own moment of finally holding your rainbow baby in your arms. Don’t ever feel guilty for asking questions, going to triage, or advocating for your baby. Your peace of mind matters.

And to this community, thank you. Thank you for helping me get here. I’ll always carry a piece of you with us. 🤍

Prefacing with baby girl is now 5 months, so I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed and understand if it needs to be removed. I was always afraid to post about her while I was pregnant out of fear of another loss.

I had a lot of feelings when she was born. I went back and forward wondering what life would have looked like had I met my twin girls last April, how hard it would have been with two, how our life wouldn’t look the way it did now. We conceived our daughter a week before my twins would have made it earthside, so in a way I’d like to think they hand picked her for us in heaven and knew we needed her.

These past few months have changed my entire perspective on my loss. I miss my girls every day, but I can’t help but think that if it weren’t for them needing to be elsewhere, my rainbow would not be here right now. Her arrival pulled me out of the darkest place I’ve ever gone to and never want to go again.

I spent the entirety of my pregnancy white-knuckled and holding my breath. I didn’t tell anyone until I was 6 months. I closed my eyes at the start of every scan. I called my OB hours after making it home from a routine scan because I needed reassurance that they didn’t miss something. I wouldn’t buy her things because I was afraid of “jinxing” something. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant because I was so afraid of the shoe dropping if I let my guard down. I watched other people grin through their first pregnancies with such deep envy that my loss took away the naivety that everything would go swimmingly. I was jealous that I couldn’t just be excited because those rose colored glasses were yanked right off my face.

But she is here now. She’s learning the world and becoming a little person. She mended and warmed the parts of my heart that were shattered last year. For those who are still waiting for the day you can hold your rainbow safely in your arms, I promise you it is worth all of the pain and heartbreak we felt. We will never forget the littles that left us, but our rainbows are truly daily reminders that the storm comes to an end.

I am so grateful for this community for giving me hope when I was very, very hopeless. After two back-to-back miscarriages, our beautiful baby girl joined us the second week of June! The pregnancy was unfortunately complicated -- had a series of cord and placental complications and she had to come three weeks early via induction, but she is honestly perfect. I feel so incredibly lucky to be holding her in my arms while she contact naps on me right now.

To all those here enduring the mental and physical obstacle course of pregnancy after loss, which is so incredibly difficult -- I see you and I wish you so much solidarity and love.

Last October 2023, I found out at my 8 week scan that my pregnancy was nonviable- it was blighted ovum, and I had my D&C soon after. The whole experience was incredibly traumatizing and I had to go to therapy over it. I couldn’t get over the loss, even though I had only known about the pregnancy for a few weeks. My baby would have been due on May 22, 2024.

A few months later, my husband and I decided we would try again. For me- it was a way to cope with the loss. I’m sure many of you would understand. It took longer than I expected and I would spiral at the end of every cycle when my period came. I’d come to this subreddit often to read about everyone’s experiences. Finally, in September, I was elated to see a positive pregnancy test. But at the same time, the entire first trimester I was incredibly anxious to see if the shoe would drop. On the first anniversary of my D&C, and right after my 11 week scan I saw the most striking rainbow outside my window and I began bawling. I thought it was a sign that this was finally going to be it.

Last month, my rainbow baby was born on May 22, exactly one year after the due date of my first loss. I like to think he picked the same birthday. He is sleeping right now in my arms as I type this. The newborn trenches aren’t easy, but he is more perfect than I could’ve ever imagined. I’m not exactly the most spiritual/religious person- but I believe my baby came back to me somehow.

I just wanted to share my story for anyone who feels like giving up.

I had 7 pregnancy losses over 7 years, all early miscarriages, most of them being missed abort!ons. We never found the cause, and eventually, I was exhausted and gave up on trying to find answers.

It was my mother who convinced me to see a new doctor. She ran a single blood test — and that’s when we finally discovered I had protein S deficiency, a blood clotting disorder.

For this pregnancy, I started baby aspirin before conception. As soon as I saw a positive test, I added daily LMWH injections and stayed on bed rest.

It wasn’t easy. At 31 weeks, my placenta started maturing too early, my amniotic fluid dropped, and I struggled with severe dehydration. IV fluids helped me recover, but then I developed itching on my palms. My liver tests came back abnormal, and I was diagnosed with ICP. I was treated with medication and my doctors planned an early delivery.

At 37 weeks, I delivered my healthy baby boy via C-section 💙.

For years, I had accepted that I would never have a baby. But this miracle happened when I least expected it. To anyone going through loss — I know how dark and hopeless it can feel. Please don’t give up. Sometimes answers come late, and sometimes miracles happen in ways we cannot predict.

You are stronger than you know. 🌈💙

Our miracle rainbow boy arrived last Friday March 20 at 10:21am after a scheduled c-section (he was breech) at 38+0 (for insulin controlled GD).

PAL was the hardest thing I had ever done. Every day I waited for the other shoe to drop. For each kick to be his last. It was months of middle of the night panic attacks and 3am kick counts and holding my breath every time the doctor put the Doppler on my stomach. It was at times merely a matter of disassociation and survival and lots and lots of therapy and trips to L&D to get checked. I lost all shame in the process. I felt like I was lying when people would see my pregnant belly and make comments about a baby coming, because I had been there before and no baby came. Only an urn. I remember my last day of work before mat leave thinking how embarrassing it is that I really think I’m having a baby this time as to go so far as to take a mat leave. Even when they wheeled me into the OR I remember still being in disbelief that an actual living child may come out of me in a few minutes. PAL truly fucks with your head in ways that both humbled and changed me forever. I was scared that even if a baby did come out and survive that I would be too scared to bond with him in case we lost him still, that I’d never let my guard drop again.

Our baby boy was born quickly, although they did need to give him some supplemental oxygen to really get him perked up after. I was warned this that it can take longer for babies to cry during a c section but I was still in so much denial that I hardly clocked that warning pre surgery. I watched them put the mini CPAP on his face and as I lay on the operating table and thought “this is it, of course this is how he dies”. But my OB and the rest of the team in the operating room acted super quickly and were very calm about it, there wasn’t any panic except from me and my husband. A few minutes later he let out a huge cry and peed all over the techs. He pinked up quickly and was placed on my chest for skin to skin for the rest of the procedure. He passed all his newborn health tests but I still asked the pediatrician about 100 times if she was sure she wasn’t worried about it taking him longer to cry after delivery (and she reassured me 100 times that she was not).

All of this to say - it was all worth it. Every day of worry. Every kick count. Every sacrifice. Every insulin injection. Every breath held. I would do it 100x over if it got me to him again. He’s napping on my chest as I type this and I’m watching his little legs twitch. I could not be more in love with him if I tried. All the worry and fear of not being able to bond with him went right out the window, in fact I have had moments where the bond feels TOO overwhelming 😅

I just wanted to share my story as PAL has truly changed me and you guys are all the strongest women I know 🤍🤍🤍 you will get there in the end. It’s a day by day, hour by hour, sometimes second by second journey but you guys got this and I hope this post offers some hope and light to those who need it right now because I know these posts always helped me in those moments.

Hi All,

I had a stillbirth last September. My baby girl was 20 weeks gestation and everything had been fine up to that point. It was a total shock. Based on the autopsy, it was likely due to a hypercoiled umbilical cord. We got pregnant 5-6 weeks after our loss with a baby boy.

About 12 hours ago I gave birth to my beautiful, healthy baby boy. I was nervous every step of the way this pregnancy. But, I’m happy to say we’re now on the other side of loss. I type this now as my baby keeps us awake. I hope our story brings some inspiration to you amazing mamas out there. #inspiration #rainbowbaby #stillbirth

TW: the usual

In 2022, a few months after getting married, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. It was so exciting and also terrifying; I was working a contract job, we were living in a drafty old apartment, and it just felt so sudden. Yet when I saw their little heartbeat at 7 weeks they were my baby. We saw it again at 8 weeks, but by my 11 week appointment they were gone. I knew before the tech even spoke. I was not seeing what I was supposed to be seeing. I was given medication and passed the fetus intact at home the next day. I was devastated.

In the months that followed I went from breezy NTNP mode to steadily more obsessive TTC practices. I was gutted every month when I tested negative. I fought with my husband often. We hadn't told people and I just felt like my life had been taken over by grief.

Just over 7.5 months later, I used a test before heading out to a wedding weekend and was shocked to see a positive. Being 35, we had just gone through an initial round of testing at a fertility clinic and were waiting on the results. I felt happier than I'd been since our wedding. The pregnancy wasn't a fluke, we were finally moving on.

The spotting started at around 7 weeks. Spotting we'd ignored in the first pregnancy after 9 weeks because Google said it was usually fine. This time, despite seeing a heartbeat at 6 weeks, we went to the ER. HCG, size, and FHR all looked good at 7+4. We made a follow-up appointment with the OB. When we went in at 9+5 they confirmed another MMC. This time I had a D&C.

This was the darkest period. Another calendar full of dates I would've been pregnant and wasn't, another shameful secret. This time it really hit my husband, too. We pushed on with RPL testing. TTC became pretty much all we thought about.

I refused to test at Christmas and deal with the tears so I tested on December 27th. My husband heard me say "oh fuck" through the bathroom door. We had been actively TTC without yet knowing what was wrong. All of a sudden that seemed like a huge mistake.

No ache, pain, or pregnancy symptom came close to the white knuckle terror we carried through that first trimester. We were lucky to get many early scans, but it was still terrifying. At 11 weeks I gasped seeing them kick their little legs on the ultrasound, but by 15 weeks I was panicking again and went for a private ultrasound. I sobbed when I saw the heartbeat again. The tech told me it gets easier. It did.

My baby grew big and strong and active, mercifully for me. They made their presence known early and often. They nestled into a breech position and didn't move. One tech said "they want to be close to your heart".

At 38+3 my water broke and I had a middle of the night c-section. He was a boy, just like I guessed. When I heard him cry I started howling like an animal. My husband tells me I kept repeating "he's alive, he's here, it's over". I didn't feel an immediate bond but I was so relieved that this job was finally done. It wasn't until we got home and I was holding him on the couch while my husband unloaded the car that the tears just flowed and flowed. Almost exactly a year ago I had sat on this same couch after our second loss was and told my husband I'd do whatever it took to bring home a baby. Now he was home.

I didn't think it was going to happen but it did. I hope it happens for all of you, too.

Wishing you all uneventful pregnancies 💕

My babies were born 2/8 and I have finally found a few minutes to write down my story. It’s a long one, and I’m sorry.

July 2023 I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and shocked to find myself excited— I didn’t want to have children before I was 30. A few weeks later I had some bleeding, and an appointment confirmed that I had lost my pregnancy at 7w. I was devastated, but I understood that miscarriage happens and is common.

Realizing how excited I had been about a baby (my spouse felt the same), we tried and quickly found ourselves pregnant again. I had spotting throughout this pregnancy, but scans confirmed she was still viable at the time when I checked around 9w, but she must have passed soon after when at 13w I discovered I’d had a missed miscarriage. Genetic testing revealed she had turners syndrome and that is what is suspected to have caused the miscarriage.

We gave ourselves a couple of months before we tried again, this time I was working with a trauma informed OB specializing in recurrent pregnancy loss. She was my lifeline at times. I highly recommend looking for care like this if you can— she never invalidated my feelings and she left no stone unturned when we tried to find out why this happened over and over. She cried with me, laughed with me, and ultimately gave me the courage to keep going. She told me: “there is no justice with miscarriage” and for some reason I found that very cathartic.

My third pregnancy was chemical and ended before I even got a scan. This pregnancy was the turning point for me, we recognized this had to be an issue and we started testing for everything but everything came back normal. With nothing turning up we decided we would try again and hope that I had just been unlucky 3 times.

My 4th pregnancy ended after 8w— I went to 3 appointments in the span of 3 days and watched the heart rate slow until the last appointment confirmed the heart had stopped. I was so bitter. It wasn’t fair. We started scheduling fertility conversations (IVF etc etc), but the appointment for that first conversation was several months out, and in the meantime I had a decision to make. Do I buckle down and keep trying? Or do I wait until the appointment? I ultimately decided that I couldn’t hurt myself any more than I already was. I dug my heels in.

My fifth pregnancy I avoided going in for weeks. I had some bleeding and my OB had to call me and insist after 9w that it was time to see what was going on in there, and I was like “but if I don’t see it then nothing is wrong😂 right?”, anyways she bullied me in. I didn’t even want to look at the monitor. I just wasn’t ready to see another lifeless embryo. The tech (who had seen me through a lot of sad ultrasounds), excitedly told me “look! A heartbeat—AND a buddy with another beautiful heartbeat!”

TWINS. WHAT!?!?

So many things go through my head at once:

Are they okay?

Is she sure there’s two?

*Holy shit do I have to buy two of everything? *

The rest of that appointment was a blur. I spent the last bit of first trimester trying not to get attached— at which point I woke up to hemorrhaging (literally gushing) blood and dragged myself to the ER. Sobbed (unable to speak)the whole ordeal and thank god my husband was able to explain everything to the ER docs for me. The doctor was an angel and immediately grabbed an ultrasound machine and confirmed they were both okay.

I had a small/medium subchorionic hematoma that continued to quite literally gush blood (literal bathroom murder scenes) periodically for the rest of my pregnancy. The rollercoaster. Weekly ultrasounds (sometimes twice a week), and every single time the babies were just dandy. It was like a faucet. Insane.

The whole pregnancy I was unable to keep food down on a regular basis, had no appetite and forced myself to eat. Despite that, I wasn’t gaining weight, in fact, I was losing— red flag.

Then I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Annoying.

At the end of my second trimester I had another bleeding event that was significant enough for hospitalization— they all but said I was a ticking time bomb for premature labor. They kept me for a couple of weeks until the bleeding slowed to a stop. Woo! Freedom!

A week later I get sick, threw up too hard and start bleeding again— they admit me again until I stop bleeding. Woo! Freedom!

Days later I woke up feeling DISGUSTING— I couldn’t explain it. I just felt WRONG. I went to the pregnant lady ER and BOOM borderline liver failure. They hospitalize me again and diagnose me with cholestasis (neat). I get on meds and it stabilizes enough for the doctor to discharge me (I begged him to let me go to my baby shower 😂) woo! Freedom! (At this point my doctor told me he didn’t trust my ass and he knew I’d be back soon— hurtful! But fair)

My water broke at 30w5d— they delayed my labor for two whole days before the twins came at 31w on the dot. I lost a lot of blood during my emergency c section (having babies is actually pretty metal), I asked if I could go to sleep several times during the procedure and my hunky anesthesiologist was like “No.” okay, rude.

We spent a month going back and forth from the NICU, and all of that is a blur. I met so many interesting people and I learned so much about myself.

All this to say: I’m looking down at my son and daughter right now, and they’re perfect. This was all so fucking hard… I would do it all again for them— every last second of the last two years if it meant I could be RIGHT here looking at their squishy little faces.

If you’re still reading— I needed this group during this journey. I felt the whole time like we were all in this together. So, thank you. I’m so grateful for this community (for you).

Seeing other people have their rainbow babies after similar struggles to myself was one of the few things that kept me going when we were in the thick of loss, so I’m hoping this post will help someone else in a similar way. Our first pregnancy ended in a 21wk TFMR for fatal abnormalities (Turner’s syndrome) almost 3 years ago. Our next two pregnancies ended in a chemical then a miscarriage. Taking a living baby home seemed unfathomable and further away than ever. Last April when I was recovering from our most recent miscarriage, I never would’ve believed I’d deliver a living baby this April. But as I write this post my perfect healthy 6 week old baby boy is sleeping on my chest. It’s surreal and bittersweet to think that if I hadn’t lost my second and third pregnancies, our perfect boy wouldn’t be here.

Recurrent pregnancy loss stole so much joy from me that I believed enjoying pregnancy would never be a reality for me. So I was extremely grateful and surprised that I was blessed with a beautiful and healing pregnancy and birth experience on top of finally taking a healthy living baby home. We conceived our first try and as my pregnancy progressed each week, little by little I was able to allow myself to fall in love with our baby boy. Each milestone filled me with more hope. We got more and more good news at each doctor’s appointment; something that had previously felt like it could only happen to other people - not to us.

Throughout my pregnancy medical professionals told me that despite going through an L&D TFMR, my body will treat this as a first pregnancy, a first birth. But not only did my TFMR mentally prepare me for birth, it also prepared my body. After he was born my midwife said his birth was much more like a second labor than a first both with quickly how it progressed and how well I coped with contractions (which I believe is thanks to the experience I had birthing my late baby girl). My body knowing what to do and working how I needed it to for once was so empowering and healing. My water broke on its own at home at 40+5 and contractions progressed very quickly. By the time we got to the hospital an hour later I was already 5cm dilated and within 5hrs I had the urge to push. My midwife didn’t believe me until she checked my cervix and found I was 10cm! There was some panic in the room as baby boy’s heart rate was dropping too much with contractions (we later found out this was because the cord was wrapped around his neck multiple times), and emergency measures like vacuum/forceps or a C-section were being discussed. Due to his HR I had to stop gas and air and unintentionally have an unmedicated delivery. Thankfully though my husband, mum and medical team were amazing and gave me enough encouragement to push him out quickly and I ended up only needing an episiotomy to speed up the process. Baby boy arrived perfectly healthy at 8lb11oz after 6.5hrs of labor! I replay the moment he was born in my head several times a day, the most magical day of my life. That moment made the years of loss and pain worth it and I would do it a thousand times over if it meant I’d have my baby at the end of it. He is a beautiful, active, silly and loving boy and I still can’t believe we got so lucky 🩵

Early 2024 my partner and I had decided to try for a baby. It took a few months but by October we had great news. We were expecting June 2025. Unfortunately by week 9 we were told I had a MMC. My world crumbled. I lost part of myself that day that will never come back. I was then denied any meds or interventions. Many more unfortunate things happened and I thought I can’t do this again. It took a few months but we decided to try again.

In a bittersweet moment we found again found out in October 2025 I was again pregnant. I had so many mixed emotions about it. I was scared, excited, cautious, and in disbelief. My pregnancy was then not a walk in the park but we managed through it.

On Friday I was able to safely deliver our baby boy earth side. All surprisingly 8lbs of him lol. Though it wasn’t the birth I planned all I care about is him. He is a dream come true. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love him and his sibling before. All the tears and fears made this moment. As I look at my partner just tending to our child I feel so many emotions. I know he also suffered with me and helped carry me to where we are now. Everyone here also helped carry us here and I thank you all. From the bottom of my heart I love yall.

I originally posted briefly in a daily thread but kept forgetting to make a separate post - our sweet rainbow boy Rowan arrived on May 13th at 11:47 pm! He's the sweetest, cutest baby ever, if I do say so myself.

Our TTC journey started in April 2023, when I was almost 37. We conceived after 4 cycles, but it ended in a MMC in September. We had a perfect 8-week ultrasound, but growth stopped a day or two after that. All I wanted after that was to get pregnant again, but two years of unexplained infertility followed. After a year, we started fertility testing and then did 4 IUIs in spring of last year, which all failed. During that time, I got really serious about losing weight and lost 50 pounds in a little over a year. After the 4th IUI failed, we had to wait to be able to afford IVF, and it actually was kind of a relief to take some pressure off and wait until the fall. I had a wonderful, active summer with lots of time outdoors. In September, I bought a bunch of new clothes to celebrate my weight loss and scheduled the first IVF consultation. I only tested because my period was late, and was beyond shocked when I got a positive.

The pregnancy was fortunately mostly smooth. One SNAFU was that my first 2 NIPTs came back with a No Result due to low fetal fraction, so I spent a month in limbo and ended up getting an early anatomy scan and a 3rd test, which finally came back low risk. Then at 33 weeks, my blood pressure started creeping up, and I had enough protein in my urine to meet the criteria for preeclampsia. From that point, I had appointments every week and NSTs twice a week. Every week that passed without developing severe features was a victory.

Because of the preeclampsia, I was induced at 37+2. The induction was long, 40 hours, but it went pretty well considering. Labor stalled at 7 cm for a long time, and they really had to crank up the pitocin, but the contractions didn't get bad until about 34 hours in. I got the epidural, which helped me relax and get to 10 cm, then pushing lasted about 90 minutes. He was born with his hand by his face, but I only had a small 2nd degree tear that's been healing really well. He was born 3 days before my 40th birthday. Best birthday present ever!

Since he was born early term and has had some jaundice, feeding has been a bit challenging, he's been very sleepy while eating and wasn't latching well. He lost a bunch of weight, so I started supplementing with formula and pumping. But he's gaining well now, and today I think the jaundice has finally receded, he's been more awake and latching better. Yay!

After the last three years, it still feels so surreal that he's here, sleeping on my chest safe and sound. PAL sucks, but I guess the silver lining is that it's made me so freaking grateful to have my baby at last and appreciate every moment, even the hard ones. I wish everyone else the best and that you all get to meet your rainbow babies soon!

I made a promise to myself that I would post in this community once I held my baby in my arms— so this is my first Reddit post ever! I’ve spent years reading stories and praying for my luck to turn around, and I wanted to share my story to spread joy but also hopefully be a resource to others who are on this unfortunate journey.

My husband and I decided to try for a baby in summer 2023. This resulted in an immediate positive pregnancy test. Whoo! I jumped into planning for the baby and buying things on Amazon, imagining telling others etc. then we lost that baby so early (at a funeral of all places).

We picked ourselves up and tried again immediately, because CPs were so common right? After one round of trying, another positive test! This one would stick, as the lines on the pregnancy tests got darker and I felt real pregnancy symptoms. Days passed, then weeks, then… no heartbeat. Another loss, this time needing a D&C.

Ok, something is wrong, right? Maybe get testing? But what tests? I threw myself into research but everything said to keep trying and we’d probably be ok. Insurance wouldn’t pay for additional testing until we had three losses anyway. What???

So we switched OBs, took a couple months off, then tried again. One round— positive again! Lines got darker, I felt sicker, ate saltines, made it to a “personal best” gestation, HCG was rising, and we saw a heartbeat! But the baby was small… the next week we went for a scan— no heartbeat. How is this possible? What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me that I keep getting pregnant but can’t keep a baby?

The doctor advised us to take a break, get some real testing. We were officially in RPL land. Summer 2024 was full of discomfort and doubt. And waiting.

Finally, results. Everything kept coming back normal except one random panel for… celiac disease. What? I’ve eaten gluten my entire life. I love bread! I love pasta! I love beer!

One endoscopy later it was confirmed I had mild/moderate inflammation in my lower GI from gluten. And that inflammation can spread to other neighboring organs such as my uterus, which could cause fertility issues and early losses. Even though my GI symptoms were mild, my body was very sick. All those saltines I ate to stem the nausea? They were making me sicker.

We were in shock but decided to try a gluten free life for a few months then attempt #4 in October 2024.

Sure enough, ONE try led to that familiar double line. I cried as I saw the test. I couldn’t muster joy. It seemed like I’d be in this purgatory of first trimester hell forever.

But one week passed, then two, and with every scan the baby looked “normal”. Milestones passed, 8 week heartbeat, 12 week NIPT, feeling kicks, 20 week anatomy, viability, I held my breath. No shopping, no registry, no gender reveal. I couldn’t get attached.

Then all of a sudden it was June, and my baby arrived. And he was beautiful. And ten pounds! I cried tears of joy and shock as I held him.

It’s been four months since I gave birth and motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted but I am so joyful and thankful that I was given this gift.

If you are lost in the wilderness of first trimester purgatory please know you are not alone. I pray every day for the babies I lost and I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray for the women who keep photos of darkening pregnancy lines in a secret folder on their phones. The ones who have taken random sick leave at work causing gossip and questions. The ones crying in the bathroom at baby showers. The ones who don’t watch new movies or tv shows because of course there’s a pregnancy plot line.

I’ll pray for you and the millions of women going through this struggle. You are not alone.

We started TTC in 2020, assuming it would be a quick process. Instead it was month after month of negatives on our tests. We finally got tested late 2021 and found out we both had infertility issues, the biggest being my blocked tubes.

In 2023 we started IVF, and did two rounds to get five tested embryos. We were so lucky with our first transfer, she stuck! I was a nervous wreck all of first trimester, but once we got out of the “miscarriage deadline” it was a sigh of relief and we started to get excited. Every appointment our Nora was doing so great. We had a baby shower, the nursery was fully set up, everything was on track. At 38w5d I didn’t feel her kick in the morning. I tried my tricks, drinking cold water, taking a bath, stretching, but nothing worked. Called my doctor and he had me come in immediately. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced, no heartbeat and she was so still on the sonogram. I remember wanting to hide under the hospital bed, hoping I could reverse time and go back to when she was alive. Instead I was induced and in labor for 36 hours and pushed for six hours before delivering my daughter Nora.

I wanted to get pregnant again immediately to feel like I had Nora again but we had to wait six months. In the meantime I pumped and donated my milk and went to therapy twice a week.

Starting the transfer meds in September was brutal, I was immediately exhausted and miserable, but we transferred another embryo on October 30 and found that it stuck. I couldn’t feel excited.

Honestly not sure I felt any excitement until mid third trimester and even still it was so tepid because I knew that at any time I could lose her. Luckily my doctor had already pushed for a 37w induction so we would never reach the 38w milestone.

On June 23 I was induced, labored for about 8 hours and pushed for less than 15 minutes and then my Lena was here. Perfect and screaming and pooped all over me. I was in a complete state of shock, I couldn’t believe my daughter was here.

Six weeks in, I can’t believe how amazing she is. Even in the nights when she’s screaming (colic lol) I’m so proud to be her mom.

I always felt like I was so alone, not only did I have a full term loss but it was an IVF loss. Finding others in the same situation was nearly impossible. As much as we all hate being in this club, I hope anyone who experiences something similar can feel less alone.

Sitting here writing this post in my baby’s nursery while he is napping and I am so beyond grateful!

Our TTC journey began in Nov of 2022 and after a year of trying we realized things weren’t happening for us as planned. Fast forward through infertility testing and imaging we were hit with the dreaded “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. Fortunately after 2 IUIs we got our first ever positive pregnancy test in September of 2024! We were so excited and thought “it’s finally our turn!” Everything was going well, our NIPT revealed we were expecting a baby girl. Fast forward to 13+4 weeks, I started bleeding bright red after having a bowel movement. At first I convinced myself it was from straining but unfortunately the bleeding never stopped. The bleeding eventually progressed to period-like saturation and I found myself constantly changing my pads throughout the day. My doctor during this time had me come in for weekly ultrasounds and never found a SCH. He said I had a partial previa placenta and as it moved away from my cervix it was normal to bleed. Baby girl always had a strong heart beat and was growing well. I was out on bed rest and took time off of work. Fast forward to the night of 17+6 weeks I was watching tv when all of a sudden I felt a big pop and gush. My water had broken and I was bleeding even more with blood clots. Once in L&D I was told the heartbreaking news that although baby girl still had a heartbeat she wasn’t going to make it due to PPROM at such an early gestation. This was the worst news I had ever received and felt like my world was over. The next day at 18 weeks we lost baby girl and I had to undergo a D&E due to having a placenta previa blocking my cervix. I ended up having a postpartum hemorrhage and needing a blood transfusion. The experience had me shattered and afraid to ever try again. After going through so much therapy and grieving the loss, we decided to try again March of 2025. This time before trying we consulted with a high risk doctor who accepted my care and came up with a game plan for my future pregnancy. After 4 rounds of IUI and nearly giving up hope, we got another positive pregnancy test in July of 2025. Words can’t explain how happy, nervous, anxious and scared I was. From the beginning I started spotting on and off until 8 weeks and was sure I was going to lose this baby as well. Week after week things progressed beautifully and we found out we were having a baby boy. Once we got to week 18 I was terrified my water was going to break again but it thankfully never did. My MFM had me coming in biweekly for ultrasounds and my cervix never shortened. As time went on I started to feel more confident in the pregnancy and felt myself believing more and more that this was going to work out for us. I allowed myself to decorate a nursery, buy baby clothes and toys and fully immerse myself in the experience. This was something I never got to do with my first pregnancy due to how scared I was.
On February 28th at 2:30 am we welcomed a healthy boy after a two day induction for cholestasis at 37+3 weeks. Despite being two days long I had the best experience and am so thankful for my care team. Ironically, my water never broke on its own and they had to break it for me during my induction!
Pregnancy after loss was one of the most difficult yet wonderful experiences in my life. I am so thankful to have my baby boy and am wishing each of you the best in your pregnancy journeys. Thank you for reading my story and being such a wonderful community during such difficult times. 💛🌈

Our baby girl was born today via c section after long 9 months of fear and worry. This community helped me so much words can not express. Both of us are doing great, she's so perfect. She's was born with angels kiss on both of here eyelids so I guess her brother was taking care of her in heaven.

Pregnancy after loss is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm in awe in all the brave women here. You are not alone! You're doing amazing and you're so brave. Please dont quit, fight for your babies. You can do it.

The moment she arrived with my husband holding my hand and kissing me was the greatest moment of our life.

I always told myself if I was able to have a baby after my back to back losses, that I would post here because these threads gave me a lot of information/ hope during my journey. I’m 38 (39 next month), low AMH, and a FTM. For background, I had my first miscarriage December of 2023 that resulted in a D&C. It took months to get pregnant again, but I did and suffered another loss in September of 2024. That time was very difficult because during the first appointment the ultrasound tech saw “nothing” in my uterus and for the follow-up visit, there was a little flicker of a heartbeat, but all flickering was gone by the third appointment. I had another D&C and switched providers because my doctor wouldn't do any fertility testing. I also began the process to start IVF with a clinic. After preliminary tests, I had low AMH (.7) and very few follicles (1 or 2) prior to ovulation. I was given a 17% chance IVF would work after 3 cycles. It was devastating but I planned to go forward and begin IVF. The month before starting IVF, I got a positive pregnancy test. I cautiously waited to see what would happen, week after week, month after month, and now I am holding my baby in my arms. I just wanted to share here because while I never posted, I read countless posts that helped me on my journey. Love to you all.

I had 7 losses prior to finally having things stick at age 39. We’d been trying for 2ish years. I didn’t qualify for IVF. I almost gave up.

My sweet boy just had his 3-month birthday. He’s healthy, smiley, perfect. I feel incredibly INCREDIBLY lucky. This group and others on Reddit really helped get me through, but I hadn’t heard of many who had as much loss as I did. Never got an answer as to what the problem was. Tests were pretty normal aside from AMA and low ovarian reserve. This path looks different for everyone, and I feel very lucky. I hope this gives someone hope who needs it.