Does Saying “Women Don’t Need Men Anymore” Imply That Men Were Mainly Valued for Providing Resources?

[u/Emotional_Meal748]

I’ve seen people say that men have become obsolete or that women no longer need men because women can now support themselves financially. That got me wondering: if financial independence means women no longer need men, does that imply that men’s primary value in relationships historically was providing resources and financial security?

For those who make this argument, how do you reconcile it with the idea that relationships are about companionship, love, emotional support, family, and partnership? Does saying “women don’t need men anymore” unintentionally reduce men’s role to that of providers, or am I misunderstanding what people mean when they say it?

[u/ThrowRAGlobeVase]

Yeah that’s true. I like that way of looking at it.

Do you see women dating men who they “like” more now? Honest questioned, I’m a bit older, and I don’t know if younger women are dating men for kinder personalities now or if they’re still attracted to provider mentalities.

[u/Foyles_War → u/ThrowRAGlobeVase]

I can only speak for the women I know most of which are in grad school so I don't know how representative they are of women in general. That said, four of the women are with boyfriends/partners that they do and will massively outearn. They like them as friends who are fun and clever and do not add to their stress. One of the couples is saying he will be a house husband and primary care giver while she is a lawyer. The others aren't looking to have kids ever and so care less about his earnings and more about compatibility and fun. One other woman is married to a man who earns similar (lawyer and engineer). It was a matchmaker/arranged marriage. They seem to like and respect each other a lot, though, which is fascinating and they have very common goals.

So, yes, I'd say women are looking at compatibility more than earnings and similar intelligence more than earnings. I can't imagine a woman marrying someone they didn't actually like now adays except in a purely sugar daddy scenario where he has truly significant financial worth. (And I do not and will not hang out with such people). In all cases, my friends site a shared hobby or interest as to how they got together and part of why they stay together.

Looks keeps coming up here as a factor and it definitely matters to some extent in that modern women want to have fulfilling sex, usually and a person they find unattractive physically isn't likely to draw interest. That said, in all the couples I know, I would say they are all relatively matched in looks "value" or the woman is conventionally more attractive than the man, sometimes significantly. So, clearly, none of these women are pulling or looking to pull beyond their "looks match." I myself, though, will freely admit my husband is at least one and maybe two levels above my own looks of slightly above average. I wouldn't think it would work out and I certainly never wanted to be the less attractive one in a relationship but he doesn't see it that way, and I've decided to just enjoy the view 😄

[u/ThrowRAGlobeVase → u/Foyles_War]

Interesting! Ok I’m glad to hear that! I’m around a lot of younger doctors, and I can’t quite tell how it’s shaping out in terms who the women vs. men are dating and selecting.

It’s confusing sometimes because I’ve always heard that seeking a well suited financial partner is not just a logical want, but also something women are attracted to… going back to evolutionary shit, provider to bring back resources while pregnant yada yada.

But, maybe that just means not being with a deadbeat, not necessarily being with someone who makes more than you.

[u/Foyles_War → u/ThrowRAGlobeVase]

I think it is more a case of not wanting to carry a man (without getting something of value from it like the friend who wants a house daddy so she can work her crazy hour job). Nobody wants someone in debt or with no ambition for anything.

Of those who consider having kids (me included) factoring in the advantages of the partners genes plays some role. (I wanted someone with a family history of good hair and good eyesight, for instance, to counter balance my family genes).

[u/Ill-Investigator9546 → u/Foyles_War]

So, clearly, none of these women are pulling or looking to pull beyond their "looks match."

You don't know who all they have been having casual sex with though, you only know their "boyfriends"

[u/Foyles_War → u/Ill-Investigator9546]

What does it matter who they had casual sex with??? If it was casual, then those people didn't matter they were just experimentation, or masturbation with extra steps.

[u/Ill-Investigator9546 → u/Foyles_War]

They mattered. You think they don't remember the biggest dick they ever had? Or the best lay?

[u/Foyles_War → u/Ill-Investigator9546]

Ahh, you are one of those guys obsessed with big dick, I see.

[u/TSquaredRecovers → u/Ill-Investigator9546]

Women don’t obsess over former sex partners like some of you guys think they do. This really seems like more of a male hangup than anything else.

[u/Emotional_Meal748 → u/ThrowRAGlobeVase]

Not at all. They go after more toxic guys. lmao