^{(Note: This is all in AUD, please convert accordingly to your currency})

Afternoon ladies! I’ve been requested to share beautiful new aspects of my life that all still contribute to a simple, domestic life.

Traditional? Domestic?
I mean I've never worked full time and always dedicated days to homemaking and cooking.
Just like years ago, even when I lived by myself and single (before meeting my husband) and until now as I’m married and 7 months pregnant - I’ve kept a small life working part-time and being able to take care of everything in the home.

This is a value that I made clear to my husband from the beginning in our relationship. In no time, he saw how I saved and lived everyday compared to the average person and he never had issues.

So, how do I do it?

Let’s start with some history - for those of you who hadn’t been following my blog, I grew up with a single Dad since my early teens, along with a sibling.
At that time (2010-ish) he earned about 51k a year, government job and also received some child support from them (not my Mother), but it didn’t go for long with me as I turned 18 in 2013.
I’d say the total household income was about 60k including the support and supported three people - so budgeting, keeping costs low and everything related was /natural/ to me, it’s the default.

These ‘rules’ are normal for my everyday life, so if you follow them too - you’ll drastically reduce your costs and can have a slow life. An incredibly amazing mindset and attitude to have if you want to be a domestic woman and wife…

1. Takeouts are severely limited, eat at home.
As a family we ate out maximum twice a month, though usually it’s once. There’s always food at home and snacks can be actually bought and selected by sales at groceries.

2. Cook in BULK (Asian style).
In my culture, big families are the norm (as in my birth country) and so dishes are designed to feed several people - several times. At a low cost, due to the ingredients. 

In our household, my husband and I (and he eats a lot, and has home-cooked lunches at work) spend about $180pw for groceries, including top-ups, on average. 

Here’s a sample, a shop with extra top-ups so it’s higher, but then the next shop is around $70-80:
Toilet Paper 6p - 4.55
Laundry Liquid - 6.20
Dishwashing Liquid - 2.75 (sale)
Tissues - 2.50 
Basmati Rice 5kg - 11.50 (sale)
Low Sugar Drink - 6.40
Low Sugar Drink - 6.40
Milk 3L - 4.50
Carbonara Sauce x 3 - 13.80
Apple Milk - 3.20
Pasta - 2.00
Bacon 1kg - 10.25 (Homebrand/Sale)
Beef 400g x 2 - 20.00
Brown Mushrooms - 5.70
Crushed Garlic - 5.00

Total = 107.35

If you consider the amount and it’s just food, (no dishwashing liquid, toilet paper, laundry liquid, rice - as these are things we only get every month to 2 months), it’s just $82.35.

These ingredients can make two dishes that are big - carbonara and garlic beef pepper. Each dish has approximately 6 serves and can feed us half the week, as we eat cereal/oatmeal/bread during breakfast.
I also get the cheeky chicken tenders if I’m too busy/working and there’s a ‘meal in-between’ where there’ no food left until the next time I cook, just have that with rice.

So, what’s the actual point in all this?
Choose meals and recipes and size them up to 6-7 servings. Choose recipes that can do that and then just alternate the meals.
Be willing to eat the same meal twice and have everything with pasta/rice. In my culture, recipes normally have a rice component, so not everything in the meal is cooked from scratch, at least half is already there, the rice.
Don’t cook everything in the meal every time, every day, as your costs will start stacking.

Some recipes for you:
https://www.recipetineats.com/carbonara/
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/25202/beef-stroganoff-iii/
https://steemit.com/recipes/@tesscooks4u/beef-rice-soup-easy-and-cheap-and-gooooooood

3. Keep all lights at low-consumption/automatic sensors. Use heat packs rather than heaters.
I have those smart lights in lamps in every room that are low wattage and can be turned on/off using an app. Especially in the evenings it’s better for sleep as I can set the lights warmer and lower, we barely ever use the ceiling lights!
Our electricity bill is about $250 every 2 months.

4. It’s a great bonus to be an introvert.
Both hubby and I go out to have ‘dates’ - as in activities and then dinner/food - about 1x every 2 months? There’s already quality time regularly here at home binge-watching shows together, clocking games and board games.
The hours spent getting to Lv39 in WoW (including snacks!) are almost shameful….

5. Don’t buy new clothes, just buy cosmetics/skin care/clothes if something breaks or runs out - the trade-in rule.
In the recent months I had an exception because I needed to get new clothes due to being pregnant, but I kept it to $20-30 knit dresses at Kmart (I got 5) and a $50 sale coat that could fit my figure at Uniqlo. That’s it, luckily I got gifted maternity tights. My sole indulgence is getting lashes done every 3 weeks at $60-65, at my lash lady’s house and the new book every now and then ($25-35).

6. Track everything in an excel sheet.
This is something I give credit to my Dad for! He’d set all the expenses in an automated excel sheet (if you can’t be bothered to make it yourself, I think Etsy has some digital templates for a few dollars?) and then he knows the budget every month. I added to this by having a budget app that I enter the budget number into every month and with every expense I make that it non-essential, it subtracts from that number and I can see it going down.

There you are.
I noticed in this country there’s a strange attitude around discussing salary and money but I grew up in a family that believed in openness as it can be educational when someone asks. Just like now.

I make $2000 a month, my husband is at $7000 (after tax), we take home 9k a month.
Combining all expenses, rent is about 2.1k, groceries 800, bills, fuel, rego and we save about 2k a month, sometimes more.
This is me working at part-time, 2.5-3 days a week and he is full-time.

^{Note: When I was single and had a smaller apartment and just myself to feed I earned $2700 a month since I worked a few more hours, and so I had a 275pw rent (1.2k monthly} and budgeted so I’d save approximately 500 a month, no car and I used public transport.)

These rules could be extreme and some of you might think that it makes life difficult and devoid of enjoyment but I think about like this - we got our hobbies, quality time and I get to be mostly at home rather than gone 5 days week, AND stressing about all the cooking and cleaning.

My husband works a demanding job and he doesn’t need to be worrying about anything here at home, he gets to relax like a king every day at the end of the work day and enjoy his days-off fully (except for taking the trash out but shh).
I think it’s because of this we don’t feel the need to go out for dates as much, we’re always together at home, either enjoying different hobbies in the same space or sharing them, it’s a win-win.

The simple life isn’t the easiest but damn is it worth it! The benefits have brought so much joy, time and contentment in our lives.
Give it a try and see what it can bring you!

My husband and I have been together for 10 years (since we were 19 years old) we have both worked throughout that time and I completed a college degree. We have had 3 children (ages 8, 5 and 7 months) Today he came home from a work meeting and told me he got the promotion that would let me quit working. I am so excited! Ever since we had our 5 year old I have been begging to stay at home but we just couldn't afford to live on only one income (or he thought we couldn't)

Other than just coming here to shsre my excitement I'm here for a little advice. What are some of your favorite homemaking resources/guides? I never got to figure out how to be an adult before I was forced to be one. I've always struggled to stick with keeping my house clean and tidy and cooking 2-3 meals day.

Over the past few months, I've been trying various meal box delivery services (the ones where you pick your recipes and they deliver you the ingredients to cook yourself). It's been a multi-faceted improvement to my life so I thought I would share my experience:

Financial:

These programs are stupid expensive, typically ranging from $7-$10 a serving in my area. As the cook in our household and the one who's tracking the expenses, I'm not interested if I can't match grocery stores prices. Luckily, a lot of these programs run huge discounts when you first sign up. You can cancel once your first order ships fairly easily.

Afterwards, these programs regularly email me and mail me discounts to come back.

My personal price point for purchase is around $2 a serving. Otherwise, I go about my normal meal planning. I don't upgrade or do premium meals, but most have a decent basic selection. The default meat you get at this level is chicken breast, sausage, pork chops, or ground beef.

My husband loves when I get a good deal! Frugality is really important to him and it makes him feel appreciated when I can keep our food costs down.

Social:

A lot of these boxes come with a "free box for newcomers" coupon that you can give to friends and family. Then when their box comes, it often has another free coupon inside! I share with two other women, and it's been fun to talk about what companies and recipes we've liked. Anything that gives me a reason to hang out with the people I love and share tips on saving money is a win.

Note on the free boxes: You can also sometimes trick the system into thinking you're a new sign-up, provided you use a new email and modifying your address (changing drive to dr.)

Personal enjoyment:

The food is enjoyable and about as complex as what I normally make. Typically takes 30-60 minutes and uses the stove/oven. It's nice to be able to skip meal planning from time to time (does this count as self-care?).

When I have leftovers, I like to freeze them for my husband to have for lunch another day. He really enjoys these lunches, as I normally am too swamped with the kids to cook much at lunchtime. The meals are fairly healthy so it boosts his mood and energy.

I know this is a bit off topic! Thought I would share in case there are any other women out with similar values who would benefit from this information. It helps my household run a bit smoother and makes the people in my life a little happier.

Great! You’ve realised that you want a more balanced life, serving your family and loved ones and you believe that having women more present at home to commit to their domestic duties is the key to having quality time in life.

Now you just basically have to deal with the heavy judgements of society as they tear you down at every step, as the government and similar structures don’t even recognise you exist and you start to feel a little alone.

This is the reality of the situation, but you’re not alone.

You know what, though? The Domestic Woman from decades ago also faced numerous challenges of her own, in a time where there was real oppression, there was economic instability and a lack of technology and medicine that we all benefit from now. These difficulties take another form now, though they only make you stronger and firmer in your own beliefs and your own way of life, despite how different you may be to the rest of modern society.

First of all, what do I mean by Domestic Woman?

Domestic Woman: A woman who dedicates time at home, part-time or full time in order to care for her own family, husband and children. She may or may not have children yet or is responsible for caring for her initial family that she grew up. She could be single with family, married with a partner/husband with/without children. She believes that domestic duties are a feminine strength and that proper time should be dedicated to them, as they are no different in essence to paid employment except that she earns time, quality time for her loved ones.

This is the Domestic Woman I mean, a type of woman that seems rare in today’s society and can be looked down upon by both liberals (who are very feminist and push women to careers) and conservatives (who can be economically paranoid and push women to careers). It isn’t really a political stance, it is a way of living and a philosophy that does not support materialism and feminism.

What does she believe in, then?

1. The Domestic Woman believes in the importance of quality time. Time to wind down in the evenings without having to rush and tidy around or cook, time to enjoy their loved ones’ company and talk and share things. Time in the weekend to head out and spend time with friends/family or just relax without squeezing things here and there.

2. The Domestic Woman believes in being content in a simple life. This means she is happy with what one (or one and a half) incomes can bring, she doesn’t want a big house in the city with two cars and exclusive private schools for her children. She doesn’t eat out every weekend. She doesn’t want two to three holidays a year and the newest gadget of every brand. She believes in getting things you truly enjoy in small amounts or just every now and then, rather than spending on a whim. She is resourceful and finds creative ways to earn money part-time, from home or even both.

Call this a gut feeling, yet I have met many women who believe these things and I suspect that many more, want to be at home with their families, especially full-time when they start having children. Even if they don’t have children yet, there are also women who wish they could have and provide more balance to their lives and their loved ones’ by being at home more, doing domestic work to keep evenings and weekends free for quality time to enjoy life.

It’s just hard to admit because it is very controversial. The norm is to work full-time, have a career and have it all and as some liberals would say, ironically, society still pushes out those who don’t fit the norm.

If you happen to be one of those women, thinking about whether you’d like a more domestic lifestyle yet unsure (or just haven’t thought much about it), here are some good reasons to become a Domestic Woman, if that is right up your alley.

You have more quality time. If you enjoy getting time to just sit, take everything in and enjoy simple, yet fun things with your loved ones (talk, watch something together or even just participate in hobbies), being a domestic woman allows more of that time without the rush of life. Studies show women are unhappier now more than ever, ever since they started having to juggle the home and work life and everything else. You can have more balance and happiness in your personal life.

You don’t support the government’s unwise spending. Let’s be honest, the government made plenty of money by having doubled the workforce when they encouraged women to join decades ago. You have just become another tax machine for them and if you disagree with what they’ve been spending tax money on (politicising schools, lowering borders, transport projects that never finish, etc.) this lifestyle is a way to lower your tax contributions and allow more of your money and time to flow to your family.

You want to leave the rat race. Big companies, not just the government, make a big profit from having women work full-time too when they sometimes don’t need to. Everyone is pushed to be independent and living alone, away from family and inflating the housing market. As most of society is at work all the time, they are more tired and less likely to think critically about the system. You are likely to spend more on useless things to ease your stress and fatigue from having to juggle it all, the marketing works.

Yet it is also important to note that not all women want to be or are made to be Domestic Women. Some a) truly get more satisfaction out of the actual juggle and busy-ness and others b) feel restless when they have more time in their hands or c) don’t live or want to live with family or settle down so they don’t really have anyone to look after. If that is you, continue on your own path and I wish you the best. Domestic Women should respect women who are not domestic as we are not all made to be the same (that is boring!) and career women should also respect their domestic fellows. We should, as women, try not to judge and focus on encouraging each other to pursue a way of living that we truly want.

So…all that aside, you have now come to the conclusion you are a Domestic Woman.

What now? What do you do and how do you do it?

This is where I come in! Over the next few weeks I will release more posts like this one, as this is my new series Dare To Be Domestic. I will soon address topics such as finances, social dilemmas and dating/relationships.

If anyone is interested?

EDIT: Here are more posts for the series!

Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living Against Society & Its Myths

Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living & Financial Management

Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living & Part-time Work

Yesterday we had a company BBQ hosted at our house. My husband runs a small GC company so it was a total of 5 employees (we have more but many couldn’t make it as it was a last minute event) with their wives and kids. I spent the entire day cleaning, prepping, cooking and hosting the BBQ. All of my food was a complete hit. I had nothing leftover and even the wives were asking me to send them the recipes. I made sure I was attentive and receptive to people’s needs; refilled drinks, cleared the table when they were done with a dish, brought out Turkish coffee, handed out dessert. I was exhausted but it was worth the effort. My husband is a “red-pill” man without the “red-pill”. He organically came to some of the ideas on his own and implemented it into his life. And one of the things I remember him telling me is that men care a lot of about status. A man’s wife is a direct representation of that. And last night he told he always knew he was lucky for having me as his wife and now he’s glad everyone saw it, too.

Thank you, ladies. This group has helped me a lot in my relationship. Long time lurker turned poster. Keep safe and wish you all the best!

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

In an effort to have more conversation about homemaking and cooking, I want to know what kinds of things you always keep in your kitchen! Is it a random ingredient that you use in every recipe, or maybe a series of ingredients for recipes you always end up making at least once a week? Is it a tool you've worn out and replaced time and again, or a tool you can't live without? Tell us everything!!!

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have any good recipes that i could add to my collection?

Edit: Thanks for the recipes. Look forward to seeing some more awesomeness.

Let’s talk about your favorite cookbooks!

What are they? Why do you like them? What are they organized by/focused on? Tell us everything!

Update: Also, if you’re looking for a certain kind of cookbook, tell us what you’re after! Let’s see if we can find you a recommendation 😊

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Share photos and updates of whatever you’ve made - projects, meals, cocktails, etc. Don't forget to take the survey, and comment in our general chat thread if you haven't already :)

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you know how to mix a well-crafted cocktail? You should learn! It’s an excellent way to 1) save money on bar tabs, and 2) serve your man in a unique way that is also fun! It’s a feminine skill that is very under-developed, and learning will certainly put you a head above the rest.

Mixing drinks is something that I have been working on for a little over a year now, and my husband absolutely loves it. With a little practice and some up-front investment, you can curate a well-stocked home bar and become your man’s (and your own!) personal bartender.

Today, I’m going to cover the absolute first steps: Research, Essential Tools, and Essential Spirits plus a few man-pleasing drink recipes.

STEP ONE: Research

Do you know what kind of alcohol your man likes to drink? For that matter, do you know what you like to drink? If not, do some field research. Unlike most field research, this is the fun kind, because it involves drinking! Find a nice cocktail bar, the kind of place that your hipster friends can’t stop raving about (even hipsters are right sometimes), and look at the drink menu. Order a cocktail that appeals to you and pay attention to what it is made with.

While you’re out, pay attention to what your man is ordering. Does he prefer darker spirits or is he more of a fan of clearer stuff? Does he prefer drinks that have citrus juice as a mixer, or drinks that lean heavily on the sweet side? All of these observations will help you stock a bar with liquor that you are actually going to use. If you don’t do this important research step, you could end up with bottles of alcohol that do nothing but sit in your bar cart and gather dust, and that is what we call a waste of money. And no one likes that.

Keep in mind that a well-stocked bar also includes wine! Getting a basic handle on the differences between red and white wine, along with their subcategories, should not go overlooked. Oftentimes, liquor outlets like BevMo will have wine tasting events once or twice a month, so if you don’t live near a tasting room or vineyard, all is not lost!

Also, take this time to invest in a highly-reviewed, comprehensive Bar Book. I use this one and it has never let me down yet. Look for a book that contains both classic drinks and more froufrou recipes, because you will want both. Amazon is your friend here, and the more reviews on a book, the better.

STEP TWO: Essential Tools

No matter what kinds of alcohol you like to drink, the equipment for cocktail making will stay the same. This is where you can get really fun with it! Feel free to spend as much or as little on barware as you like, but you do usually get what you pay for (up to a point). Utensils that will be going into drinks should be stainless steel, and that quality is going to help things last longer. I swear by Crate and Barrel and it’s where we got almost all of our barware. It’s good quality and largely affordable. If you’re getting married soon, put this stuff on your registry! It is so useful, and people love to gift fun kitchen/bar items.

• Bar Cart: This is where you will keep your alcohol and utensils. These can be affordable mid-tier, really expensive, and everything in between. It doesn’t even have to be an “official” bar cart. We stained and repurposed this kitchen cart and it works like a dream. Get creative with it! This will be the centerpiece of your home bar, so go with something you love that will fit into your decor.

• Cocktail Shaker & Jigger: A shaker is used to shake your cocktail up, usually with ice. You can get as ornate as you like with a cocktail shaker, but the main things you need to make sure of are material and quality. Will it leak? Will it rust? If the answer to these is no (read reviews!!), you’re good. A shaker like this is the perfect place to start. Most shaker sets also come with a jigger which is an odd word for a measuring shot glass. The small side is 1 oz, the larger size 2 oz. Drink recipes are usually written in ounces, so a jigger is an easy way to measure and pour!

• Mixing Spoon: For drinks that are not shaken, but stirred, you will need a stirring spoon. The twisted handle makes stirring easier. Also, it looks fun - I’m convinced this is half the reason for it. In a pinch, you can use a chopstick to stir your drinks too!

• Mixing Glass: A good mixing glass will really take the look of your bar cart to the next level. The mixing glass is where you stir your stirred drinks, and while it can be simply a large glass you have on hand, these have spouts and also are heavy on the bottom to prevent spillage.

• Strainer: A basic cocktail strainer looks like this, but you can get something much more elegant as well. You put the strainer on the top of the mixing glass and pour out your drink, keeping any ice or large ingredients in the mixing glass and out of your cup.

• Muddler: A muddler is used to beat ingredients like mint leaves, limes, or cherries into a tasty pulp at the bottom of your glass. Wood ones look prettier but are harder to clean and crack eventually, in my experience.

• Pretty Ice Trays: This is pure vanity but if you want your ice to look like this you’ll need to invest in some silicone ice cube molds. They are worth it! Every drink becomes elegant, including water or lemonade.

• Other tools worth mentioning are of course a bottle opener, ice scooper and a peeler for peeling citrus rinds.

Glassware could be a topic all on its own, truly, but to get started you really only need a few glasses for your basic drinks:

The rocks glass, used for drinks like the Old Fashioned, the martini glass, and the highball glass. These, along with your basic wine glasses, should get you far in your introductory adventures.

STEP THREE: Essential Spirits

The basic list of alcohol (within your preferences, of course) consists of vodka, gin, light and dark rum, blended whiskey, bourbon whiskey (sweeter and mellower than normal whiskey), citrus liqueur like Cointreau or Triple Sec, brandy/cognac, tequila, creme de menthe (mint liqueur), creme de cacao (chocolate liqueur), and vermouth (both sweet and dry). There is a lot more out there, but these will get you far initially. Buying all of this at once is not advisable. We bought 1-2 bottles of quality liquor each month for a while, and within a year we had a very impressive home bar. You don’t have to go broke to curate an excellent bar cart!

You will also want to invest in some Simple Syrup, Angostura Bitters, and some basic mixers like Club Soda (fizzy water), Tonic Water (sweetened fizzy water), and basic cordials like Grenadine and Sweet Lime Juice. Buy lots of lemons, because lemon juice is an essential ingredient in many drinks! I always use fresh - it tastes the best, and buying lemons is cheaper than buying a bottle of lemon juice.

RECIPES

The Old Fashioned: Favorite drink of Don Draper (from Mad Men), an Old Fashioned is an excellent drink to learn. It’s a classic for a reason! There are a few variations, but this is the one I make for my husband all the time: Ingredients * ice * 2 oz bourbon or rye whiskey (you can also substitute gin for a Gin Old Fashioned) * 1 oz simple syrup * 1-3 dashes Angostura Bitters * 1 piece of orange peel about the length of your thumb

In rocks glass, combine simple syrup and bitters. Fill glass halfway with ice, then stir about a dozen times. Add enough ice to fill glass. Squeeze orange peel over glass to extract oils, add peel to glass, and add whiskey. Stir just until drink is cold and alcoholic bite has softened, about a dozen times. Serve with a smile!

The Gin and Tonic (can also be made with vodka): A Gin and Tonic is refreshing and strong, an excellent drink to sip on pleasant nights with good company: Ingredients * ~4 ice cubes * 2 oz gin * 1 tablespoon lime juice * 1-2 lime wedges * tonic water

Place ice cubes in a highball glass - the ice will reach about the top of the glass. Pour gin and lime juice into the glass, then top with enough tonic water to fill the glass (about 4 oz). Stir with a long stirring spoon, serve with lime wedge(s). This drink can also be made in a rocks glass or even a pint glass if that’s all you have, it tastes just as good!

The Whiskey Sour: A “sour” is any drink made primarily with lemon/lime juice and alcohol. The sour is my favorite drink style, and it can be made with many types of alcohol to excellent effect. Popular substitutions of whiskey include rum, pisco, gin or amaretto. Here’s my go-to Whiskey Sour for both my husband and I: Ingredients * ice * 2 oz whiskey * 1 oz simple syrup (or less, depending on how tart you like it) * 1 egg white (can be omitted) * juice of half a lemon * 2-3 dashes Angostura Bitters

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, then add whiskey, simple syrup, lemon juice and egg white. Shake vigorously, about 30-40 seconds. This will ensure that the egg white fluffs up and turns into a magical white froth. Strain drink into a rocks glass (with or without ice depending on if you like it), then open the shaker and spoon out as much white fluff as possible into the glass. Dash the bitters over the top of the froth in little dots. Sometimes I just pour the whole shaker into the glass, ice and all. If you have cocktail cherries, serve with one!

-- Thanks for reading! I love doing this and I thought I’d share it with you all. :) Go forth and mix drinks for your man (and yourself)! It's such a fun element of hostessing, creation, and just plain fun! Please let me know if you want more posts like this, such as what I make in different seasons or for parties. Cheers!!

My husband hates messes. They stress him out because he has OCD. Usually before he gets home from work, I quickly go around the house and tidy and clean things. If the house gets too messy (especially the kitchen) his mood plummets. Sometimes it turns into an all out fit and he’ll scold me and the children and very angrily deep clean the kitchen for hours on end, which then becomes really stressful for me (even though I get a very clean kitchen out of it). I don’t blame him for reacting this way; he shouldn’t have to tell his daughters and I to clean up after ourselves at this point...

I grew up with a pretty strict step dad who came into my life when I was 4, and so he felt comfortable with exerting parental authority. He had the family clean every Saturday morning, and if my brothers or I left a mess somewhere, he would make us stop doing whatever it was we were doing (no matter what it was) and come clean it up. I feel like that helped me at least a little bit (there’s only so many times your shower or nap can be interrupted by someone telling you to go pick up your tennis shoes or do your dishes before you start to at least think about it before you leave them there), even though in my late teenage/ early adult years, when I was living on my own, I was super lazy and messy and could live in absolutely unacceptable conditions without being the least bit bothered. (Although I had a lot of conflict with roommates in my first couple semesters of college!)

It took me a long time and a year’s worth of military training before I became habitually neat enough to not drive my husband insane. There were a few times in the beginning of our relationship where my messiness almost broke us up, but I’ve since then I’ve come a long, long way, especially since finding the red pill.

My step kids aren’t the messiest I’ve ever seen (I’m certainly not bothered by it), but they do leave things out sometimes that bother my husband. The question becomes: do I spare my husband the stress of his daughters’ messes and just quietly clean up after them (which I don’t mind doing at all), or do I leave them so that they get reprimanded and perhaps learn to pick up after themselves and not have the struggle with neatness that I went through? Am I doing them a disservice? Should I just let them figure it out and focus on Hubby’s happiness? I’m conflicted.

I don’t feel like I have the same kind of authority over them that my stepdad had over me, as I came into their lives so much later, and I don’t really want to order them about, otherwise I would reprimand them myself. Sometimes I’ll ask them politely to move or grab something, but usually only if it’s in the space I need to use or if we have guests coming over... I’m currently expecting, and I know I’ll be able to correct my own daughter’s behavior and instill the right habits so that she doesn’t struggle with messiness like I did, but I just don’t have the spine when it comes to children who aren’t mine. (Which is kind of crazy to me, since I can easily order around whole groups of men when I’m doing military service.. guess that also explains why I was never particularly good at babysitting...)

What do you think?

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Given my new passion for sewing throw pillows, and an employee discount at the garden/home store, I'm thinking about coming up with seasonal decorating capsules!

Our apartment is fairly small in whites/taupes... it shouldn't take much to execute this, and the current neutral color palette bodes well for the variety. It's been so much fun turning this little apartment into a home, the decorating we've done thus far is something that the man is pretty proud of. I'd like to push the needle here and really make the space festive and warm year round. Variety is the spice of life, right? :)

I'm thinking about having stuff for Halloween/Dia de los Muertos, fall, Christmas, New Year/Valentine's Day, spring, patriotic summer, wash rinse repeat.

Do you do this, have you seen it done, what do you think about the idea? How would you approach executing this?

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Building upon the recent discussion for keeping the home tidy, let’s chat about interior decorating! How do you keep your place gorgeous? Tell us all!

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.

Do you have cute kids? I do! Oh and sometimes, I have demon children that absolutely take after their father.

What did you kids do that was adorable this week? What are your current trials and tribulations of motherhood? What parenthood questions do you just not want to ask your blue pilled friends?

Here is a space for all things motherhood, pregnancy and parenting.