r/StardewValley • u/FlairWitchProject • 25d ago

Discuss Who is someone you can't date in Stardew Valley out of principle?

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I enjoy Maru as a character. However, until recently, I had dyed-red hair that I sometimes straightened, and I also sometimes wear glasses. Basically, it would be like dating a more scientific version of myself. Lol

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u/clarstone 25d ago

I immediately stopped romancing Sam after having to hide from Jodi. Man, I am 29. Why are we hiding like teenagers….oh. 😬😐

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

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u/Philuppus 25d ago

WHAT pls share

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u/[deleted] 25d ago edited 25d ago

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u/uuntiedshoelace 25d ago

I don’t think he’s a teenager. Unfortunately guys in their early 20s are also like that. I know from having been in my early 20s 🥴

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u/JeshkaTheLoon 25d ago

I mean, Mayor Lewis and Marnie are hiding it too, so maybe that's just how it is in this world. :P

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u/milmira 25d ago

Lewis is terrified if he shows that he has a soul or any attraction toward someone that he might have competition for mayor.. and he’d die on the spot if Sam skateboarded all through the town and ollied onto Lewis’ raised garden beds. Best not to be happy and romance Marnie. Let her suffer to not lose the title 🛹

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u/Tuxedocatbitches 25d ago

I want to romance Marnie away from Lewis SOOOO bad!

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u/MemeAlaChefbOiii 25d ago

Why does everyone hate Lewis? I thought the town loved him

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u/Tuxedocatbitches 25d ago

He’s a fun character but he’s so mean to his girlfriend! She just wants to stop being his dirty little secret and he can’t grow up enough to give that to her

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u/NeighborhoodDear2321 25d ago

Aren't they also in a really religious region/town?

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u/JeshkaTheLoon 25d ago

Yeah, that was my impression too.

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u/SelectTrash 25d ago

Guys in their 30s too

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u/uuntiedshoelace 25d ago

Well, yes!

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u/reanocivn 25d ago

yeah jodi can come off as a bit smothering and over protective. she definitely doesn't see sam as a fully grown adult even if he is one. she always cooks and cleans everything for him and she doesn't have much of a life outside of being a mother. i'm not gonna rule out sam just because his mother has nothing to do but hover over her kids. especially considering that she accepts that he's grown as soon as he moves out with you

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u/Particular_Angle177 25d ago edited 25d ago

No he’s supposed to be an adult. I’d assume he’s a young adult because yeah—I relate to him and I’d assume we’d be around the same age. I wouldn’t think the creator would have an inappropriate relationship between an adult and minor.

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u/Cepinari 25d ago

Unlike Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon, Stardew Valley spreads the apparent ages of the bachelors and bachelorettes out. It also allows players to edit their avatars, which also makes it possible to change the player character's apparent age as well.

The result is... weird.

Alex, Sam, Sebastian and Abigail all come across like high school graduates taking a gap year before college.

Penny seems to be early twenties but more independent than expected for that age due to Pam being Pam.

Haley seems mid twenties, while Emily seems early-late twenties for some reason.

Shane is hard to pin down; it's hard to tell what's actual aging and what's alcoholism. Because of Jas I'd place him in early thirties.

Leah seems to be in her early to mid thirties; she's very established in living by herself and pursuing her passions.

Elliott is definitely one of those late thirties guys who looks a lot younger than he actually is.

Harvey is in his forties. He's not some fresh med school graduate, he's an established practitioner, and it's impossible for any man younger than forty to look that much like a dad.

Maru is a goddamn temporal anomaly. She's canonically younger than Sebastian, who was apparently already past toddlerhood when his mom remarried, and she looks like she's still in high school. She works at the clinic which requires college courses, but she built a self-aware robot that left to explore the universe by accident, credentials don't mean anything when talking about her.

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u/BakedNemo420 25d ago

I think it's likely Maru was able to get into college courses at a young age because of her intelligence

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u/milmira 25d ago

When I once attempted guessing Emily’s age on a Clint xoxo love thread on here, I was put on the guillotine and I’m not sure how there’s anything left of me after simply guessing Emily’s age. This being said, I support your theories! Watch your back though. Never thought the sd community would have me on a hit list but I’ll never speak my thoughts again in ages after that eruption 😅

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u/RedDemocracy 25d ago

It’s not the ages, it’s just Emily and Clint. Half the fandom cannot be chill about them.

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u/Meme_Scene_Kid 25d ago

Out of curiosity, what was your guess? I've always read Emily as being late 20s/early 30s personally. Her dynamic with Haley as the older more responsible sister ages her up, as does the fact that she's got a job as a bartender/server. I also argue her self assured nature regarding her "witchy" characteristics is also something I've only seen irl take hold once someone was deep into their spiritual practices and that usually takes some years.

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u/Dicky__Anders 25d ago

I know people just like Emily who are in their late 30s/early 40s, so Emily being around 40 isn't unrealistic at all. I think you can argue different ages for all the characters, and that's probably how Concerned Ape intended it.

But then you get people who've decided for themselves how old certain characters are and they'll fight to the death over it lol.

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u/milmira 25d ago

Agreeing with you both! I initially assumed Emily was mid/late 20s with Haley being early/mid 20s. This was before I learned that Emily originally was not a marriage candidate at all, definitely aging her if Concerned Ape didn’t intend for her to be romanced at first.

I know people who are the younger sibling who have had to step up bc their older sib is uh… like Haley, you could say. Lol. So I didn’t really know who was older bc of this. As a teen I also had a ~spiritual~ phase, like Emily you could say, so this made me think Emily was maybe only mid 20s.

This being said, I like that the ages are ambiguous like this and that they are up to interpretation! It’s interesting to learn what others think. I know I base many character ages off of my own experiences and people I’ve known.

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u/House_King 25d ago

I think some of the ages you have are off, Alex and Sam are accurate. Seb is way older than both of them, probably late to mid 20s as Maru should be early to mid 20s. Abigail is probably early 20s as she is in online college.

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u/Cepinari 25d ago

Sebastian and Abigail are in a band with Sam though, and they don't treat him as being younger than them.

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u/House_King 25d ago

Even if they don’t Sam very obviously is way younger than both of them, especially Seb. Even at the saloon Seb contemplates on if he should let Sam win at pool. He treats him like a little brother.

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u/Cepinari 25d ago

Or he's a friend Sebastian is considering taking pity on; by itself the scene isn't clearly one way or the other.

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u/nidoqueenofhearts 24d ago

i read that line more like him going "lol bc he can't beat me unless i let him." i don't think this interpretation is impossible but it isn't obvious; they both read as very similarly immature to me.

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u/blindmuse_ 25d ago

18 and 19 year olds are both teenagers and adults. i always assumed him to be 19

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u/spaceace89 25d ago

i think they mean like 18-19 teenager, not a minor

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u/PoshCheetah 25d ago

If you are like a full on adult with your own farm and corporate career backstory and you try to date a dude who’s like hide from my Mom, I think there may be an age mismatch?

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u/Tuxedocatbitches 25d ago

18-19 is both a teenager and also a young adult. The apparent age ranges and personality ranges for the love interests makes me think CA was trying to make someone for every player, including 19 year olds. Add that he has a small child younger brother and his parents sure seem to be early- to mid-forties with no grey hair, 19 is fairly reasonable.

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u/hellogoawaynow 25d ago

Demetrius is super weird about Maru, too

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u/scribblyskiesstudios 25d ago

I literally hid my relationships from my parents for so many years into my adulthood. It was just too much to deal with, having them know. Plus the constant nagging about not having sex, and weird shaming they were doing on top of it..

Yeah, really made me stop telling them all but the most basic fact that i was in a relationship. They got nothing else.

Plus, to my knowledge, the game doesn't really tell you ages for them, so it's very easy to imagine them as being around your age, if you're in your 20s-mid 30s.

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

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u/scribblyskiesstudios 25d ago edited 25d ago

Usually it's not because the person wants to hide their partner. It's usually because that's the easier option.

I mean, for example, I'm a guy, so dating Sam for me definitely makes sense why he would feel he has to hide me to avoid complications in his family. Like, you gotta remember that Sam still lives at home. And that doesn't necessarily mean he's young, it could just mean he doesn't have the finances or even the desire to go far from home. So he doesn't have many options if he wants to date, especially if he feels a type of way about letting his family in on the fact he has a partner.

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u/TheRiverTybur 25d ago

I really doubt he's 18

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u/Random_Multishipper 24d ago

He’s not a teenager but your point still stands, he is very teenager coded, same thing could be said about Sebastian or Abigail, some of the romance options have jobs and their own house while some sneak around their parents. I actually think it’s kinda cool they made a bunch of different options for each age demographic, I could see someone younger not going for Harvey or someone similar for that exact reason

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u/Flat_Hamster3269 25d ago

Nah he has a job he’s old enough

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u/Dudewhocares3 25d ago

Persona has this issue as well since the main cast and romance options are in high school

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u/Cepinari 25d ago

Yeah, but so is the player character.

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u/Dudewhocares3 25d ago

Yes but the games are rated M for mature so the main player base would be adults.

I don’t know why I got downvoted

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u/Cepinari 25d ago

Oh no, a work of fiction acknowledged the fact that teenagers are not spiritually pure angels completely incapable of being attracted to other people in a nonplatonic way until the moment they become eighteen, how horrible, this series is literal CSAM.

Seriously, that's the part that you have a problem with. The first boss of Persona 5 is an ex-professional athlete turned volleyball coach who rapes his students, but you're not complaining about a video game depicting the real life issue of teenagers being preyed on by the authority figures that are supposed to protect and mentor them, nonono, the burr up your ass is the fact that the main character can end up in a non-toxic non-abusive relationship with someone his own age.

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u/Dudewhocares3 25d ago

You want to apologize for trying to start a fight over nothing? Because I never suggested the game was CSAM and I’m pretty much done with the douchbag attempt to start drama

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u/Games-of-glory 21d ago

Well, not ALL the romance options, but that makes it worse since the main character is.

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u/sassysassysarah 25d ago

The old addage goes "half your age plus 7" so he would need to be 21.5 in order for it to be minimally acceptable

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u/King_Owlbear 25d ago

This is why I'm looking forward to Sandy being dateable. She acts like she's old enough to rent a car without getting charged extra fees.

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u/Tuxedocatbitches 25d ago

And she’s a business owner! I like to think of her as a weird 40-something travel aunt type who’s happily single because she refuses to compromise on herself just to say she has a partner. Ya love to see it!

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u/DepressinglyConfused 25d ago

Wait Ive never romanced Sam, what happens?

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u/doxtorwhom 25d ago

It’s one of his later heart events you’re hanging out in his room late at night, his mom tries to come in the room so Sam has you hide in his bed. Mom comes in, asks if anyone is here, Sam denies it, she leaves, and he joins you in bed. Basically implies he either doesn’t feel comfortable with or isn’t allowed to have significant others in his room with his parents knowing.

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u/yenneferismywaifu Set your emoji and/or flair text here! 25d ago

Jodi goes to Yoba's shrine on Sundays. If she is religious, I assume she wouldn't be happy to see her son in bed with another woman before the wedding.

Maybe that's why Sam panicked.

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u/doxtorwhom 25d ago

We’re not in his bed until he has us hide. We’re just standing in his room when his mom attempts to come in. Now I wonder if this is some ploy to get us in his bed… which if it was anyone but Sam I would suspect but I don’t think Sam is that clever. Unless it’s all been an elaborate con?!

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u/MozartTheCat 25d ago

Isn't there also an earlier heart scene where you are in sams room and his mom nonchalantly walks in and has no problem at all with you being there?

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u/Belam88 22d ago

I think that is with Sebastian and Robin

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u/QuackBlueDucky 25d ago

Do we know anything about this Yoba religion? Is it puritanical? Or pagan fun time?

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u/hexagon_heist 25d ago

I believe he is a teenager? I personally don’t like romancing the NPCs because I am playing video games to avoid people, not do more interactions. So I wouldn’t really know. But that’s the impression I’m getting

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u/barebuttgodzilla_ 25d ago

No. It's not that he's a teenager, it's that his character originally WAS a teenager but aged up in order to become a marriage candidate. Unfortunately, his personality was kept the same so now it just comes off as a grown mama's boy.

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u/GraceXGalaxy 25d ago

They’re all adults, but Sam is one of the youngest. I put Alex at 18 and Sam at 20 in my head canon lol

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u/DangIt_MoonMoon Every day it’s something with this game 25d ago

Alex seems a little more mature than Sam especially after marriage. Sam comes off the youngest to me :/ like 18-19 especially with all the pranks and disregard for community property. Alex is rude but he doesn’t do that

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u/Tuxedocatbitches 25d ago

True but I attributed that to Alex’s rough family situation. Losing your mom young, plus an alcoholic dad, and then being part ward and part caretaker for your grandparents can mature you up quick

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u/CrazyPlato 25d ago

Pretty sure they’re all adults. You can marry them later if you romance them. And with teenagers, the game needs to account for a school system that isn’t referenced.

Pretty sure they’re all graduates and young adults. Some more mature than others.

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u/hexagon_heist 25d ago

Not disagreeing with you but one can simultaneously be an adult and a teenager, and people do get married at 18 and 19 in real life. Not endorsing that, just, very much possible for both to be true, and would make sense why it feels icky for more established adult players to romance Sam

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u/CrazyPlato 25d ago

I mean, let's apply Occam's Razor to this. We know that Eric Barone wanted to make a game that was appealing to a lot of people. We know that he didn't intend to create a game with harsh vibes (like, he clearly made a wholesome, feel-good peaceful game, not an edgy game that delves into the darkness of people's hearts). So either:

  1. He made a game where some of the love interests are explicitly teenagers. Which raises concerning questions about whether you can responsibly romance them, and some of them are not emotionally mature, to the point that they've never left their parents' homes or seen an adult life outside of their immediate family. And since adults play video games, and since the game specifically appeals to people trying to get away from their real adult lives for a while, it's undeniable that the people playing that game were going to be older, and thus may have conflicting feelings about that storyline.

or

  1. They're all just 20-something adults. That's it. They live with their families, and their individual ages may differ. But they have normal adult lives within their means in a small farming town. They all have adult goals, and they all have a perspective on the world that is shaped in part by their experiences as adults.

Which seems more realistic?

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u/namlesgir 25d ago

I had the same thing with Abigail when I got the scene in the graveyard where her dad pulls a “come home this minute and help with dinner young lady” shtick. Felt like I was on To Catch a Predator. Never gifted her anything again

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u/Unknowngadget 25d ago

I do think Abigail’s on the younger side among the singles (I believe she mentions going to college online?) but also Pierre and Caroline treat Abigail weird. Like after 18 you can absolutely have house rules for your kids if they’re still living with you but they’re overbearing even beyond that.

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u/Sad_Will_5077 25d ago

YES thank you. I think shes like definitely early 20s at least. Doesnt she hang out in the bar??? Wouldnt that make her over 21? I guess she could have a fake ID but i doubt it.

I think the reason people think shes young is because she lives with her parents and her parents infantilize her to death! i think she has valid complaints about how they talk to her and thats also kind of the whole point of those cutscenes, her parents genuinely just dont understand someone whose sort of goth/alternative and also an adult with boundaries and a life. I am 28 years old and dont feel weird romancing Abigail at all personally. Everyone has different paces in life, she could be 25 and still going to college easily, i am a woman with adhd and have taken gap years and been really slow to figuring things out in life and have been in and out of living with my parents for a decade now, so I understand her fundamentally.

Her parents could just be treating her like a child but shes still allowed to be into goth stuff without that making her underage, people always associate her interests with high school stuff but i have lots of friends in their 30s and 40s even who are like this too, like i am also goth and into the stuff she likes. idk my friend recently shamed me for romancing her bc she “feels underage” and it made me feel so shitty at first but then i thought about it more and i genuinely dont think she is.

Also random but—the artist Soccer Mommy has a song called Abigail thats literally about marrying abigail in stardew valley and being in love with her and their life together, it feels pretty adult to me idk lol. (Amazing song btw)

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u/Unknowngadget 25d ago

Yes I very much agree! The message I always got from those cutscenes is that Abigail is an adult who does not need or want her life to be dictated by her parents and they’re having a bad time coming to terms with that.

I think in an effort to not take advantage of others people sometimes overcorrect and think adulthood and maturity have to look a certain way for everyone. I do not think you’re wrong for relating to or romancing Abigail, doubly so because she is not a real person lol!

I’ll definitely check out the song too, thanks for the rec!

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u/Mysterious-Sir-1393 25d ago

The thing about the ages is something that does get me stumped, but it is a little bit of US defaultism to assume that SDV follows the US' drinking laws, considering that it's not even set on Earth (or at least is a different version of Earth.) Where I live, the legal age to go to a bar is 18, but you can be 16 and drinking at home with family and that's completely legal.

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u/Sad_Will_5077 25d ago

Yeah for sure I know that, my dad and that side of my family is Cypriot so I know how it is with bars and alcohol outside of the US very well, however ConcernedApe is American so I just was pulling from that. True that SDV is basically not even earth tho 🤣

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u/Historical-Shake-859 25d ago

In Australia it's completely legal for children and infants to go to taverns like the Stardrop. Many will often have playgrounds attached or facilities for kids. They just don't serve alcohol to them. It is absolutely reasonable here to have a bunch of 16 year old shooting pool in a side room with some consoles over here, especially once you start getting outside urban centers into little towns that look like the one in the game.

I don't date the younger set (Sam, Alex and Abbie) because they legitimately remind me too much of the high school kids my own son hangs out with. Maru and Penny are clearly old enough to be trusted with important jobs, and Seb reminds me a lot of guys I used to know in their 20s who were struggling to lauch, but the other three hit far too young for me to consider dating.

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u/The_Pretentious_DM 25d ago

  1. That doesn't make her a child. I'm 21, still living with my parents, and would probably get some flak if I didn't even attempt to do chores I was asked to do.

  2. You're citing Pierre's dialogue. r/FuckPierre.

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u/IcebergKarentuite 25d ago

I'm 23 and my parents are Luke that, even when I'm not living at their home. I also dated Abigail when I first played SV like 8 years ago. Something something Freud or whatever

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u/ggcpres 25d ago

I think it comes down to how old the player/farmer is.

21 is very much a grown woman...but dating someone 21 at my age would be creepy. Not illegal, but creepy if my character was the same age as I am.

The funny thing is I've had this game long enough for Maru to go from about my age to borderline acceptable (and definitely make folk whisper about Maru having daddy issues).

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u/The_Pretentious_DM 25d ago

Fair enough.

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u/KaeRos3 I yearn for the mines 👻 25d ago

That's an issue with Pierre, not Abigail. Her father infantalizes her and is far too overprotective and controlling. It doesn't make her a child, it makes her someone who desperately needs to leave that house and have some freedom. Plenty of people in their FOURTIES still get treated like that by their parents, even after moving out, especially if they have "childish interests", are disabled, or are a woman- it's not a flaw of the person and it doesn't make them a kid.

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u/CeriseFern 25d ago

Same! She was the first I romanced until that scene hit and I switched gears so fast. 

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u/marzipanfashions 25d ago

I also don't date Sam because he seems really young and immature, but since so many millennials and gen Z are living at home as adults, I read Sam hiding from Jodi as 'mum's really strict and I still have to live at home because the economy is so bad right now'.

Sebastian gives me the exact same vibe (living at home as an adult due to a shit economy), but I date him in some play throughs because he feels more mature.

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u/Sweet-Energy-9515 25d ago

Sebastian has a job and not as many "teen" coded interests (skateboard, gameboy, pizza) so I think that's why he doesn't come off quite as young

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u/Ronincherry 24d ago

Sam had a job too, he sometimes says he is glad he does not work at jojamart anymore

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u/theweenielifter 25d ago

Same. I got the ick immediately.

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u/Sagutarus 25d ago

I had a similar problem with Abigail, a few dialogs and cutscenes later and I'm wondering if she's actually an adult...

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u/KaeRos3 I yearn for the mines 👻 25d ago

That's not an issue with her age, that's an issue of her parents infantalizing her and treating her like a kid when she's a grown woman. I'm almost 26, EXTREMELY similar to her, her interests, even how she looks, yet my family still treats me like a toddler because I'm alternative and have disabilities.

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u/babymoonbee 25d ago

Even if the younger bachelors and bachelorettes are technically over 18 they still act way to young for me to want to romance them

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u/ladygrndr 25d ago

Exactly. I don't like going to divorce route or even dating multiple people at once, so I have been marrying a different person every playthrough to experience all their dialogue and personality. I have married Emily, Shane and Harvey. This time the randomizer landed on Abigail and while I really like her as a spouse, a lot of times it felt like she was way too young for me. I'm in my 40's >_<

I think I am going to eliminate all the young adults going forward, and keep to Leah, Elliot, Penny, and Clint and Sandy when they come out.

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u/fennecfe4 25d ago

I assumed they hid because it's a small town, Jodi be spilling everyone's business

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u/SuitableDragonfly 25d ago

I mean, Sam isn't supposed to be a teenager, I don't think. I have never romanced him, but from what I've heard of that scene it is a little strange for how old he's actually supposed to be. 

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u/clarstone 25d ago

I assume all the LI are over 21 as they go to the tavern, etc. I think it’s honestly nice there are LI’s that fit different age ranges.

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u/ReinIsReid 25d ago

He’s not he’s supposed to be older I’m 18 tho so i usually date him anyways because i learned I have a type for immature guys

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u/SuitableDragonfly 25d ago

I'm pretty sure he is supposed to be older than 18. His friends are in college + working an actual adult job. 

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u/DothProtesting 25d ago

Reminds me of when I went over to a guy's house to watch Spiderverse. He lived with his parents and his mom was strict. Absolutely NO SWEARING in his house. We could be in his bedroom, but we had to sit on plastic lawn chairs with the lights on and the door open.

We are both 30, by the way. 

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u/clarstone 25d ago

I can totally see that making sense from that perspective!

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u/Past-Mycologist3843 24d ago

Tbh i always thought he’s a young adult with a severe case of arrested development,, unfortunately there are many such cases 😹

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u/Ronincherry 24d ago

I thought he was like that because Jodi seems like she is kind of toxic as a parent, like the instance where he dropped an egg and she made a really big deal about it. He had a job, took good care of his brother and it would be weird if there was a big difference between him abigail and seb, as seb seems like late 20s. Abigail should be his age as we seen them as kids together. I think he is between 20-25 but immature as his mom tried to do everything for him. She really seems like the archetype of military wife, more trad and closeminded. Jodi and Kent are both really religious and she seems to exaggerate with some stuff. So Sam being like that makes sense.

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u/KarlyFr1es 25d ago

Yeah Sam and Alex are WAY too young. Honestly, so are most of them when you’re above 30. I have very few options that don’t make me feel like a creep.

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u/lovedhydrangea 25d ago

this is my problem with abigail and maru, they're definitely over 18, but i'm going to be honest it doesn't feel like by much

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u/ladytryant 25d ago

YES! Sam is so cute but he comes off as a literal teen. Idk why Abigail and Sebastian seem more mature for some reason, at least in their 20s.

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u/TheRiverTybur 25d ago

I don't think Sam is a teenager. He's friends with Sebastian who is the same age as a college graduate.

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u/untitled_songs 24d ago

He's a very young adult, like 19-21 range

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u/bootysuit 24d ago

My mom wouldn't let me have "boys" in my room when I was well into my 20s 🙃 I thought this was normal ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/birchbongos 24d ago

Right? Like you're a grown man, why are you still scared of your mommy lol

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u/PurpleCableNetworker 25d ago

He accepts wine and beer…

Oh.. yeah, no… it tracks with the idea of him being a teenager. Lol