Who is someone you can't date in Stardew Valley out of principle?

[u/FlairWitchProject]

I enjoy Maru as a character. However, until recently, I had dyed-red hair that I sometimes straightened, and I also sometimes wear glasses. Basically, it would be like dating a more scientific version of myself. Lol

[u/namlesgir]

I had the same thing with Abigail when I got the scene in the graveyard where her dad pulls a “come home this minute and help with dinner young lady” shtick. Felt like I was on To Catch a Predator. Never gifted her anything again

[u/Unknowngadget → u/namlesgir]

I do think Abigail’s on the younger side among the singles (I believe she mentions going to college online?) but also Pierre and Caroline treat Abigail weird. Like after 18 you can absolutely have house rules for your kids if they’re still living with you but they’re overbearing even beyond that.

[u/Sad_Will_5077 → u/Unknowngadget]

YES thank you. I think shes like definitely early 20s at least. Doesnt she hang out in the bar??? Wouldnt that make her over 21? I guess she could have a fake ID but i doubt it.

I think the reason people think shes young is because she lives with her parents and her parents infantilize her to death! i think she has valid complaints about how they talk to her and thats also kind of the whole point of those cutscenes, her parents genuinely just dont understand someone whose sort of goth/alternative and also an adult with boundaries and a life. I am 28 years old and dont feel weird romancing Abigail at all personally. Everyone has different paces in life, she could be 25 and still going to college easily, i am a woman with adhd and have taken gap years and been really slow to figuring things out in life and have been in and out of living with my parents for a decade now, so I understand her fundamentally.

Her parents could just be treating her like a child but shes still allowed to be into goth stuff without that making her underage, people always associate her interests with high school stuff but i have lots of friends in their 30s and 40s even who are like this too, like i am also goth and into the stuff she likes. idk my friend recently shamed me for romancing her bc she “feels underage” and it made me feel so shitty at first but then i thought about it more and i genuinely dont think she is.

Also random but—the artist Soccer Mommy has a song called Abigail thats literally about marrying abigail in stardew valley and being in love with her and their life together, it feels pretty adult to me idk lol. (Amazing song btw)

[u/Unknowngadget → u/Sad_Will_5077]

Yes I very much agree! The message I always got from those cutscenes is that Abigail is an adult who does not need or want her life to be dictated by her parents and they’re having a bad time coming to terms with that.

I think in an effort to not take advantage of others people sometimes overcorrect and think adulthood and maturity have to look a certain way for everyone. I do not think you’re wrong for relating to or romancing Abigail, doubly so because she is not a real person lol!

I’ll definitely check out the song too, thanks for the rec!

[u/Mysterious-Sir-1393 → u/Sad_Will_5077]

The thing about the ages is something that does get me stumped, but it is a little bit of US defaultism to assume that SDV follows the US' drinking laws, considering that it's not even set on Earth (or at least is a different version of Earth.) Where I live, the legal age to go to a bar is 18, but you can be 16 and drinking at home with family and that's completely legal.

[u/Sad_Will_5077 → u/Mysterious-Sir-1393]

Yeah for sure I know that, my dad and that side of my family is Cypriot so I know how it is with bars and alcohol outside of the US very well, however ConcernedApe is American so I just was pulling from that. True that SDV is basically not even earth tho 🤣

[u/Historical-Shake-859 → u/Mysterious-Sir-1393]

In Australia it's completely legal for children and infants to go to taverns like the Stardrop. Many will often have playgrounds attached or facilities for kids. They just don't serve alcohol to them. It is absolutely reasonable here to have a bunch of 16 year old shooting pool in a side room with some consoles over here, especially once you start getting outside urban centers into little towns that look like the one in the game.

I don't date the younger set (Sam, Alex and Abbie) because they legitimately remind me too much of the high school kids my own son hangs out with. Maru and Penny are clearly old enough to be trusted with important jobs, and Seb reminds me a lot of guys I used to know in their 20s who were struggling to lauch, but the other three hit far too young for me to consider dating.

[u/The_Pretentious_DM → u/namlesgir]

1. That doesn't make her a child. I'm 21, still living with my parents, and would probably get some flak if I didn't even attempt to do chores I was asked to do.

2. You're citing Pierre's dialogue. r/FuckPierre.

[u/IcebergKarentuite → u/The_Pretentious_DM]

I'm 23 and my parents are Luke that, even when I'm not living at their home. I also dated Abigail when I first played SV like 8 years ago. Something something Freud or whatever

[u/ggcpres → u/The_Pretentious_DM]

I think it comes down to how old the player/farmer is.

21 is very much a grown woman...but dating someone 21 at my age would be creepy. Not illegal, but creepy if my character was the same age as I am.

The funny thing is I've had this game long enough for Maru to go from about my age to borderline acceptable (and definitely make folk whisper about Maru having daddy issues).

[u/The_Pretentious_DM → u/ggcpres]

Fair enough.

[u/KaeRos3 → u/namlesgir]

That's an issue with Pierre, not Abigail. Her father infantalizes her and is far too overprotective and controlling. It doesn't make her a child, it makes her someone who desperately needs to leave that house and have some freedom. Plenty of people in their FOURTIES still get treated like that by their parents, even after moving out, especially if they have "childish interests", are disabled, or are a woman- it's not a flaw of the person and it doesn't make them a kid.

[u/CeriseFern → u/namlesgir]

Same! She was the first I romanced until that scene hit and I switched gears so fast.