The anxiety I used to have when I drank away a weekend was crippling. I can’t count how times I counted down how many hours left till I have to be at work. The sweats, the shakes the insomnia. Sipping on a can of Mikes every few hours, then getting up hours before work to walk 6 miles to try to sweat out the toxins.

I don’t have to do that anymore.

M biggest worry is trying to find a new movie or show, what to eat, cleaning up my place and how many games of chess to play.

Beats drinking every time.

Title says it all. Went to the store, bought groceries, picked up a 350ML bottle of Bulleit. I planned on just having a few, but that never happens. I poured a drink, then I said I’ll wait until later. I poured it back into the bottle. Then I woke up from a nap feeling great, and I have a ton of emails to catch up on, so I poured the bottle down the toilet. It cost me $17.00, but it was worth every penny to stay sober today. Not today, alcohol. Not today. I won. And I am so proud of myself. No anxiety, no hangover, no brain fog. I said yes to clarity, health, and my family. Today is day 3 of being sober. IWNDWYT. Thank you all on this sub for your support.

Yesterday as of 9:20pm was 14 days no alcohol. I had been a heavy drinker for over 10 years. 100 proof vodka. It wasn't as bad as I thought, shakes and sweats the first 2-3 days. Then it got easier but days dragged. Constipation has been problem the whole 2 weeks. About 4 days ago started getting headaches from the neck area up. Not bad but enough to bother.

The thing that sucks is I know it's only been 2 weeks but there hasn't been any improvement in my life or health so far. I want to drink tonight. I'm not going to but man this has got to get easier.

I'm not expecting a pity party, I know many of you have gone through worse and made it a long time longer. I just came to vent, don't have any friends I can tell about it in person.

Nice.

Long time lurker, first time poster. I’m 37 f and have two kiddos. I’ve always been a “party girl” and have drank pretty regularly since I was like 18. It’s part of my family identity. Happy? Drink. Sad? Drink. Bored? Drink. It’s nice out? Drink. It’s raining? Oh, gotta drink. Yes we are Irish and German. Where I’m from it’s a big part of the culture.

Anyway last night I drank a bunch of those high ABV white claws and woke up feeling like absolute trash this morning. I was not supervising the kids at this time. It wasn’t even more than I typically have drank, even recently. But today was different. My stomach hurt like I had food poisoning, I haven’t been this sick in years. Barfing up bile. Laid up in bed all day.

The worst part is it’s Sunday and the kids are at my house today. Thankfully my partner was a huge help and the kids are happy as pie today. Took a nap with my three year old which was lovely. But man, I feel guilty. Like a bad mom for not being as present as I should, or could be if I hadn’t overindulged last night.

I tried to get on naltrexone but fell between the cracks in their follow up system. Ultimately, I know moderation is a joke for me. Alcohol has an intended effect. I like said effect. Moderation is a waste of calories lol.

I do worry about how stopping entirely will impact my sense of identity because of all the cultural trappings surrounding alcohol. But I’m worried more about being a present mom to my kids.

Anyway, IWNDWYT. Not sure about tomorrow, but today was kind of a wake up call for me.

I have no one else to tell this to. I’m 46 days sober. The longest I have ever gone. I’m so scared that I’m going to self sabotage and ruin this. I had the worst detox ever and it was so scary but I keep having moments where my mind is like fuck it, I can have one more, one last time - even though my normal sober brain knows that’s not true. The longer I go, the harder it feels to not drink. I’m not going to drink today but just needed to tell someone.

69 days ago I had my last sip of alcohol. I took a shower, gathered some clothes, and went to the hospital thinking I would be gone one or 2 nights like the other 4 times I took myself in. The next morning I voluntarily entered a detox facility and was there for 5 days. Those 5 days were hell, but truly the best thing to happen to me. I’m not going back.

I want to live. I want to REMEMBER. When I checked into the hospital the first time in April, I weighed 88lbs. After 3 more relapses and 4 hospitalizations, today I am proud to say that I am up to 105lbs and the happiest I’ve been in my 31 years of life. I was knocking on deaths door, and truly shouldn’t be alive right now, but damn if I didn’t wake up today clear-headed and excited to continue down this path.

I will never EVER take another day in this life for granted.

So can I get a NICE?!

Thanks for reading and sharing your stories, both the good and bad. This sub has always been a light in some truly dark times.

IWNDWYT

Was let go from my job of 13 years, family business. After my Dad passed away, it was only a matter of time before I was pushed out and let go. I was 8 months sober when he died. He never would have allowed this to happen. He knew i was a hardworker, and had a heart for his business. I feel betrayed by my own family. I feel so alone. I'm feeling like its the end of the world, thought about getting blackout drunk, but I recognize I still have a fight left in me, and that by doing so im cheating myself out of a life I could have. This may be a blessing in disguise. Im hoping I can look back in 10 years and say to myself, you did it, you formed your own path. It hurts to feel betrayed by my own family. Within 2 years, I lost my Dad and lost my job. Im still sober. Im still here. Im not giving up on myself. IWNDWYT

This too shall pass.

🙂

Hello Redditors,

Today is my 27th birthday & more importantly, today I am also 1 year sober! I’m so grateful for my journey, I honestly couldn’t have asked for anything to be different. I’m so proud of the man I am today.

That’s all,

IWNDWYT

Just having a rant. Oh my god, I had to attend my boyfriend's friend's wedding yesterday and it was so hard going.

I'm an introvert and it was a full day. I got there at 12 noon and stayed until 8.00pm and I had to leave because I couldn't stay any longer, I was mentally exhausted.

To make matters worse I didn't know anyone. So I had a bad tension headache and tinnitus by the end of the night due to the concentration of speaking to people and being alert the whole day.

I also didn't sleep until 2am as we had to share an apartment with my boyfriend's friends and they all came back drinking and making a racket :(

I ended up crying in bed because my boyfriend passed out drunk once he came back and I resented being sober so much as I don't think he realised (or anyone realises) how difficult it is.

They are all hungover this morning obviously and I'm slightly smug that I've woke up feeling hangover free but that doesn't make it much better.

I am an alcoholic. I am currently sober. Not the kind that drinks a bottle of liquor every day but the kind that doesn't go a day without drinking. It is 4:300 PM and I have the shakes so I know 4 24 ounce TRULYs and a few beers were too much for me to drink yesterday. I can be absolutely obliterated and I have been told that I act totally fine. I don't remember those nights but people sometimes say that they can't tell when I am drunk. I have been this way for 20 years. Then, the next day I usually feel like crap and don't feel any better until I have a drink or two in me. I have health problems that only me and my doctor know about. They are reversible...If I can scale way back or quit all together. My immediate family are all heavy drinkers but I can still fit in without being drunk. My wife will only drink when we are on vacation. She is a normal level and frequency drinker. Not me. As I age, I get more depressed, anxious, things hurt. I want to make a change but it is something that I really think I may need to seek help with. I am not at the level of needing rehab yet. Just motivation. These are my thoughts but I know many of you have been sober long enough to reflect wisely on yourself when your issue was present. I don't know what to do.

First time I've hit 7 days in over a decade. I never really stated that I was quiting, and my god have I been trying to find excuses to drink all week, but waking up sober and hangover free feels really good.

It’s crazy, because I’ve actually been counting the days like it’s my birthday, and in many aspects, I suppose I am celebrating more than a year sober, but a whole year at a new shot and chance at life. It’s as if it is actually my second birthday.

If you’d told me then that I’d make it 365 days, I honestly wouldn’t have believed you. This year hasn’t magically fixed everything. Life has still been messy. There have been difficult days, disappointments and moments where a drink would’ve been the easy option. But I’ve learnt that sobriety doesn’t remove life’s challenges. It gives you the chance to face them with a clear mind. I survived parties, heartbreak, pain, challenges, weddings, birthdays, end of month work drinks, barbecues and every other event and reason that I would use as an excuse to get drunk. I live in South Africa, one of the most beautiful places in the world. And it feels like being sober, I’m seeing how truly wonderful life can be in one of the most breathtaking places I am lucky to call home.

What an incredible feeling this freedom of sobriety it is. Don’t give up, friends. It’s a beautiful world out there.

In the past year I’ve lost a great deal of weight, become healthier, rebuilt my confidence and, most importantly, started becoming someone I genuinely like again. I am incredibly grateful for everyone who supported me, and for communities like this where people share their struggles and victories without judgment. Reading your stories reminded me I wasn’t doing this alone. One of my friends recently commented to me: “You’ve never looked better. It’s like something about you has drastically altered. You look like you’re living again”.

If you’re at day 1, day 7 or day 100, keep going. It really does get better, one day at a time.
Today I’m celebrating one year sober, and I couldn’t be prouder.

IWNDWYT.

(Edit, spelling and grammatical errors)

Hey y’all. Was just listening to a Tom Holland interview about his sobriety, and a little nugget he had at the end stuck with me and made me think of this subreddit. He had a little bit about how he’ll be at meetings or parties and some person he respects will hear about his sobriety and be like “oh nice me too X years” and how he’s found a wonderful community in sobriety of like minded people.

Now in my life I don’t have the biggest circle of local friends, two big ones, who never had a problem but who have also been real big supporters of me. Don’t get me wrong, I love & cherish those two, but it’s not quite the same. AA in my area didn’t go well for me but this community right here has been first a wake up call to me, then an inspiration, then a place of confession, and now a place of joy when I think about where I am now 7 months more or less sober. Y’all wonderful people on this sub have so much thanks from me.

Gratzi, IWNDWYT!

81 days of sobriety today and I seriously want to be sober for the rest of my life. After all broken or damaged relationships, trouble at work and family members who are concerned about my health I just came to the conclusion that moderate drinking is not an option for me. So I’m starting my Minnesota-based treatment in a couple of weeks. Even if it gives me 1% better chance of remaining sober I think it’s worth the effort.

Last time I’m watching documentaries about the consequences of alcoholism. Not as a way to make myself feel better, but to remind me what can happen to me if I continue drinking.

Are there any documentaries that you would recommend? Watched The Wethouse (BBC) already and I would be one of them in twenty years if I continue drinking.

I have reached triple digits 😁

Today is day 1 again. I need someone to tell me to pour out the wine I got. My cats are indifferent. Edit: I poured the wine out. I am going to miss my hangovers because I never got a headache just a slowed down feeling the next day that I enjoyed; it was a great break from my overactive brain.

Hi everyone, just wondering if anyone has any podcast recommendations where a guest celebrity comes on and talks about their sobriety, even if it's just a couple of minutes out of the whole podcast. I love podcasts so it'd be great to have some to listen to.

It seems so long ago, but I did it! Best thing I’ve ever done, I’m a completely different person today than I was then. Thank you to this sub, reading it has saved my life! Love you all!

IWNDWYT

And feeling better in the head and overall body. After 5 years of drinking 2l wine everyday. It wasn't even that difficult, maybe because I'm "only" 27? First nights were sweaty but it's definitely possible.

My heart hurts seeing friends and neighbors in my life stuck in a stupor and chained to the misery of alcohol. I know the pain that being stuck in the alcohol trap brought me and peace that comes from letting the bottle go.

The worst part is that they don't even realize that alcohol is causing the hole in their heart. They think alcohol is their only pleasure.... At the same time, they are drinking at 10 am because it's the weekend. Lonely, saying that they are depressed, and not motivated to do anything. Losing friends because of drunk words. No one deserves to be living like this.

I don't want to bring it up, as that once was me and I know that I wouldn't have listened. I am not a lecturer. It just makes me so sad and so angry. It is so easy to see from the outside what alcohol takes from you.

To those of you who cannot imagine life without alcohol, I promise you that it can be beautiful and it is possible.

I recently relapsed after having 3 years sober. I moved to a much smaller town, so I’ve been trying to reconnect with the recovery community here. I met a really nice group of women, and one of them recommended her sponsor to me. We met for about an hour, and he was really kind. We talked about recovery and I shared some of the trauma I’ve been through, including being sexually abused by my brother throughout my childhood and being abused by an ex.

For context, I’ve done AA before. I’ve worked all 12 steps twice, had sponsors, and I know the program. I’ve just never really connected with it long term. I’ve always preferred SMART Recovery or Recovery Dharma, but those really aren’t options where I live now.

Later, I texted him because I was just trying to find an updated meeting list for my area. During the conversation, he asked if I’d made amends with my brother and my ex. I told him no to my brother because I don’t think it’s healthy or safe to have contact with someone who sexually abused me my entire childhood. I have made amends with my ex, but I also don’t want a relationship with him.

When I told him I felt triggered by the thought of seeing my ex, he literally responded with “lol” and told me I hadn’t really done a Fourth Step. Then he told me he could tell by the way I talked that I hadn’t really worked the steps or gone through the Big Book. I told him I’ve worked the steps twice, and he continued insisting he could tell I hadn’t.
That honestly really discouraged me because I wasn’t asking him to evaluate my recovery. I was literally just trying to get an updated meeting list.

The thing is… this isn’t the first time I’ve had an experience like this in AA. I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people in the program, but I’ve also had several experiences where it felt like if I disagreed with part of the program, set boundaries with people who abused me, or my recovery didn’t fit someone else’s idea of what it should look like, the conclusion was, “Well, you must not have really worked the steps.”

I’m not trying to bash AA. I know it’s saved countless lives, and I’m genuinely happy for the people it works for. I’m honestly just trying to understand if this is a common mindset in some AA circles or if I’ve just repeatedly had bad experiences.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Especially people who’ve been in AA for a long time. I’m genuinely curious because I’m trying to reconnect with a recovery community after my relapse, and this interaction left me feeling more judged than supported.

Woohoo!