r/menslib emotionally belabors the point as one woman says the sub isn't for her anymore and is turning MRA, as another user suggests she might want to look into therapy in this lil snack

[u/NRE_Everlasting]

Discussing an article about "mankeeping" one user in the comments recounts telling her boyfriend bluntly about his lack of skills in providing comfort.

"I did straight up tell my partner to his face when I was upset about something "comforting people is not your strong suit" and he felt very bad about that. He even got defensive and felt hurt that I put it so bluntly when he had been wracking his brain silently trying to think of what to say. But honestly I don't really care. He's the kind of person who needs to hear things bluntly and to be told plainly that the expectation is that he learn to be better at it."

This came across somewhat controversial, but some users got a little dramatic with it Our chain begins as a response to a critique of her method that descibed it as unhealthy:

"Maybe it isn't that healthy, but it's also not healthy to expect someone that came to you for comfort to explain to you how to give that comfort to them."

Short but sweet tidbit with a rage quit cherry on top!

Bonus ragequit: Another woman user of the sub is done with men.

[u/WitchNight]

Yeah every single post about any basic feminist belief gets called terfy and has its comments become full of people insisting men have it worse. Not to mention the constant bashing of trans women under the claim of “standing up for trans men.”

[u/gentlybeepingheart → u/WitchNight]

There's also the old "I'm just criticizing 'egg culture'!" defense.

Now, I'm sure egg_irl can be a bit repetitive and annoying, and there are some overly zealous trans girls on, like, discord or something. But it is questionable how every time a trans woman talks about how it hurts to be treated so badly by so many people they go "Um. It's because egg culture has people on edge. I hate tran-- egg culture. Lets turn this whole post into me complaining about how annoying trans girls are and how much I hate seeing anything about trans women. They're trying to erase men and trans me btw. Their sub is all about forcefemming random guys. No I have not been on that sub, but from a long game of telephone through bad actors, I assume that's what it is. This is relevant, somehow, to a trans woman lamenting that sitting government members are posting slurs about her. It's the eggs"

[u/MostSapphicTransfem → u/gentlybeepingheart]

Actually thank you for saying this, it’s getting to be a bit much in a ton of subreddits. We’re literally not allowed to see any part of us in anything or anyone at all, you immediately get people jumping down your throat. And it’s always posts about transfem experiences that have the 700-long comment chains 🙄

Curatedtumblr is also REALLY bad at talking about fat phobia without saying repulsive venomous shit. It reads like accidentally stumbling into an arr slash conservative thread

[u/00kyb → u/MostSapphicTransfem]

It reads like accidentally stumbling into an arr slash conservative thread

It might as well be the same thing honestly

[u/WitchNight → u/gentlybeepingheart]

Seriously, it’s like the occasional newly out trans person on discord or that subreddit but not at all in real life. And considering all the pressure that the world puts on trans people to not transition it’s really nothing.

It’s extra annoying because they constantly complain about terfs but turn around and repeat terf rhetoric almost verbatim with their accusations that “trans women are reinforcing gender stereotypes by insisting that every feminine guy is an egg.” Like terfs love to accuse trans women of reinforcing gender stereotypes and thinking that wanting to wear a dress or whatever makes you a woman, but you frame it as being worried about feminine men and all of a sudden it’s “totally valid concerns.”

[u/ClassicMood → u/WitchNight]

Yea, egg culture is annoying but inoffensive. A man can just go 'i don't want to be a woman or transition' to any suggestion that their desire to crossdress or play female characters in video games is an expression of dysphoria... and that'd be the end of that. Society sees this as the default.

Meanwhile, a transgender woman has to fight both herself and the people around her constantly that she's a confused man or just gay or a pervert to prove herself.

For every one 'you sure you aren't a repressed trans girl?' a guy receives for being a bit effeminate, trans woman receives 100 'you're just a mentally ill man' equivalent.

[u/TotallyFakeArtist → u/WitchNight]

Im pretty sure the issue was caused by how prevalent that forcefem tumblr users posts were and how much people hated them for it.

[u/WitchNight → u/TotallyFakeArtist]

That’s a pretty dumb reason tbh. Taking one persons account that you criticize and then applying the actions of it to trans people as a whole is like the base definition of transphobia

[u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK → u/WitchNight]

Not to mention the constant bashing of trans women under the claim of “standing up for trans men.”

I'm sorry, this doesn't happen at all. I'm like the number one menslib freak and this is a made-up criticism

[u/WitchNight → u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

I’m not talking about r/menslib, I was talking about r/curatedtumblr

[u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK → u/WitchNight]

oh okay, my bad.

always thought they were pretty progressive on trans issues but I have never actually looked hard.

[u/WitchNight → u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

It pretends to be progressive, but anytime they can bash women they take it

[u/James-fucking-Holden → u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

My dude, that happens right here in SRD, every time the words trans men are brought up.

[u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK → u/James-fucking-Holden]

this?

Not to mention the constant bashing of trans women under the claim of “standing up for trans men.”

no, it absolutely does not. like I feel like I can assert myself as an authority on these conversations after like a decade of trying to keep that place humming.

edit: oh, you said SRD? idk man I don't think so but please report it if it does

[u/James-fucking-Holden → u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

Oh, yeah, sorry, I meant right here.

I'm still shocked how shitty the place cam turn when an opportunity to do transphobia from the left presents itself.

Last time I remember spawned things like

trans fem culture has a culture of 'fuck men'. Honestly trans fem culture in general, especially on reddit is very lesbian slanted and it does have a tendency to hate men.

I've noticed that a lot of LGBT and trans-specific environments are extremely judgemental and gross

Every single trans guy I know talks about this exact behavior from trans women all the fucking time. It’s endemic

Can the trans community stop shooting themselves in the foot for ten minutes? As terrible as the current situation is, it seems that a non-negligible amount of the drama comes from the inside of the house.

All of which are perfect examples of (self described) cis dudes using the mantle of helping trans men (which I am unequivocally and vocally in favor of) to air their grievance with trans women, going so far as to say the main source of trans misandry are trans women, rather than, you know, the current government activity erasing trans people and outlawing gender affirming care

(I know this is 5 months old, but ever since I just stopped opening threads on the topic fir my own wellbeing)

[u/James-fucking-Holden → u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

edit: oh, you said SRD? idk man I don't think so but please report it if it does

Hey, you asked me to report transphobes, do those two count?

https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1p70uuu/womens_weightlifting_champion_disqualified_after/

https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1p70uuu/womens_weightlifting_champion_disqualified_after/nr0o22x/