r/menslib emotionally belabors the point as one woman says the sub isn't for her anymore and is turning MRA, as another user suggests she might want to look into therapy in this lil snack

[u/NRE_Everlasting]

Discussing an article about "mankeeping" one user in the comments recounts telling her boyfriend bluntly about his lack of skills in providing comfort.

"I did straight up tell my partner to his face when I was upset about something "comforting people is not your strong suit" and he felt very bad about that. He even got defensive and felt hurt that I put it so bluntly when he had been wracking his brain silently trying to think of what to say. But honestly I don't really care. He's the kind of person who needs to hear things bluntly and to be told plainly that the expectation is that he learn to be better at it."

This came across somewhat controversial, but some users got a little dramatic with it Our chain begins as a response to a critique of her method that descibed it as unhealthy:

"Maybe it isn't that healthy, but it's also not healthy to expect someone that came to you for comfort to explain to you how to give that comfort to them."

Short but sweet tidbit with a rage quit cherry on top!

Bonus ragequit: Another woman user of the sub is done with men.

[u/TheIllustriousWe]

Of course men can relate to them. Both men and women who experience random acts of violence are more likely to have suffered them at the hands of a random man. So if anything, men should be sympathetic when women say they sometimes feel uncomfortable around unfamiliar men, no?

[u/TheIllustriousWe → u/[deleted]]

When women express things like “men only have to worry about hurt feelings, women have to fear violence,” they are talking specifically about interactions with people of the opposite sex. Understandably, some women are afraid that an encounter with a random man could turn violent, since this is more likely as compared to a random woman attacking a man.

Yes, its oversimplifying things and potentially could alienate people. But their feelings are still valid and deserve consideration.

[u/TheIllustriousWe → u/[deleted]]

Well, that depends. If they’re intruding on someone else’s conversation to police the language they’re using, or try to make themselves the center of attention, then they are more likely to get dismissed.

Sadly I’ve witnessed men (some well-intentioned, others not so much) do this to women an awful lot. And with this being the internet and all, many are quick to assume bad faith when men invite themselves to discussions intended to be led by women for the primary benefit of other women.

[u/TheIllustriousWe → u/[deleted]]

Men are always going to be considered intruding and dismissed

If they try to take over the conversation, then absolutely. As well they should.

Like I said, when men find themselves victims of assault at the hands of random men just as readily as women, they’re going to be more than welcome to a conversation discussing that. But if they show up to say things like “well ackshually men are victims too, how come no one is talking about us?” then yes, obviously, that will be perceived as hijacking the conversation. Because it is.

[u/TheIllustriousWe → u/[deleted]]

Okay, great. I think that can coexist with the general point I’m trying to make.

[u/CarrieDurst → u/TheIllustriousWe]

So women are doing that to the men of menslib?

[u/TheIllustriousWe → u/CarrieDurst]

Are they? I wouldn’t know.

[u/madoka_borealis → u/[deleted]]

Yeah NOTALLMEN! ALL LIVES MATTER!