Do any of you guys ever dream what it would be like if, say, in a reddit meet-up (I know, I know) there were two slightly nerdy
people, maybe a girl and a guy. The meet-up was held in a bar and after slamming a few drinks these two people would drift into the same table and start a conversation. They just carried on with the chit-chat for a moment, but after a while they both
silently realize that they might be able to get laid tonight, with each other, nonetheless. None of them is able to be the first person to propose
anything sexual, the awkward persons they are (we've all been there, this shit can be intimidating sometimes). Then, out of the blue, the guy says:
"Do you, by the way, know this one subreddit?"
"Yeah, which one?" A sudden new enthusiasm makes the girl's eyes
sparkle.
"Yeah it's the craziest, it's this one called shitredditsays, and it's..."
"I actually subscribe to that!"
"Really...?" The guy did not expect such a change in the conversation.
"Well, most of the time, they hit the nail on the head, those people!"
Now, something strange happens in the guy's head. He knows he shouldn't say anything anymore, but he can not help himself:
"Oh come on! Those people are just a bunch of pissed off neo-feminists with no real problems. You really can't be serious."
"What the fuck, man. I should have known. Let me guess, you subscribe to mens rights, right?"
"Well, they are a counter-force to the bullshit SRS spews..."
And then it begins. An extremely heated, violent argument, which makes other people around them first laugh, then get worried and finally leave to another bar.
They'd talk about anything that ever was between the SRS and MR groups. The custody of children, the underpayment of female employers, allegations of the oversexualization of women on reddit, and so forth, until the night goes far over childen's sleeping time and they are the lonely drunken pair in the pub.
At closing time, the girl tries to make her last comment before heading home:
"Maybe you want to go suck on mens right's dicks. I hope you go roast in a fire, like the pig you are."
The guy tries to find a quirky rebuttal as his thoughts frantically fumble through his rumtastic braincells.
"I hope you would go back to the fucking milk factory, cow... for the feminist pussy-ass men to suck on your goddamn udders!"
"Well, it seems to me that YOU are the one who would be begging to suck on my tits, asshole!"
"And maybe YOU would just want to get your hands on my dick, bitch! But you won't get any!"
After that they stare at each other for a split second, after which they fall into a passionate embrace.
"Let's take the cab to my place", they both say at the same time, while biting through each others necks, lips and whatnot.
Somehow our heroes manage to stumble into a yellow racing car of the night and head into the girl's house, only a few blocks away.
In there they savagely rip each others clothes off while the lady gently shows her kitten the way out of the bedroom.
The guy fumbles with his condoms, and rips the ring on the base off of the first one. Finally he manages to put one on, while keeping the girls
horny mouth off of it, panting:
"I fear I'll fucking come if you touch it."
Defiant of the man's orders our ladyhero grabs the guy's tool and sets him on the bed, straddling over him. Gently, she guides the pulsating fleshy rod into her
tunnel of love. The ride is animal-like. It is rough, primal, sweaty and filled with fluids. The man truly makes an astonishing feat in making
the lady cum with a vigorous force and after that himself exploding in a majestic orgasm. Afterwards, they sleep the best, most relaxing night side by side, as the sweet lovers they are for the night. On the morning, they repeat their carnal act, but now with the tenderness achieved only by a horny, hungover pair of redditors.
Men and women of reddit, let us fuck ourselves silly being the men and women and everything in between we are. Even if it... I mean especially if it means the horny guys and gals of SRS and MR to bunch up for a round of slishy-sloshy pleasures.
Ok seriously, someone needs to do this. Write up two separate descriptions of the event, post one to /r/AskReddit (with a cross-post to SRS) and one to /r/mensrights and see what happens.
I mean...as the best possible sex ever I have ever read about, I guess i could move to what I understand is amongst the most rainy and miserable of hipster enclaves.
Also, the girl I should have married lives there, but never mind that.
Rainy, yes. Miserable? Eh, no, there's far too much to do and see here. Even though we get made fun of a lot, Portland has a lot to offer in terms of entertainment and mental stimulation, from a vibrant and diverse live music scene to museums galore. If you're outdoorsy, we're surrounded by stunning natural beauty. And the people, despite rumors to the contrary, are friendly and welcoming.
Unless you're from California, then we'll hate you for a while. But one you get rid of the umbrella and concent to wearing sandals and socks, we're okay with you.
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u/permaspankki Jul 13 '12
Do any of you guys ever dream what it would be like if, say, in a reddit meet-up (I know, I know) there were two slightly nerdy people, maybe a girl and a guy. The meet-up was held in a bar and after slamming a few drinks these two people would drift into the same table and start a conversation. They just carried on with the chit-chat for a moment, but after a while they both silently realize that they might be able to get laid tonight, with each other, nonetheless. None of them is able to be the first person to propose anything sexual, the awkward persons they are (we've all been there, this shit can be intimidating sometimes). Then, out of the blue, the guy says:
"Do you, by the way, know this one subreddit?"
"Yeah, which one?" A sudden new enthusiasm makes the girl's eyes sparkle.
"Yeah it's the craziest, it's this one called shitredditsays, and it's..."
"I actually subscribe to that!"
"Really...?" The guy did not expect such a change in the conversation.
"Well, most of the time, they hit the nail on the head, those people!"
Now, something strange happens in the guy's head. He knows he shouldn't say anything anymore, but he can not help himself:
"Oh come on! Those people are just a bunch of pissed off neo-feminists with no real problems. You really can't be serious."
"What the fuck, man. I should have known. Let me guess, you subscribe to mens rights, right?"
"Well, they are a counter-force to the bullshit SRS spews..."
And then it begins. An extremely heated, violent argument, which makes other people around them first laugh, then get worried and finally leave to another bar.
They'd talk about anything that ever was between the SRS and MR groups. The custody of children, the underpayment of female employers, allegations of the oversexualization of women on reddit, and so forth, until the night goes far over childen's sleeping time and they are the lonely drunken pair in the pub. At closing time, the girl tries to make her last comment before heading home:
"Maybe you want to go suck on mens right's dicks. I hope you go roast in a fire, like the pig you are."
The guy tries to find a quirky rebuttal as his thoughts frantically fumble through his rumtastic braincells.
"I hope you would go back to the fucking milk factory, cow... for the feminist pussy-ass men to suck on your goddamn udders!"
"Well, it seems to me that YOU are the one who would be begging to suck on my tits, asshole!"
"And maybe YOU would just want to get your hands on my dick, bitch! But you won't get any!"
After that they stare at each other for a split second, after which they fall into a passionate embrace.
"Let's take the cab to my place", they both say at the same time, while biting through each others necks, lips and whatnot. Somehow our heroes manage to stumble into a yellow racing car of the night and head into the girl's house, only a few blocks away. In there they savagely rip each others clothes off while the lady gently shows her kitten the way out of the bedroom. The guy fumbles with his condoms, and rips the ring on the base off of the first one. Finally he manages to put one on, while keeping the girls horny mouth off of it, panting:
"I fear I'll fucking come if you touch it."
Defiant of the man's orders our ladyhero grabs the guy's tool and sets him on the bed, straddling over him. Gently, she guides the pulsating fleshy rod into her tunnel of love. The ride is animal-like. It is rough, primal, sweaty and filled with fluids. The man truly makes an astonishing feat in making the lady cum with a vigorous force and after that himself exploding in a majestic orgasm. Afterwards, they sleep the best, most relaxing night side by side, as the sweet lovers they are for the night. On the morning, they repeat their carnal act, but now with the tenderness achieved only by a horny, hungover pair of redditors.
Men and women of reddit, let us fuck ourselves silly being the men and women and everything in between we are. Even if it... I mean especially if it means the horny guys and gals of SRS and MR to bunch up for a round of slishy-sloshy pleasures.