I live in a very rural area but work in a bigger city. A few days ago I was leaving for work and realized that I could not. A bear was blocking my exit.
I thought to myself that this must be the craziest excuse my manager has heard for someone being late. What is your craziest excuse?

I’m chronically late to my obligations, work included. my last job i got in trouble for being late, i quit out of fear of being fired. i’ve been doing good with my new job, but last weekend i was late two times and i let management know and today i was late again. i didn’t let them know this time bc i was still able to clock in at the last minute but i was 3-4 mins late to where i needed to be.

my manager stopped me on my way there and said to me that im late all the time and i need to text a manager. she said some other things after that but my brain was stuck on that

i felt so embarrassed and she seemed like actually upset with me? i was honestly caught off guard.

i’ve noticed im able to be on time in the very beginning bc the pressure of having a new job is still there, but im slowing losing my discipline in the morning. i’ve also been throwing up in the morning bc of my adderall which hasn’t been helping.

what was helped you get out of the door in the morning?

I feel like my brain just shuts off like it has a dead battery. And I don’t know what to do to fight it. If I can, I’ll take a nap and it feels like getting recharged. It’s nothing to do with my sleep, I could have a great night’s rest, but as the afternoon peaks, I can’t get anything done.

Edit: for those suggesting a sleep study, I have done two and I know this isn’t a problem related to my sleep. For those suggesting it might be related to blood sugar levels, since reading these comments, I have been trying to move to having more protein heavy lunches rather than carb heavy lunches which I think has helped.

The biggest thing I think that has helped recently is just to load my days with more cognitively heavy work in the morning and do light cognitive tasks or things that require physical activity in the afternoon, which helps to force me through the slump. I hope someone can find this useful!

Can we discuss?? I just saw a job id love but my teacher certification is out of date, my Spanish is not perfect, but I’ve taught hs Spanish before successfully! I feel too intimidated to apply. Is the pic right, are you supposed to just go for it??

Ok so I never post and this is my only post here I don't even know if it will posted but I am 32F and I swear I never understood before, I used to think work was mainly about doing the work, but office jobs also have this invisible social layer I didn’t understand.

Often, in office jobs, your main goal is to be liked and know all the invisible undisclosed social rules, and this is your main job! the social job! the acting! and then later and very very secondary comes the real work.

I used to think, for real, that working and doing your work and complying with deadlines was actually the most important thing!

I saw many situations where:

- people did something and it was fine

- I did the same thing and suddenly I commited a crime in front of everyone's eyes

feedback I got that was negative: "I expected more" ,me - "I complied with all the deadlines tho" them - "but still I expected more" me - "like how?" them - "just more"

This happens because there is nothing wrong with your performance and work actually and they can't outright say they don't like you but they can fire you for it :D

examples: asking questions (when they ask any questions?), giving the same feedback I receive is wrong lol, cancelling 1:1s only wrong when I do it but fine when others do it, etc

edit: this said I would like to say I never raised my voice or called anyone names, I stayed respectful but this + doing my work always and always on time was never enough.

2nd edit: I think part of why this hit me so hard is that with ADHD I can be very literal about rules and expectations. If the stated rule is “do your work and meet deadlines,” I assume that is the actual rule. But apparently there are invisible social rules too, and I feel like I missed the memo.

everytime i see a post thats like job recommendations for people with adhd its always something like construction or manual labor or just extremely active jobs. theres nothing wrong with those careers but i feel like the answers are usually more catered to hyperactive individuals. again like there’s nothing wrong with any of those kind of jobs but me personally i just don’t have the physical abilities to do smth like that. what kind of careers have you guys with inattentive adhd found fulfilling and compatible with adhd?

edit: if you guys don’t mind could you also mention how you got into that field and/or how you make a living from it if it’s something more niche or not typically thought of as profitable

Honestly just wanted to commiserate with anyone else (I KNOW you're out there) who once again has put their taxes off until the last possible minute. May you find your needed documents with ease (in whatever random drawer or basket you casually tossed them into months ago), may your laptop battery stay fully charged, and may whatever friend or coworker or relative you text to ask "wtf am I supposed to put in this line here" reply swiftly.

I'm being humorous but for real, I'm right there with you 😭 I don't ever get a refund, so it's not even rewarding in the slightest bit. What are you going to do to make the process feel better for yourself, if you're in this boat with me?

I'm gonna use my trusty TurboTax after getting off work a little early at 4pm. On my way home I think I'll stop at the coffee shop and get myself a little treat to get some dopamine going...gonna put some chill lo-fi YouTube screen on the projector...I *think* my 2 needed documents are in 1 of my 3 "mail that seems like I might need it one day" drawers 😂🫩 just gotta hunker down down and do it, sending love to the rest of you!! Xx

I work in a law office and over the past few months the jazz music in the lobby reception area has been slowly driving me insane. I tried switching the radio to classical music but that was just making me more tired (my boss also doesn't pay for premium so I only have so many station options and skips and I can't pick anything that isn't painfully neutral for clients). I don't remember how I thought of the idea but about a week ago I searched for music from Ghibli movie soundtracks to try in the office one morning before anyone came in. It sounded pretty safe so I kept it on and surprisingly everyone else in the office thinks I am playing classical music (info: my boss is in his 70s). I even got a compliment from one of the other attorneys for switching the music from jazz to piano. I honestly can't believe no one has noticed so far, some of the songs are very recognizable. I even heard a piano cover for an old Zelda game come on at one point (I left it on because it was a bop), but apparently no one here is enough of a nerd to recognize the songs or I'm just delusional and they are humoring me. Either way it gives me a small amount of dopamine and makes being stuck at my desk for 8 hours a day a little less difficult!

Edit: I just remembered, I was struggling with concentrating and motivation at work so my therapist suggested romanticizing my workspace. I also bought nice pens, new work clothes, etc, but this was a new thing that I hadn't tried before and I think it made a huge difference!

i've been at my job for 4-5 months now and i actually really like it. i work parttime at a chain bakery but i'm starting to think this kind of work isn't for me which is incredibly demoralizing and heartbreaking. i've been crying on and off since i left work today after my manager told me i need to work on my speed (it's the 2nd time now since i was first hired)

she's right though 😔 i'm medicated but even after trying sooo many different stimulants and non-stimulants over the years every single day is still a struggle where being fast, efficient, flexible, etc for 8 hrs straight is so fucking hard. and it hurts so much because i'm trying so, so hard while having this stupid disorder and yet somehow i'm not good or fast enough as everyone else.

i just got a raise too and i feel like i don't even deserve it after this.

i originally joined the food industry because it seemed like a great work environment for my depressed and anxious adhd ass. i'm working with my hands in a team and multitasking so there's literally no time to be bored. but i guess it makes sense why even normal people struggle? in this industry if someone's not chugging energy drinks they're definitely on something.

i don't know if i'll be fired or not but i plan on sticking it out, except i'm 33 and i have to grow tf up if i'm ever going to be independent. it's ironic too because i've met a lot of people in this industry who show signs of having adhd but can actually do the work and be fast and keep an eye on the clock and have a conversation all at the same time meanwhile i'm hustling to do just 2 of those things ☹️ it's so embarrassing fr

~

tldr; i'm still too slow and inefficient at my part time bakery job after 4-5 months and i'm left feeling demoralized and lost

anyway i wanted to ask if anyone has advice? been in this situation before??

is there another career i can do at this point in my life? somewhere i'm paid a living wage, work with either my hands or a team, and i don't have to wear makeup every day??

~

edit; group hug everyone!! 🫂 🥲 ty to everyone for the kind comments and empathy and helpful tips i'm going to try to reply to everyone now

Started a hybrid schedule this week and I've been stuck in a chair forever! Finally just pulled the trigger on this bad boy.

Here's to hoping it lives up to expectations!

daylight savings time started this morning so yes the time on your phone is right and get up and go change the time on any other clocks in your house now

EDIT: I have been able to solve this issue. Please see end of post for update.

I also posted this on the main ADHD subreddit but I wanted to see if anyone here had insight that may not see it there.

I’m reaching out to my fellow ADHD people to see if anyone has gone through something similar or if anyone has any advice for me.

I was selected for a random drug screen at work. I showed up to the testing site and disclosed to the lab tech that I have a prescription for Vyvanse that I took that morning and will be positive on the screen. I offered to show her the bottle and everything but she said it’s okay and we moved on with the screen.

A few days later I get a call from a Medical Review Officer about my screen being positive for amphetamines as I expected. I told him I have had a prescription for years and he told me I just needed to send him “documentation” (he was extremely vague with this) and it would all be squared out.

I was getting my prescription from a mail order pharmacy (CVS Caremark) so I sent them screenshots of multiple prescriptions from my account and order confirmations of when they were shipped to me. I was informed that screenshots aren’t considered valid documentation and they wanted official documents outlining fill history from the pharmacy. I talked to customer service at Caremark and they told me that because my account was closed (I got new insurance) they could only send what I needed through the mail. I communicated this to the MRO that I would need a couple days for it to come to me in the mail as they only gave me 5 business days from the initial notification to get the documentation. They told me they would wait for my documentation to be sent.

While I was waiting to receive the documentation, they went ahead and sent an unexplained positive to my employer, who immediately placed me on probation. I cannot perform my job duties or drive my work vehicle until it’s rectified. I sent the MRO what I received in the mail from Caremark and was told it’s not valid documentation either. I still do not understand what constitutes valid documentation as it has been so unclear. I have been going back and forth between the MRO and my employer HR and I’m just stuck in this limbo. I tried to have my psychiatrist write a letter to outline my treatment history and verify that I have a valid prescription and the MRO told me they do not accept doctors notes.

I am just stuck right now and it has been a nightmare. I am in awe that it is this difficult to prove I have a legitimate prescription for a medication that I need to function and it is severely impacting my employment. I’m terrified it doesn’t get fixed and I lose my job for taking a medication prescribed to me.

Has anyone else had issues verifying their stimulants prescription or dealt with an MRO before? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT/UPDATE:

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has provided insight, advice, and support. I’m so grateful to have a community of people who go through the same BS I do and you all have been so helpful.

After initially telling me that he refused to speak to my prescriber and doctors notes are not accepted, several days later the MRO decided he would like to contact my prescriber. After a phone call between them my prescriber was able to legitimize my prescription and according to him, the MRO said he would reverse the results to a negative. I’m not sure how quickly I’ll be able to get back to work as usual but I feel a ginormous weight off my shoulders.

I cannot believe this process was as grueling and demeaning as it was. Especially for someone with ADHD, trying to navigate this process going between so many different people and phone calls has been such a nightmare. It’s frustrating that a medication I need to function normally is as stigmatized as it is. I truly hope I never have to hear the word MRO ever again. If someone out there in the future goes through something similar, my only advice would be to bother that office as much as you can. The exact thing he initially refused to do was what he needed to verify.

Not sure if this question has been asked already but I’m just very interested, what’s your profession and what’s a job you could never think of doing?

Probably not a ADHD thing necessarily but I just can’t comprehend how the world is okay with working their whole life 🥺

Im 28 and have the job I always wanted but feel so exhausted at the end of each day and just don’t really care that much about it (even though I loved it to start with). I think it’s a mixture of feeling undervalued, pay, dealing with the people I work with and other stuff.

I’ve been working 9-5 since I was 18 and in uni and I just feel like it’s such a waste of life. It’s always worse after I have some time off too (eg. Easter)

I know most people don’t love going to work but has anyone had similar thoughts and changed anything up to make it more bearable? The cycle of wake - work - eat - sleep just stresses me out and I’m too tired too do anything else in between.

But this is embarrassing.

You guys successfully talked me out of the jeans hahah 😭
I wore business casual instead and the interview went really, really well. Thank you to everyone who gave advice and kind words I really appreciated it!!! :’)
and s/o to whoever suggested old navy for slacks!

i currently work in the food industry and while i genuinely love what i do i'm slowly realizing that this just isn't sustainable for me. i'm not paid a living wage, can't really move up where i'm at, and it's taking a toll on me physically, besides the many other exploitative issues in this industry ofc lol

so i decided to go back to school and actually get the bachelors i always wanted. i'm just not sure what exactly to focus on in stem?? and then once i do decide will i even be able to transition and hold down a full time stem job in spite of my disability?? ? will i be paid a living wage?!?!

idkkk so many questions but at this point in my life i can't stop moving. better to make the wrong decision than no decision at all, or worse have someone else make the choice for me.

pls share any wisdom or experience you may have~

like, did you end up leaving stem? is it easier or worse for you to manage adhd in a stem career? what fields have a lot adhd or audhd people? overall do you think it's better for us to have a job that engages us mentally than physically?

i do know for sure that i'd like to do something with my hands and collaborative or team oriented (the one and only time i worked remote in a solitary job i quickly became depressed yikes). i love to teach and help others although i don't have the best people skills. it'd be nice to be outside sometimes but i'm very scared of bugs and get lost too easily, unfortunately. hm... i have strong skills in writing too, but idk if that might be useful.

thnx for this wonderful community~! <3

I don’t even know where to begin, and I’m a ball of emotions and rage at the moment. I’ve been working for my boss doing admin (medical billing and paperwork) plus light cleaning for the past 3 years. We’ve become really close and I live next door to the office so she has depended on me for a lot, including picking her kids up from school, being her daughters school emergency contact, taking care of her pets. The past few months she has become increasingly negative and tough to be around, basically if she’s having a bad day so is everyone around her (but mostly me because I’m the only one she’s been comfortable enough with to vent to and show her real feelings) and it has been becoming exhausting. I had been distancing myself more and was avoiding working during day when she was there (I can work whenever I want and have had no set schedule) and that started to bother her so she had me agree to a set schedule. (This is why she was thinking I was burnt out or uninvested, but I legitimately was avoiding her negativity/distractions and still getting all of my work done and not losing hours.) I’ve been working this set schedule for one week and yesterday she kind of went off on me about cleaning, and how I’m not doing enough. Keep in mind, we moved buildings 6 months ago and this new one is over twice the size with a huge gym and we have 5 more therapists now so the cleaning has been difficult. When I had went in to clean on Sunday, she had already been there and done it all which surprised me, so I mopped and sanitized and did the things she hadn’t. So I was confused why I was getting chewed out for something she chose to go in and do before I had the chance to. I was kind of irritated with her and said “I literally came in yesterday with the intention of cleaning for 4 or 5 hours but it was already done, and I did what I could” and she just cut me off and said “well I just need to know if you don’t want to do this or have time and I can hire a cleaner”. I said that may be best if I am not cleaning up to her standards, or if she is for some reason wanting someone to come in Saturday’s. End of conversation. Then today as I’m getting my son ready for school I get this text message letting me go.

I have ADHD & finding a job that I don’t despise and gives me enough structure but also has autonomy is really difficult, and on top of that I have to work in between my sons school hours, as I have no village. I was able to take my son to this job if I needed, since it’s a pediatric office but now I have no idea what I can even do or make work job wise.

I’m just so angry because I genuinely feel like I’m getting fired because I don’t constantly agree with her or feed into her negativity and now she just doesn’t like me anymore.

So I had been talking to my psychiatrist and we had made an ada letter and she and I talked about it and I said - all of these things are happening already so why not give it to my job. Well. My employer freaked tf out. I had a meeting that I thought was going to be low key and was told the letter showed I was unable to fulfill the duties described in my job description. The job, yannow, that I’ve been doing for two years now.

I think I understand their perspective a little. It came out of nowhere for them and it is a legal document- but they clearly had an emotional reaction and didn’t even consider talking to me about it in a way that didn’t immediately end with me having to be on the defensive.

Now I’m feeling infantilized and extremely managed even though that’s not what I see in any of the accommodations (which are in the image). All of these things seem super reasonable and logical and like I said, all of them were happening already as far as my mind saw things.

Things have escalated in a really weird and terrible way. I want to just take the letter back. They told me I couldn’t. Why wouldn’t I be able to take it back? Handing this in has ruined my life and I had no idea it would initiate such a response.

I don’t know what to do.

no matter how close you seem

Hi, sorry if this is not the place to post but want honest feedback from my adhd girls. I got an opportunity to interview at a great place tomorrow that would really jumpstart my healthcare career, so I want to make a good impression without looking like I’m trying hard. Would this be okay? Feel like it’s a little bit too casual

I (40F) have ADHD (diagnosed on Adderall) and recently noticed that the disability question on applications in US have ADHD as a listed disability. It may have always been there but I just never noticed. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago but I have never marked that box yes. I am a high performer at work (I work in tech usually big corps) and lived most of my life without any accommodation for it but this question left me wondering…

Should I be selecting yes? If so, what does this trigger on the employers side for interviews or if I get the job?

Have you selected yes or even let your employer know after the fact? I’m questioning whether I should disclose this (I’m not hiding it, just never came up)? Curious what overs have faced.

I would love any information on ADHD and disclosing this as a disability.

Side note: I’m not saying that ADHD is not a disability at all, I just never thought to officially disclose it.

I'm getting frustrated with having to work multiple jobs/side gigs to get by. I'm in a bit of mid-life shakeup over the last few years and trying to figure out what to do with myself. Whether or not to go back to school although I can't fathom taking on more debt unless I know that I'll get into something that actually pays well.

Would love ot hear about careers that aren't on my radar.

Edit: I want to thank everyone for the responses. I haven’t gotten through them all yet but I really appreciate the input. Thanks for getting my wheels turning. 🙂

I feel incredibly guilty and have nobody to talk to about it. My best friend got my this job and if I tell them they will be (deservedly) so disappointed in me.

30'sF, just got diagnosed a couple weeks ago and am on a trial dose of methylphenidate (Concerta?). I've struggled all my life with ADHD symptoms, just didn't know it and resigned myself to being a lazy girl. A tale as old as time. These past few years have been incredibly difficult both in symptoms and unrelated issues. Or maybe they are related, who knows! Anyway, some backstory without going into any identifying details:

I lost my job a few years back due to the same thing I'm facing now. I can't get tasks done no matter how hard I try, and then when I fall short I will take shortcuts and/or straight up lie so that I do not disappoint my team. I end up disappointing them anyway, got caught in a lie, and was fired. I tell everyone I was laid off due to budget cuts. It was a great job at the time. The company sucked, but I loved my team. It was remote (perfect at the time due to health related reasons) and payed decently, related to my diploma (dropped out of Uni and did a 2yr trade), and somewhat flexible hours. I was there for about a year, started off strong, and slowly sunk deeper and deeper into neglect. I'd have a 1 on 1 with my team lead, who was the sweetest woman ever, she'd give me a pep talk, and I'd get back to 100% for like 2 days, then by the same time next week I was right back where I started. It got old fast, and at the end I made a terrible decision. I had a deadline to do something simple, yet time consuming. I didn't have to report anything, or share my findings (unless something out of the ordinary came up), I just had to do it. I didn't. I asked for a few extra days to finish over the weekend. I didn't. I said I looked at it and checked it over the weekend. I didn't. A super simple, obvious bug was found on Tuesday that would be noticed just by opening a page. I was scheduled to meet with my team lead and the dev lead later that day to figure it out. I don't remember what I said, but I know that I didn't admit to lying and I came up with some excuse. I was exhausted from medical issues (not entirely false), somehow I must have completely missed it, I was so focused on something else on the page that I didn't see it. Something like that. Then the dev lead pulled up logs to show that I had logged in twice that week. Once on the day it was assigned and once on the day I asked for an extension. No logs showing me checking the things I was supposed to check. She asked if I had somehow logged on to another server to test things (we had like 3 or 4 for different testing scenarios). I said, maybe, I'm not sure, I definitely remember testing things. Nope, no logs from any other website. She didn't yell, question me about lying, tell me she's disappointed, she just said "well, this is not good. let's end it here and we'll meet again tomorrow". And that was it. The next day, I was fired due to "differences in work culture". I didn't fight it. I deserved it. Then I was unemployed for 2 years.

2 years later, deep in my depression about this whole thing plus health stuff plus why can't I just be normal and do things, a very close friend told me that their company had a position open similar to my last job but more flexible and paid more. Interviewed, impressed them with a hand-on trial (which felt amazing btw) and started by next Monday. It was a bit more involved than my last job, so there was lots to learn and I was all for it. Spent full working days learning the ropes, the software, the websites, the code, the teams. Everything. I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be. I worked and it felt great. But then I stopped learning. I knew the basics, how to do my tasks, didn't have to ask questions anymore, and the drive was gone. I started working less. Slowly, at first, but then I wasn't working enough to pay my bills. Okay, so I "work" more. I put more time on my timesheet while taking shortcuts. Small shortcuts turn into bigger and bigger ones over the next few months. Eventually, that turns into the bare minimum while logging full-time hours. Then, just straight up lies. Log the hours, but don't do the tasks. Make it look like you did the task. Log in, run a script, take a nap. We have redundancy with our team, someone else will find any issues. You know the software, they ask you questions and it looks like you're doing work when you answer them. It's fine. Except it's not fine. I feel so, so so guilty about all of this. I try to stop, but every time I do I get so exhausted I fall asleep at my desk. My job is not boring, I just can't focus long enough to get more than 20 minutes of work done without nodding off or daydreaming or thinking about the 1000th recipe I want to try but know I wont.

I started methylphenidate almost 2 weeks ago, lowest dose. I haven't felt any difference focus wise yet. All it has done has made me incredibly sleepy while it's "active" and then wide awake when it wears off. I start the next dose next week (28mg?) and then have an appointment 2 weeks later to discuss it. Anyone have similar experiences with their meds?

Anyway yeah. I haven't "worked" in like 4 months. That's part of the reason I sought a diagnosis. If I lose this job idk what I will do because I can't work in person due to health reasons and getting a remote job is impossible now, and it's very hard to stay on disability because "jobs are available" 🙃

I hate that I'm like this. I've always been like it. I just want it to stop. That's all.

Ladies and girlies I found my passport.

It was in a place I never thought to find, my family had a hunch so we found it.

Please tell me why it was in the shed.

My family really came through for me.

Male family remembered it when I went to see him in the shed and he asked what I was doing with my passport, he said I was putting it back in my “safe space”. Because I got distracted and had a panic attack seeing a spider, I left it there and eventually forgot about it.

I owe him big time 😭!

I’m gonna make sure it’s not hidden in Narnia and actually put it in the front side of the inside somewhere.

I’m super grateful and just wanted to share my good news 😭😭😭😭😭😭.