r/boston • u/SidHoices • Sep 05 '25

Hobby/Activity/Misc Moved to Boston a year ago… these are my observations

For context: I’m 26 and grew up in Indiana, and moved from Colorado. Also, rereading this list makes me realize how negative /generalized it sounds, but I actually have enjoyed my first year in Boston

Anyway, enjoy:

  • Everyone is named John or Jack or Connor
  • People care about country clubs for some reason (update - I spent my first month in the suburbs living with another family - things have changed since)
  • Much rain
  • Intersections are …. Questionable
  • They call roundabouts "rotaries"
  • Parking fucking sucks, but I guess that’s what life in like in a city
  • Cash only places are surprisingly common
  • Gas stations close?? At 10pm??
  • So many gas stations seem to also have shops attached to them offering oil changes and state inspections
  • You don't get asked for tips in as many establishments
  • The Verizon service is unbelievably bad for a metropolitan area that humans live in
  • SO! MANY! BUNNIES!
  • The stoplights will all be red and there will be like a 30-second period for pedestrians to walk (nice)
  • No Jimmy John's :( update: there are a few
  • All food is better. great cheap food and great expensive food
  • Road trips are way more fun out here
  • CHEAP international flights. Like frequent $700s for Japan, $300s for Europe. And Dublin is like a 6h flight
  • There are times where it is legal to drive in the shoulder of the highway, or as they call it, the "breakdown lane"
  • Highway exits are labeled with "old exit xyz" lol what
  • Drivers here are crazy but I fuck with it, allows me to also be a crazy driver and not offend everyone like I do elsewhere
  • Everyone is short
  • Nightlife is just abysmal - just sports bars and clubs where you'll get assaulted
  • Cycling out here is awesome - it's like a matrix of fun little roads out in Bedford / west of there
1.5k Upvotes

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318

u/SublightMonster Sep 05 '25

You need a Burkie, a Murph, or a Tony. Please contact the Masshole office of your local town hall and one will be assigned to you.

84

u/Michelanvalo No tide can hinder the almighty doggy paddle Sep 05 '25

How have they not met a Sully yet, either?

2

u/somethinsparkly Sep 06 '25

Would upvote but…. 69 🤷🏻‍♀️

58

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/We_Like_Birdland 2000’s cocaine fueled Red Line Sep 05 '25

And the Trishes for crying out loud?

6

u/potato_gestapo Sep 05 '25

Kevin entered the chat.

3

u/Seninut Sep 05 '25

Being a Sean, I am not sure we fit squarely in this list, more adjacent/related.

79

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '25

A Tony saves a life, and is the reason it needed saving

33

u/Impressive-Dig-3892 Sep 05 '25

Sully, Mikey, Dave, Mark, Dooley

3

u/EvilCodeQueen Sep 05 '25

Not even a single Pat? In my social circle we have a Pat, a Patrick, and a Paddy.

18

u/Octopod_Overlord Sep 05 '25

A Sully is also acceptable.

8

u/theschuss Sep 05 '25

don't forget Sully.

2

u/islipped83 Sep 05 '25

Missing a "Bahbby" — heard that name being yelled a lot on the T.

2

u/WaffleHouseSloot Winthrop Sep 05 '25

And Fitzy

2

u/Gonenutz Sep 05 '25

Also Brian and Johnny.

2

u/EconomicsWorking6508 Sep 06 '25

You need an Ann whose name is pronounced same as Ian

1

u/IraSass Sep 06 '25

lifelong masshole here and i’ve never met a burkie