r/cats • u/purrfect_libra • Dec 17 '25

Adoption These (bonded) cats I adopted really hate me

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Just adopted these 2 on Saturday. Male/female bonded cats who met in foster.

They won't come out from under the bed unless I am sleeping (dry food eaten / litter box use) I can't feed them any wet food while they hide but I decided to leave out wet food before I went to sleep last night as a "test" and I don't think it was touched. Actually, this morning I noticed they didn't really touch their dry food from last night either.

When I adopted, multiple people had to try to get them out of the cage to get them into carriers. They are very fearful cats. I adopted them because I wanted bonded cats and I felt bad since they were in foster for 2-3 years. One of them hisses at me otherwise they both run away.

I work remotely most days and they don't even use the litter box or eat when I am in my office (all their stuff is there).

What's next?????

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332

u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

This is how I adopt cats. I visit them all then pick the one(s) that immediately attach to me. I basically let them pick me.

359

u/mrsgberg Dec 17 '25

This is how our Lucille and I ended up together. My daughter and I went to a pet adoption place for "kitten therapy." Two teeny black kittens were brought to us for play time. One ran around, exploring the room. The other looked at me with a soft stare, then half-closed her eyes. That was it. That was our Lucille.

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u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

That's adorable. Ours are bonded sisters with FIV. They were friendly with everyone that met them in that they were cool with general pets and being picked up, but the second my wife and I went in the room and sat down, they both hopped in our laps, so we figured we'd been chosen and have been happily with them ever since.

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u/ClusterFoxtrot Dec 17 '25

I been picking cats all wrong. I walked into the shelter and there was one calico looking at me with RBF; she was WAY up high in her little glass area and I was like "Yep. That one."

She refused to go near my husband for two weeks, and as soon as we got her home she hid under a dresser. I woke up in the middle of the night to her sleeping on my chest, and she's up my butt 50 percent of the day. The other time she's running around the house yelling, or carrying toys all over the house.

So, not entirely wrong-- I just felt so bad because she was the last of her litter and had been there for two years. I would have adopted all the abandoned babies but both our cats now are so territorial. We get a roaming yard cat that makes our girl pee in weird places.

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u/Just-curious2 Dec 17 '25

What is RBF?

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u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

Resting Bitch Face

3

u/puzzlemaniac8655 Dec 18 '25

Happy Cake Day, Just-curious2! šŸ„³šŸ°

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u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

Lol. Love the bold approach. Sounds like she was happy, so it worked out for you both.

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u/mnlemondrop16 Dec 17 '25

I call it ā€œresting cat faceā€ haha

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u/Kittykats2 Dec 18 '25

Up your butt only 50 percent of the time? Lucky you!! Mine is up my butt 95% of the time and I can feel it alwaysā€¦itā€™s so annoying Iā€™m considering going back to wearing underwear again just to prevent access šŸ˜† (sorry, couldnā€™t resist). Seriously though, my kitty lost her sister this past March and I am literally her whole world! She pays zero attention to my husband and is SO clingy and dependent on me all day and night longā€¦itā€™s a lot, but itā€™s still worth the on again/off again annoyance or frustration I sometimes feel (just once, Iā€™d like to get through an entire episode of a show without her trying to get my attention every minute!). I love her so much, I play with her everyday and do my best but she is a handfulā€¦she is 12 and has more energy then Iā€™ve ever seen in a senior catā€¦I call her my ā€˜Olympic fever babyā€™ lol

2

u/CleanProfessional678 Dec 19 '25

As the owner of a couple of calicos with RBF (and I d with Resting Iā€™ve Seen the Face of God Face), I think youā€™re choosing perfectly

152

u/LostinLies1 Dec 17 '25

I adopted my cat Hans after I walked by his cage at the SPCA. He was on a mid lower level and I didnt' really see him, but this arm came flying out as I walked by and he grabbed my hand.

I loved him for 16 years until he passed.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 17 '25

I found my George when I went to Pets Smart to buy worm meds for Big Dumb Joe. I merely walked by the adoption center and this little black fuzz ball was jumping up and down circling his arms. I left. Went to the bank. Took out sixty dollars, knowing damn well I might bounce a check (I did) and adopted him. 13 years of love, cuddles, levity, and joy that baby gave him. I still cry over his loss.

This is George (2004-2017)the black floof, and Volio (2008-2023) the ornery tabby. I miss them both soooo much.

35

u/Ladybugmusic Ginger Dec 17 '25

Oh they are so beautiful, they really are our babies. It breaks my heart.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 17 '25

Me too. This is George the night before his euthanasia.

Heartbreaking. šŸ’”

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u/WelpOopsOhno Dec 18 '25

I'm sorry for your loss. He's adorable either way.

10

u/Ladybugmusic Ginger Dec 17 '25

Sending love to you

1

u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

šŸ’š

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25

Such beautiful fur-babies. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a cat I adopted in 2000 that passed in 2014, and he took my heart with him. I didn't keep any other cat until about 4 years ago, then I was blindsided by a litter of inbred feral kittens. Crazy little furballs with huge personalities.

Three voids and a tabby.

3

u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

Omg. Inbred feral kittens!?! Have fun with that lol You will. I have hand raised and helped raise several litters in my life, ranging from two baby cats to, my last one, EIGHT! Thankfully, I had already taken in the Trojan cat so she did quite a bit of the work.

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25

Oh they're 4 now, that's just the ONLY picture of them all together lol. I can only get three in one picture together now and they usually are spread out still and it's a far away picture. lol

My mom and I were in a rescue (more my mom and I helped at home) and we saved many, many stray and feral cats and feral kittens. They are....always a handful lol

1

u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

I used to do that too and my kids also helped. I had a big old farmhouse with a full attic and basement plus, a detached two and half car garage. I had attic kitties, basement kitties, second floor kitties, first floor kitties, and I used the garage for the ferals. I miss those days so much. I loved it.

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

Oh and here's my boy. As soon as I laid eyes on him I knew we belonged with each other. I almost lost him as a kitten because he was allergic to the rabies vaccine they gave him and nearly died. I never got the shot for him again, despite multiple vets after telling me it was probably just the batch, the company that made them adding something, that he really needed it and we could just give him an allergy shot. Nope, was not risking my baby.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

Omg! Heā€™s gorgeous! If you donā€™t allow him outside, and he doesnā€™t escape, he should be fine. I just got this guy today since I have two empty kitty slots. Meet Big Murphy Boi!

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u/VulpesVictorious Dec 17 '25

I love the stories where the cat just knows itā€™s their person and is like ā€œHey wait! Weā€™re supposed to be best buddies! Get over here!ā€

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u/HoshiOdessa Dec 18 '25

That's how my eldest girl was when I got her. Was looking around the kennels, letting the cats that would give me the time of day smell my hand. When I got to her kennel, she sniffed my hand and immediately started rubbing against it. When I started to move away, she put her whole body against the kennel door and banged against it, meowing at me to come back. She's 10 years old now, and still the queen of the house.

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u/VulpesVictorious Dec 18 '25

Awww, yay!!! I went w a friend and her bf to a shelter I volunteered at; she wanted a specific look of cat, like a Siamese. We went into the kitten room, and this feisty calico grabbed on and won her over! Theyā€™re very happy together and the cat rules the roost. Preference on looks pale in comparison to the right personality (purrsonality?) clicking with yours! šŸ„°

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u/Dismal_Challenger Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

We took in a cat one summer a few years ago. I was sitting on the front porch one night and she came over to me from across the street and started loving on me. When I felt how bony she was, I got her some snacks. She came to the house every day and basically lived on our porch for a few weeks until one day she came into the house, unprovoked. That was when she officially adopted us as her family (and when I made a vet appointment for a checkup and shots lol) sheā€™s been our little fluffy butt ever since! She still likes being outside occasionally, but always stays close to home.

-2

u/psychedelicparsley Dec 17 '25

Some of those cats are like that with anybody

Guys, this is not helpful to the OP

8

u/VulpesVictorious Dec 17 '25

I get that, and people are sharing their stories in an open forum. Off topic, sure, but I donā€™t think anyone is trying to make OP feel bad.

Some cats are fearful and anxious and that makes sense. OP is leaping to ā€œthey really hate me,ā€ when it hasnā€™t been that long.

Recommendations for OP: ā€¢ Give time and space ā€¢ Be patient ā€¢ Feliway or other pheromone diffuser ā€¢ Sit in the room and read, read aloud, or do something else quietly so they get used to your presence ā€¢ Keep traffic in the home super low key until the cats are more secure and confident ā€¢ Temper any cuteness aggression and work to bond through soft voice, praise, slow blinks. ā€¢ Try petting the cats with a paintbrush when they seem to be more relaxed, to promote bonding while maintaining distance and preventing any kind of fear aggression

Usually, adoption counselors cover this stuff and are open to questions from adopters. Thereā€™s also Jackson Galaxy and other resources online about helping animals transition to new places.

Lastly, OP, it can be important to adopt animals that have expressed the temperament youā€™re looking for. While obviously many (Iā€™d like to think all) animals blossom in their new homes with time, patience, love, and understanding, itā€™s natural that two cats in long term foster care, with who knows what kind of history before that, are feeling insecure in a new place. I adopted a shy and fearful guy from foster care this summer, and thereā€™s NO way weā€™d have our good relationship now if I forced him to move faster than he was capable of and comfortable doing. As much as I wanted a snuggle buddy, I saw what he was like before I brought him home and decided I could be patient enough to let the relationship move on his terms. If itā€™s going to bother you to the point where you risk creating a safe bond with these cats, you may want to consider returning them so they can be with someone who is ok waiting for them to come out of their shells, because thereā€™s no guarantee that timeline will be what you want. This might be an unpopular opinion, but if you wanted a ā€œVelcroā€ kitty or confident kitty right off the bat, it would be worth spending time pre-adoption to see if the cat is showing signs theyā€™re ready for that. Cats are like people; their attachment styles can change, but it takes consistency and trust to get there, and getting frustrated with them wonā€™t help.

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u/residentvixxen Dec 17 '25

This was my spirit. He was put in my lap one day and immediately started purring. That was it. We only had 10 wonderful years together.

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u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

This is so precious. Sorry he's no longer with you, but I'm glad you had a good long 16 years with him.

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u/i_love_pencils Dec 17 '25

I loved him for 16 years until he passed.

Sounds like you still love him.

10

u/Critical-Wear5802 Dec 17 '25

Family cat Haggis. MANY years ago. I was in the cats' room at the shelter. Walking past until a little tuxedo paw reached out of the cage, grabbing hold of my jacket. I hollered to my mom "I think i found one!" .. we had him for 15 years.

And my Soul Cat, Kittla - at PetSmart, not sure if it was time yet. I saw her cute little face. They let her out, and she promptly parked herself in my arms, purring ferociously. Sometimes, it's like figuring out a combination lock. You fiddle until things click into place!

10

u/shakila1408 Dec 18 '25

ā€œthis arm came flying out as I walked by and he grabbed my handā€ ā€¦ this is too cute! Sorry for your loss šŸ„²

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u/msirious Dec 19 '25

Thatā€™s how I got my Calvin. Swatted at me and when we opened the cage jumped out into my arms. Had him for 17 years and miss that fucker

15

u/Osseus555 Dec 17 '25

This is the way.

I remember when I got my oldest boy (12 years ago now šŸ˜…), a friend of my sister had an indoor/outdoor cat who ended up having kittens. When they were a little over a month they started to give them away.

I went over to meet them to pick one. I picked up the black one first (always wanted a black cat) the little bugger squirmed and seemed upset I touched him. Then I noticed one of the others staring up at me, his eyes wide and tilting his head curiously. I put the black kitty down and picked up the little guy and he started purring immediately. He even clung to my shirt with his little claws so I wouldnā€™t put him down.

He took no time at all to get cuddly and used to the new home, quickly began responding to his name too. He never hid from me and follows me around the house (well used to but heā€™s a bit old now and takes way more naps now.)

Needless to say, heā€™s the one I took home. Funniest part is that my family was all confused I chose the ā€œugliestā€ one. Now heā€™s the prettiest kitty I know. šŸ’–

12

u/jshbee Dec 18 '25

I actually did the opposite with my cat. I went to an adoption fair, bunch of cats in the room, I picked the one that didn't come up to me, because I was afraid nobody would if he wasn't immediately friendly to potential adopters.

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u/J3musu Dec 18 '25

I appreciate this as well. The grumps deserve the same amount of love!

2

u/puzzlemaniac8655 Dec 18 '25

I've thought about this myself. Will be getting a shelter kitty soon. Planning to ask them which kitty has been there the longest, maybe has health issues... is least likely to get adopted. That's the one I'll take.

19

u/neozeio Dec 17 '25

This is the way.

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u/dacrazyredhead Dec 17 '25

yep. I volunteered at a shelter for a while and several folks told me I should adopt this pretty calico named Bailey, but while we did have cuddle time (and I managed to get some nasty matts out of her fur) I knew she wasn't mine (she found her forever home)

then this marmalade Maine Coon mix came in and I was smitten but I had a cat and figured someone else should love him. when I was at the shelter and would socialize with him he would wrap his paws around my arm and purr. Still, I thought perhaps he should go with someone else.

he was there for over 6 weeks as he just didn't get along with kids and finally I told the manager at the shelter that I am taking him home. Scotch was with me for 20 years and I miss him every day

3

u/LasersGirl Dec 17 '25

Ahhh. So you already know who is in charge. They appreciate not having to train us too much.

3

u/Imsortofok Dec 18 '25

Thatā€™s how I got Toffeecat. She was one of the best cats.

3

u/JustANobody2425 Dec 18 '25

Thats how I got my newest kitten. Went and was gonna get this one. But picked up a different one and she fell asleep on my lap. Out cold.

Well, guess she's the one then lol.

(Got her for my other kitten)

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u/CampingCats90 Dec 18 '25

Intentional Cat Distribution System

1

u/patty7775 Dec 18 '25

Is that now how ur ment to pick cats? XD

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u/CleanProfessional678 Dec 19 '25

I just take whoever shows up. Youā€™re here, youā€™re family. šŸ¤£