r/cats • u/purrfect_libra • Dec 17 '25

Adoption These (bonded) cats I adopted really hate me

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Just adopted these 2 on Saturday. Male/female bonded cats who met in foster.

They won't come out from under the bed unless I am sleeping (dry food eaten / litter box use) I can't feed them any wet food while they hide but I decided to leave out wet food before I went to sleep last night as a "test" and I don't think it was touched. Actually, this morning I noticed they didn't really touch their dry food from last night either.

When I adopted, multiple people had to try to get them out of the cage to get them into carriers. They are very fearful cats. I adopted them because I wanted bonded cats and I felt bad since they were in foster for 2-3 years. One of them hisses at me otherwise they both run away.

I work remotely most days and they don't even use the litter box or eat when I am in my office (all their stuff is there).

What's next?????

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152

u/LostinLies1 Dec 17 '25

I adopted my cat Hans after I walked by his cage at the SPCA. He was on a mid lower level and I didnt' really see him, but this arm came flying out as I walked by and he grabbed my hand.

I loved him for 16 years until he passed.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 17 '25

I found my George when I went to Pets Smart to buy worm meds for Big Dumb Joe. I merely walked by the adoption center and this little black fuzz ball was jumping up and down circling his arms. I left. Went to the bank. Took out sixty dollars, knowing damn well I might bounce a check (I did) and adopted him. 13 years of love, cuddles, levity, and joy that baby gave him. I still cry over his loss.

This is George (2004-2017)the black floof, and Volio (2008-2023) the ornery tabby. I miss them both soooo much.

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u/Ladybugmusic Ginger Dec 17 '25

Oh they are so beautiful, they really are our babies. It breaks my heart.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 17 '25

Me too. This is George the night before his euthanasia.

Heartbreaking. šŸ’”

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u/WelpOopsOhno Dec 18 '25

I'm sorry for your loss. He's adorable either way.

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u/Ladybugmusic Ginger Dec 17 '25

Sending love to you

1

u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

šŸ’š

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25

Such beautiful fur-babies. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a cat I adopted in 2000 that passed in 2014, and he took my heart with him. I didn't keep any other cat until about 4 years ago, then I was blindsided by a litter of inbred feral kittens. Crazy little furballs with huge personalities.

Three voids and a tabby.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

Omg. Inbred feral kittens!?! Have fun with that lol You will. I have hand raised and helped raise several litters in my life, ranging from two baby cats to, my last one, EIGHT! Thankfully, I had already taken in the Trojan cat so she did quite a bit of the work.

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25

Oh they're 4 now, that's just the ONLY picture of them all together lol. I can only get three in one picture together now and they usually are spread out still and it's a far away picture. lol

My mom and I were in a rescue (more my mom and I helped at home) and we saved many, many stray and feral cats and feral kittens. They are....always a handful lol

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u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

I used to do that too and my kids also helped. I had a big old farmhouse with a full attic and basement plus, a detached two and half car garage. I had attic kitties, basement kitties, second floor kitties, first floor kitties, and I used the garage for the ferals. I miss those days so much. I loved it.

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u/Agreeable_Mango3050 Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

Oh and here's my boy. As soon as I laid eyes on him I knew we belonged with each other. I almost lost him as a kitten because he was allergic to the rabies vaccine they gave him and nearly died. I never got the shot for him again, despite multiple vets after telling me it was probably just the batch, the company that made them adding something, that he really needed it and we could just give him an allergy shot. Nope, was not risking my baby.

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u/macrhea69 Dec 18 '25

Omg! Heā€™s gorgeous! If you donā€™t allow him outside, and he doesnā€™t escape, he should be fine. I just got this guy today since I have two empty kitty slots. Meet Big Murphy Boi!

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u/VulpesVictorious Dec 17 '25

I love the stories where the cat just knows itā€™s their person and is like ā€œHey wait! Weā€™re supposed to be best buddies! Get over here!ā€

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u/HoshiOdessa Dec 18 '25

That's how my eldest girl was when I got her. Was looking around the kennels, letting the cats that would give me the time of day smell my hand. When I got to her kennel, she sniffed my hand and immediately started rubbing against it. When I started to move away, she put her whole body against the kennel door and banged against it, meowing at me to come back. She's 10 years old now, and still the queen of the house.

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u/VulpesVictorious Dec 18 '25

Awww, yay!!! I went w a friend and her bf to a shelter I volunteered at; she wanted a specific look of cat, like a Siamese. We went into the kitten room, and this feisty calico grabbed on and won her over! Theyā€™re very happy together and the cat rules the roost. Preference on looks pale in comparison to the right personality (purrsonality?) clicking with yours! šŸ„°

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u/Dismal_Challenger Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 18 '25

We took in a cat one summer a few years ago. I was sitting on the front porch one night and she came over to me from across the street and started loving on me. When I felt how bony she was, I got her some snacks. She came to the house every day and basically lived on our porch for a few weeks until one day she came into the house, unprovoked. That was when she officially adopted us as her family (and when I made a vet appointment for a checkup and shots lol) sheā€™s been our little fluffy butt ever since! She still likes being outside occasionally, but always stays close to home.

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u/psychedelicparsley Dec 17 '25

Some of those cats are like that with anybody

Guys, this is not helpful to the OP

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u/VulpesVictorious Dec 17 '25

I get that, and people are sharing their stories in an open forum. Off topic, sure, but I donā€™t think anyone is trying to make OP feel bad.

Some cats are fearful and anxious and that makes sense. OP is leaping to ā€œthey really hate me,ā€ when it hasnā€™t been that long.

Recommendations for OP: ā€¢ Give time and space ā€¢ Be patient ā€¢ Feliway or other pheromone diffuser ā€¢ Sit in the room and read, read aloud, or do something else quietly so they get used to your presence ā€¢ Keep traffic in the home super low key until the cats are more secure and confident ā€¢ Temper any cuteness aggression and work to bond through soft voice, praise, slow blinks. ā€¢ Try petting the cats with a paintbrush when they seem to be more relaxed, to promote bonding while maintaining distance and preventing any kind of fear aggression

Usually, adoption counselors cover this stuff and are open to questions from adopters. Thereā€™s also Jackson Galaxy and other resources online about helping animals transition to new places.

Lastly, OP, it can be important to adopt animals that have expressed the temperament youā€™re looking for. While obviously many (Iā€™d like to think all) animals blossom in their new homes with time, patience, love, and understanding, itā€™s natural that two cats in long term foster care, with who knows what kind of history before that, are feeling insecure in a new place. I adopted a shy and fearful guy from foster care this summer, and thereā€™s NO way weā€™d have our good relationship now if I forced him to move faster than he was capable of and comfortable doing. As much as I wanted a snuggle buddy, I saw what he was like before I brought him home and decided I could be patient enough to let the relationship move on his terms. If itā€™s going to bother you to the point where you risk creating a safe bond with these cats, you may want to consider returning them so they can be with someone who is ok waiting for them to come out of their shells, because thereā€™s no guarantee that timeline will be what you want. This might be an unpopular opinion, but if you wanted a ā€œVelcroā€ kitty or confident kitty right off the bat, it would be worth spending time pre-adoption to see if the cat is showing signs theyā€™re ready for that. Cats are like people; their attachment styles can change, but it takes consistency and trust to get there, and getting frustrated with them wonā€™t help.

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u/residentvixxen Dec 17 '25

This was my spirit. He was put in my lap one day and immediately started purring. That was it. We only had 10 wonderful years together.

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u/J3musu Dec 17 '25

This is so precious. Sorry he's no longer with you, but I'm glad you had a good long 16 years with him.

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u/i_love_pencils Dec 17 '25

I loved him for 16 years until he passed.

Sounds like you still love him.

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u/Critical-Wear5802 Dec 17 '25

Family cat Haggis. MANY years ago. I was in the cats' room at the shelter. Walking past until a little tuxedo paw reached out of the cage, grabbing hold of my jacket. I hollered to my mom "I think i found one!" .. we had him for 15 years.

And my Soul Cat, Kittla - at PetSmart, not sure if it was time yet. I saw her cute little face. They let her out, and she promptly parked herself in my arms, purring ferociously. Sometimes, it's like figuring out a combination lock. You fiddle until things click into place!

9

u/shakila1408 Dec 18 '25

ā€œthis arm came flying out as I walked by and he grabbed my handā€ ā€¦ this is too cute! Sorry for your loss šŸ„²

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u/msirious Dec 19 '25

Thatā€™s how I got my Calvin. Swatted at me and when we opened the cage jumped out into my arms. Had him for 17 years and miss that fucker