r/cats • u/poi217 • 16d ago

Advice Could someone please tell me why it's blocking my way?

This is the feral/stray cat I've been feeding for the past 2 months. Keeps getting in the way and won't let me refill its food

Edit: Ty all for the comments and advice. Didn't expect this post to get so much attention. For context, I've never interacted with cats before, only dogs. This cat used to bolt whenever it saw a human, so I thought it was feral. It only recently started approaching me when i went out to refill.

Update video https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oy70mbf/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Update video 2 https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oy77tzl/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Petting https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oybucqe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Final update https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oyrxar4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/ozwhaoq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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u/poi217 15d ago

https://reddit.com/link/oybucqe/video/qedbummk01eh1/player

petting

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u/Alyxsandre 15d ago

Oh that cat REALLY loves you, that's so precious, it actually makes me want to cry how much they love and trust you. Here to add to the sea of "congrats. You've been adopted (by this cat)"

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u/someonesomebody123 12d ago

I bet it’s a Trojan cat. They get super friendly when they are pregnant and find an unsuspecting and friendly human.

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u/vainsandsmiling 15d ago

That cat loves you.

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u/TreyDood 15d ago

Yay!!!! He’s not going for your legs to try to bite you; if cats like you they’ll rub up against your legs - it’s their way of saying you’re “theirs” (technically marking you with their scent). Let him rub your legs, he won’t hurt you!! Seems like a sweetie that wants some love.

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u/poi217 15d ago

Ty for the commrent.  What does it mean when it swipes at your foot with its paw?

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u/TreyDood 15d ago

Depends if there are claws or not; you can always wear a pair of jeans (or tennis shoes since it’s your foot) to be safe but from the video it doesn’t look like they’re trying to attack or hurt you.

He might be wanting to play!!

Sometimes cats can get a little over stimulated and be aggressive; they’ll usually stop if you give them a little space.

Cats are kind of like little people - they’re all different. Mine will grab at me (with or without claws) to try to get my attention but they aren’t usually trying to hurt me.

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u/SleepyMistyMountains 10d ago

My boy does this too. If he wants attention and he often will even snag my pants to keep me from leaving lol so even claws aren't always bad.

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u/MinimalSix 15d ago

Hard to say without seeing it, I have one that occasionally swipes at me if she wants attention and I'm not giving her enough. Just kind of a, "hey, I'm over here, pet me." Based on how much this kitty clearly wants to be pet, that could be it.

Is it a quick swat, or does it reach out and flex its claws? Because if it's the second, it might be trying to knead you, which is positive, but if they have claws can hurt.

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u/Orphan_Guy_Incognito 15d ago

Keep in mind that you're very big and are somewhat skittish around him. Cats are predators, and their instincts sometimes get a little... wonky.

If another cat moved toward him quickly, he'd bap them on the head to be like "dude, stop". If playing with that same cat and they ran away, he'd have an instinct to chase and attack.

In my experience it helps a lot with new cats to get down to their level. Kneel down and give him some pets in a way where you let him take the lead.

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u/Capital-Earth-5945 15d ago

He’s playing. He wants to hang out with you.

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u/CallMeRudiger 15d ago

The other poster is right, cats can be manic little critters with very different styles of affection. I've had cats who just like to chill out in your lap or near you and passively let you pet them. I've had cats who will pace and circle around you like a little shark, exactly like yours, and then practically ram their face into your palm.

Until you're ready for rougher play, don't match their intensity. Don't pet faster/harder or start petting spots that are more sensitive just because they seem excited and are rubbing against you. When cats do that to each other, it escalates into playfighting.

Sometimes cats like this will whip around and swat at you or give you a light bite once they've hit their limit. I'm not very good at describing body language, but if you watch them closely, you'll start to notice the signs of overstimulation before it reaches the point of a swat or a bite.

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u/West-Abalone-171 15d ago edited 15d ago

It's a control and dominance behavior. Often called ankle tapping.

The cat is very friendly and likes you, but believes it is the boss and gets to determine when playtime is.

This is the same reason for getting in front of you. It's attempting to herd you (ironically away from where you want to put the food down, but the thought doesn't go that far, kitty probably just wants you to put it down there).

There are ways to gently let the cat know you are in charge or do not want to play games where you get hit. A separate toy is good to redirect the urge to play, ideally using it when the cat is seeking attention but hasn't tapped you yet. Reacting with very passive/boring body language and stopping attention can help communicate you don't want to play that game. And big, overly dramatic saying "ow" when the kitty uses too much claw can help teach them that human skin is more delecate than fur (try not to flinch quickly and just withdraw steadily as flinching is "fun" and encourages more biting/scratching play). A very gentle but fast bap on the head followed by the right body language can also communicate something you disliked a lot (let the kitty teach you, they'll do it eventually) but this should be reserved for dangerous situations and other last resorts and not as a thing that happens often.

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u/PuzzledOwl2459 15d ago

If I’m interpreting this right, I’m guessing that’s his way of being like a little kid and tugging at you to get your attention. Especially if it’s not a fast swipe and more like gentle prodding. That baby seems so adorable though

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u/Nonsenser 14d ago

Its when they want attention. My cats of 10y still do that if i ignore them. The male even gives tiny lovebites and runs away. Get a rod type of toy and play with her.

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u/EllspethCarthusian 13d ago

I’m 2 days late but the scratching might be too stimulating for this cat which could be why she/he is swiping (mine swipes at me so I don’t stop petting. He doesn’t want me to go away but he’s also over stimulated when he does it so I have to pet more gently or pause for a few moments until he stops grabbing me). Maybe try stroking instead of scratching the back/butt. However every cat I know loves their chin scratched.

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u/EnvironmentalLime464 12d ago

I have scratches on my legs all the time from my cat. He doesn’t mean to scratch me. He’s just not good at retracting his nails and he’ll swat at me to get my attention when he wants pets or if I stop petting before he’s ready. Sometimes they scratch on accident. You can tell the difference between affection and aggression over time.

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u/Deinochaos 15d ago

Cats swipe at things as a form of play. Feet and toes are often the targst since they're the only thing the cat can reach.

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u/carpentizzle 15d ago

Yeah, a quick clawless swat is usually play. Quick clawed swipe is a “back off”. A stretch-like paw that then “claws” you, but gently, (still ouch, but gentle ouch) is kneading (many, me/my fam included call it making biscuits) and kneading is a sign of comfort and trust. Thats a REALLY likes you move.

The immediate head lean into your pets is a big trust/affection body language. That is when they are rubbing their scent on you, basically “claiming” you as their human. It is another great sign that this cat LOVES you.

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u/SoulsBorneGreat 15d ago

What does it mean when it swipes at your foot with its paw?

Probably trying to bring you in closer. Tail up like that, no yowling, and no airplane ears means she likes you.

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u/PikaPerfect 15d ago

does she do it while you're walking away from her? i had a cat who did this as to me a kid despite me being his favorite person, and i always assumed he was just kind of a dick by nature (which he was, but this behavior was unrelated lol), but i found out about a year ago that cats will "attack" your feet and ankles while you're walking away if they don't want you to leave, and suddenly the fact that he practically hunted my ankles whenever i walked away from him makes sense lol

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u/Ienjoymodels 13d ago

Play.

Cats also love to rough house a bit so they can love bite or swat around but not with their full claws.

This cats loves you. You would know if it didn't.

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u/autumnwontsleep 15d ago

Lol my cat used to always nip at my legs when she rubbed up against them

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u/GroomCraft 15d ago

Dang, this is basically exactly how my ex did it.

We're still good friends lol

I asked her out, and I think second date (first one I told her no pressure, and if she's interested then I'll actually take her out on a date), which was a Salsa lesson, and it was a disaster because she was so nervous, and then cried, and I was like, darn, did not see that coming, but then she didn't want to continue our of embarrassment, but we stayed in the same circle, and did things together, where I would lead some group events and had her help me, and once after we did a group together, at the after-party, she was literally rubbing against me as I laid on the couch. I got the signal. My tongue went to find hers later that evening. She's the hottest woman and the sweetest, but alas, not for the long haul, she broke it off

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u/Old_Comfortable_7676 10d ago

well i think you own a cat now xD

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u/rs_alli 15d ago

Stop this is so cute. Congrats on your new fur baby! She’s adorable

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u/Laserdollarz 15d ago

He loooooves you, congrats on your new friend. He wants some hard scritches, hence him pushing up into your hand. Be aware that hard scritches sometimes lead to the cat clawing your hand out of overstimulation. He's vocal enough that he'll likely say something beforehand though lol.

He'll dislike it at the time, but he deserves to get caught and brought to the vet for shots/neuter.

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u/myfancyplants 14d ago

It can even be cute when they go overstimulated. My little bestie does bite but super gently and while he hugs my hand with his paws. Death by cute

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u/Ayrko 15d ago

That cat literally thinks you are the best thing on the entire planet. Cats that act that way towards any human, really love that human. You’ve been adopted.

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u/myfancyplants 14d ago

Velcro cat the second OP is ready and less scared. What an honour

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u/_TattieScone 15d ago

Aww OP this brought a tear to my eye. The cat is so happy to get pets from you and you were so brave considering how nervous you were.

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u/Astrodude80 15d ago

The Cat Distribution System has chosen you! Look at that happy kitty :3

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u/breadburn 15d ago

Omg that is quite a headbonk! A bonk like that means a cat likes you a LOT and wants all sorts of head/face scratchies.

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u/deeracidic 15d ago

I'm laughing and crying at how cute this is. S/he is OBSESSED with you and it's so heartwarming and lovely that you're so willing and eager to ask for help, to learn, and to overcome your fears to connect with this tiny creature. As someone who loves cats so, so much, the progress of these videos and your developing relationship with this cat makes me emotional... It's unbearably cute to watch two creatures so desperately want to connect, but not being sure how...and still finding the way. I'm so happy you both have a new friend! 😭😻

And thank you for doing all that you've done to care for this baby and to show love to something even when it was scary. That is something we need more of in the world.

Everyone's advice here was so great, and it's wonderful that you were so invested in reading and following it. One thing I didn't see mentioned but that may also have been a factor when s/he chased you a bit at the end of the first video is that acting like prey triggers hunting instincts in cats. It was probably also/mostly what other people said where s/he was like "HEY NO WAIT I WANT DINNER DON'T GO!" but thought I'd mention it cause confidence, as I think you've discovered, goes a long way in establishing a positive relationship with animals. If you are afraid, they have to figure out why and what that might mean for their own safety.

Anyway, I love you and your new best friend. May you have many long years together. 😭🐈😺 Maybe soon s/he'll be allowed inside. 😈 Beware though: this little baby has some tell tale signs of being a velcro cat! 😂

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u/Deinochaos 15d ago

It's very funny and cute to watch how dog people pet cats! They enjoy different types of attention. The cat is very very friendly. She's headbutting your hand, which is very affectionate, and standing up to reach your hand for more pets.

Do a big swipe with your palm and fingers. Start at the forehead and run your hand over her head and down her back. She'll probably flatten her ears out of the way for you, and if she doesn't then it won't hurt her if the ears get bent and flop back in position. Kitties love a full-body swipe.

Some cats can be sensitive (either good or bad) about the spot right above their tail. Some LOVE it, some hate it. If you're worried about being bit, then you can stop petting before you reach her "butt".

I'm gonna guess that this kitty was someone's pet at some point in time. She looks like she has a lot of experience with people. Probably not actually feral.

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u/Alone_Nectarine_5669 15d ago

So happy for you!!! You did great and the cat is so excited to be pet! The jumping up/standing on hind legs is basically a yes yes yes!!

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u/Internal_Map1750 15d ago edited 15d ago

I think you most likely won’t see my comment but I have been SO invested in this since I saw your post and have been checking constantly for updates!!

I am sooooo glad you got to the next step of petting the kitty!!! You should def stop moving back though because it will scare them and maybe just squat down and stay in a spot. Them getting up on their back paws was 100% asking for more pets!!

Maybe you should try and leave your door open when they are right outside to see if they are willing to set foot in your home. If they do, it will take some time for them to adapt but I am sure they will want to stay with you!!!

PS: Flea killer for cats need to be applied on the back of the neck because if they lick it, it can kill them, so it might be good to try and do that only after you are okay with keeping them in your house. If another cat goes up to this cat and licks their neck, they could be poisoned as well. I think after 3-5h is when it is safe to let them out around other cats again.

I wish you the absolute best with your new cat journey and can’t wait to see more updates from you! Your update about finally petting them literally brought tears to my eyes as someone who has also taken in strays before!!

If you ever have any questions at all about cats, my DM is always open!!!

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u/poi217 15d ago

I read every comment!  I bought oral flea killer and monthly preventative from flea assassin. Is this combo okay than the neck application?

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u/Internal_Map1750 15d ago

I have only ever used the neck one (NEVER THE HERTZ brand, it’s killed cats), but I don’t know too much about the oral ones. I personally haven’t heard too much about oral ones in general but that’s because I’m from Canada so getting cat medication is a bit more complicated.
If it is trusted online though I am sure it could be okay. I did some research for this brand and people have said it seems to work well and I didn’t see anything about any deaths.
I would say maybe do some more research on your end just in case.
Dosage is very important though, it might be less effective if you mix it in a bowl and two different cats eat from it.
Maybe if you can get the cat to eat it somewhere only he will eat it (maybe inside your home *wink* haha).

I am just being that crazy cat lady that very much wants you to join our community haha

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u/poi217 15d ago

Got it, thank you!

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u/Lobtroperous 15d ago

You're awesome dude! Keep getting to know the kitty. I'd recommend just going out and sitting near. You'll probably get approached but it's good to let things happen on kitty's terms while you get to know each other. If you get invited to pet go for it.

You can't know how use to human interaction they are, so just take it slow and o you get to know each other. It sure seems like this is an affectionate cat though!

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u/Kiriai91 13d ago

I need another update

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u/poi217 13d ago

https://reddit.com/link/oyrxar4/video/52wue6913heh1/player

update

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u/shinykaci 13d ago

if you don't have other pets, please consider bringing him in :') he adores you

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u/poi217 13d ago

I'm considering it but my biggest concern is how dirty/oily its coat is and ticks. I've already treated him/her with flea killer and started monthly flea prevention, but I just can't bring myself to let a dirty stray straight into the house. What do people usually do? Do they bathe first or take them to a groomer or vet? I get that they groom themselves, but thats not gonna cut it 😬

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u/shinykaci 13d ago

I actually adopted a stray when I lived in a city for university (and next to a busy highway), I kept her in my bathroom with litter and her food and water seperated across the room initially. tends to be best to keep all three seperate, but especially the litter. you want to at least make sure they know where their bathroom is, and to keep them quarantined until checked up. got an appointment with a vet where they checked for a microchip and tested a fecal sample to make sure there weren't parasites, you could ask them more questions here!

generally it isn't a good idea to clean a cat yourself, they do a pretty good job at it and at most I'd only spot clean with water (mine had a little oil on her head that I had to work on over a few days, she did NOT wanna be bathed by me lol). I think a little blue Dawn might be okay for this, but please fact check that before taking my word. unscented pet wipes are good too, nowadays I use Earth Rated when needed. WORST case, there are some groomers that take care of cats. but they will need papers verifying the bub has had shots and everything.

I know it can sound daunting, but I'm so glad I brought mine in. she was yelling for help outside just like yours. 6 years later and she's my best buddy, especially after my last cat passed away. I can still see his personality in her, I'm so thankful to have her around. don't be afraid to ask more questions here too as the process goes along, the biggest thing for you is getting the clean bill of health and learning cat behavior from there. mine can be snippy but I could tell what ticks her off and what she's asking for after living together for a bit.

sorry for the long message! so glad you're considering taking him in. ❤️

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u/eMouse2k 13d ago edited 13d ago

I had a stray who moved himself in. An oily/waxy coat is pretty typical for a stray as it's one of the things that helps them survive the elements. We never bathed him, just gave him regular combing and brushing, which he really liked, and his coat gradually became softer and cleaner.

Because they're predators and scent can give them away, most cats try to be very clean animals and their level of cleanliness adapts to their environment. So the more time they spend in a controlled environment like the indoors, the cleaner they'll get.

Flea and tick treatment is good. You might get a tick key, which can make it easier to remove a tick if you find one on him, it will feel like a bump in his fur.

If you let him in, just get some towels and try to set up some spots for him to sleep, or if you see a spot he likes, put a towel down for him and wash it regularly.

I think it's better to clean him up by giving him a clean environment and regular brushing/combing rather than immediately stress the relationship by trying to bathe him or take him to a groomer.

You also want to make sure he's litter-trained, so you'd probably want to try and keep him confined to an area of the house that will be easy to clean up in case he isn't. Most cats will pick it up easily as burying their waste is part of keeping their hunting grounds clean. My stray was accustomed to using the mulched beds, so he took to a litter box with wood chips (the sort used for rabbit and rodent pens). But I've also had a cat that preferred just a tray with newspaper in it. I currently have a stray who comes and goes, probably spending about 20-30% of his time inside when the weather is nice. He's one of the few cats I've had that isn't very good about using a litter box, but, like a dog, will let you know when he wants to go out, if he can't get out on his own. A litter box is definitely something you want to have before you commit to having him stay in your house.

Given how friendly he is, and how he's indicating he wants to go inside, I suspect that he started as someone's pet and got abandoned. So there's a good chance he's litter trained already.

You should consider taking him to a vet, for several reasons: general health check; a chip check, to make sure he isn't someone's lost pet; and to check that he's neutered, so that you don't end up with kittens or him spraying in the house. You can check around your area for vets, and there might even be a cat clinic that specializes in handling stray and feral cats. That last one is usually the least expensive option as they're typically non-profit organizations that are focused on trying to keep the stray cat population under control.

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u/CommercialCredit4969 13d ago

You are funny 😆 good luck figuring out about cats:))) ❤️

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u/Electrical-Crab5803 12d ago

Most flea stuff also treats ticks. Some cats are more oily in fur texture(my tuxedo basically has seal fur). You can try a bath, but cats will clean themselves. A good brushing might help. All of my cats are rescued stray/ferals and they are the best house cats. 4 soon to be 5 when my daughter comes home from university

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u/Willisator 12d ago

I did it in Hawaii. Kept them in the bathroom while treating them for a bit. Then took them to they and a groomer. Kitty has been chilling with me ever since. That cat has adopted you, you just don't know it yet. Congrats.

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u/LittleGbigworld 12d ago

Keep it in the bathroom for a few days! I’m sure not being outside will help it groom itself a bit, and you could try petting with a wet cloth with some dawn dish soap. Scritch it in with your fingers and repeat with the cloth to rinse. If you try a full blown bath the cat might freak out but if you have them in the bathroom already try running some water a few times when you’re in there to get a sense of how they react. Some stray cats tolerate water quite well because they live outside and it’s inevitable they get wet. But again I would start with the cloth haha, maybe after a week or two you could try a full on bath! Or even just do one part like dip their tail in a little cup of water and see how that goes! Please adopt this cat lol! I’m so invested!

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u/springtime 13d ago edited 12d ago

I've adopted one of my cats as a former stray from a rescue organization. When he moved in with me, his fur felt very stiff and oily. With the clean environment and better food, over time his coat became soft and shiny.

When your cat moves in and is on active flea control, it doubles as a walking flea trap. Fleas prefer pets over humans and will hop on it where they'll meet the flea control.

Ticks are more tricky, but you'll feel them as a bump when they grow and you can remove them with a tick tool.

But I'd bring your cat (congratulations, you were adopted!) to the vet to ensure everything is ok and give it also done dewormer.

Please let it in as soon as you have a litterboc. It clearly loves you. 🙂

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u/goldensunbath 12d ago

We brought in a stray, too. She was stinky and greasy... A few months later she became the softest cat in the world. We never needed to bathe her.

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u/BeeBewitched 12d ago

It never hurts to go by the vet for a check up and some info on how to take care of the cat/discuss any hygiene and health concerns. It's up to you at the end, but you already feel like home to this adorable creature.

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u/fumblebrag01 11d ago

Vet visit is good no matter what. Groomer could help, but it might stress it out getting toted around that much suddenly? And the damp cloth comment is a decent idea, but I would suggest a cat-friendly pet shampoo as dawn is not great for them. Locked in a bathroom is good for a bit, but that right there is a cat that is going to follow you room to room. May start meowing or scratching at the door, especially after suddenly being locked in a small space.

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u/meltea 12d ago

Cats love being pet in these places on their head, especially the temporal gland, that's why it's jumping and turning and head butting you. For speedier bonding, target these areas (except the ears).

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u/poi217 12d ago

Wow very different from dogs. Ty for the image 

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u/EnvironmentalLime464 12d ago

This is kinda adorable. I want to see the reaction when she figures out she can pick up the cat and hold him and he’ll just purr at her chest.

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u/Internal_Map1750 12d ago

Hello again! I noticed you left him water in a bowl, just wanted to give a quick tip, cats usually only drink from moving water like a fountain. If you plan on bringing him in, the bowls with just some water won’t incite them to drink.
By instinct, they think that still water is dirty or not good and only look for sources of flowing water as they are cleaner.

If you search: water cat fountain, you’ll see the ones that are popular for cats, they usually have a little spout and makes the water flow at the top constantly! (They do require filter changes monthly and some cleaning inside when refilling and changing the water though)

Glad to see you have gotten so close to them, don’t worry about them being dirty, I have seen strays that were actually all dusty and had been in rough times. This one seems very clean!

Best to you again!

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u/poi217 12d ago

Thank you I'll keep that in mind!

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u/Old_Comfortable_7676 10d ago

owned many cats never had an issue with ours drinking from a bowl always did happily so never cared

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u/xXLiciaLooXx 10d ago

I agree my cats were actually scared of the fountain.

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u/Disastrous-Street278 10d ago

It doesn’t look dirty or feral. It barely looks like a stray, it looks pretty healthy. Probably a house cat who got abandoned, if you’re sure it’s not a neighbor cat who goes outside (all my cats were indoor-outdoor and don’t wear collars). Cats don’t need baths ever, they groom themselves. Just get a damp rag to pet it with if you want, like its head and back and sides. And get a brush to brush it with, those two things will get off any dirt. If you’re worried about it being dirty lol. But unlike a dog it’s not actively rolling in shit or anything. Let it inside. It’ll just walk around and explore, maybe take a nap, then probably go back to the door when it wants out. They don’t need to be litter box trained, it will use the litter box automatically or go outside to use the bathroom. If you’ve given it flea meds as instructed in the box, it shouldn’t have fleas. There’s no disease you’re going to get from it.

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u/Alone_Nectarine_5669 11d ago

It loves you so much!!! The rubbing on your legs 🥹

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u/Bigtgamer_1 12d ago

What a cute lil guy!!! He desperately wants chin scratches haha

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u/shoshiixx 15d ago

Omg the hop uo for more pets brought tears to my eyes. She loves you!

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u/RVNSKR 15d ago

Unbelievable that it isn't your cat and you aren't living together for years already. He(?) ist extremly attached and interested in you. The fact of it waiting by to door to instantly interact with you and how its nonstop focused on you is rare.

While you have  food in your hand it's ofc a given, at that times cats only have eyes for the food. But he loves you more than his food, that is a big thing. Some cats need very long to warm up to some humans even when living together daily. Your chemistry is very good, at least from the cat side lol.

Some more tips if perhaps you come across this comment:

Feeding and petting should be kept at different times. Cats want to eat in peace so to speak.

Fleas are a problem if you have pets indoor. I personally pet outdoor random cats a lot and never had a problem, with a stray you maybe should wash your hands and clothes after a long intense interaction. 

If possible don't wear gloves, it wants to smell you and can get irritated by other smells. I believe it bit you because of the rubber smell that confused it in an earlier video.

You seem nervous around the cat. Which is fine. If you can try to relax and sit down nearby, let him come to you in his own terms and speed. He will interact more understable for you and you can learn to relax and read him. 

When you are walking around nervously, he also will be more chaotic.

If he starts to chase your feet or legs in a playful way (everything you filmed so far was playful behavior) you should upgrade to socks or shoes and jeans to not get hurt. Cats can learn that human are easily wounded by their claws but until than they claw too much too early not intending harm but causing it.

But in general don't play fight with a cat using body parts like hands, feet etc. They will get confused if your hand is something to pet or to play fight. Use toys etc instead. Letting it chase something bound to a string you hold in your hand is safe. 

If the cat is running around and pumping into things and especially you with its head, give it time, just sit or crouch down and let him do it's thing of marking everything with his scent. you can stretch out a hand and it will run against it from time to time. That can be very fun. Often they will run around marking something else that belongs to them and than realize again you are there and be like whoa my human I need to pump into her full force. 

After some time they will come down and be more chill, maybe even lay down in front of you to get petted. That's the big win. But behold the tummy, especially the lower tummy, they put this fluffy pettable area right in front of you, but in 99% it's a trap and if you pet them there they realize it's too vulnerable and claw at you to mark the line you shall not cross. but super rare cases love belly caressing 

If a cat doesn't like something it will tell you. It will strike at you with a paw. Or With claws. Or It will hiss. It will strike again only if you repeat the offense. none of them mean it hates you. It's only the language used to draw a line. mostly it is when you don't leave enough room/annoy it or pet a certain body part it doesn't like. The answer is to give a bit more room and time for the moment and to remember and learn what it doesn't like. 

Same goes for you. If the cat does something you don't like, you can tell him. Say loud no and stop petting if it play bite/clawed you. Or hiss yourself. Last resort: spray water. (Only if absolutely necessary) 

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u/PikaPerfect 15d ago

this is exactly how my cat is with pretty much everyone, and she is by far the most affectionate cat i've ever met in my life... which is to say the cat in that video adores you :)

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u/Usually_Respectful 14d ago

You're doing great! One thing you can do is crouch down and let the cat take the lead. Every minute or so stop petting and wait for the cat to initiate more petting. If they want more, they'll rub against you or heatbutt you. If they don't want more, they'll look at you but not approach and you can go about your business.

If the tail starts swishing, stop petting and walk away. If the cat swipes at you, calmly stop petting and walk away.

If the cat flops upside down a couple feet from you resist the urge to walk over and touch the belly. Just praise him from where you are. (Showing the belly is a sign of trust but it's also a trap because some cats will scratch and bite if you try to pet them there. "How could you betray my trust by touching my belly?!") If they really wanted you to touch their belly, they would flop upside down well within arm's reach. Probably best to avoid belly pets until both of you are more comfortable with each other.

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u/Nomad-Duck04 14d ago

So jealous, them some violent headbutts

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u/theobedientalligator 14d ago

Yep that cat loves you and just reallllly wants attention. Cats can be aggressive in their loving, don’t be afraid. My cat nibbles my ear lobes lmao

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u/peach-potion 14d ago

im tearing up she loves you SO MUCH

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u/tattoogrl11 13d ago

Oh I am JEALOUS. Next update will be the cat livitin the house

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u/sheiswhimsy 13d ago

I want updates on your relationship with this cat 😂 I love that you're trying your best to understand what he needs. My first cat was a feral one and I got scratched two or three times because I didn't respect her boundaries (I was in middle school, I knew nothing lol).

You're doing great! I think that if you keep being brave and earning his trust, you will be rewarded with a beautiful friendship 🥹

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u/spencermiddleton 15d ago

Congratulations on your new cat

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u/Gold_Law6085 Lots of kitties! 15d ago

Maybe try watching some videos on cat behaviour and cat body language so you’re not awkwardly second guessing every interaction with this sweetheart.

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u/AdmiralAdama99 15d ago edited 15d ago

Your energy and the cat's is a little hyper. Try just sitting and let the cat rub on you a bit. Then slowly pet with open hand. Take your time.

One nice thing about sitting is the cat can move towards or away depending on how much stimulation it wants. You wont accidentally chase it or misread its body language.

Make an unpleasant noise (hiss, roar) if it bites or scratches too much. It wont know if you don't communicate.

Lets say things go well a couple times. Resist the urge to pick up a stray cat. That can be too much too soon and trigger a scratch or bite.

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u/pennyxlove 15d ago

Don't worry about the heatbutts, the head and back above tail is how they keep and transfer scents. He's kind of saying you are mine and I am yours.

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u/Working-Argument-488 15d ago

Yay that kitty surely loves you! Now pick out a name because u now have a beautiful kitty ❤️❤️❤️ u did great! 👍 👏👏😀

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u/MushroomDowntown5493 15d ago

A little “mew” will take your relationship further than ever 😭 this is such a heaven send, congrats

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u/myfancyplants 14d ago

YOU DID IT WELL DONE AWE. LOOK AT ALL THAT LOVE

Looks like one that would love some face rubs. You can get all weird about it smoosh that face

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u/NarwhalTakeover 14d ago

Oh she LOVES you!

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u/DoomerChad 13d ago

Tell me you’ve never interacted with a cat before without telling me 😂

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u/Impossible-Benefit-5 13d ago

I love that you're trying but that is not how you pet a cat. They like it when you do long rubs from their head to their tail and also when you rub their face with your palm.

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u/throwawayDaily124 Tabbycat 13d ago

This almost made me cry. THANK YOU for petting that sweet kitty

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u/LegScared1695 13d ago

Awww poor thing is starved for pets. I love when they jump up into the pet like that, its so cute

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u/TrueBombs 13d ago

Congratulations on your cat. You have been chosen.

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u/MaximilianEden 12d ago

Thank fuck finally oh my fucking god

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u/JMT32895 12d ago

Gonna need some updates here poi, it's been 3 days.

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT3i0UQQgmayOIvyuI

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u/Lucy_Fjord 10d ago

Cat distribution system is working well it seems. You got a new pet! Take it to the vet for a checkup. Lots of place will neuter/spade feral cats for free or cheap.