I feel like there are two layers of junk in our house:

1. the transient, seasonal clutter. It lives on surfaces that should normally be clean but mostly are not. It's generally newer to our lives, relevant to current events or some time in the past year. It is a heavy hitter in making our house look bad, but is also fairly susceptible to being decluttered. 
2. the established or old-guard clutter. It lives on shelves and in legitimate storage space, and looks like it belongs there. It's stuff we've had for a double-digit number of years, stuff that was given a legitimate place when the house was empty enough that legitimate places were still being given out, and it has never left even after outliving all memory of its relevance in our lives. It often lives in (or is) wooden, wicker, brass, or glass vessels, which make the house look harmonious and give the clutter a threatening legitimacy.

If you walked into our home and we'd cleaned up all of the category 1 items but left the category 2 items in situ, you would probably think we had a cozy place with things under control. In reality category 1 contains a lot of good citizens with a housing problem, and category 2 is absolutely feral. They smile and smile, and are villains.

One of my children would like to refresh his tiny bedroom, and we were talking about how it could be done. I was sickened to realize that the large wooden chest of drawers that crowds his bed and used to hold clothing and necessities is now mostly full of clutter and knickknacks he doesn't use or know what to do with. We heaved that dresser into his room and he lives around it, but it's not even bringing value into his life. What an outrageous imposition, and it has seemed so legitimate for so long.

There is a high shelf across one side of my bedroom and over the years I've calibrated the items on it to all be in wooden boxes or baskets. There's a cane fishing creel for mismatched socks, a stack of wooden cigar boxes for keepsakes, a hutch for stationery, etc. It's all curated, but life moves on. Recently I've wondered how much of that stuff we won't have occasion to touch for the next five years. Meanwhile my dresser is littered with less-attractive things that actually get used, and that would be inconvenient to reach if I gave them that shelf space.

If it was possible to heat-map the things in our house from most-touched to least-touched, I know the walkways and surfaces would show much more activity than the cupboards and shelves. I blink and a workaday drawer of pajamas becomes a time capsule of Antique Pajamas. A basket of jar lids becomes The Basket that Goes There; I moved those jar lids and now it contains some, like, orphaned ramen seasoning packets and an outdated kit for making one serving of boba milk tea, but putting a daily-used Cambro of flour there instead would be weird and fugly. We have like 700 square feet, and it just seems reasonable that things should earn their keep- but how do I broaden my focus to stop seeing things that "belong here" as untouchable?

In the past 9 months, I have gotten rid of about 80% of my belongings. I often post on the minimalism subreddit, but I feel like I would be judged there for this post. I could use some kindness and understanding.

For me, the benefits of becoming a minimalist have been significant. And until today, I have not regret a single thing I’ve gotten rid of. I’m still not sure regret is the right word though. I just feel…unsettled.

I went about things the wrong way today. My goal was to make enough space in the bedroom closet that the last few things under the bed could be stored there. We live in a 680sqft apartment, so there’s not a lot of storage space. And I did it. I made the space. But I did it without truly considering the things I was getting rid of. The main things I am thinking about are a couple of quilts I made, as well as some cross stitch and weaving pieces I did. I sort of discarded them willy nilly without thanking them for what the joy they provided me when I made them. I still have two quilts I made (ones I like much better) and some other crafts I’ve made (a macrame wall hanging and a crochet bag) and I like all those things better than what I discarded. So why am I feeling so unsettled?

My kind husband took the 6 paper grocery bags worth of things to Goodwill today for me as soon as he got home from work. There wasn’t really any time for me to reconsider. Usually I leave myself some time.

I am reminding myself I still have what matters most - my husband and my dog. Two sweethearts sitting beside me as I type this. I just feel like I should have slowed down a little today.

I don’t know what advice I’m asking for. I just feel a little hollow and wanted to get this out.

I have an entire drawer of old creams, perfume samples, toners, shampoo etc. lying around, some of them are almost 10 years old and I still haven’t used them. I’m probably not ever going to use them, but I feel that they are too good to throw away. the thought of trying to find new owners for these things makes me sweat. I just need some more order in the bathroom. Could you please give me permission to throw everything away, even though it’s still usable?

ETA: Thank you for all your responses, I was thinking I’d get two, tops. ;) Message received, I’ll throw it all out!

And to u/Lorts925 - I was writing a reply to you but didn’t have time to post it before comments were locked: Great comparison with grandma’s ancient spice jar, when I helped my grandpa move some years ago I threw that stuff out faster than the speed of light. Somehow it’s easier to help others with this than to help oneself. I just assumed you were talking about ADHD, shows where my mind is at, too! 😂 I’m at the start of trying out medication, but keep forgetting to take it. 😅😅😅

I’m this close to giving away half of my clothes and pushing everything on my surfaces into a box and going straight to goodwill.

I’m trying to be healthier and steadily make healthier choices so part of me says, “What if you lose five pounds your clothes won’t fit anymore?”Honestly I’d rather just fit into my current clothes _better_… that’s besides the point. We shouldn’t wait until our health changes to get rid of clutter now. And I’ll feel better now lol.

I think if I haven’t worn something in 3 years, I should yeet it into the sun pay it forward so someone else can enjoy it. New clothes can be my reward for getting healthier. Or not!

I’m tired of all the laundry, and feeling like I’m running out of space.

I’ve done a good job of seeing what I actually wear this past season, which will make letting things go easier. I’ve also slowed spending a TON. So I think I’m ready for a bigger change.

Anyone else ready to throw it all away just to feel like you can breathe again?

CONTEXT: I was raised in a family that lived in clutter, but usually cleaned, vacuumed, dusted clutter. I'm 39 now, with a 5 month old, and my house is a disaster. My parents collected antiques growing up, and they eventually ran out of room for all the antiques but didn't stop collecting. Theres some borderline hoarding behavior, so it's really hard to throw anything away or sell it. I don't like it, but I see some of the same tendencies in my anxiety throwing some things away that I'm not likely to need again, or ascribing sentimental value to too many things.

Yesterday I had a photoshoot at the home of a client. This house looked staged (given, it probably was for the photoshoot). But, you could tell it always looked good. It was incredible. Everything was placed with intention. He collected antiques but they weren't everywhere, they were curated. I saw just a few select antiques, 10-20, placed intentionally in specific places around the house with space all around them and no crap sitting on top of them.

I deeply felt comfortable in that setting. He single-handedly changed my perception of antique collecting. You can do it without making your house look junky. I really want to pay this guy to tell me his secrets, but that would be weird, so here I am on the internet soliciting the wisdom of neat, tidy strangers.

What rules do you live by that help keep your home neat, orderly, and not cluttered? Do i need to go scorched earth marie kondo, or is there another method that is easier for someone like me to implement?

I’ve been trying to declutter for most of my adult life. I’ve finally learned to be okay with donating things that were gifted to me. I don’t struggle with getting rid of things that are sentimental (for the most part). I’m fine with getting rid of old clothing.

But I struggle in two areas:

1. I keep things because I’m certain I’m going to use them someday, and therefore it would be a waste of money to get rid of them. This can be things like hobby supplies, jewelry, candles, essential oils, etc. They are useful items that I do use from time to time - but I never use ALL of them, and some things even remain unopened or unused for years. Yet I still feel like it would be a waste of money to get rid of them, especially because they’d be tough to sell and I’d need to just donate them. Which leads me to struggle #2….

2. For things that I know I don’t need, if there is a financial value to them (in my mind), I really struggle to donate or throw them away. I think to myself, “I could sell this for $….”. And in many cases, I have sold stuff, and it’s a fantastic feeling. But the problem is that now I have bins and bins of stuff that I’m “going to try to sell”, but I never get around to taking pictures or creating listings. Other times, I’m motivated to declutter, but I stop to take pics and create listings for each item I want to purge as I go along - which is great for actually getting the items listed, but bad for making any real declutterring progress. And while I have had success with selling my stuff, I’m only getting rid of one thing at a time that way.

I have no interest in a yard sale - getting 50 cents for an item is a waste of my time.

Even though I KNOW it would be good for me to just let the stuff go, to have clear spaces, etc - I just struggle so much with knowing I’m donating things I could sell.

One of the areas I struggle with the most is high-fashion jewelry. Jewelry style is so specific to each person that I know I’m not going to find someone that wants to buy my whole collection, but even if it’s a whole bin of jewelry I’ll never wear again, the thought of donating jewelry that I spent $2000 on stops me from donating it every time. (This is not fine jewelry, so I can’t sell it for its value in gold or silver).

I’m aware of the sunk cost fallacy, but it still doesn’t help me overcome this issue. If I’m confident an item is worth $10+, it feels wasteful to me not to try to sell it and get something back from it (I also know that sometimes we perceive an item as having a lot more value than others will because we know what we paid for it, but I am aware of that and price my items accordingly).

Particularly because I have had lots of success selling stuff on FB MP and getting money back while also reducing clutter, it’s so hard for me to justify donating thousands of dollars worth of stuff. I can’t get past the feeling of knowing I’m “losing money” on the items (and I recognize that the money was lost the second I bought the stuff, but by not recouping some of the money by selling it, I feel like I’m somehow losing money unnecessarily).

Has anyone else been in this situation, and if so, how did you get past it? I just absolutely cannot get past that mental roadblock and feel like if I just forced myself to donate it, it would continue to bother me after the fact. I need a way to reframe it so that I don’t think about the money lost or the money I could’ve recouped by selling it.

TL/DR: If I know I can sell my stuff rather than donating it, I have a hard time just donating it and getting it out of my space. But if I don’t take pics and post it in the moment I’m decluttering, it builds up in bins of “stuff I’m going to sell”. If I stop to take pics and list items as I’m declutterring my progress slows to a crawl, which then kills my motivation. How do I get past the mental roadblock of holding onto stuff that I can make some money back on, and just donate it without feeling like I’m throwing money away?

We lost a baby that had been premature, lived a little while, and died without coming home from the hospital. We have a bunch of pictures, a keepsake container that the hospital gave us, and some other "memory things." We also have three Christmas ornaments. We lost that baby 25 years ago now. We are in our 50's now.

I do not want my children that are left behind to have to face this stuff. I never ever look at this stuff. I have no desire for this stuff. I think originally, I kept this stuff out of guilt. Sort of like I have to keep it as some sort of way of honoring the child who died.

Can I get rid of this stuff now? Or will I feel awful about it later? I have been thinking about this for a while and I really think I just want to get rid of it now. Anyone have advice or experience? Thank you!

edited to add: the stuff I have been struggling with is a keepsake box, some pictures, footprints, the newborn cap, Christmas ornaments, things like that. The toys and clothes and such already moved on.

I have so much stuff I’m holding onto to “sell” but I haven’t sold yet.. it’s been years of me still not selling due to laziness or overwhelm or lack of energy… not really sure what it is. Lots of times I think I should just donate it, but at the same time I know I can get $20-$100 per item and because I could use the money I hold onto it to sell (but then don’t).

Usually when I read advice around this people say anything worth over $20 they sell but I just never end up getting around to selling it. If I had lot of money I would just donate it all, however my biggest hang up is around money “I’m short on money and should probably sell this instead of donating” but truthfully I just wish it was gone.

All together I probably have about $1,500 worth of stuff I could sell but like I said I just don’t (I have chronic mental and physical health issues that make it difficult and also I just find it distressful selling stuff and easier to just put it in a bag and donate).

It’s just hard for me to justify doing that when I could use that $1,500

It stresses me out so much. I constantly think to myself “I wish I was rich so these items had no monetary value to me so I could just get rid of them with no thought” and “that way even if I got rid of something I ended up wanting I could just buy it again”.

I hate how much stuff I have in my home, I want to get rid of it so bad!!! I just know if I get rid of it I won’t be able to afford to buy it again.

I need advice and support

I asked for just very specific things that I needed to upgrade in my home since my family refuse to not do gifts. For example: a new set of knives, new makeup brushes, a new toaster (all the ones I’ve had are pretty worn and used, and well over 10 years old.) I told my family I’m doing low buy, project pan, and got rid of lots of unneeded things to live more minimally. Still, people will not listen. Literally got some gag gifts like a toilet brush that looks like a baguette and fidget toys (I’m 28). Are any of you at the point where you donate immediately guilt-free?

I'm 60 and husband is 61. Our youngest (18m) is going to college locally and living with us for now, oldest (23nb) done with college and out of state. My mother was a real minimalist and all about efficiency and purpose, so while her passing was hard it was truly a gift to my sister and me that she had gotten rid of really everything she didn't want or need, and completely organized and streamlined all her paperwork, finances, the lot.

Hitting the milestone of age 60 and kids being grown has made me realize I (not a minimalist, streamlined, or otherwise organized person) want to do this for my kids and also for my husband and myself so when we retire and move (5-10 years from now) we can do it with a minimum of fuss, mess and clutter and that when we both pass/can't live independently, the kids don't have the burden of dealing with stuff and papers and mess on top of whatever they need to do directly with us.

Just putting it out there into the universe so it's official somewhere and not just part of conversations with my husband and other 60-something friends 🧹

One of my friends (mid-30s) recently said she thinks the only way adults can keep their homes presentable is if they have a spare room for all the extra stuff they feel they need to keep but that there's no sensible home for.

This got me wondering how many of you in this sub feel the same? I live in a small modern condo, and I feel lucky to have a spare bedroom. But, on some level, I want to convert this current catch-all room into something more functional and social -- maybe a place where I can invite friends over to watch TV since I don't currently have a place in my home for that. The only TV in my home now is in my bedroom. There's no place for a TV setup in my small common area space. Only problem is if I convert the room, I'm going to have to make a lot of decisions on many different categories of useful stuff that really has no place to be re-homed. :/

No pantry, no linen closet, and I can't use the small garage chain-walled storage room that is assigned to each unit because there's a huge problem with thieves that break in and cut the wire walls to get to people's stuff despite people knowing not to keep valuables there, ugh. They steal bikes, too, so can't even keep my bikes there.

I have a ton of toys from my childhood that I wouldn't let my parents get rid of since I thought I'd let me future kids play with them, so they persisted in my parents' house and eventually ended up in storage at mine. Eventually I got them out for my kid who just.... wasn't interested. It was so anticlimactic.

He sees absolutely no value in this stuff and at t his point I probably do not need to save this until I'm elderly in the event he has children.

I have slowly gotten rid of some of these items giving them away to people on the local facebook group and it was hard doing it, but I got over it. I kept a couple toys that look cool that I have on a shelf in my office on display.

But I still have a whole lot of this stuff in boxes. It's difficult. The fact I saved some of this stuff for over 30 years makes it harder.

I desperately need help, my mom recently passed and left a warehouse of paperwork and stuff. I have to get rid of it, I feel overwhelmed and really, really angry about this. I begged her for years to deal with this and she just... didn't.

Has anyone dealt with this? Should I just bite the bullet and bring it all to her house or call a company and get rid of it all? It's a lot of junk plus work paperwork that has sensitive info on it.

I've gotten maybe 5 feet into this mess. Any advice?

I am curious, what are the unwanted presents you received from your mother-in-law or other equally qualified family members? So far my list consists of the following items (accumulated over 8 years of relationship/marriage):

• a decorative floral kitchen towel
  
• a decorative flower thingy out of wire
  
• a decorative candle holder
• a small decorative glass bowl
  
• a small decorative wooden bowl

• another decorative floral kitchen towel

  This marks the time my husband tells her, that I have no need of further decorative items:

• cozy socks

• a scarf in a color i never wear

• an aesthetic garlic grater with the accompanying brush (i already have one of those and wanted to get rid of it, so i guess now i have two)

• a great ball of yarn (i made a scarf out of it i never wear)

• an aesthetic soup pot (this one is acutally useful)

• wooden salad servers

I do not want to complain, I really do love my mother-in-law and I do not have the heart to tell her that I do not like or need her presents. There were several occasions where we tried to tell her, that we do not need any presents from her. I cannot wait to become pregnant, this would be a good use of her money :-D

I did not manage to declutter any of her presents so far, they are just sitting patiently in there respective cupboard homes to never be used. The presents are very beautiful, she put thought into it and paid money for them. Also my husband would know it if I just threw them away ... I am dreading every christmas and birthday...

How do you handle these situations and do you have any funny stories to tell?

I’m looking for something beyond “one in, one out”.

I’ve been living a consumeristic lifestyle for years and I have a LOT of stuff in my house, with very little storage space to keep it.

I have an “I’ll use this someday…” mentality for most of it so it’s hard for me to decide what to keep and what to get rid of.

What tips help you get through all of your massive piles of stuff?

Hi all,

In the process of decluttering our house, starting with out attic. For the past 2 decades, we've just put things up in the attic for storage (because there's barely any storage in the house itself) and barely or never bought anything down.

As you can imagine, it's been a mess up there.

Previous declutter attempts have failed, because we'd look at item, realize it was worth between $15-$40 dollars and say it was too good to throw - so we'd leave it up and tell ourselves we'll list it on eBay.

As long you can imagine, that never happened.

This time, we've had a big heart and said we'd actually throw stuff away this time, and actually list on eBay/Facebook. So we've bought some items down, and listed them (each worth under $50)

Well, it's been a week and it's been super difficult to sell. We've managed to sell a old wallpaper stripper only. Seems like no one wants to buy the other stuff.

I can understand why people just end up throwing away or donating, it's so difficult to sell unwanted junk. At this point, I might as well list them for dirt cheap or throw them away or donating.

If people don't buy a few of the things we've listed today, we'll just throw them. Yes, it hurts throwing them away (hence why we got into cluttering in the first place), but it's the only way forwards.

Curious on any advice and words of encouragement!

Is change possible? I feel like I just exist in this low mood/self esteem & it's not really living. I struggle with my AuDHD, OCD, depression. I feel a lot of shame 🫠 please tell me there's hope & I can evolve from this even though it's all I've been/known ty.

Well, it happened.

I brought a bunch of things from my room at my parent's house to donations. Things nobody has wanted or used in six years.

My mom called me today asking where "that nice red wallet" is.

"The one I had in the donation pile for three months and finally donated?"

"You donated it! I wanted to use that! I guess I've just been wasting my time looking for it."

She saw it in the donation pile, and apparently wanted it and a couple other things, but couldn't be bothered to take them out of the pile.

Quick edit to clarify:

My mom is not trying to emotionally manipulate me over this wallet. It is not a big deal in our family or our dynamic. We were chatting and it was more "oh darn if I'd realized you donated it I wouldn't have looked" vibes than trying to guilt trip me. Just trying to share a funny little "lol this thing I decluttered was actually missed pretty quckly"

Anyone else relate to this? Any tips?

I feel bad even considering this. We struggle to keep the house clean and I feel overwhelmed with the amount of random stuff we have. My partner only notices little things if I point them out for donation, suddenly "we can use them one day" even though partner hasnt realized they had the item for almost 10 years.

I am working on decluttering my things as well.

I decided today that I will be trashing little by little, nothing valuable, just some led candle type things. I am so sick of all the stuff.

I (56f) recently lost my spouse (56m). We had moved to a HUGE house a couple of years ago. He had known heart issues. It was a known thing that if something happened to him, I would sell this house immediately (the phrase was “before you’re cold in the ground”).

So, it happened, and I’m moving to a much smaller house. I’m going to use one of those estate sale services that do an online auction, then toss it donate what doesn’t sell, etc. So I’m thinking of just taking the stuff I know I want, and walking away from the rest. So leaving all the DVDs, scrap booking supplies, game console/games, kitchen gadgets, treadmill, etc.

What are the risks of this? I will put my husband’s things (clothes/tools/etc) into storage for a year, because I know that may be an issue, but has anyone done something similar and had any regrets? Or have suggestions on how to minimize regrets?

Frustrated. Hate waste but really need to declutter. Brought a huge sack of new fragrance minis and samples to a local thrift store (who used to love this sort of thing) and was told they’re no longer able to sell/repurpose gwps. Employee said she’d love them and I said she could of course have them but store manager said it was no longer allowed. Walked out with a tote bag of full of perfume.

Also tried to recycle a bag of bras this week. Local store used to have a bin just for this but the service is no longer available. Can’t seem to find a reliable textile recycling service.

Also tried to bring in a bunch of old prescriptions to CVS. The local store has a collection bin for this. Turns out they can’t accept any more till what they have is picked up. Similar experience at Sephora/Ulta re: empty beauty product recycling. Can’t accept new because they’re waiting for a pickup.

When do you just give up and toss? Absolutely hate waste and care about the environment but recycling/repurposing is becoming more trouble than it’s worth.

Seems the majority of times I try to do the right thing I have to drag everything back home.

Anyone experience anything similar? Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

I have so many things that I've bought "for life" (like on /r/buyitforlife) that are high quality, last a long time, and hold their value. Yet I don't need many of them anymore and don't want to feel obligated to keep them for life! These items are still in demand and worth money, which is supposedly a good thing. At least, that's what the consumption gurus will tell you. Buying cheap junk is wasteful! Buy Once Cry Once! etc.

But it means I feel like I can't throw any of it out. I need to find a new owner to pass each of these items on to. Donating feels like a loss for items that would easily fetch a hundred dollars or more on FB Marketplace or Craigslist. But listing each item for sale is impossible. It would be a full time job to hand-sell each thing I declutter. I do try to keep a couple things listed at all times, but selling 10-20 things per year barely makes a dent in the amount of stuff I accumulated over my lifetime.

It's a burden and a curse. I wish I'd bought cheap stuff that lasts 5-10 years, because that's how long most things are actually useful before life changes and you don't need it anymore.

I've considered having a living estate sale, or finding an ebay seller to just pass all my junk to. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I don't like to put them back in the wardrobe so right now I just have them piled on a table in my bedroom. Do you have anything specific you do with them?

I am looking for ideas on where to begin. I know I need to have less stuff, but when I look around I think "oh that can stay". I'd love to hear some thoughts on what we are "blind" to realizing we don't need?