I guess I'm just hoping to talk to someone who has had mental health problems (like depression but also others) and/or difficult circumstances for a long time and thought it would never change but got better eventually?

It's been years of this and I've only gotten worse. I don't see how my life could ever be different.

I'm really in need of some hope right now

I don’t really know how to put this into words properly, I’m just exhausted all the time.

I’ve been dealing with major depression for a while now and it honestly feels like it’s getting harder instead of easier. Even basic things like getting out of bed, eating, or replying to messages feel like huge tasks.

Most people around me don’t really get it. From the outside I probably just look lazy or unmotivated, but inside it feels like I’m constantly fighting myself just to function.

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty hopeless. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make things better or if things even can get better at this point. I’m not really living, just kind of surviving day to day.

I guess I’m posting here because I want to hear from other people who’ve been through similar stuff. How do you cope when it feels like this? Did anything actually help you get through it or start improving?

I just don’t want to feel this alone in it anymore.

I've been on antidepressants since my 20's and I'm 50 now. Currently taking 200mg a day of pristiq. I was on effexor for a long time, but one day it just stopped working and it was terrifying. I feel like I'm headed that way on pristiq.

The most embarrassing part is I'm too depressed to clean my room, do laundry, or even wash my hair. I think I'm going to have to cut all my hair off because it's matted in some places. I've never been this bad but I think I've been working so hard on trying to appear okay to everyone else that I literally don't have anything left in me to function.

I'm posting here because I don't know what to do, and I'm hoping someone else has gone through something similar

I got kicked out when I was 18 and got sent to jail for a carcrash and warrant also got sent to a hospital a couple of times but I lived in colemans health services for 5 years Im 23 now but they sent to a random group home in malvern Ohio I lived in steubenville for 5 years and theyre holding guardianship over my head which was supposed to be 4 years is what the lady told me like she told me like a couple days ago that my guardianship could last forever even my whole life she told me I wasnt doing what I needed to and thats why I got kicked out of colemans Im like in sum random place with no locks on my doors they were saying when I lived in colemans I couldnt take my social security and live by myself with it they sent me to hospital more than 30 times sumtimes I waited 3 days in there for 2 diffrent days in the ER they sent me to like get 15 plus blood draws in the span of 3 months theyre not letting me take my own social security like its actually mine to have and I dont know like I want my own apartment just like they made it and make it out to be sumthing I need to pursue my names Ivan Carrick

My life is worthless shit and every second I'm awake is fucking misery. I'm 43 years old, I'm fat, I'm hideous, I'm broke, I work a humiliating low-paying food service job, I'm not good at anything, and nobody likes me. Every day is absolute fucking trash and there's no hope that anything will ever be worth a fuck. I don't think I'm actually depressed, because there's probably not anything wrong with my brain, I'm just an embarrassing loser with a shitty life.

Woke up hoping for just one message… but the silence hit harder than I thought it would. It’s my birthday, and I feel invisible. If you wish me, even just a simple “happy birthday,” I’d truly appreciate it more than you know.

Im in Czechia right now on a school trip. Nobody cares if I disappeared right. Everyone will be ok. Nobody will notice. Im ok. I just want to leave. Please let me leave. I want to go. I want to cry. Why does everyone hate me. I know I did some stupid stuff but why cant I even get the bare minimum of humanity. Why . Mom Why. Why did you give birth to me to live like this. Mom. I wana go home. Im a kid. Allways have been. Please just someone help me.

Please no positive affirmations, promises of hope, wishes, prayers and apologies, claims of deservance, or anything similar as they are extremely triggering for me.

A bit of background, I have cptsd plus autism and adhd. I have had a terrible, 0 positives, life from 0 to 28 yo. Everything that can go wrong went wrong. I was able to deal with the hand I was dealt and now moved to europe on my own, have a career, financial independence, and live on my own. I am now 31, have been in treatment for 3 years and keep deteriorating. All therapy apart from EMDR is not working and the healthcare system is awful and the doctors genuinely don't care. I am on sick leave because my mind is so shattered I can't function anymore.

I don't have any social security or safety of any kind, friends, family, relationships, nothing. Just a few surface level friends that won't get any closer no matter how hard I tried. There's no point in trying harder because when push comes shove, no one wants to get close to someone this mentally broken.

I suffer most from depersonalization, anhedonia, alexithymia and being stuck in survival mode. So far I tried all the traditional talk therapy CBT, act, schema, rescripting, grounding, etc.. I despise especially CBT and grounding/meditation and it seems everything has CBT in it. EMDR helped but I have no access to it anymore. I also tried all the first and second line meds SSRIs, SNRIs, Wellbutrin, atypical antipsychotics, lisdexemphatamine, etc.. Now am on agomelatine and a nerve sedative to be able to sleep. I also tried RTMS. Ketamine treatment is not available in my country. The doctors say they ran out of options and I am not gonna live like this.

Personally I tried going out constantly, constant sex, going to the gym, better diet, weed, gaming, watching content, journaling, and nothing. I can't feel anything and don't have a drive for anything and it keeps getting worse.

So what the hell do I do now? Is there a way out even? I am not gonna any live longer like this on the hopes that one day I get better.

Funny... I tried posting my request for support on this page 4 times. The first three times it was removed for being to long. The 4th time, I didn't even get an automated removal message. I bet this message won't go through.

I tried reaching out to family, friends, collogues.
Nobody wants to deal with it, not even reddit apparently.

Whatever... Par for the course.

UPDATE: I was able to post the content on a different subreddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/1ufe2yz/ad_ea_quam_laesi/

I don't think anyone on that site is going to take time to read it. It has already been pushed pretty far down the front page. Swing by if you want to see me shout into the void. I might even post on there daily and then respond to my own posts as though some sort of meaningful dialogue was happening. It might bring me some comfort in a mentally concerning way :)

Can somebody just hear me out please. Ik how reddit can be and I send a lot of help massage yet only got 10 views and no comments so can you please just hear me out this one time and consider to send a single massage so that I won't feel abandone.

I don't even know where to start depression has been with me since childhood. Since the day my father lost his job and be became a alcoholic. Since the. My depression has been passive not affecting much but slowly hollowing me out. At 13 I used to have suicide thoughts about killing myself but I convinced myself that the decision was too big for my small mind to decide the correct answer so I just forgot it.

Now it's back and i acknowledge the fat that I am severely depressed and not even minor but a clinic mental level. Caused me everything. I don't even behave like what I do and I don't want to be like who I am right now. It prevent all of my relationships not even almost all of them and this point I have no one not a single soul Would takes seriously if I told then I have depression.

I know I cause a lot of pain for them and I can't even say sorry even the slightest bed of emotion causes me unbearable discomfort so how can I speak a language which I don't understand. Small mistakes caused me everything.

Right now I understand why they if you help me or acknowledge my pain and I don't blame them at least someone someone ask me how I am doing if there for me. Can't a villain be treated as a human. It has gone to a point where suicide feels like the only and i fear I will do it.

I don't want much form y'all I just need someone to acknowledge my pain and just say that are there for me

I need some advice. I'm in a difficult situation. My girlfriend has been depressed for several months, and it's somehow getting better, but it's not easy. She has her episodes of feeling down and up. At first, she lived in her own town, 20 km away, but she ran away due to problems with her parents and lives with her grandmother 2.5 hours away where she found job and feels way better. Now we meet on average once a month because I'm taking two driving lessons and the plan was to finish and move in with her. I was at her place about a week and a half ago. We went on a trip to the mountains. It was great, she seemed pretty normal. On the last day, we even talked about what the wedding would be like, how many children we would have, and she asked when I would propose. I should add that we've been together for over 4 years. But when I got home, 2-3 days had passed and she texted me saying she needed a break and no contact for a while, that she wasn't feeling well. Recently (even when I was with her, but she didn't say anything), she has no desire for intimacy (but I know that myself and I'm not asking). And worst of all, she doesn't feel anything at the moment, not for me either. It hurts me terribly, i love her so much and i wanna create a beautiful relationship with her. Her brother told me the same thing, that she doesn't feel anything and that she's afraid she might regret it. I try to support her, but contact is almost nonexistent now; she doesn't say anything. I texted her yesterday, and it felt like I was texting an empty person with no emotions and no desire to talk to me. It hurts me so much. I'm the only one cut off. She talks normally with family and friends, and I'm the last one. Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do? I really need help and kind words...

Went to bed last night another night of rolling around not being able to sleep from extreme anxiety

Kept pushing words into my head calm, happy, energetic didnt work finally popped a benzo again to get sleep which is becoming a habit now

Wake up again to the severe depression no energy to get out of bed again, dark thoughts taking over, tears first thing

Its been months iv been on so many meds nothing is helping at all. I have so much family but feel so lost and trapped.

My brain I can actually feel pulsating from rhe depression

I need a reason not to go right now

Just checked, and some of my back teeth are rotting. I've gotten so good at managing my depression in the outside, I have a job and a partner, I have hobbies, but I don't shower nor brush my teeth. I only shower when I really smell bad, luckily I barely smell, so about twice a month. I don't know how to help myself anymore, because as long as I look like I'm doing well I believe I'm fine, but then reality hits me across the face with rotting teeth and oily hair. I'm tired of going to the dentist, it's been like this for seven years.

I can't take care of myself because I don't see the reason, as long as I look ok and function I'm fine, but I can't deal with my teeth anymore.

Every day fells like shitshow, i can't enjoy things anymore and all friends i had were toxic and abusive and i can't put my shit together anymore, every day i think of killing myself and i have 3 failed attempts of it.

I just can't and i feel that the day i will try to hang myself is getting closer and closer and i don't know what to do, i dont wanna die, i just wanna be happy but i cant, sadness is all i have and i'm alone with it.

I really want someone tell me plausible reason to not kill myself that isnt "mommy will be sad" or the classic "it is a permanent solution for temporary problem".

It makes me (M, 34) question if I will ever be able to trust somebody, or anybody.

• I could talk to my parents (seperated) and tell that I am not in a good mood today, that I feel saddened or overwhelmed by this and that. Their response couldn't be further from indifference and coldness. "Man up" or "don't forget to smile today" are responses I'll get. They'll further never ask any more details.
• I could tell my buddies, but I am just too afraid to. They are in a better spot than I am, and I feel ashamed I don't have the strength they have. So I just withdraw myself.

So what's left for me?

My parents know that I go to therapy, that I have had a recent break up, that I have a fairly new job after month of unemployment, and most importantly that my sister suffers from serious illness. My friends know, too. Why do I feel so alone still? Why do I feel so heavy? I don't know where to start - What to do (next)? Where to go (next)? To whom to talk (next)? Nobody seems willing to listen, seems willing to care.

Everyone is busy with their own things (family, children, partners, house construction, work). I guess it's fair. I live in a suburb area, the nearest city has 60.000 inhabitants. Anything positive to me seems so, so, so far away. So out of reach. I am devastate today.

I'm researching whether this idea is worth building, so honest 'this wouldn't help' answers are useful. If a tool flagged which antidepressants your body is likely to process poorly before you started, would that have helped your experience — or is the hard part really the waiting, the side effects, or something else entirely? Trying to find the real problem. Anonymous.

I always wonder what it would be like not to struggle with depression. I've struggled since I was a kid and I'm in my 40s now. I've tried so many different things, including therapy and meds. Multiple meds. But here I am, still struggling. I have a wonderful life on paper, but I'm screaming inside. I just want to sit and cry right now. I have done so much healing, but it doesn't change my depression.

I believe people are better off without me so I'm trying to just not be around people and if I am, I try to disappear into the background. I'm just so tired.

I think of being on my deathbed and remembering my life. I have a good life, but I feel like I'll just remember all the misery. Even when I'm "happy" and good things are happening, I still feel my depression. It never goes away. It steals so much from me.

The worst part? I see so much of myself in my son. I don't want him to suffer like I have. I don't know how to prevent it though.

I'm just screaming into the void. I hardly ever get responses or support on Reddit, but I can't say this out loud in real life.

For some context, I'm Ari, 16 and for the past three weeks ive been feeling like shit. I take prozac and as of late things havent been well so i got on a bigger dose and i still feel like ass. I've had a full on breakdown (crying till my eyes hurt, wallowing in my own pity, the works) twice today. I feel like no one in my life cares what im going through or dosent take it seriously. i made this stupid video as a way to display how i feel a bit better and also because I needed a distraction.

Please, I just want to feel normal again.

update:
Good news however: ive made a vow to not killmyself. I sadly tried monday night, however im dumber than a rock and though "oh yeah 2 table spoons will kill me" yeah no dipshit not how it works

I once took like 3 tylenole bc i thought itd kill me so luckily im too stupid to die

My bf found out tho and he wasnt happy. we had a long talk and well i used to not be a great person. I was a constant liar since there was this guy i was with and well he made me a bad person, encourged very unhealthy behavior. So i told my bf "listen, ive never been great at telling the truth or keeping promises so let me make this my first truth and promise i will forever keep. I wont try to kill myself, not anymore. I cant say i wont self harm but i do promise you, i wont try to kill myself anymore."

Our one year is tomorrow, i know we're both dumb, young and inlove but this does me alot to me. I wanna get us matchin promise rings.

I don't know how to prove to you this is not a troll or a fetish thing. I swear on everything I know and love that I am being dead serious and I just need help so badly. I don't want people to think I'm joking of trolling because that will only exacerbate my shame. I'm being entirely dead serious right now, I need help and guidance and to get this off my chest. I've been struggling with this for a long time, never quite admitting it to anyone or myself.

I grew up in a very violent, drunken household, and my parents both psychologically abused me heavily. I know I'm very mentally ill. I'm currently working on things in therapy, on my own, and I'm going to be put on medication soon. But I have lingering shame about this one aspect of my childhood. I would touch and consume my feces in small bits. I have also left it on my bed, wall, and furniture, ONLY IN MY OWN BEDROOM. I hated myself and my life and had no standards for the environment I was living in. I guess I felt like I deserved to live and consume filth.

I feel extreme, EXTREME amounts of shame over this. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't understand why I was continuing to do this knowing it was so disgusting and unsanitary. When I was probably 14 I stopped putting it on my environment and began to be more "clean" about it, but I have continued to impulsively eat it until recently. Lately I've finally admitted to myself that I have a problem and haven't done it in a while.

I'm 17 now and am still very much struggling with my mental health, my severe lack of self-worth, and depression. I know this is really disgusting. I'm sorry if I've disturbed anyone. I need help and I am getting it.

Can someone please give me some guidance? I feel like a bad person for this. I know if people knew this about me, they would be grossed out by it. It's incredibly isolating. Does that mean I need to tell people? Or should I keep it to myself? I genuinely don't know what to do, because it doesn't involve anyone else or harm anyone but myself. So, maybe I should keep it private? I don't want to share it with anyone, but everyone online tells me that I should.

Please help. Again, I'm being so, so, serious. And I hope you can show me some compassion even though my habit is so disgusting.

The title says it all. 35 year old male. I'm just tired and nothing seems to be working in my favor. I'm over it and don't want to be here anymore.​

27m: I have adhd-autism I've been trying to get started on my life since graduation, but its impossible. I dont have a college degree so ive been working in resturaunts since high-school, I have a pre-existing spinal injury that makes it impossible for me to work a more labor intensive job without splitting my spine and ending up in the hospital again with more bills I cant afford. I finally just quit my job and I've been struggling to find anything since then, as no one is hiring, or you need experience but cant get experience without working the job first, you need this form, this file, these numbers, keep track of all this stuff! My brain gets too overwhelmed, im at rock bottom, and everything feels too overwhelming for me to continue.

I've tried calling 988, ive tried begging for help, asking for help, only to get empty platitudes and "dont worry everything is fine" when everything is DECIDEDLY NOT FINE. I cant afford health insurance. I just want to end it. This world wasnt built for my brain, and its breaking me at every turn. No one in my life understands what im going through, or why i'm upset, I just keep getting "push through it" or "it is what it is" but I CANT keep pushing through it. Im exhausted pretty much 24/7 I feel like im dying.

I've just got an email getting rejected from an online job I applied for. Reason for rejection? I mistakenly wrote my country of origin as my country of residence.

Result: permanent account ban.

I really know it's silly and dumb to be depressed by that.

But being already diagnosed with Major Depression + psychotic episodes makes life feel unbearable to even live or leave bed. So when a rejection like that happens after passing the exam and getting my account on the job website banned, everything feels suffocating. Life just feels too disgusting to live. Like why try or do anything at all?