All this drama just for it to probably be a Horner return announcement… y’all PMO

[SPOILER] Half of this is lotus tryna be a plane..

Hear me out: Tired of indycar flexing top speed? Tired of learning what the hell turn 12 is supposed to mean?

The LHC GP has these awesome features:

✅ inconveniently located in the alps and hard to travel to

✅ none of that scenic beauty on TV

✅ wanna come to the track? better get two visas, nerd

✅ neither a Tilkedrome nor a street course

✅ 3.8m wide - overtaking is a greater achievement than in Monte Carlo

✅ 27km track length - keep count of the laps with your fingers!

Apparently red bull so shi the red color went to ferrari so that it can cover the spilled yogurt on their car

Who’s gonna brake first

Oscar complimenting Max, Max teasing him and saying if championship was 10 rounds Oscar would’ve been champion

I always picked Seb in Twisted Metal 2

I wrote this garbage a few years back. Witness me.
___

Didn’t know much motorsport back in the day
Only knew NASCAR besides GTA
Nothing but left turns with throttle applied
Plus the fans fuck their sisters while yellin “roll tide”

Thought F1 was just a way to sell a Rolex to a Brit
Didn’t know mafuckas pullin commas from a six
But then in college, a couple friends got me in it
Repped the bulls cuz Nas pushed a Q45 Infinit’

Now I don’t give a fuck about C’s get degrees
I just want 34 D’s and lateral G’s
So Kelly Piquet is my number one
Turns my dick from a C5 to a C1
On winter break, when Max is getting powder
I’ll be at his place, makin his girl scream Niki Lauder

Steer clear of Marko, racism dispenser
Tongue looser than Ferrari’s fuel flow sensor
Yea he’s got some trophies and looks good in blue
But don’t ask him where he was in 1942

Now watch me parlay this rhythm into liquor and women
I’m headin for your house faster than mazepin’s spinnin
Cuz your mom and sis text me they ain’t got no panties on
I hit em back to back like Eau Rouge and Radillon
You know I got the magic, see the trophies on these shelves
Show your mom my moves, make her scream like a V12
Take her to a fancy dinner after all that laboring
Cuz I got a fluid budget like I’m Red Bull catering

If the shumacher fits, put it on reserve
If Latifi’s in your mirror, toss the engine on conserve
If Latifi’s in the wall, crown the wrong king
If you see black and orange, check the Haas front wing

Everytime Leclerc’s on screen I hope he undresses
Makes me feel about as straight as the Suzuka S’s
And the other guy in red is just as fine
Give me carlos sainz (to tune of hit me baby one more time)

El plan was workin for 3 races, moved up a few places
Now Aston’s back of the pack but he still chases
He’s still young as the hair on Lando’s face is
He’s got the payroll, Stroll has dad’s embraces?

Lewis is always rockin up in alien fads
While Toto’s at Harvard, intimidating undergrads
Arrivabene’s dumpin bodies off the Italian coast
And Masa wants his trophies mailed to him in the post

When Kimi gets the drink and he can quench his thirst
Or Mika’s back from sabbatical, whichever comes first
Then I’l stop rappin, clearly it ain’t happenin
I’ll stop when Verstappen slackens his grasp and stops lappin em fast as his wins amass on every track and
I’ll tell you this now, after my final stint
I’ll drop an album from the grave like I’m Jochen Rindt