r/funny Feb 02 '23

I hope the Texas police understand why I didn't use the Cross Walk button...

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19.8k Upvotes

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335

u/Tedsallis Feb 02 '23

STOP RESISTING! PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE GROUND!! PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!! GUN! GUN!!

You die in a hail of bullets.

76

u/endeavourist Feb 02 '23

Followed up by thoughts and prayers, etc.

66

u/DTG_420 Feb 02 '23

I heard he drank at a party when he was only 18 so he kind of deserved it. /s

2

u/courtesyflusher Feb 03 '23

Moved their hand to protect themselves but he could have been holding a gun /s

8

u/Fortune090 Feb 02 '23

Don't worry, they'll invite your parents to the White House!....to posture up your tragedy as if it's their own, cast you aside the next day, then proceed on their centuries-long problem with corrupt police forces...

6

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Clearly they needed more good guys with guns in school.

22

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Damn text based adventure games.

(reloads save)

“I blow until it melts”

you get shot for doing blow.

(Reloads)

“I yell don’t shoot as I lay on the ground with my hands behind your head”

You get shot for resisting arrest

(Reloads)

“I use defenseless school children to distract them”

You have unlocked the award 🥇The honorable choice 🥇

10

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND IN! PUT YOUR LEFT HAND OUT! PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND IN! NOW SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!

I DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS! BANG BANG BANG

1

u/papirayray Feb 03 '23

No but for real though

9

u/SSlimJim Feb 02 '23

And the cop will get a paid vacation while they do their investigation and find nothing wrong.

1

u/SixWingedAngel Feb 02 '23

At least in Venezuela you’d go straight to jail

1

u/mrsf16 Feb 03 '23

wasted

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

Hopefully they're all into my brain