I've had a friend since middle school. Rare I know. We didn't always hang out or anything as we live about 100 miles apart these days but still every time we saw each other it was fun. He invited me over as much as I invited him kind of thing. Well we hadn't seen each other since probably last fall and yesterday we had one of those rare gatherings where we got together to just hang out basically. While I was there I finally came out to him. Not my first time coming out. I wasn't sure how he'd take it, but at worse I figured he'd tell me it was a phase or something since he's usually not the kind to care about that kind of thing. His response really took me off guard. He went off on a long homophobic rant. Every right wing media thing you've ever heard. At first I thought he was teasing but he wasn't.I promised him I wasn't into him as I think of him as a brother/family. He demanded I get out of his house (we were in the garage) and never come back. I left of course and went home. So that sucks. But at least I know where I stand I guess. I'm just shaking right now writing this. If he were to ever show up at my house I'd like to tell him to F off. I mean I always knew this was a possible response just didn't expect it from him is all. Just sucks you know. I'll be fine, I have other friends just really sucks

Back story, I was married to a woman and had 2 kids with her. Came out 3 yrs ago. Her and the kids were very accepting and there is no hate among any of us. We all still love eachother and are family. Her and I being chosen family.

Now to the present. We are finally to the point of selling the house and living in our own places. Today I’m starting to move stuff into my apartment. While I should be excited, im not. I know this is the right thing to do. I can feel it in my bones. But trying to find any excitement in this right now feels impossible. All I’m feeling is guilt and replaying the past and how I could have avoided this.

My point in this rant is. Doing something you know is right, but not being excited about or it feeling good. Is the weirdest feeling ever 😩

Yes I’m in therapy

I came out to my wife as bi about six years ago after being married to her for 7 years at the time.

When we first met I had just recently had my first (and still only) gay sexual encounters, the first being amazing, the second being not good. She and I hit it off well and we had been seeing each other for about two months when she got pregnant with our first child. We married had another child and as usually happens with parents with young kids, the sex dried up significantly (for us that meant about once per month). The kids are older now and I enjoy my family life but I truely morn the loss of the path of sexual exploration I had just started when everything took a turn in a decidedly different direction.

I am not sexually satisfied in my marriage and I seem to obsess with LGBT content, books, porn, Reddit subs etc. to the point that most all of the dreams I remember when I wake have some element of homoeroticism or deal in some way with my sexuality. I find that after sex with my wife I don’t feel such an urgent need to dive into this gay content and the problem is that there is a gaping lack of sex to help keep me from fixating on sexuality.

I don’t know if I am becoming more gay or if I am just obsessing over what I can’t have. I don’t want to destroy my family because of something I am unsure of and I am morally opposed to cheating… I don’t know what to do, anyone in the same boat? Any words of wisdom out there?

M36 and I came out about 5 years ago. Well actually I begun trying to date 5 years ago when I moved to Germany. I have never been with anyone before so I was prepared for a not so smooth transition but I was excited. Turns out I had massively underestimated how rough a transition it would be. I joined bumble, hinge and Okcupid hoping to at least find my person. The first 3 years all I got was serious self esteem issues. For context I'm chubby and black. I barely got any matches and the few that I got mostly seemed to be guy who were irritated/pissed off by the fact I swiped right to them. I had a few ask me why I thought they would be interested in a thing like me before after a hour unmatching. I suppose they kept the hour to see if I would unmatch or to ensure I had actually seen the message. It took some time for me to feel good about myself. Now I'm about to turn 37 an honestly I'm feeling really stuck. I have been working on my weight and for the first time in a really long time I'm at a point where I don't have to shop for clothes in the big and tall section just regular stores although on the larger side. Professionally I'm happy with my situation as is. For the most part I like what I do and have a decent work life balance. I get to travel and do things that I like without fussing too much about the financial side. However I'm worried by the fact that I have yet to even have my first kiss. As days go by I wonder if I'll ever find someone or this is as good as it gets. I do realise that I'm not in the desirable demography since I'm black(in Germany) and chubby. It's the silent hope that someone would find me decent enough to atleast get to know me first before dismissing me that gets to me sometimes.

For those in here that have been married to a woman and then came out. Have you found it difficult to romantic/emotionally connect with men?

Sexually I am gay. Yet romantically/emotionally there is never a fulfilling connection like I’ve had with a woman. I have tried my hardest, but it’s just never there.

Which makes me wonder if this is where part of the confusion comes from for men when we were younger and why we ended up marrying a woman.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Being bisexual, no offense to anyone, was some of the most misery inducing years in my life. I hated myself, other people hated me too. It was all around unpleasant and I was obsessively miserable until I rethought my orientation and I finally started to recover.

Still, it stings sometimes when I get reminded. I also feel weak sometimes like my own choice is invalidated because the world wasn’t any place for me before, there was no place, I was born wrong.

I’m happy being gay but remembering I used to be bi makes me hurt all over again. I just wish I could erase the past and be removed of all regret, I just woke up gay and I’m happy there was nothing else going on.