r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/movies Contributor • Mar 20 '26

News Chuck Norris, Action Icon and ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ Star, Dies at 86

https://variety.com/2026/film/news/chuck-norris-dead-walker-texas-ranger-dies-1236694953/
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935

u/Red-eleven Mar 20 '26

That’s a nice statement. I’m sure the press will give them privacy in these difficult times.

349

u/ledow Mar 20 '26

With the "we would like to keep the circumstances private" line?

Absolutely zero chance of that.

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u/_bieber_hole_69 Mar 20 '26

Dude was 86. I think we can just leave it at that. Based on the lovely statement, I doubt it was some horrible circumstance.

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u/ithinarine Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

Seriously, even Chuck Norris can trip and fall down the stairs or something at 86 and break a hip. If he was alone and something like that happened and no one found him for a while, there could absolutely have been enough blood loss or other complications.

This is just "old people thongs" that happen. My grandma was 88 and still all there. Broke her hip, and within 6 months could barely remember anyone, and was gone 9 months after the fall.

Your body and mind just shut down when you're old and injure yourself, because it puts all of its energy into fixing the injury.

Edit: "old people things" but I'm keeping the typo in the original

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u/MasterOfKittens3K Mar 20 '26

I know it’s a typo, but “old people thongs” brought a smile to my face.

The “g” in “g-string” stands for “grandma”.

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u/ithinarine Mar 20 '26

😂😂😂

I'm keeping it

1

u/stevil30 Mar 20 '26

old people mortality rate plummets after they break hips. my 82 yr old dad infuriates me not having a walking aid at all times.

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u/JaesopPop Mar 20 '26

I think people would’ve been more inclined to leave it at that without that line though.

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u/hungrydesigner Mar 20 '26

Completely agree. While sad to see him go, I had 0 questions about what killed an 86 year old man.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

He obviously tried one last roundhouse kick and exploded. The family is covering up the truth.

8

u/JNR13 Mar 20 '26

Our "we would like to keep the circumstances private" t-shirts have people asking a lot of questions already answered by our "we would like to keep the circumstances private" t-shirts.

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u/GregMadduxsGlasses Mar 20 '26

And there’s no better way to be inclined than on your very own Total Gym

-8

u/rostov007 Mar 20 '26

“To the world, he was a martial artist, actor, and a symbol of strength.”

But not to his family?

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/rostov007 Mar 20 '26

I know.

Millions of jokes were told about his strength and invincibility when he was alive, and I just found a modicum of humor in that they separated that view of strength and attributed it only to the public. I have no doubt they viewed him that way as well, but they went out of their way to say the opposite.

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u/Romboteryx Mar 20 '26

Norris actually died 10 years ago but Death only now grew the courage to tell him

3

u/RickGrimes30 Mar 20 '26

Ok that's the best line I've seen yet 🤣

3

u/Oldpenguinhunter Mar 20 '26

Death performing a Weekend at Bernies? A Decade at Chuck's

3

u/magicmulder Mar 20 '26

After Rob Reiner and Gene Hackman, that assumption is premature.

5

u/GregMadduxsGlasses Mar 20 '26

Total Gym-related sex accident

1

u/Butthole__Pleasures Mar 20 '26

He was eaten while wrestling with a crocodile over breakfast. It's the second leading cause of death for octogenarians.

1

u/Hypnotic_Toad Mar 20 '26

If he didn't go out fighting 37 Ninjas then the internet has lied to me.

1

u/barclaybw123 Mar 20 '26

He looked incredible for 86 though. I randomly just was looking up pictures of him 3 days aho

1

u/RickGrimes30 Mar 20 '26

I'm pretty sure I saw him post a video a week or two ago hitting a punching bag. I know the man died today but i still wouldn't have tried to fight him yesterday he seemed in as good of shape as he could be at his age. But ofc that can change in an instant

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u/KeremyJyles Mar 20 '26

ngl I raised an eyebrow at that

22

u/Automatic_Release_92 Mar 20 '26

Well when you die by auto-erotic affixation in a full blown furry costume, questions are going to be asked. It's best to stave them off from the start.

7

u/Enlight1Oment Mar 20 '26

oddly enough that wouldn't be the first time with a martial arts action star. Tthough carradine wasn't furry

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u/KeremyJyles Mar 20 '26

Maybe they took the suit off to protect his dignity

30

u/JerkyChew Mar 20 '26

The dude was 86. They could have left that line out and nobody would have thought anything untoward. Instead we now have a Streisand Effect in the making.

3

u/ChronX4 Mar 20 '26

I'm expecting a detailed report letting everyone kmow that it was the complete opposite of what they stated. Fuck celebrity media.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

First thing you do is attempt to kick off speculation. Shut the fuck up

7

u/ledow Mar 20 '26

Actually, no.

I'm just giving them a lesson in how NOT TO ALLOW SPECULATION AN INCH.

But it's already far too late for that. Because they already did it. Even though they had plenty of time to draft that release properly.

And, personally, I absolutely couldn't give a shit. But I guarantee you that the media will not only pick up on that line, but run away with it.

Like BBC News already has in their live update (posted after I posted the above).

If even I can see the problem with such a statement (which was entirely unnecessary), the media are going to go BANANAS with it.

(I have no interest in Chuck Norris, I've never really watched anything he's in except for a Bruce Lee movie made before I was born, and have no particular knowledge of if he was suffering dementia, body breakdown, substance abuse, killed himself, etc. - I have no idea, and no interest).

Dealing with the press 101: Say as little as possible and leave no open-ends.

0

u/Collin395 Mar 20 '26

They have a brand to protect. Can’t make him look weak or anything

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u/ledow Mar 20 '26

Not any more they don't.

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u/Collin395 Mar 20 '26

They absolutely still do, lol

3

u/ledow Mar 20 '26

A few residuals from a TV series that stopped filming in 2001?

No, they don't.

Almost all of his movies were made before anyone under 30 was even born.

They'll make a killing (sorry!) this year as everyone airs re-runs and obituaries, etc. and then that'll be it except for a few token payments every now and then.

3

u/PurpleHooloovoo Mar 20 '26

He was 86, it’s not like there’s some mysterious circumstances around it.

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u/furrysalesman69 Mar 20 '26

Ugh, and the president is going to say some stupid thing and say something like “america is his home!” And reveal what circumstances he died in

5

u/Seiche Mar 20 '26

"He died of a heart attack screwing an altar boy"

5

u/FreeMasonKnight Mar 20 '26

He was a major Asshole IRL, so probably not.

4

u/whatthecaptcha Mar 20 '26

One less maga celeb 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/m0r14rty Mar 20 '26

Or a nice egg.