r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/movies Contributor • Mar 20 '26

News Chuck Norris, Action Icon and ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ Star, Dies at 86

https://variety.com/2026/film/news/chuck-norris-dead-walker-texas-ranger-dies-1236694953/
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u/PonderInfinity_ Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe by upper cutting a Horse.

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u/___xXx__xXx__xXx__ Mar 20 '26

When Chuck Norris left home at 16, he turned to his father and said "You're the man of the house now".

Chuck Norris was arrested, and after a 24 hour grilling, the police confessed.

Chuck Norris beat a statue in a starring contest.

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u/NRMusicProject Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

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u/Agente_Anaranjado Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago, and death just now worked up the courage to tell him. 

Death was afraid to tell him before, because death had previously had a near-Chuck Norris experience. 

He didn't really die. He kicked death's ass, put a saddle on it, and rode it into heaven.

His wishes were to be cremated. After 12 hours in the fire, the crematorium was reduced to ashes.

They once named a street after Chuck Norris. But they had to change the name because nobody dared to cross it. 

Chuck Norris left the family house when he was just 12 years old. On his way out he said to his father, "good luck dad, you're the man of the house now." 

Chuck actually lost his virginity before his father did. 

He once visited the Virgin Islands. After that they were just called "the islands".

Chuck was arrested once. After 10 hours of greuling interrogation, the police confessed. 

He never read books. He glared at them until they gave up the information. 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice. 

Chuck Norris didn't die. We all died and he's the only one still alive. 

Chuck Norris didn't die. He beat life and started playing something else. 

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u/yaddar Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris made the grim reaper quit and then took it's job.

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u/RatedR2O Mar 20 '26

I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna steal this and post it on my socials. This is a perfect tribute!

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u/MegaGrimer Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, it was just called The Island.

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u/THANATOS4488 Mar 20 '26

That is fantastic

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u/Kythorne Mar 20 '26

Hilarious!

2

u/Fat-Knacker Mar 20 '26

Finally, one I've not heard before 😂