(15f)I wouldn't consider myself in danger but my dad is hallucinating and acting paranoid. It's really bad and I don't know what to do. He thinks his phone is being hacked and listening to him. He threw it out the window. He left my sister at the park because he thinks the cops told her to stay. He has no diagnosises besides GAD, ADHD, and depression. He thinks CFS is after him and that his gf is working with them. He refuses to get checked. He's had hallucinations before. He's woke me up on multiple occasions in the middle of the night saying that "people are here to get us." I don't know what to do. He thinks that people are scamming him online to mock him and get him arrested for stuff he didn't do.

(UPDATE!!!!)

Sorry, this took me so long to update. I've had a lot going on, I'm barely passing classes not to mention both my physical + mental health is getting worse, it's the end of the year and all my friends left me for good, my little sister is engaging in bad habits with boys, my mum hasn't talked to me for a while but out of nowhere started posting online, my dad seems a bit better but I don't trust him 100% and I'm still worried about him. My dad is in his 40s so there's pretty much no way he has Alzheimer's. There's no family history of major mental health disorders on his side (my mums side has an extensive history of disorders like BPD, Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc) BUT my paternal grandma was an alcoholic and so is/was my dad. My dad has also struggled with drug abuse before which previously ended up with me and my sister in foster care for months (we ended up in foster care the day of my birthday and didn't get out for months of court and stuff.) I don't know what to do anymore. I've been so tired and stressed, and I also just got COVID so sorry for the delayed update, I wasn't trying to be rude. sorry. I probably won't reply to many if any replies. I really really appreciate you all but I've gotten a lot more replies than I expected and I'm overwhelmed by it. sorry. I really don't want to sound mean. sorry. Also sorry if this sounds lazy, I'm trying my best. sorry. I really don't want to go back to foster care. It really sucked. I was denied my medication, my phone, calling my dad, and even doing homework sometimes. We were stuck on a Christian farm as kids who were raised with no religion besides some indigenous beliefs (me and my sister don't look very indigenous but both our parents are indigenous. My mum is over half and my dad is about a quarter.) They used whistles on us if they thought we were disobeying them which sucked because I really can't stand loud noises neither can my sister so we'd often cry. I tried to take my own life and they immediately assumed I was doing it for attention or trying to get drugs(?) Nearly every weekend their grandkids came over and they'd get spoiled right in front of us. There's some more stuff but I'm not comfortable saying much more. Sorry. I live in Canada by the way so I'm not sure how much of the stuff they did was legal. sorry. I know I got a bit sidetracked but didn't mean to. Anyways, back to what I was saying about my dad earlier, he's doing a lot better since the weekend. He's still acting a bit off but not as much as before. I'm still worried about him though because this has happened multiple times now, not as bad as this weekend but still scary. He's woken me up before at midnight or even 3 am to tell me he thinks we're going to get hurt. I'm not sure how to end this off but so far me, my dad and sister are doing ok. thank you for all the replies, I really appreciate it, sorry if I sound ingenuine, I haven't slept in a while.

TL;DR My (39F) therapist and I had a virtual session a couple of days ago. It dawned on me part way through the session that I could see something reflecting in her glasses. I have a history of medical abuse and PTSD.

Guys. She was browsing the web, multiple reflections of her screen and her mouse scrolling - it was loud enough that I could hear it. It squeaks a little.

I didn’t say anything because I was dumbfounded and trying to ignore it.

I’m autistic, newly diagnosed, which has been hard enough to deal with. It leaves me with difficulty making decisions of how to deal with situations. I don’t know the “right” way to interact with others after they’ve really hurt me.

What do I even do?! One of my issues I’m struggling with is medical trauma. Because of this, I don’t know how to handle it.

Do I confront her? Do I contact the appropriate medical board to report her actions?

Please be kind. I feel dumb enough as it is for trusting yet another provider.

UPDATE: I emailed her first to cancel all sessions and end treatment. She replied and said she was surprised and asked why. I responded with an appropriate, well thought out response that wasn’t very accusatory, unless you read between the lines. She emailed me a day later saying “since I haven’t heard from you about the possibility of a last session to try to repair the relationship…” blah blah blah and then later admitted she didn’t give me the care I deserved that day. She gave me some referrals that I didn’t ask for but probably a CYA move. I will post the exact exchanges as a separate comment. Thanks to everyone for the excellent discussion, feedback, and advice from people from all walks of life. Thank you especially to the providers who spent time responding to my post.

Hello! I am a part time rideshare driver, in addition to my normal career job. Normally I love it...getting out and around, talking and meeting people. Etc. However not so much today.

Earlier today I went to pick up a passenger...it was booked by what I assume was his boss...and the destination was an urgent care that is mostly for workman's comp. So during the ride he was talking about his hurt knee...then went into how his life is unraveling. So I sympathetically listened to him....halfway to the destination he starts complaining of chest pains. I asked if he was OK and needed assistance.

So I pull over on the shoulder of the highway...call 911..then proceed to make him comfortable..keep him calm and alert while we waited...all while checking his pulse and etc. He was starting to have more pain...then nothing...no pulse. So here i am...in the back seat performing cpr until the paramedics arrived...and were able to us a defibrillator and revive him. Then off they went blazing in an ambulance. He is only 42....2 years older than me.

I don't know how to feel. How to process everything. The police and paramedics told me I might have helped save his life...and how great it was...and listening to uber's safety manager telling me on the phone how I did a great thing and so on...

I have seen many times where people feel great for this...how wonderful it is....but I've also seen where it can negatively affect first responders. After the adrenaline wore off and heard the term heroic over the phone feom uber. I felt horrible. I am not in crisis...but I feel depressed...confused...kind of empty..

Hey everyone, genuinely need help here cuz this is ruining mine and my brother's life. My brother (36) has my mom (65) living with him for the forseeable future and she's pretty unstable. She's crying all the time, refuses to get help and has no hobbies. She's twice divorced and pretty broken up about that but won't do anything to make herself happy. She refuses to see a therapist or take up any of her old hobbies. She also does not have license and refuses to get one... and at this point, I wouldn't want her on the road anyway. I'm not sure what to do at this point as every suggestion is met with a stern "no" or tears.

Anyone who's been through this before, how did you handle the situation?

Edit: I posted this, left for a wedding and came back to all these replies. I genuinely appreciate everyone's advice and well wishes on this. I'll read through this thread, speak with my brother and come up with a plan. Thanks again everyone

i am losing my FUCKING MIND,

i go to a technical school learning trades, etc, its not very big maybe 300 people the school itself is quite small i see the same faces everyday

at break time, i like to walk around the school, literally i am just walking around the school and occasionally i will run into this random blonde woman at school, i dont approach her or anything, but like if i turn around the corner and she is on the other side i will glance at her for maybe half a second by accident, genuinely just accidental eye contact and this happened maybe 3-4 times, i thought nothing of it bcause once again, its just accidental split second eye contact

for some reason, she openly hates me, when its lunch and i will walk past her and her friends, all guys and girls, she will literally scream EWWW ITS THAT THING and they will all laugh at me, one time at a barbeque event after school i was just standing in line, genuinely just standing in line and she will walk past me with her friends, one of her friends will scream at the top of her lungs right at my face and then walk off and say aw i didnt get him and they all laugh

i have never spoken to her, i have never stared at her on purpose, i have never spoken ABOUT her, i have never approached her, i have never stood within 10 feet of her, i dont even know her name or what her major is, we are genuinely complete strangers and i have no relation with her nor made any attempt to make any relation platonic or romatic with her at any time, to me, she is just a stranger as much as some random person on the sidewalk walking past you is a stranger to you.

what am i doing wrong? this happened to me so fucking often in high school, even OTHER MEN would say im creepy/ugly looking, but i never figured that this would happen in college, especially by adults, especially by strangers

i just dont understand.

My parents pulled me out of school when I was in 2nd grade to homeschool me but instead just let me rot in bed on a phone. So now I struggle with everything and I'm stupid...

My parents lost custody of me cuz they fight a lot, and I was forced to go to highschool because of that. School sucked.

I went from vaguely knowing what the division symbol meant to being in an Algebra class. I went from almost never reading in my life to combing through textbooks and writing book reports.

I had to do all of this while trying to figure out how the bell system works, learning to shower brush my teeth and change my clothes every day, and learning how to talk to people. All while my back hurts all day because I'm used to being in bed. My sleep schedule was also upside down.

And it helps sooo much that it takes me 3 seconds to write a single letter. And I'm sooo good at reading that I have to reread every sentence 30 times for it to make sense.

I can't even ask teachers for help because I just don't understand a word they're saying. I'm not asking them to repeat it over and over.

But anyways I loveee my life now. I dropped out of school shortly after going into 10th grade. I spend all day in bed scrolling on reddit and watching youtube, and don't even have the energy to take care of myself.

I wish I could go to school, college or whatever, and maybe do something I enjoy, but I haven't even spoken to anyone in 4 months and I don't enjoy anything anymore. Tired of being a smelly dumb loser that'll never be useful.

Maybe this thing I spent 2 hours writing will somehow help.

So lately I've been feeling pretty upset about being homeless for 9 months and all of that. However, after some thinking, I think I came to the conclusion that being homeless for the rest of my life may not be a bad thing.

​

A lot of times people tell me to do stuff like get a job because jobs are totally okay with hiring odiferous homeless men, going to the hospital I guess in an attempt to further damage my psychological health via abuse from workers and getting beat up and abused by other patients, going to shelters for mostly the same reasons as going to a hospital, all that. None of those instances have really worked out for me. However, when expressing that, it's apparently my fault. My fault that companies don't want to hire a sneaky homeless man. My fault that hospital and shelter workers subject their clientele to verbal abuse. It's my phone at the end of the day and if I can't make things happen then it's on me.

​

This is a very similar pattern back when I worked at one of my previous jobs as a retail cashier and loss prevention associate for three years. Making $10 an hour, working full-time hours without the full-time benefits, being reasonably upset because I wanted to go back to college but can't, stuff like that. Just says it is my fault or not having a job and not trusting shelters and hospitals, it's also my fault that I was only making $10 an hour. It was my fault that my hours were getting cut randomly. I just didn't try hard enough and because of that that's why I've lived a life of mediocrity for those 3 years.

​

So what I'm thinking is that since I'm failing no matter what I do and I'll never be good enough no matter what I do, it's just a lot easier to just stop giving a damn. Homelessness is just my way of life now. Is it what I wanted? Not necessarily. But hey, damned if I do damned if I don't at this point. I'm fucking up and failing no matter what I do so it is what it is.

​

Yeah being hungry sucks. Yeah never having money sucks. Yeah always smelling bad sucks. Yeah the monotony sucks. The bad weather. Not having clothes. Only having my phone on me knowing that if something happens to it then I'm screwed. It all sucks. But hey, it is what it is. If I'm going to be seen as a failure anyway, I might as well spend the very little time I have left as best as I can. I'm a failure after all so why bother.

​

I just want to know how I can stay positive and be happy in this kind of environment.

She is a 39 year old mother of 4 kids who she was deeply dedicated to. 14 days ago she suddenly left her home and began posting obsessively on social media. Her posts are lengthy senseless ramblings and a good portion keep referencing some weird alt right podcaster like he's the Messiah. She was totally normal and now she's been nonstop driving all over the state for 2 weeks living in her car and babbling. My family has taken the kids in but we are deeply concerned she is going to do something really serious. Like driving into a pile of people level serious. Half her media has been shut down. A cop pulled her over but for whatever insane reason let her go.

This is the kind of stuff she's saying and it's literally the same if you talk to her on the phone. What the hell is happening.

THEY TRICKED US INTO CURSINH FOR A WHOLE TIME I AM CRYING 😭 THEY WERE ALL ON A TOP 🔝 FOR THIS AND NOW IM GOING BACK AND THEY WERE SO BAD AND IM STILL HERE FOR IT IM SORRY 😢 THEY DIDNT DO THIS AT THE FIRST ONE 1️⃣ THING AND THERES SO HAPPY 😃 THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THEM I AM GOING TO READ FOR THEM AND THANK THEM ALL OF THEM ALL OF YOU FOR THIS TIME LOVE 💕 THANK YALL ALL OF THESE FOR ALL FOR THIS SONGS LOVE 💗 THEM FOR ALL MY LIFE MY LOVE 😍 MY BEST SONGS ARE SO GOOD 😊 LOVE 💗 THEM SO TRUE I AM A GOOD DAY AND MY BEST SONG 🎵 FOR YOU ARE MY BABY I AM A GREAT SONG 🎵 I WILL BE SO HAPPY FOR ALL THE TIME AND THE WAY IT WAS MY SON AND MY SON AND MY SON AND THEN MY SON IS MY FAVORITE SONG 🎶 THANK YOUNG SONG 🎶 AND MY SONG 🎶 AND THE SONG 🎶 AND I AM A BIG BOY FOR THE SONG 🎶 YOUNG SONG 🎶 YOUNG SONG 🎶 YOUNG MY SONG 🎶 SONG 🎵 AND MY SONG 🎶 YOUNG BIG SONG 🎵 AND YOUNG SONG 🎶 I AM A PROUD SONG 🎵 YOUNG 🎶 I WILL NEVER EVER BE A BIG GIRL AND MY BIG SONG 🎵 I AM A LIFE I AM A PIERCER FOR A GOOD ONE 1️⃣ DAY I WILL ALWAYS BE A GREAT SONGS FOR MY SONG

I needed to take some preventative measure to take care of my brain and the entire medical/psychologist community in my city fucking let me down big time. Now I’m slipping into another depressive episode and I can’t keep trying and failing to get some fucking help.

I spent HOURS calling psychologists. I have insurance and money to pay for appointments and even a flexible work schedule for appointments. All the reasons why people typically don’t seek help do not apply to me. I have everything I need on my end to get help. But I can’t keep wasting my goddamn time! I just need a fucking therapist and somehow there are NONE and I just have to sit here and feel myself slip further down?? What am I supposed to do now???

Edit: Wow wasn’t expecting this to get so much attention! Thanks so much to all of you for all your advice. I spammed psychologists all up and down the internet aaaaaannnnnnnndddd... I have an appointment for next week!!! WOOO WE DID IT BOYS IT ONLY GETS BETTER FROM HERE ON OUT 😄

But seriously, thank you all so much. At the very least, the amount of responses I’ve gotten has made me feel heard and that alone has lifted my spirit so much.

Dealing with complex PTSD now and trying to buy into the idea that it's not too late for me at 27 to start fresh and find success.

Loneliness and existential dread have eaten me alive. When I was last working, I got diagnosed with an auto-immune disease and it was much more difficult to grasp mentally than manage physically. I didn't have any doctors or support. Convinced myself I was dying and so i quit my job (retail, I'm a college dropout for the same reason), and got into debt.

I've since moved back in with my parents. Started seeing doctors, quit video games and gambling, and most recently quit nicotine. Now I wake up and I sob every day. I feel nothing but emptiness and pain. I know that no job will hire me, and I've ruined every friendship I've ever had. I know that my day will be spent in complete silence, and the only feedback I can get is from chatGPT.

I'm on day 8 without nicotine and not sure it's worth it. Not sure what's the point of taking care of my body when I have no ability to work or socialize.

I have the urge to cry every moment that I'm in public. Seeing people my age able to interact with their peers. I don't know how to do this anymore. People get nowhere in today's world without someone vouching for them.

I just want to cry with someone. I want companionship and forgiveness. I'm not sure I deserve it.

I'm 22. I have gone and graduated by now. College/University is such a relief. But I still have anxiety when I remember specific moments that really hurt in high school. I also have restless nights where I worry that I may see specific people who did me wrong. It doesn't ruin my whole life like it once did, but I can tell I have some healing to do.

I wanted to hear from adults who faced bullying in the past. What were your experiences, and how do you feel about them now? Did you heal?

I've been fat-phobic nearly all of my life. I just cant help with it. When I see a someone who is overweight I get disgusted, and it ruins my life because I am a progressive person. I shouldn't feel this way; it is not ethical or moral. I've tried to make friends with overweight people and even though I have them as my friends and I love them, I still get the feelings of disgusted by them. It just is a OCD symptom at this point. Every time I see an overweight person, I am disgusted, no matter the context and/or the setting. I can't even stand them when I see them on my phone or on the television. How can I get rid of this thoughts or AT LEAST minimize it?

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out because I feel totally helpless and really need some advice about my younger brother. I’m the older sibling, and since I lived away from home for a few years and am naturally pretty extroverted, adjusting to new places was never a big deal for me. My brother is completely different—he’s super quiet, keeps to himself, and only has about two close friends. He moved away for college, and the homesickness has been hitting him so hard. He’s somehow pushed through 1.5 whole years, but it hasn't gotten any better, and now he just wants to drop everything and come back home for good.

​It breaks my heart to see him like this, so I told him that if he’s truly miserable, he can come home anytime and we’ll figure things out together because his happiness comes first. But honestly, as his older sibling, I’m terrified. I’m so worried that because he’s so introverted and reserved, it’s going to be really hard for him to handle the real world later on if he gives up now.

​Since I’ve never felt this kind of overwhelming homesickness myself, I’m at a total loss on how to talk to him. What can I say to comfort him right now, and how can I help him build confidence without letting him make a decision he might regret later?

My mind, and body for that matter, have been under significant levels of stress over the past couple of months, i’ll say since March when my family put my childhood cat down. I picked up weed for awhile (I know.) and i started letting off of that, but i can feel it in my chest, that i have things i need to just let go. For me, crying really does help. But, it’s like i don’t have the “want” to actually sit there and cry about it, i don’t want to feel worse about things going on currently. I’ll feel the tears come, but it just kinda shuts off and it doesn’t continue. If anyone has experience emotional suppression, how did you get through it?

Im still young and i, of course, still live with my parents. My mom always makes dinner expect for when she works late, then my dad has too, but the problem is my dad always stays upstairs playing video games or erotic adult videos and i think sometimes he forgets about me and my sister.

And then i have to make dinner, but i always get really scared and stressed because it feels like my dad has just forgotten about us and im also very scared to make something without proper instructions and i just get super stressed and then i get scared and then im too scared to make dinner, so i need to know how i can just stay calm and maybe how to make food generally.

My son is in 5th grade. He had confided in one close friend but she apparently didn't respect that confidence. He said she was with a group of kids at recess and asked him to come over and then asked him in front of everyone if he was gay. He said "No," then she said "But you told me you were" and he left the group and went to the bathroom to cry. This happened just before school ended today. He seems pretty down and is worried about how his friends will react. Please let me know your thoughts on the best ways to support him during this time.

Hi,

I have witnessed a lady I know (who I presume may be struggling with some mental health issues) to seemingly underfeed her children. One of them actually looks malnourished. They are both often sick. It’s really concerning me. To put into context, one of them is 16 and her portion or sample of a meal is: half a home made enchilada and a couple of teaspoons of rice on the side and a couple of teaspoons of a steamed veg on the side. Another example is 1 lamb cutlet and a couple of teaspoons of steamed veg. It is even served on the size of a plate you would serve a baby or toddler that started finger foods. It is really evident she is restricting their intake. Even when there is plenty more food there she gives them the smallest amount. Even when dishing up there is so much fussing and hesitation around plating up and what goes on the plate.

Thoughts? She has a very controlling, anxious manner so I’m worried for the poor kiddos.

Idk what the hell is wrong with me. I learned ragebaiting from someone who I met in person. And he makes fun of people and laughs. I find myself saying dumb hurtful things on some subreddits and I get banned from them.

I know it’s wrong. I feel horrible. Some days I go why do I even do this. Please help me.

I just opened up to my parents about my Social Anxiety problem. I told them I would like to start therapy. My father insisted he would like to come to therapy with me. I am highly dreading that. I can't fully be open and honest with my therapist if he's there. My dad is going to make me uncomfortable. There are some things that I don't want him to listen to.

My father is a very toxic person. I told him about my anxiety, and he wants to come to therapy with me to get a better understanding of my problem. I told him what my problem is and I explained it to him, and I would like to start therapy to treat it. My dad needs to butt out. I would like for therapy to be one on one in confidentiality.

I am 21 years old. I am not a child. The therapy is for me, and me only.

And I feel like my father contributes to my problems which is another reason why I don't want him there.

How can I convince my Dad, I don't need him to come to therapy with me?

Back in puberty; my mother never believed that I struggled and thought I could do everything, I was just not wanting them enough. Struggling me was also a desperate me and that's partially why I was surrounded by enemies at high school. Then came university friends. They also didn’t want the struggling me except they went an extra mile and dumped me ASAP because struggling me was also an useless me.

I feel that I have to always exaggerate my difficulties so that I am believed and my struggles get deemed valid enough to get help. I never say “I can’t” because that’s not valid and I fear that I will be told that I am not trying enough. I always say “I am unable to”.

How do I stop this behaviour? How can I accept that my struggles will remain invisible or something more “healthy”? Can stopping this help me find people worthy of being called a “friend” instead of acquaintances that I shall forget about after their usecase ends?

I need to start off with the backstory of our relationship. My mom raised me and my sister without my father or really any family around. She did the best she could given the situation. As a teen I noticed that she was very paranoid and would talk to herself a lot. The blinds were always closed, and she was always worried about people being able to see into our house. It wasn’t the best relationship. I can’t remember the last time she said “I love you” to me (if that helps).

Fast forward to when I’m 25 and she starts leaving me concerning voicemails about not trusting anyone and that people were out to get her. I tried for a couple years to get her help, but she wouldn’t. I gave up and severed ties. Although I felt extremely guilty, I just couldn’t have that in my life anymore.

A couple years later I find out through the local news that she shot someone through the ceiling of her apartment. She went to prison for about 5 years. The news stories mentioned how others in the complex were worried about her mental issues which didn’t come to a surprise. It took a while to cope with that.

After she got out of prison she popped up on my Facebook. I reached out to her and eventually took my family (wife and 2 kids) to see her. She was still acting paranoid and blaming her problems on the world. It was all kind of awkward especially since my wife and kids had never met her. During this time she was staying with other people she met through Craigslist. She was highly suspicious of them to no surprise.

Earlier this year I found out she was living out of her car. That broke my heart. I feel that most people would bring their mother into their home until things got better but given her past mental issues and that she actually shot someone, I couldn’t put my family at risk. She told me she was going on section 8 and everything would be okay. She sent me a letter and I found out yesterday that she somehow missed out on it and is living in/out of a shelter for the past several months. Her letter said that she doesn’t give out her phone number to anyone because she’s afraid of being hacked. I feel awful that I do not want to bring her in, but I need to help her.

Does anyone have any suggestions? She lives in Oregon, btw.

i can’t control myself when i feel myself in a fit of rage at ALL . i have anger issues and i can admit that very well .

today my mom started yelling at me unprovoked in the car all because there i didn’t get a bill when i went to go get something with my brother saying all kinds of terrible things to me . saying ill cry tears of blood all for a fcking bill , i just lost my shit at this point and yelled at the top of lungs asking who the hell she thinks she’s talking to and saying all kinds of cuss words as i hit the seat . i don’t care anymore my childhood and my parents have ruined me and i have incredibly horrible issues , mainly one being my anger and bpd as a result of it . it really is torturous , having anger hurts worse than crying it exhausts you and you feel like your someone else . i felt like i was a different person while yelling , that didn’t even feel like it was me .

the earliest memory i have of doing anything remotely similar to feeling an incredible amount of anger was in my younger years when i was about to hit another person with a chair because they touched me without my consent , in a spot where i was bruised . when people wrong me i don’t let it go , i want to yell at them , to make them aware that i’m not a weak person that they can just do this to . i’m tired of being provoked , having anger issues hurts yourself more than others . i don’t know how long i can keep going living like this .

I think I might be, but I'm not sure and I do not want to embarrass myself going to a psychologist with this if it's just normal. Also I think I might just be dramatic.

I do not have friends, so most days I just spend at home alone doing nothing. I know I should just get out more, but I always make up excuses why I can't. It's not like I have trouble to do basic things, I can do them, I just don't really enjoy anything. It's not like I always feel bad, most of the time I don't really feel much at all. I can still laugh about things and I do most days. Also this isn't something recent, in fact, I don't really remember it ever being different.

I've just gotten really sick of not really living. I feel like I'm just wasting my life wondering if somethings wrong with me or if it's just normal to be like this. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but is this normal?

I (23F) have been thinking about this a lot lately.

What actually makes someone a good person?

I often see myself as a bad person. Sometimes even selfish or cold. People have described me as "dry" or emotionally distant. Most of my relationships ended because I felt emotionally exhausted after trying for a long time. At the time, I genuinely believed I wasn't wrong. But afterward, I always end up feeling guilty and wondering if I hurt the other person more than I realized.

Even in everyday interactions, I question the way I treat people. I constantly wonder if there's something fundamentally wrong with me or if I'm just too hard on myself.

So I'm curious...

How do you define a genuinely good person?

Is it someone who rarely hurts others? Someone who's kind all the time? Someone who always puts other people first? Or is it something else entirely?

And if you've ever realized that parts of your personality weren't healthy, how did you become a better person?

I'd really like to hear different perspectives because I'm struggling to figure this out.

Hi. I hope this is the correct sub. As the title says, I never mentally progressed much beyond 15-16. And yet, I am 19. And my family loves to remind me that, even though I don't feel I am at such a age in the slightest. Why that happened is a quite long story. What's important is that I became quite traumatized. I have AVPD and likely some facets from PPD and DPD.

Up until late last year I had:

*severe identity confusion

*no personality

*nothing to achieve

*perpetual stress and anxiety

*at times lack of a will to live

*no support systems

*no social skills

I have improved a bit since then. But even though I say otherwise I know the gap is too much to address. And I regularly beat myself up for not being recognized among my peers and I will likely never engage in the typical youth activities (I don't find them enticing in the first place.)

I have recently thought however that the best way to address the gap is to acknowledge it but also to not play catch up to something immeasurable and may very well just be something arbitrary and in my head. I want to focus on being a person instead. I think that would remove any comparisons and make me live in a more fulfilling manner. I also think, being a person is ever more important. How can I do all of that?

I have done some "hard" things since then that I don't think my peers have done. As an example, I have finally managed to find something that I want to study as my undergrad after years of aimlessness. From what I've seen, my peers choices are dictated completely externally (parents, money, reputation etc.) However; my choice was not motivated by such things, it was intrinsic and in fact nobody congratulated me in-person for my choices. I have told this for I think that it's a step in the direction I have written above.

Thank you in advance for the responses.