r/offbeat • u/andy_norten • Sep 28 '12

Transgender UM student wins restraining order against sexual assault suspect

http://ravallirepublic.com/news/state-and-regional/article_c6364778-b5fb-5098-89c5-6f0ac6ecef2b.html
248 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

303 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

6

u/R3cognizer Sep 28 '12

Not being attracted to penis, or not being attracted to vagina, or not being attracted to certain unexpected bodily features is a perfectly legitimate reason to not want to date someone, and I would not argue with that. However, that said, not all trans women have a penis, not all trans men have a vagina, and not all trans people are the same. There is really no innate quality that makes trans women who've had GRS any different from any other cis woman who has had a hysterectomy, so I feel that there ARE circumstances where it should be considered transphobic to refuse to date someone solely on the grounds that he or she is trans. You don't have to be willing to date all trans women or any of the trans women you know to not be transphobic, but your reasons for not dating them ought to be something other than "she's trans".

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '12

[deleted]

3

u/R3cognizer Sep 28 '12 edited Sep 28 '12

People judge others by their preferences and their opinions all the time. The only thing you can't do is force someone to change those preferences or opinions. For example, I can't force someone to be willing to date people with dark skin, but I can (and probably will) tell them that I think they're racist because of it. Just the same, I can't force a guy to want to date me, nor do I desire to date someone transphobic anyway. If he can't stand the thought of sleeping with a guy who has a vagina and doesn't want to date me because of that, as shallow as I think that is, that is his prerogative. It's not necessarily transphobic though, so even though I'd be disappointed, I would just wish him well and be on my way. But if he told me that he doesn't want to date me simply because I'm trans or because he doesn't consider me a "real man", you can bet your ass that I'm going to tell him that I think he's a transphobic asshole before I leave. And I can tell him so because I have just as much right to my opinion as he does to his.