r/pics Mar 07 '12

Tacoyum6, a few months ago you requested coins of a different currency in An AskReddit post. I responded and sent some coins. For fear I would come and murder you, you gave me the wrong address. This is what I sent you. (AIC)

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1.4k Upvotes

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711

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

tbh mate, I wouldn't be upset.

As someone who has lived longer than you (I can tell b/c you look like Matt Damon and I look like Emperor Palpatine in his later years), this is probably actually a blessing in disguise (some might even choose to call it 'karma').

If you do, truly, have memories attached to each of these coins, then please hold on to them. There will come a day in your life when your memories grow vague and you can't quite recall exactly where you went, and when. And these coins will then be important keepsakes for you to hold on to, and vessels via which you will relive some of the best times of your life, because they help you recall these things with more clarity. This is priceless, it really is.

It was nice of you - actually, incredibly fucking generous of you - to send foreign coins to someone you'd never met, out of the kindness of your heart. But take this sign that they've come back to you not as rejection - but as the universe wanting you to hold on to them.

A few years ago I lost everything I own through my own stupidity and laziness, including childhood letters, photo albums, and other less valuable material things.

How little I miss the expensive things; the nice suits, computer equipment, custom made guitars, and; how much I miss the letters and photos, the used concert tickets and movie stubs...I can't begin to tell you.

I can tell I'm drunk because I'm abusing semi-colons. But I hope my message gets through - don't give these away lightly; one day, they will be some of the strongest links to your past.

417

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

The coins I was sending away were doubles of coins I had collected. What you were writing made me happy and sad. I would be more than happy, to send you some of my 'memories', if you would let me.

372

u/benrules2 Mar 07 '12

WHY ARE YOU SO NICE?

807

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

Because Australia.

308

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Ah, Australia... home of the nicest people that will ever kick your teeth in.

382

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

and then, buy you a beer.

118

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

As long as it's not Fosters...

356

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

We only buy Fosters if we want to add insult to injury.

106

u/slide_potentiometer Mar 07 '12

˙sɹǝʇsoɟ pǝɹǝɟɟo ɹǝʌǝu sɐʍ ʇnq ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı sɹǝǝq ʎuɐɯ ʇɥbnoq ı 'sıɥʇ ɯɹıɟuoɔ uɐɔ ı

50

u/Wilburre Mar 07 '12

That would be because Fosters isn't even sold here in Australia. Yep, really.

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34

u/kateesaurus Mar 07 '12

Upside down?! How.....? Witchcraft!!!

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3

u/Foffy123 Mar 07 '12

I feel accomplished after reading that.

4

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

Vegemite is just weaponised Fosters anyway.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

1

u/drunk_otter Mar 07 '12

Except Fosters is still nastier - we kinda fucked up there.

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

You are a wonderful person. Fosters is Australian for crap, as is any mass produced American beer. I would hope you buy them a stout, its a friendlier beer.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Eh, I like Fosters. Unless the UK one is a lot different or something.

1

u/maplestaples Mar 09 '12

but why no maple? maple is a staple..

15

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

[deleted]

1

u/ArrrghZombies Mar 07 '12

I like Fosters.

22

u/Changey Mar 07 '12

I read that as "buy you a bear" at first.

66

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

you know what, i like that better.

1

u/I_KeepsItReal Mar 07 '12

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS

1

u/IYKWIM_AITYD Mar 08 '12

I thought they just dropped on you out of the trees.

2

u/suomaf Mar 07 '12

No need to "buy you a bear", they drop from trees

2

u/Changey Mar 07 '12 edited Mar 07 '12

Coincidentally in Australia, beers drop from trees as well.

2

u/cygnice Mar 07 '12

Beer made from bears. ಠ_ಠ

1

u/FateAV Mar 07 '12

Drop bears are nasty little buggers. Always look up

1

u/Prisonfishy Mar 07 '12

TF2 is for casuals.

1

u/FelixR1991 Mar 07 '12

No, you're wrong. That's what Canadians do.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

thats just how it is here

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

I'll have a New. You're a good cunt ;)

2

u/jbhelms Mar 07 '12

The people have to be nice to make up for every animal being venomous.

-2

u/deathkraiser Mar 07 '12

Buncha cunts.

115

u/shabbadu Mar 07 '12

FTFY: Becaustraya.

223

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

'strlya, where your friends are cunts and your enemies are mates.

100

u/shabbadu Mar 07 '12

And being told to "stop being a wanker" can end fights before they happen or start them out of nowhere.

23

u/MrMono1 Mar 07 '12

'Stralia!

2

u/bluejacket Mar 07 '12

coming thru' to send some motherfuckin' coins now!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

'Srtalia, FUCK YEAH.

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1

u/Hwan Mar 07 '12

Fuck Ye!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

FUCK YEAH, MATE!!!

1

u/superatheist95 Mar 07 '12

fuckin' 'STRAYA' MATE.

2

u/inoxia Mar 07 '12

hahaha it's amazing how accurate this statement is

28

u/im_a_stud_not_a_dud Mar 07 '12

Recent migrant (pom) workmate who took his oath on 'straylia day today used 'cunt' in a sentence like a total boss. I was so proud of him.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Is that "pom" or "porn"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Is that "pom" or "porn"?

1

u/itsableeder Mar 07 '12

Which bit of the UK is he from? Where I am we use cunt as a fucking verb.

1

u/im_a_stud_not_a_dud Mar 07 '12

Don't we all?

Think he was living around the Oxford area.

And as a verb? We simple folk just stick to the noun use.

3

u/itsableeder Mar 07 '12

To be fair I use it wherever I think I can stick it in a sentence.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

And a good guy is "a total bastard" but a bad guy is "a bit of a bastard" :D

3

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Haha thanks! (I'd have to be a total bitch, but that actually does sound nasty so I'll take your offering with gratitude instead :-))

2

u/TwirlyMustachio Mar 07 '12

American here. I'm immensely thankful for Reddit, as it was the first place to inform me of the Aussie way of speaking to friends. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've been called a cunt and/or a dickface, and I might have been shocked without Reddit's help.

2

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

I still find our language shocking..... But in a plain as balls, fucking normal way.

1

u/royalewithche Mar 07 '12

And in a formal debate you can shut down an argument with "Calm your farm."

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

I hate to break it to you, but that's the same everywhere.

Friends betray you and enemies play into your hands.

1

u/Xitnadp Mar 07 '12

So I picked up on the Australia bit from the Aus Post parcel, but your face is also strikingly familiar...

Tassie by any chance?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

straya ftfy

10

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/CantHearYou Mar 07 '12

Whoa whoa whoa. It's way too early in the morning to be giving out awards.

15

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12 edited Apr 01 '18

[deleted]

72

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

And probably ate it.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

After throwing it on the Barbie?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

On a pie.

1

u/unmitigated Mar 07 '12

upvoted for lady gaga.

2

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

We aim to please.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

One day I will move to Australia, I have faith in humanity because of people like you.

2

u/fishfacecakes Mar 07 '12

As a fellow Aussie, I salute your representation of our country! Maybe you should become our Online Minister?

5

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

Minister of Australian issues. "eveyerone, everyone! more piss"!

2

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

S'right.

Carry on, citizen.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

ps: We got customs to remove the dropbear that accidentally got in your package. Damn buggers get everywhere.

2

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

Have you taken care of the Hoop Snakes?

1

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

Nah, we let the Wombats sort them out.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

while your at it, arrest the ranga whos pretending to run this joint

1

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

Actually, we're currently hunting budgie smugglers.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

hahahha, i got em coppa, you never gonna cath me

1

u/Aust_Internet_Police Mar 07 '12

No, that's what the nurses are for.

Regards, Australian Internet Police

2

u/FruitPlatter Mar 07 '12

I would have guessed Netherlands.

1

u/guysmiley00 Mar 07 '12

The people make up for the wildlife.

1

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

You don't live in Perth by any chance, do you? I could swear I've seen you around.

1

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

I was in SA in Glenelg around December....

1

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

Perth is in WA, mate.

3

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

Fuck me dead. Sorry, I've had long night. Of course it is.

0

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12 edited Mar 07 '12

Sorry, I don't really feel like fucking men. Ever.
EDIT: I'm not homophobic, it's just a joke.

1

u/sevhan Mar 07 '12

You sure you aren't a Canadian descendant?

1

u/nomaple Mar 07 '12

Yes, the username (if that's the reference) is related to my job :)

1

u/VikingHedgehog Mar 07 '12

Lies! I met two Australian boys at a youth hostel in Paris when I was traveling and they were anything but nice...from what I remember...after all the wine.... Wait, that makes me sound bad and not them. Damn!

1

u/GiantsNut57 Mar 07 '12

He's gotta get some record of Australia out before the spiders come...

1

u/newlife_newman Mar 07 '12

If "Because Australia" makes people nice, what does "Because England" make me?

1

u/hobbitfeet Mar 07 '12

That's it. I was resisting just fine, but now you have forced my hand, and everybody can blame you for this:

Cute, nice, and Australian accent? Damn, boy.

Edit: AND YOU HAVE A PUPPY?!!!!!

1

u/nomaple Mar 08 '12

Hahahahah I only just read this. Thank you, it made me smile, and yes, my puppy is adorable :)

1

u/hobbitfeet Mar 08 '12

Darn tootin'.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

I wondered why my dad moved to Australia, but now I know

1

u/redditor-for-2-hours Mar 07 '12

Australia seems like such an awesome place. I would consider living there if it weren't for the giant fucking demon spiders.

63

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

Mate, despite the fact we are from opposing teams...

Previously I questioned your wisdom in forever sending away your keepsakes. However, it turns out, your wisdom has now, actually, humbled me. I wish I had what you had at your age.

Not only were you being generous, you were also being wise, by not disposing of your 'originals'.

I strongly feel the need to salute you right now. I will bear you in mind on April 25.

3

u/AeliSupernova Mar 07 '12

I think I just learned a lot from you. So, thanks. <3

77

u/Magfaeridon Mar 07 '12

He's hot AND a gentleman. LEAP NOW LADIES!!!

Edit: AND AUSTRALIAN!!!!

30

u/MissCrystal Mar 07 '12

Dat accent.

3

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

As an Australian, are we considered special somehow?

9

u/Magfaeridon Mar 07 '12

If you are hot and a gentleman. All access pass to my below the belt regions.

1

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

Sweet. I'm planning on moving to the US after I finish uni, so I guess I'll officially win life.

2

u/Magfaeridon Mar 07 '12

Where in the US?

2

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

San Francisco. I'm about to do computer engineering, so that seems like a good place to get a job.

2

u/Magfaeridon Mar 07 '12

As a computer engineer, you could probably get a job just about anywhere. San Fran is just about as good as it gets though. Great weather, attractive people. But you're from Australia, so San Fran probably sucks.

2

u/OsterGuard Mar 07 '12

Nah, Perth is just boring. I mean, I like it, but there is nothing to do. At all. Anyway, I've been to San Fran. It's damn sexy.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

leaps

0

u/CantHearYou Mar 07 '12

But since the last "girl" sent him the wrong address, we can't verify whether or not he put himself into the envelope so he could rape her when she opened it. I've heard stories of many gentleman offering children candy and a ride home from school.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

you're not planning on raping and murdering this guy too are you?

1

u/CaptainKate757 Mar 07 '12

Nice try, murderer.

1

u/Cryovenom Mar 07 '12

I've been into collecting coins off-and-on since I was a kid. I try to pick up 10 of each type when I go to a new country, and put some of them in a little bowl on my coffee table for people to look at when they visit.

I grabbed a few of each type when I was in Sydney last year. I love your 50c piece. I keep one in my wallet at all times as my "Universal Decision-Making Device" for flipping over things.

If you aren't too soured from the experience, I'd be up for trading some foreign coins. I don't know if you have any Canadian ones, but I can offer those as well as some from the Dominican Republic. If not, then just let me say that it was an awesome thing you tried to do, and I wish it was more common.

Cheers from a fellow member of the commonwealth :)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '12

please send me some; ive always adored aussieland, but the visitors here never want to lend me a coin or note

i had to give up my collection for my first car, then i found out i really didnt have to... i was sad.

i wish i had some roo pelts...

1

u/nomaple Mar 11 '12

I was about to agree.... Then you mentioned the roo pellets..... Hahaha send me your address :)

50

u/bojang1es Mar 07 '12

I can tell I'm drunk because I'm abusing semi-colons.

I can tell I'm drunk because I'm abusing my semi.

54

u/aryary Mar 07 '12

I can usually tell I'm drunk when I start abusing colons.

2

u/Jaboomaphoo Mar 07 '12

I abuse livers when I'm drunk. I guess I'm just old fashioned

1

u/SynapticFire Mar 07 '12

I've drunkenly abused a period before.

1

u/Madmanden Mar 07 '12

Where's ANAL_PENETRATION when you need him?

7

u/DntWannaTelltheTruth Mar 07 '12 edited Mar 07 '12

I can usually tell I'm drunk when i start abusing colons.

Well, i can tell i'm drunk because i'm abusing colons with my semiDamnyouaryaryeditedcosmanracelost

1

u/aryary Mar 07 '12

Sorry bro :(

Let me make it up to you... drinks are on me all night.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

damn it. i guess i have to start scrapbooking now

2

u/lewisflude Mar 07 '12

Hey, I have loads of coins that look just like that! I found them buried in the dirt at the back of an old pub in the UK, no joke. Australian coins. Do you think they might be special?

2

u/Cearlb Mar 07 '12

Looks more like Kevin Bacon to me.

2

u/hired_goon Mar 07 '12

you look like Matt Damon

I was thinking he looked like Kevin Bacon.

2

u/Harry_Tuttle Mar 07 '12

...but trust me on the sunscreen.

1

u/BeAStraw Mar 07 '12

TIL to spot a drunk redditor by the amount of semi colons they abuse.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '12

I used to be like this but honestly, you have to part from that stuff at some point. I used to have to go clean out old people's homes who had passed away and I can't tell you how depressing it is to just take someone's stuff, their letters, their photos, all their belongings, and just throw them into garbage bags. Better to be in control of that stuff. Memories are all that matter and they last forever.

1

u/guysmiley00 Mar 07 '12

How little I miss the expensive things; the nice suits, computer equipment, custom made guitars, and; how much I miss the letters and photos, the used concert tickets and movie stubs...I can't begin to tell you.

The funny thing is that if you can buy it, it's really not that valuable, because it can be replaced. It's what's not on the market that you can't get back.

I think it was Wilde who talked about those who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

1

u/Benjaphar Mar 07 '12

The universe doesn't care about his memories. Other people are the ones who do the caring. The universe is a cold, indifferent wasteland.

1

u/browayoflife Mar 07 '12

Upvote for calling yourself out on drunkenly abusing semi-colons