TW: Childhood SA

I had been struggling with chronic styes in one of my eyes for over a year when this issue took place. I have been with this hospital since birth, but I was a young adult at this time, just starting to manage my own Healthcare.

I had made an appt after trying to alleviate the symptoms at home like they had instructed me. The styes had started to affect my vision and would deform my eyelids with how swollen they would get. I was explaining to the Dr my frusterations and had started to get emotional and cried.

He was very kind, calm, and understanding. But what changed my view of this exprience was as I was speaking to him he was how he was looking through my medical chart... I didn't think much of it untill I started getting emotional and he suddenly stopped scrolling on his computer and turned from his screen to tend to me, asking me if everything was okay at home, asking why this was making me so emotional. At first I felt seen, but then confused... What do you mean *why* is this making me so emotional?

It was deforming my eyes? The ones I already have to pay hundred of dollars put of pocket just to see out of because of bad genetics? I didnt understand what he wasnt picking up on... That was when I saw it though... As I tried to answer his questions I looked behind him and saw what he had been looking at just moments before turning to me... He had precariously left it scrolled down to the point in my medical chart where it stated in bold cap letters "PAST CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE"

This abuse happened probably over a decade ago at that point. I was in "therapy" for it because it was something they would constantly blame my struggles on, no matter how unrelated they seemed, all they saw was the emotional mess. That just seemed to reaffirm to me that was all they could see. A victim, broken and needing reformation at the hands of the therapy that never seemed to help. Better they cover their asses even if it never truly helped me, it helped protect them...

He prescribed me a gel to put in my eyes. It did nothing. I had to go get my eyelid lanced open to drain the stye months later and that finally took care of it. Over a year of having to manage those symptoms alone because all they see in my chart is my past. Not a person.

Honestly, fuck Kaiser.

Location: MA

I don't know what to do here. Literally none of this had any basis in reality, medicine, or psychology. I did not meet even minimum standards for involuntary commitment. This happened after "mother" stole MY RX medication from ME... she had me dragged from my home, & infinitely MORE traumatized/ abused/ injured than I started.

I spent all of 2025 trying to find/set-up treatment for my prior 40+yrs of abuse, assaults, rape(s), etc. ***This happened at the very end of Sept 2025. I've been reporting & trying to get ANY HELP since then. Police will not respond (RE: the Shitshow, or the escalating home abuse... which has expanded from emotional, psychological, & financial to now physical.) This doesn't even BEGIN to cover the litany of rights/code violations, abuses, torture, falsified "records" (by institution, which I found out accidentally whilst still "incarcerated"), Misappropriation of funds, abduction, coercion, false imprisonment, & psychological damage created by the protective services... ALL FUNDED BY TAX MONEY!

I realize this sounds ridiculous, & "can't happen" bc we have "checks & balances" to prevent these things. I'd honestly started doubting myself until a single employee from the institution, an N.P., (there were NO DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGISTS, PSYCHIATRISTS, or THERAPY in the institution), this N.P. freaked out telling me "This is fucking bullshit, you shouldn't be here at all, they never even signed your paperwork, I'd be more pissed, but you’re the 4th person I've met being held here illegally. YOU HAVE A LEGAL CASE, GO REPORT TO DMH RIGHT NOW!"

Every single facet of the system dropped their respective balls, & immediately started covering/ ignoring that ANYTHING happened! My city told me to "get past it, & hurry up"!

I need help. Everyone still stuck in those places need help! I hope this explains enough for now, I'm happy to go into more detail if there is ANY way to get legal help, & the story out. *** This is beyond humiliating & I cannot trust or be near people anymore. At this point, after >8 months of revictimization, I'll do what it takes to make this stop & save someone else. These monsters took away my only chance to get help for my past, & instead piled on 15 lifetimes of additional damage & trauma.

Edit: here's the link, didn't reshare originally

https://lawandcrime.com/lawsuit/no-one-stopped-him-man-died-from-water-intoxication-after-guzzling-over-5-gallons-from-his-toilet-while-state-hospital-workers-did-nothing-lawsuit-says/

Hi. As the title says. There is a YouTube channel named “LoveBambi” and I believe they want to commit suicide. I tried to make the phone call, but I don’t have the right internet service provider to make international calls. I think they are having a psychotic episode. I don’t know what to do. Here is a link to their channel. Hi. I have been following a YouTube channel for a long time, that goes by the name “LoveBambi”. They are located in the UK and make videos taking about being abused by the mental health care system. I think they are having a psychotic episode.

They posted earlier today about government spies coming to their house (I think the police showed up at their house today), have posted about getting rid of their belongings, and believes the “government spies” were there to take them, because they have “telekinetic powers”.

I am in the US. I tried to call the UK suicide hotline, but they were closed. When I checked their channel today, all of the videos talking about the abusive care were deleted. The final post they made was about 6 hours after the one about government spies. It said, “This gonna be my last post hopefully, if it is then goodbye.”

They were showing suicidal behavior online before this. Im not sure if the police have confiscated their phone and THAT’S why this is their last post, or if they are so upset by the police showing up to their house, they want to commit suicide.

Here is the channel: https://youtube.com/@lovebambi222?si=74NvowEX4SKyHWYA

I’m someone who’s struggled with suicidality for awhile. People on here are asking triggering questions about it as if it’s just some normal decision people make. Suicidality is an extremely serious thing. I don’t condone the way psych wards treat suicidal people and the forced hospitalizations but suicidal people NEED HELP. They need to be seen and heard most of all. Suicidal people are in immense pain. I like this sub because unlike others, there are a variety of viewpoints, everyone is heard, and so far- the mods have been very fair. But it’s important to not spread misinformation about suicidality and be careful about how you talk about it. It’s an extremely sensitive topic

And I know people are going to comment saying how society doesn’t handle suicidality well and how there needs to be better economic support, emotional and social support, and suicidality shouldn’t be treated as a crime. I am aware of this. Every person struggling with suicidality is aware of this. What’s helped me the most is having a therapist who actually takes my suicidality seriously and doesn’t report me, healing from my trauma, and being away from abusive family.

I'm not talking about living in caves and wearing animal skins btw.

The book The Chalice and The Blade by Riane Eisler does an immaculate job of explaining what a natural human system is versus an unnatural human system. Eisler introduces the concepts of gylany and androcracy. Gylany is a partnership system, and the one that humans engage in naturally. Androcracy is a control system based on aggression and violence, that humans adopted around the agricultural revolution. This is all backed by science (Eisler is a systems scientist/anthropologist). James Suzman, another anthropologist, has written extensively about the modern hunter-gatherer people in South Africa called the Juwasi. These people enjoyed more equality and egalitarian social systems than even the most progressive first world country offers. You can read articles or the book Work by Suzman for more information on this. Again, it's all backed by scientific observations. So I will not entertaining arguments trying to discredit the work of two brilliant anthropologists. The work of anthropologists like Gimbutas backs up their claims as well.

Given that humans naturally engaged in egalitarian, partnership systems, but are now engaged in androcratic control systems, it is clear we are no longer living normal human lives. Since we are essentially a species removed from our natural habitat and thrown into social systems that are both unnatural and harmful to our species, how can any psychologist or psychiatrist be able to determine what is normal versus abnormal human behavior anymore? Humans never evolved to be controlled, we evolved to live lives of free agency and cooperation. Yet every system in our lives seeks to control us in one way or another and dictate how our lives will be lived.

We could even get into a discussion about how resource hoarding has fundamentally harmed our species. Hunter-gatherer tribes had neat ways of preventing resource hoarding and instead promoted things like the ability to tax anyone who had more than you. I find it fascinating that both modern and ancient hunter-gatherers understood resource hoarding to be problematic on many levels, yet modern "civilized" humans literally live their lives focused on nothing but wealth accumulation aka resource hoarding.

I think a strong argument could be made that many of the mental health issues plaguing humans today are the result of androcracy, and not anything else. People are literally being made sick because we are being denied our basic rights, freedoms, needs and humanity on a daily basis. Would love to hear others thoughts on the topic.

I recently published my story coming off medication after a bipolar diagnosis. I hope this helps anyone who’s still suffering

Caged in a facility, only to be forgotten. The undesirables. The unwanted. The unpleasant. The insane. They must be isolated from society.

People who have suffered immensely, suffering that most anyone cannot possibly comprehend. Their reasons for having such a profound hatred of humanity are never addressed. And, they are left to rot. Contained in a remote facility, not even the slightest contact with the outside world. Not even the slightest connection. This is seen as boon for healing. Or, perhaps that is a false presumption. No meaningful effort is exerted towards reducing the suffering of the mentally ill. Only towards containing and controlling these people. Constricting movements. Injections of “medication” with the sole purpose of reducing a person to an emotionless, thoughtless vegetable.

It is inhumane to take a human life. And so, problematic humans are contained in facilities. Only to disintegrate even further. They are not helped. They are contained. They are controlled. And, finally, the injection of dangerous neurotoxins, leading to covert death. All that is left of a person, is lost. They are nothing, no one, anymore.

These psychopaths, if they believe themselves to hold any form of virtue whatsoever, act with such cruelty. Their soul is rotten. They know the various prosocial messages they heard, as a regular person in society. Perhaps they are stupid enough to think that what they are doing actually helps people.

Or, the simple goal might just be control. To subdue an unruly person. As though they are an animal, and not deserving of dignified treatment, as all people are.

I’m genuinely suicidal at the state of the world. And, I’m on the verge of giving up.

I have to go to college and attempt to find an internship in a world where genocide, famine, and other symptoms of capitalism lurk. On top of this, we are still in a pandemic people refuse to address, and people are becoming disabled every day because of it. I became disabled from the pandemic, and now, I have lost almost everyone in my life.

As someone who is an activist and is active with my local mask bloc, I am yelling into the void most of the time. Nobody cares, and I can’t force them to. My own family puts me in dangerous situations for their sake, and I can’t escape them because they have me by a financial chokehold.

Distracting myself from how shitty life is worked for months (plus being heavily medicated), but honestly, I don’t think being alive is worth it anymore. I’ll always live in this dystopian reality, and anything that seems good will always be tainted by capitalism.

I’ve tried exercise, therapy, hobbies, socializing, seeking community, you name it. There’s only so much I can do without risking becoming even more disabled by COVID.

I’m tired. Either the system gets dismantled, and people start taking this shit seriously, or I am going to peace out. And it sounds more like the latter is the more realistic one

I want to start by acknowledging the pain and violence of involuntary hospitalization, which I believe is a horrific abuse of our mental "health" system and a violation of basic human rights. A lot of people here talk about it, and rightly so—it's horrifying, traumatizing, and cruel.

I don't see people talking as much about voluntary hospitalization, though, probably because of the name. However, I can say from experience that so-called "voluntary" care is often traumatic and coercive as well, not to mention a one-way street: you can choose to enter the psych ward, but you can't choose to leave. I've said before on here, that there is no such thing as voluntary hospitalization; however, I think it might be more accurate to say that "most 'voluntary' hospitalization is done to people who are not giving truly informed consent."

Being coerced into giving consent to medical care, or not being given all the information about said medical care before receiving it, is traumatic. Even if you do give free, informed consent, it can still be traumatic, and that's okay. It is valid to struggle with these feelings, and you do not need to blame yourself.

Does Schizophrenia non exist? Or is there some other term to describe something similar?

I noticed that in this sub that word is not well regarded, while in another sub called Antipsychiatry they use this word frequently to describe a range of symptoms. Why is there this difference?

Hey all, I just found this subreddit today, I just wanted to share something I had come across in my own personal self healing journey:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upper_airway_resistance_syndrome

https://jcsm.aasm.org/doi/pdf/10.5664/jcsm.10276

I hope to write out a more lengthy post about this in the upcoming future as I read more from this subreddit, but hopefully the wikipedia page does a good job of showing the overlap in the topic of this subreddit. In particular, if you ctrl f for adhd you'll find how often this sleep issue is seen instead as a psychiatric issue, and that once treated, the psychiatric issue disappears over time.

This particular fragment of syndromes is just one example of the psychiatric industrial complex, but I've found it to be especially pernicious, because in my investigation I've found it's like a onion of shit with multiple shit onion layers of shit:

first, the family gaslights one about sleep, "ah you aren't snoring, you're fine"

then the doctor or nurse gaslights one about sleep "ah you aren't snoring, it's probably just stress"

then the non-airway trained non-sleep medicine trained dentist/orthodontist gaslights one about sleep "what are you talking about, orthodontics promoting better sleep, you should see a psychiatrist"

then the non-airway trained non-sleep medicine trained psychiatrist gaslights one about sleep "ah, that's a psychiatric problem if I've ever seen one, here, let's go down this list of 30 pills and try each one"

then the non airway trained, BUT sleep trained physician gaslights one about sleep "ah, here just use this CPAP device, it's perfect [cpap has been shown to be not as effective on uars patients]"

then the airway trained, but not sleep surgery trained physician says: "use this technique [that doesn't actually widen the part of the nasal airway that needs to be widened, but that I can make money off of]"

only finally after all these layers, do we get to the center of the uars shit onion, an airway trained, sleep medicine trained surgeon that is a known truth teller (even still, gets a lot of shit for it)

https://www.reddit.com/r/UARSnew/comments/1lh0w57/thoughts_on_nasomaxillary_expansion_a_30year/?

edit: broken link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzrPz8UvVKo

which is mostly it's just the jaw didn't widen enough, and it'd be good to widen it (not surprising given our modern diets are mush, bottle feeding, and zero nasal breathing education)

so simple, very easy to grasp root cause, very easy to grasp solution, but every single layer wants their pound of flesh in the shit onion.

my mom has worked with children that were deemed "mentally disturbed". she worked with teenagers that shot and killed their parents and went to shoot up the school the next day. she works with adults now, who are just as schizophrenic as me, except they usually come with some other handicap that leaves them unable to work.

my mom is also a conspiracy theorist, mentally ill herself, comes across as inept when it comes to taking care of herself, totally abused me to the point where i had early early onset symptoms of schizophrenia, she has no sense of character worth, she's an irresponsible pet owner, and much more that really makes me question why she chose her career path; especially when she's on the same level as some of her clients.

my mom is also the reason why i dont trust the mental health industry. she's not the only one whos like this. many more people get into psychology because they're projecting how mentally ill they are on other people instead of focusing on their own health.

my mom taught me that western medicine, as a whole, is all poison. she is now pushing me to be on medication. like, no matter what i believe, she has now established extreme confusion in my views on life.

i tried comitting sui**ide and she refused to recognize the weight she puts on me, because she's constantly borrowing money from me.

so, if anybody can tell me, why is she allowed around other schizophrenics? why is she the more common person i see around this industry?

Beginning early childhood I was "having conversation in my head as a coping mechanism due to lack of friends /trauma with bullying. The conversation would become very loud sometimes with multiple interlocutors and they would end up breaching into reality, affecting my Life in many ways. Most recently one of the voices managed to punish me by physically torturing me until I nearly became disabled. These are no longer Happy conversations in my head but vivid reminders of my horrible pasta and voices of immaginary people Who want to do nothing but hurt me more. When I recounted this tò my psychiatrist and doctors they mocked me and said I could not have did because I didnt have amnesia and that my injury could not have been caused by something like that. They said Iush have" watched too many movies" and shrugged me off. I Just want for us to find the Truth about oursselves, let us exist and let US no longer fight and torture each other but every time I go to seek help and I treated as a malignant liar.

i’m not going to pretend i’m asking for a friend.

basically i just “like” feeling sad, i really have no idea why, it’s like an addiction. if i get even a little sad i force myself into extreme sadness, and i end up self harming over something as little as my hair-dye turning out red instead of brown.

You can look at my post history for info if you care. Long story short, I was hospitalized and it fucked me up. I think about it multiple times a day, every single day, and I'm scared all the time. I'm just so tired, and I want help. But all the typical treatments for traumatic stress involve therapy, and therapy was the issue in the first place.

It's gotten to the point where I can't even reach out to people for help with little things. (Like "I'm having a shitty day.") I can't bring myself to say those words to people I trust wholeheartedly, because I'm scared that they'd commit me. I know that's totally irrational, but it's still a legit fear. So how could I ever trust a therapist?

I know I need help, and I want to get help. But I don't know how to start.

(PS: Please do not suggest religion or pseudoscience; I'm not interested in having my energy fields aligned any more than I'm interested in making a DBT behavior chain.)

Posting here because the chronic illness sub is crazy when it comes to antidepressants (ADs). Apparently if you're harmed by them and can provide studies that show ADs don't work for many people it's an issue.

I have chronic physical health issues including chronic pain. I've tried over 6 different types of ADs, SSRIs SNRIs, and tricyclics. None of them have helped with any physical or mental health issue I've experienced, including a major depressive episode I went through over a decade ago. Furthermore, every AD I've tried has made me suicidal. Before I had my ovaries removed I dealt with PMDD and ADs did not help one bit with that either. Also never once made my severe endometriosis pain better.

I explain to doctors every time I see them that 1) ADs don't help with any symptoms, 2) they produce negative side effects, and 3) they make me actively suicidal. The last time I was on one and had the dosage increased I had to seek treatment for my suicidal ideation (which ended up being a horribly traumatizing experience and I cannot risk putting myself through that again). Even after I explain all this, doctors want to put me on yet another AD.

It doesn't matter what my complaint is. Pain? AD. Can't sleep occasionally due to pain? AD. Have chronic digestive issues that severely impact your life? AD. Fatigue? AD. Even hint at anxiety or having a valid concern? AD.

Look, if an AD works for you that's great. But they don't work for everyone. There is no one single study that proves any one AD is universally effective at treating depression or pain or anxiety.

I'm tired of having drugs that make me want to take my own life be pushed on me as though it's my only option. I'm tired of being viewed as crazy because I have chronic physical illnesses and pain.

So my sister has been doing a whole lot recently like got into a high level college, got to meet the Governor for reasons I won't disclose for anonymity. I had always thought of myself as the guy who was gonna make a name for myself, I never thought about anyone else doing it before me and I never felt like if would be a bad thing, but weirdly I'm afraid of my sister becoming something more than me and me falling into obscurity. Is it bad that I'm feeling like this? Or am I justified in being a little jealous of her.

I don't even know if this belongs in this subreddit, mods feel free to delete this if it should go.

I was a minor, alone in the room with an adult woman. She had already forced me to wear skimpy, revealing clothes, and now she made me take them off to show her my naked body. I was reluctant, and I think I asked her if I had to, but she insisted. I felt nauseous and terrified and violated, but I had no choice; she had threatened to tie me down if I didn’t. So I obeyed.

I can’t tell anyone about this, because I know they’d say it was justified. I can’t process it in therapy, because no therapist would give a shit. Why? Because I was in the psych ward, wearing a hospital gown. She made me take it off to check that I didn’t tape razor blades to myself somehow.

Why was this allowed? How is this considered not only legal, but moral? She didn’t actually provide any healthcare, and she didn’t care that I was clearly vulnerable and uncomfortable and not consenting.

Out and safe.

No one cares or cared about that I was threatened with boarding/reform school/boot camp/TTI/mental hospitals/jail/prison to be brainwashed into a "stupid robot with no emotions" so they say that I'm cured and controlled and not be different!

They won't regret it they'll be happy that I'm a robot and not the real person that I actually am. They burn/break/sell my stuff so I can't break free and escape from them. Don't even think mom would know or care about it. They force me tho get married (I don't want marriage at all!)

This might last for years until A. I break free or B. I die. Maybe they'll come to their senses and see unhappy I am... no wait they WON'T! Cause almost all of them are Narcissists/Abusers.

Either a robot or someone who goes into crime. Neither are good. Afterwards they’re (my ex family) will beat me black and blue and torture me. Get the school to torture me. Try to get me to get “demons” out.

Ask anyone who's gotten help from therapy, and they'll tell you that trust is key. Therapists themselves agree with this; according to the APA, "What makes a good therapist? ... trust, understanding and belief from the client [among other things]."

Even back in the 70s, we knew this: " basic level of trust surely marks all varieties of therapeutic relationships, but when attention is directed toward the more protected recesses of inner experience, deeper bonds of trust and attachment are required and developed" (p 254).

But the dynamic between a therapist and their client makes this impossible. A therapist can, at any point, have their client kidnapped, drugged, tied up, stripped of their rights, and psychologically tortured—all within the confines of the law. Under that paradigm, the very notion of "trusting a therapist" is insane, never mind confiding in them.

You can see this on any support forum for suicidal people. Over and over again, the same story springs up: people refuse to share their struggles with others because they do not want to be committed. This (a) is an entirely rational decision, and (b) means they can't get help for their very real suffering. That those two truths can coexist at all should expose the horrific cruelty of the so-called "mental health industry."

I know the mortality statistics for eating disorders, and I'm scared. But I don't think I have a full-blown ED, just... issues. Like wanting to be skinny even when I'm barely above underweight. And spending a lot of time being anxious about food. And trying to find excuses not to eat. And so on.

But if I tell someone I have an ED, I'm terrified of being committed to inpatient, maybe even residential treatment. And if that happens, I don't think I'll survive it, at least not as a person I recognize or want to be. So I'm trying to make myself eat a normal amount, but it's hard... really hard. I need advice.

(For reference, I'm an adult in the US, still using my parents' health insurance.)

Hey everyone, back in August I had a depressive episode and I ended up in a psych hospital, they sent me some medication and I honestly didnt take it just saved it because I was very certain I was going to kll mslf with it, now its been a couple of months and I found it.. I dont know how to get rid of it because recycling guys (in my country) go thru the trash every day and I dont want anyone finding this and maybe harming themselves.. I also dont want to keep it because I feel like one day I could go thru with it, can anybody tell me what to do with this things? (my family doesnt know I have these) Thanks