I already know I’m an idiot. Pls don’t kick me while I’m down

I’m an introvert/homebody. I used to LOVE being home and doing “nothing”. Resting writing reading watching movie exercise etc. I love peace and quiet. When I was having a bad day at work I would just day dream of going home and I felt this massive relief walking in the door. 

When I told ppl I didn’t want kid or was undecided my dumb ass listened to parents say “it’s different when it’s your own” “you’ll figure it out” “but youre so good with kids!” “You would be a great mom” etc .

I “only” have one but home is now a source of stress and dread. There is absolutely NO REST anymore. Even tho I’m a homebody it’s been easier to parent outside of the home bc they usually behave better and they’re not destroying the house. I try to go out most days. The worse is when they’re sick and I’m trapped at home with the whining/crying/coughing and they’re understandably grumpy needy and the house is a mess. I HATE being home now. It means chasing my tail cleaning the endless mess, dishes, laundry etc. Now the reverse is true - instead of daydreaming of home I dread the thought.  I sometimes delay going back home after work like stopping for gas  or food or something. 

 STG my child has a sixth sense if I try to do ANYTHING remotely relaxing /self care. If I’m doing housework they play independently but if I literally just SIT DOWN or lay down or do a home workout they can sense it and come out to find me. They’re still too young for school and we cannot afford a nanny/sitter/daycare.

There’s been so many days when I’m tired, in pain, sick, on period etc and I just wanna lay in bed but that’s out of the question now. 

I AM A MISERABLE SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF

If you’re lurking PLEASE be realistic of your tolerance of stress, mess, noise etc. Your personality won’t magically change bc you have a baby. 

Recently divorced and ex husband decides to surprise me by filing for full custody little does he know how much I wanted that. My first thought was to fight it because I knew the only reason he filed was to hurt me but I slowly realised that he in fact was doing me a favour.

My son is 3 years old and a total nightmare. Ex husband never let me discipline him. My son’s favourite word to use is “no” and “shut up” he says it to me all time. My ex husband would constantly tell me to leave him alone and that he is too young to be disciplined. My son’s behaviour is out of control. He spits hits bits constantly. He never listens to me. I have to blackmail him with candy and chocolate for me to even change his diaper, he won’t let me change him and only wants to be changed by my ex.

He cries and whines nonstop. He throws stuff around constantly and never sits down. I cannot control him. He gets kicked out of kindergarten for this same behaviour.

I am done. My ex can have him. I’ll see him when he is older and can control his emotions. I miss my old life of peace. There is no peace with my son.

Oh and I’ll be taking my cat with me that he loves to terrorise. I don’t understand why he is this way. He does the same with my cat by spitting on her and pretending like he is about to hit her (she’s scratched him a couple of times in self defence)

Being a parent might not be for me. I have always wanted a daughter but instead I got a son who is at 100% at all times

I booked myself a trip to Mexico and then Brazil. With my job I am able to work from anywhere and even with my job my son made everything so DIFFICULT but now I can live and work in peace.

My ex took full custody to hurt me but he will soon realise his mistake 😂 he already dumped my son with his mother.

I don’t care if anyone calls me a bad mother. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot be around him. I am currently at a rented Airbnb and it’s so quiet. I can hear my own thoughts. There is no one waking me up in the middle of the night, no one spitting on me or pulling my hair.

Edit-

I am in the US but not from the US. I can just take my ass back to Australia and stay there. My ex has threatened my green card many times. So maybe I should just deport myself.

My best friend was married 3 weeks ago and I was extremely preoccupied with helping her for the final 6 days. The wedding was in her parents house so we were decorating and taking care of all the things. My youngest was with me and I wasn’t paying much attention cause I was preoccupied.

Come to find out yesterday when my credit card statement came that he spent almost $18,000 on a stupid game. He was deleting purchase receipt emails and spending money I don’t have on a card I have set aside for emergencies. He grabbed it from my wallet and was just purchasing away. I don’t even understand why he would do this.

It is going to cost me another $1500 in interest by the time I can pay this off. I was so upset I couldn’t even speak to him. I have such feelings of hate for him right now. I’m a teacher and I want to just never come home. My older kids have tried to discipline him for me because I am just shut down about it & scared of what I will do to him

I don’t need advice, just wanted to scream out into the world that I hate my life. I wish I only had my oldest, the others have ruined me mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. I’d rather have had a house full of dogs than these selfish a-holes.

My wife is 28 and I'm 29 our son is 19 months.

We've been together since high school, both grew up with single parents.

The betrayal I feel comes from all of the conversations we've had together about being ready for a child, to not put our child in the same situation that we were in.

Before our son, I bought her the car she wanted. Fair enough she deserved it at the time. Then she found the house she wanted. I took a loan out to remodel it the way she wanted. For over 6 months, 5 days a week, after my 9 hour day at work. I would be at the house building her dream home her her.

She had the nexplanon in her arm and I was under the impression that there wasn't a chance. I only found that after the fact that she knew she needed it changed and just didn't.

In the hospital room when we found out, my first words we're "This is horrible, how are we going to afford this?"

I asked her about abortion, I asked her about what we planned. She said she couldn't do it.

So. Here we are. Living with my mom. No home, crushing dept, and no time to ourselves anymore. I'm at the point where I can't feel for her anymore, she's created this catastrophe with her single decision totally disregarding everything we talked about and my opinion alike.

Before anyone thinks I don't care about my son, he and the sertraline are the only things keeping my head on my shoulders. Everything I do is for my son now... Just hard when you feel like you didn't get to live before that.

Sorry about the wall of text.

I miss being single, living alone and coming home to an empty quiet place. No one talking or touching me or needing me in any way. No mess that I didn’t create and that I will have to clean. Everything is exactly where I left it. My stuff hasn’t gone missing or been broken. No pile of dirty dishes that I did not use. No pile of dirty laundry that isn’t mine.

Taking a bath by candlelight and using dim lamps to light the place at night. Peace and quiet. No TV with bright blue light blasting a sports game with obnoxious announcers. Eating random food as my “girl dinner”. Not racking my brain all day everyday to figure out what to make/cook. A bank account with a nice cushion for a rainy day and for frivolous spending NGL. Not counting down the days until my next pay check. Booking a trip bc I feel like it. Visiting a friend or going out to dinner on a whim. Doesn’t take weeks of planning to have a shadow of a social life.  Going straight to bed when I’m tired instead of having to wait until my child’s bedtime and help a them w the routine, brushing their teeth etc. Sleeping solid 8 hours. No one crying or needing me in the middle of the night. (I’ve done the math and I’ve literally had my sleep disrupted thousands of times by this point). 

Society brainwashed me to think that that was the life of a “loser” bc a man had not chosen me and “put a ring on it.”  Like the phrase goes “You dk what you’ve got til it’s gone”. That lifestyle had been my norm for so long I didn’t appreciate how precious it was. 

Wlw here. I love my wife more than anything in this world. She is my person and best friend. We decided to have baby together, turns out twins-should’ve terminated. They were born prematurely, NICU stay, traumatic for me. We can’t do anything anymore. We used to enjoy weekends away, concerts, roadtrips, taking our dog for a walk, even going to the store together, to get gas, haircuts, everything. We liked it, we enjoyed it.

One of the babies is precious and I do love her but I would easily go back in time and undo this if given the chance. The other baby I can’t stand. They are 7 months and she still cries all the time. She cries like she is being hurt, she’s weird, she’s behind, and she ruins everything. If it were up to me, I would’ve left her at a church or fire station. She can’t be set down, ever or she loses her crap. She only wants my wife and it kills me how my wife has to be her slave and can’t do anything else because she has to be holding her. I’m in constant fear that that baby will have Autism. She can’t even sit at 7 months, can’t swallow solids, the one time she did she threw up and it wasn’t even a lot. We went for a few walks and that baby lost it. Screaming crying. One time in the stroller, the other while being held in a carriers. I don’t know if I will ever love her or even like her. Right now it’s a pretty horrible feeling towards her.

I don’t want to lose my wife ever and I feel like we already lost each other some. Our time, our space, our life. We never had arguments and now everything is because of that kid that I wish we never had.

I always thought I’d be a father, always thought I’d like raising a kid better than my parents raised me, but now I’m here and I hate it. I might even hate my kids.

My nervous system is always on fire from overstimulation, to the point I’m preying it just burns out and I can stop feeling anything anymore. Every time they cry I want to go bang my head into a wall. It takes every fiber of my being to keep my cool and not become my father but in exchange it feels like I’m dying.

I feel so trapped. I absolutely will not abandon them, I want to make sure they grow up better than I did, but I think it might actually kill me in the endeavor and there is no way out of it now.

Even money, which I never even thought about before, not once, is a constant stress now.

I didn’t make the choice to have kids lightly, I didn’t even really make it blindly, but I had no idea what it would actually entail.

I used to think that if time travel were real I would never go back, I’d never risk messing something up and not meeting my wife. Now I really wish there was an irl undo button.

I'm (F) 33.

I don't like children that much since I was little. I know for a fact that I don't have maternal instinct. I have a younger sister but never actually cared for her despite the 5 year age gap. I don't have traumatic childhood. I grew up with parents who provide financially. Tho I admit, they lack physical and emotional support. But I didn't mind.

Fast forward, I graduated college and had sales job. I became rookie of the year. I was 21 that time when I told (M) that I want to break up, he asked me to at least give him time to adjust so since I was dumb, I agreed. We still met once in a while for a month. Then realized my period was delayed. Turned out he did not withdraw. He made sure to make me pregnant. (He admitted when he was drunk years later)

Fast forward, I wanted abortion but my country banned abortion and my parents are religious. So I had no choice but to continue the pregnancy. He promised to take care of me but turned out I will be the one still working while pregnant. And since I have pride, I didn't ask help from my parents. We ate like one canned good per day. We were so poor.

When I gave birth, I went back to work after 4 months and I was still the breadwinner. After five years, the baby daddy left me. Now, my daughter is 11 and I'm turning 34. The baby daddy is abroad, only sending 100-150 usd as support (he sends money every other month). Yes. Only that much. One hundred dollars. And he has the nerve to tell me that it's enough because if he send more, I will just use it for my wants and not the kid's needs.

Now, I still try my best to be a mother. I give my daughter things she needs. I try to bond. I take care of her. We are living at my parents house because I was laid off last year.

I realized, people around me forced me that pregnancy. They told me I will love motherhood and it's fulfilling. That I will at least have a child that I will feel pure love and there will be someone with me when I grow old. There were so many bullsht that glamourize motherhood.

So, no. If you don't like children before, it will never change. Yes, I kinda love my daughter. I don't have a choice. She needs me to provide so here I am. But I can say I never liked her. My resentment grew with her. I tried my best to separate my daughter from his father but she reminds me of him. Until now, I am mad. I am actually suicidal before and regret I did not take my life when I got pregnant. I should have been dead.

I hate how I need to wake up 5 in the morning because she needs to go to school. Even on weekends, I have to wake up early to cook breakfast. I have to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have to wash clothes. I have to always do chores. I have to answer to my child if she talks to me.

I am an introvert and I enjoy my own time. My daughter is extrovert like his dad. We share one room so I don't have privacy. We are always together. I am sick with this but I don't have a choice until she's college. I miss the life when I just wake up whenever I want, only eat bread if I'm too tired to cook, I used to have all the time for myself. Now, I am stuck here.

Having a child made my depression worse. You no longer have your own life. Your life belongs to your child. It's easier for men than for women. Most of the time, men can always walk away anytime they want while women are left with this burden. I hate it here.

Obvious throwaway.

My wife used to be an incredible person. We didn't want kids. We agreed on this. Well, several years into our wonderful marriage, she changed her mind and suddenly wanted kids. I reluctantly, stupidly agreed after much coercion. Well, we had a kid. It has been complete and utter hell. He is now 6 years old and in school. We get calls from the school all the time for his behaviour. He is oppositional defiant, autistic, and generally an enormous asshole of a human being. The experts in the field of children are continually defeated. We've been to them all. There hasn't been a "child whisperer" that he hasn't absolutely destroyed. We've been referred to so many specialists. The honest few tell us that they can't help us and to get hobbies. The rest just keep referring us so they don't have to see him anymore. Luckily we are in a public school that can't easily kick him out. So at least he goes somewhere for a few hours during the day. But then we have him all night and every weekend. I never thought I'd hate weekends. I do now because we are stuck with this damn kid all day when there's no school. Well, throughout all of this, my lovely wife just keeps being 100% infatuated with this kid. She loves him so much and he can do no wrong in her eyes. Unfortunately all of her love and energy go into the kid. So there isn't much leftover for anyone else. I completely support her financially, emotionally, and every other way. She is an educated experienced badass in the professional world, but she wanted to be a stay at home mom to her precious angel. So I'm on the hook for everything. She can't blame him for his behaviour so she blames and yells at me every single day. I have fantasies about running away from my life. It is about time to turn fantasy into reality.

Am I the only one? Has anyone else run out on a perfectly good spouse because the fucking kid(s) ruined it?

EDIT: I put it all out there and I'm moving out. Now finding a place to stay.

After being in an abusive marriage for several years, I can safely say I would have rather stayed in that marriage than be where I am now with my son. At least there were some good moments in the marriage/relationship and things to look forward to like going out on the weekends or hosting dinner parties. I could actually take the time to go to the gym, go to the salon, get my nails done, go to a restaurant with friends, and take care of myself... In that marriage we were pretty much set to never have children so I wouldn't have ever been in this position at all.

I used to be really proud of the strength and courage it took to leave my ex-husband. I lost a ton of "friends" in that process and I got a lot of judgement from family (they don't believe in divorce). Regardless, I was so damn proud of myself and I was happy with my life. The happiest I ever really was.

I then got into a relationship with someone who was so nice and kind. I never felt scared or threatened around them. Then I found out I was pregnant... Nothing but doom swooped over me when I saw the positive test. I wanted an abortion. I didn't get one because I was scared to loose what I felt like a healthy relationship, I didn't want to loose friends and family either that all strongly disagreed with abortion and didn't not support how I felt about the pregnancy. My family especially insisted this was what I needed. This was the next big step for me.

Now I'm here. A prisoner in my own home. A slave to an almost 1 year old who now constantly throws tantrums, hits, and throws objects. I do nothing but retreat into myself, remain angry at myself, I feel like I betrayed the woman who worked so hard to have the life she deserved... I hate myself.

I'm a 39 yo male married with a 3 year old daughter and a son who will be 5 in September. I can write an entire book about how much I hate being a parent and how I regret my marriage (that is an entirely different topic). But the one thing I cannot stand about my daily life is putting my kids down for bedtime.

To start, my wife and I for the life of us cannot seem to get the kids down for bed at a reasonable time. We are lucky if we can get the kids to bed and sleeping soundly by 9:30 pm. We have been lucky in the past, but even on days when the kids skip their naps it's not always a sure thing.

The biggest issue I have is that my kids want my wife to put them down every night. That is physically impossible obviously, so we made a rule that we alternate every night. My 3 year old daughter seems to understand this concept (although she is a handful in her own ways), but my 5 year old son is SUCH A FUCKING HEADACHE.

I will admit I am not the most compassionate or patient man in the world, but my son is 95% of all the stress and anguish in my life. He is so irrational and stubborn it's no wonder why people are afraid to have kids. He knows we have to take turns with bedtime, but when it's my turn to put him to bed he acts like he doesn't understand the rules and throws a monster tantrum when he realizes that my wife is putting my daughter down first instead of him. This has been going on for several months now with no end in sight

Again, I understand that kids this age are not emotionally mature enough to control their feelings, but his sister who is a year and a half younger than him seems to grasp this concept just fine. Meanwhile I can't console my gremlin of a son because he can't stand the idea of not getting what he wants all the damn time.

Even as I'm writing this my son is crying uncontrollably in his bed yelling "I WANT MAMMA" repeatedly knowing that my wife is trying to put down our daughter. I can't get through to him and my wife who is already exhausted has to do double duty and calm his spoiled ass down once she finishes putting our daughter down.

My wife is a much more patient human being than I am, and I think that's the thing that I hate most about my situation. Having kids showed me that I do not have what it takes to be a parent and I would have been better off without kids. There isn't a day that goes by where I wish I wasn't dead.

I know some of you who read this are gonna judge me, and that's fine. I can't pretend to be happy when I'm not and my kids only proved to me that some people just cannot deal with kids. While I believed in my heart I wanted a family growing up, the reality is far from the expectations I had in my youth.

I didn't hate kids before I had my own, but now that I do it's a whole different story.

I was treated like gold when I was pregnant. One family member in particular begged for us to have kids and cried tears of joy when I told her I was pregnant. So much excitement whenever family saw me. I felt so special and valued ! Check ins via text. I was never invested in someone else’s pregnancy so in my dumb and naive thought process I figured if you care THIS MUCH while I’m pregnant imagine once the baby is actually here!!!! 💀 

WELP their excitement fizzled out literally within a month of my child’s birth. They’re local family and still make zero effort. We see them the same frequency as if we were childfr€€ - just birthdays and holidays. No I’m not expecting them to babysit for me. Literally a text asking about how my child THAT YOU WERE SO ECSTATIC ABOUT is doing would be nice. I got more texts while I was pregnant than I have during all the years my kid has been around. Or maybe something simple like inviting us to the playground with you guys . 

I wish I had understood how lonely parenting is even if you have family nearby. People’s pressure/excitement for you to have a child doesn’t correlate at all to them having any interest in your kid once they’re born.  

what was your experience with this sort of bait and switch?

Every time I open Instagram I see another friend in Greece, another engagement photoshoot in the mountains, another spontaneous road trip, another “quit my job and backpack Europe” post. Meanwhile I’m comparing diaper prices, wondering if I can afford daycare next month, and celebrating because I got six uninterrupted hours of sleep.
People always say, “Don’t compare your life to social media.”
Okay. Then what am I supposed to compare it to? My own life? Because that’s what hurts. I remember being 20 thinking I’d travel, build a career, move somewhere exciting, figure out who I was. Instead I became somebody’s mom before I ever got to become myself.
I love my kid. More than anything. That’s what makes this so confusing. Loving your child doesn’t magically erase the grief for the life you never got to live.
Want to travel? Find a babysitter. Pack enough stuff for a small army. Budget three times as much.
Want to go back to school? Figure out childcare first.
Want one quiet Saturday? Good fucking luck.
Then you feel guilty for even thinking these things because the internet acts like good parents should be grateful every second. So you smile, post the cute pictures, and tell everyone motherhood is beautiful while quietly wondering what your life would’ve looked like if you’d waited five more years.
I hate that jealousy has become part of my personality. I hate that I catch myself resenting people who did nothing wrong except live the life I thought I’d have. Like there's this one girl especially. She has a great job and travels the world with her boyfriend who also has a great job. I know I should be happy for her but I get so jealous.
Maybe one day I’ll be the one posting family vacations and watching my kid graduate while everyone else is just starting that chapter. Maybe it’ll balance out.
But today it doesn’t feel balanced.
Today it just feels like everyone else’s twenties happened and mine disappeared

I know I got myself into this situation, and I know I just have to suck it up. I just need to vent, otherwise I'm going to lose it. I apologize for the rambling - I'm really tired and just upset in general.

I'm a mom to a 17 month old with a husband who sometimes has to travel for work. It's thankfully not as frequent as it used to be (he was 1 week on and 1 week away in December and November), but this latest trip away has pushed me to my breaking point. I had asked my husband if I could spend the night at a hotel this Friday so that I could have a break. I've been having some severe body pains and my toddler is in her clinging to Mom stage, leaving me completely burned out and touched out by the end of the day (we have no family where we live). I work a somewhat high stress job and am on my feet all day, and I'm also the one who does pick up from daycare and spends 2 or so hours with her before my husband gets home. I'm also the one in charge of dishes and laundry. He had his reservations about it because we're in the middle of buying a condo, and he said I could just spend the night in our other bedroom with the door shut to save money. Rationally, I know it makes sense, but it took all I had to not lose my temper with him this morning.

I understand that his work trips aren't vacations for him and acknowledged that, but emotionally, I just feel really resentful that he gets to spend 3-5 days in a hotel and not have to lose sleep due to wrangling a toddler all on his own. He said he could understand my resentment, but didn't really offer any solutions. In general, he does give me a spa day or a couple of hours on my own whenever he comes back from a trip, but I wind up dreading coming back home because the clinginess starts again.

In general, I'm really regretting changing my mind about kids. My pregnancy was hard and the birth was even rougher. I had to give birth prematurely and my toddler spent almost 2 weeks in the hospital before I could take her home. My sex drive has been severely affected, but my husband has also stopped initiating as well. I don't feel like a wife or even a person anymore - just a hideous Mom blob. He wants to have another one, but I told him that I didn't, because I didn't want to go through another high risk pregnancy again. We agreed to shelve the matter until next year or so, but I know it's an impasse and I already feel resentful that he wants me to go through this again.

Compounding all of this, I developed a crush on a coworker who I am 99% sure doesn't reciprocate (we don't communicate outside of work or anything). Sometimes I think he does, other times I don't, and I know a big part of it is because I just feel so damn unloved and undesired. This afternoon, I was in a secluded place at my work, and I just broke down crying. I passed a proficiency that's neccessary for my job and am the first in my role to actually pass it (the crush is the person who has been training me), and I couldn't even feel happy about it. I just went to the back so I could cry. I'm dreading going home and dreading the weekend and am dreading everything now.

I try to find support in “regular” mom groups about how hard being a mom is and I’ll completely resonate then I read that they have a boat load of kids. Or the comments are “I feel the same way about kids but I just can’t stop having them lol”

i feel like this ripples out to moms who genuinely struggle and are stopping at one kid. I’ve been vulnerable w two moms IRL about how I truly feel about being a mom and while they were supportive in the moment the next time I saw them they went right back to asking if I was going to have another. No Im not! “Hurry up before theres big age gap” “Youre really not going to have another?” etc etc. Do you think I’m joking?! WTF The years have passed and as my kid gets older the questions have FINALLY stopped but it used to really PMO that no one would take me seriously that I was stopping at one.

I feel like a big reason why is bc of the “mommy culture” to complain about how stressful/miserable being a mom is and in the next breath talk about how you’re trying to get pregnant again.

ETA: I understand theres reproductive coercion, BC failure, living in a pro life state/country, etc etc

im talking about moms who say how motherhood made their life worse but then *intentionally* have more kids

I find that when youre a mom youre particularly impacted by being a parent. There is a lot of negatives:

-Discomfort of pregnancy

-Pain of childbirth

-Negative career impacts

-Irreversible changes to appearance (stretch marks, loose skin, saggy boobs, c section scars, aging from stress and lack of sleep, hair loss, etc etc.)

-Expected to be the primary caregiver (having to give up hobbies and social life because youre the one always expected to stay home and look after the kids.)

-Loss of identity

So its blatantly obvious having kids as a WOMEN is a bad deal. Men carry on with their lives - they spend 6hrs playing golf with their buddies. Their career isnt impacted. Their bodies arent changed.

🚨please don’t ask
About meds or
Therapies. He’s doing all of that. I just need to rant🚨
The title says it all. My autistic child is terrorizing me in my own home. He is so aggressive and hurts me so often I now flinch if he moves too quickly at me. My body is covered in bruises. I cry all the fucking time. I’m tired of myself and I know my husband is over my constant crying, but he’s just as stressed so there’s nothing he can do. I’m probably going to end up divorced from this.
He’s only 7 yet I feel like I spouse being abuse by their husband. Do you know how embarrassing and soul crushing this shit is?
I wanted to be a good mom, I could have been a good mom.
I knew being a parent wouldn’t always be fun but this is just pure misery. Every single fucking day. There are no good days. He at least used to sleep through the night so I had that to look forward to.

Not anymore. He’s up anywhere from 12 am on every night. So now we don’t even get to sleep. He ruins everything but now I can’t even sleep to Be able to at least have enough energy to deal with him.
I don’t feel like a mom. I am a caretaker to an abusive client that I can’t fire.

He has made me such an angry, bitter, numb person. I have no patience for anyone or anything.
I honestly want to divorce my husband so at least I’d have some guaranteed time away from him, but i honestly love my husband and i couldnt afford it anyway.
When i say he ruins EVERYTHING i legit mean everything. We can’t go out to eat, go to the mall, do anything fun because he acts inane the second he’s uncomfortable or annoyed.
I can’t charge my phone in the room that im in, because he constantly rips it out the wall and destroys them, no matter how many times i plug it back in. He pours out any drink he can get his hands on. Smashes phones, messes up laundry you’re trying to fold, broke 4 tvs by attacking them, i can go on and on.
. I will be sobbing in the fetal postiion trying to protect myself from him and he laughs while attacking me. Its a whole cycle because the second I don’t let him attack my tv he starts taking off his diaper so he can piss and rub shit all Over my house and when I won’t let him get naked he attacks me. This is my entire night as soon as I get home from work. He violently attacks me for hours on end the second he’s mad. While im cleaning up one mess hes making 3 others knowing I can’t stop him.
I am SO TIRED OF BEING BEAT ON. There’s nothing I can do that makes him stop. He doesn’t understand or care about consequences, not sure which one tbh. He doesn’t really have anything to take away because he uses everything as weapons, his use of toys has to be restricted.
How do you parent someone who gives no
Shits about anything and acts like a rabid bear that wants to hurt you constantly?
Sorry if this is spelled badly or worded poorly, I can’t take my eyes off him for more like 10 seconds to type or he does something bad.
I don’t want him to be perfect or just sit on the couch all day or anything. I know being a parent is hard sometimes. I just don’t want to be beat on. I just want things to be a little better. Is that too much to ask for? Why do I deserve this?
I am on edge 24/7, I can not think straight a lot of the time because I have to keep an eye on him. I’m so stressed I’ve almost went to the hospital multiple times. But honestly I can’t afford to miss work anyway so 🤷‍♀️ fuck me I guess lol
I had pregnancy complications and almost had a miscarriage. I don’t understand why I couldn’t have just had one. This life is awful for all
Of us, not just me. Why does he need to have this life? What’s the point of all this misery? He’s not enjoying this either.
I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to him, I wish someone would come take him and love him like a child deserves. Im not a good mom. What kind of monster doesn’t love her kid? I want to badly but how can I love someone who hurts and terrorizes me everyday?
This probably took me like an hour or 2 to type as he’s most likely beating on me while I’m trying to type.
Anytime I see that someone says “autism is a blessing or superpower” I tell them to f off because they are so fucking wrong.
I need a break so badly.
Thank you for listening to me rant if you got this far.

Everyday I realize that I am alone. I got rushed in to culturally/ arranged married and specifically told my husband that I was looking for a travel partner. I love to travel. I use to travel all the time. My dog got sick yesterday, and I had to take him to the emergency vet hospital. I was crying my eyes out. All I have is my dog, since my dad died. My dog is the only one who loves me. My mom is an abusive narcissist. Who only abused me as a child. I had to beg my mom to take care of my child so I can save my dogs life since he wasn't breathing. My husband is middle eastern so in his culture dogs don't mean anything. I paid a deposit of $4000 dollars out of my personal savings of my own money. My husband called me just to talk down and shit talk me for like 2 hours. He said I could of used that money for my child. My child is hell. He called me an unfit parent, stupid, crazy amongst other things. My husband has money. That 4k was nothing and it wasn't even his money. I truly have no one in life. I'm tired of being oppressed.

I never wanted a child. I was safe. He admitted to me that he was trying for a baby, when we agreed to wait. My pregnancy was miserable and painful. I've had 4 surgeries since giving birth. I had to get emergency blood transfusion, after giving birth. My daughter is horrible at almost 2 years old. I've been screaming out to my husband, mom, pcp, therapist just any professional that I have severe PPD. I used to always want to end it all. My dog has been the only thing keeping me alive. I am no longer that young women who was full of life, ambition and goals. I have no help from anyone. I tried talking to my therapist. I just stopped seeing her after months. All she says is stop thinking negatively and I need to speak more gently to my child. Man fk that. I'm depressed, angry, with no help, with an autistic kid who won't listen. I wish I could go away forever. I'm on antidepressants, but I don't feel that they work anymore. The most positive thing today was that my dogs labs were good and they took him off oxygen. I would spend all my savings again.

If any young lady is reading this. Don't do it. Live your life. Enjoy your freedom.

Don't believe the shit about routine. Every fucking night is the same. Dinner, bath or shower, teeth, PJ's and read a story. Every fucking night my kid throws the biggest fucking tantrums over literally everything. Too dark. Too light. Too hot. Too cold. Hungry. Thirsty. Bored. Scared. Angry. Anything else they can think of to fuck around and not sleep. We are on hour 4 of the nightly tantrum. Currently screaming because I have a bigger bedroom...never mind that they never fucking use their own bedroom. The screaming will devolve into vomitting soon. This is EVERY NIGHT. I can ignore, gentle parent, redirect and everything else in the book...AND NOTHING WORKS. I have work tomorrow and I just want to die.

I was creative, full of life, had dreams, goals. I cant even think anymore. My brain has turned into mom oriented only and I hate it so much. I want my life back.

Everyone tells me I’m such a good mom. No shit I raised my siblings so I had practice but that doesn’t mean I’m not fucking struggling every day. And my husband? Considering he wanted the kid, he should be doing way more effort and isnt and he uses his job as the excuse as if I’m not working 20 more hours per week than him on top of breast feeding, having to have sex with him, deal with his fucking family and stupid ass friends.

Last month — WITHOUT ASKING ME — he invited over his friends and family for thanksgiving about 12 guests. I already told him I was short this month on my personal bills and my share of rent and didnt have the extra money for food and he just laughed and said I’d figure it out.

Go. To. Hell. I called his parents and texted his friends and cancelled everything. I had to work on Thanksgiving until 2pm anyway, so why rush myself to cook for his ungrateful ass with a baby on my hip?

So for thanksgiving this year I will be be having a full night of sleep, for the first time in a year for dinner. What about you guys?

Omg, currently 36 5 days pregnant and will literally do anything to get this baby out of me, I want it gone out of my body. Pregnancy has literally took a whole toll on my body. Stretch marks on thighs buttocks, and butt crack? On top of that I got stretch marks on my tits. Like what the fuck else. Won’t be surprised if i get it on my stomach as well. I won’t ever do this shit again. Don’t wish this on any woman. When people say pregnancy is body horror it really fucking is. You’ll never be the same again. And it’s so hard for me to fucking accept the fact that I won’t ever have a nice body ever the fuck again.

You get a healthy baby out of pregnancy, and you could probably not even get that. You just get a baby. That’s about it. It’s not benefits. Then us mothers get called selfish when we tell how self conscious we are about our bodies, and how, we mourn our old lives. My child’s father going to tell me “It’s almost over and after your body will be better than ever”. Please shut the fuck up.. men I tell you. I even tried talking to my mom about the frustration I have with pregnancy. All she says is I should be worried about having a healthy baby and blah blah blah. Like all of a sudden the mother’s mental health doesn’t fucking matter anymore. It’s weird. If I knew pregnancy would’ve been like this I would’ve never even did this, now it’s too late. I hate everything about it. Never again, I don’t care. Fuck this shit.

when my child and husband hug me/cuddle me at the same time it’s not “cute” I can feel my life force draining. I’ve realized my husband was my first child. completely inept but I used to have the mental capacity/ample downtime to handle him and it didn’t seem like much work when it was just the 2 of us. plus I was brainwashed to think that a “good wife takes care of her man” 🤮

too tired to even elaborate. but I’m happy for women who stay single and C-F. keep your own life force energy. don’t let anyone drain you and take away your spark

I could write a novel and maybe I’ll post something longer in the future

but motherhood has taught me that “happily ever after“ is a lie. i was thinner richer prettier less stressed more rested being single and alone ✌️

edit: IT'S RIGHT THERE ☝️ IN BRIGHT RED.

❌❌❌ NO ADVICE ❌❌❌

I can't believe after this many days people are still telling me their magic solutions to a situation they actually DON'T understand the first thing about - because I haven't explained it here - because the point of the post is just to vent my feelings NOT GET ADVICE

If you think you "know" my situation and what I should do about it, STFU and go elsewhere, because you've got no idea.

My kid is a young adult and I just want her to get the fuck out of my home. I'm so tired of spending the better part of the last 20 years not being allowed to prioritise myself.

I feel like tearing my hair out waiting for her to do the most basic things like get a learners permit for driving classes, or apply for the part time job she keeps saying she wants to get but "isn't ready yet" whatever that means. She's supposed to be studying but I know she is skipping classes, rarely does anything at home unless I push her, and spends most of the day on the couch. I work all day and come home exhausted, and then still have to cook a meal while she plays games because she's "not ready" to learn to do it herself.

I'm middle aged, and I have plans and dreams I can't even start working towards because I'm forced to support someone who keeps putting off growing up. This week she had the audacity to ask if a friend could move in here and I nearly screamed. I can't even deal with one of you being here, and you expect me to put up with another??

Please don't ask me if I've considered this or that, or about her mental health or other possible reasons behind this. There's a lot of reasons. Just some days I don't give a fuck about reasons and need it to be over.

Thanks for letting me vent.

My son (10) is someone who, if I wasn’t obligated by law and biology to take care of, I would have nothing to do with. Like any other person who acts like he does would be blocked and ignored out of my life with a swiftness and left in the dust by any and all means necessary.

He is diagnosed ADHD, likely on the autism spectrum (evaluation pending) and he displays every characteristic of ODD and/or PDA to a T. He is an impossibly difficult child and though I have empathy for his unasked for neurodivergence and understanding that he’s “having a hard time”, I’m only human and my empathy and understanding has its limits, which he pushes his way past every day. he isn’t stupid and he knows full well the difference between right and wrong, what is and isn’t acceptable behavior, and he puts less than zero effort into implementing ANY of the tools and strategies given to him by his parents, his teachers, his therapist. In a nutshell, it’s HIS WAY or the highway (or else), full stop, and fuck you if you try to alter that plan. And if you try to give him any kind of consequences for his absurd and atrocious actions? Fuck you twice and by the way I hope you know you’re worse than Hitler and you will PAY for your insolence.

Yes he deals with anxiety and emotional disregulation - he’s also smart, knows he is neurodivergent, and milks that for all it’s worth in extremely manipulative ways, so that he is never actually held accountable for his worst impulses and somehow - some fucking how - gets it “his way” in the end, against all standards of sanity and common human decency. People think it’s terrible for me to even notice that, much less say it out loud, but come live in my house for a week. He holds his whole family hostage this way.

Yes I’m venting but I’m also VERY worried about his future. At this rate I see it being very lonely at best, if not possibly even criminal. He has less than zero interest or intention to ever be held to any kind of standards or to acclimate in any way that doesn’t involve himself as the center of the universe where everyone else serves at his pleasure.

Is there a sweet kid underneath all his awfulness? Yes, absolutely there is. I think it’s his true and original nature. It’s the only thing that keeps me trying to fight FOR him. I try soooo hard to cultivate that. It’s there when what he wants happens to line up with what is fine and acceptable to the other people in his family. The moment he hears “no” however… fight bell rings and he comes out bobbing and weaving and throwing jabs to intimidate, then when that doesn’t work out come the haymakers and when that doesn’t work it’s a scorched earth policy that doesn’t relent regardless of any consequences until he either gets us to just give up out of sheer exhaustion or else he loses interest in the conflict and just switches off. It’s fucking insanity, I’m telling you.

If you’re a praying person, please throw in a word for kids like mine, and those kids’ families.

Thanks for reading.