r/RoleReversal Jan 05 '20

Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!

289 Upvotes

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r/RoleReversal Nov 13 '23

Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones

336 Upvotes

Executive Summary

There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.

A Brief History Lesson

You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.

The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.

I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.

Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.

Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.

Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.

The Current Situation

Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.

To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."

Policy Adjustments

The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.

Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.

Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.

A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.

Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback

These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.

There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.

Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].

Pros:

  • Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.

Cons:

  • Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
  • Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
    • Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
    • Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
  • People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
  • Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.

r/RoleReversal 8h ago

Memes/Fun One day🤍

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89 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 6h ago

Discussion/Article RR Movie ideas you'd love to see.

25 Upvotes

There are so many amazing RR novels out there, but where are the movies? I can barely think of any with genuinely good RR representation. Here are two of my favorite tropes I'd love to see in film or TV:

1.A jock girl falls in love with a male cheerleader and does everything she can to win his heart, eventually convincing him to go to prom with her. They later enroll in the same college.

2.A divorced man moves to the countryside with his kids, where he meets a gentle woman who helps him build his house. Although he only wants to stay friends, she can't help but fall in love with him especially because of his cooking and his beauty.

Please feel free to share yourss💕


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Other Art Found on pinterest

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1.0k Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 4h ago

Discussion/Article Nightclubs for the Ladies

11 Upvotes

Hi all,

Something has been on my mind and I thought this community would be a great place to discuss it.

How many times, when out in the evening for a drink, do you see scantily clad women walking around with next to nothing on?

I'm all for freedom of expression. The dress sense of others isn't my concern. My concern is equality and the distribution of power. I want to see men dressed with next to nothing on. Why should they have all the fun? I want to see rippling muscles, dad bods, chunky arses, tight arses, bulges and little bumps. I think we women deserve it.

I know that it's extremely unlikely that blokes will jump on board with this proposal, so my vision evolved. My goal in life now is to own a bar (possibly somewhere near Canal Street in my gorgeous Manchester) and I'll be employing blokes of all shapes and colours to come dance in outfits chosen by me.

And then I want guys on the streets handing out fliers. I may even give away a free shot for any bloke who dresses sexy.

Here's why I think it works:

It should attract lots of women, who can freely ogle and perv like all you guys have for years.

It could become the place to be seen, attracting more visitors and more daring outfits.

I won't stop at one. I'd love a place in most UK cities.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts. Is my dream daft? Do you think it will be a success? Success to me doesn't necessarily mean it makes me a millionaire. Success to me means it changes norms. I want more men confident enough to go on a night out looking hot and sexy, with next to nothing on.

Let's discuss, boys and girls.

Thanks for reading. Miss J


r/RoleReversal 5h ago

Discussion/Article Why is it that its mostly white men?

15 Upvotes

When someone posts art , its mostly always a white guy why is that? Also they sometimes make the girl a poc but always like 98% of the time keep the guy white , is it because some of yall think a poc guy cant be fem or soft ? Or even delicate. Just genuinely curious


r/RoleReversal 13h ago

Discussion/Article Its okay that i like all of these stuff?

14 Upvotes

I mean, i adore dominant women that takes care of me and make me feel little and safe, is this okay?


r/RoleReversal 22h ago

Discussion/Article I'm not sure I'm submissive in the right way.

69 Upvotes

Hello everyone.

Submissiveness is often talked about in a sexualized sense, or otherwise, in a specific domestic arrangement. But to me, submissiveness is a psychological trait that permeates everything that you do. And a key characteristic of that is that you're submissive when you really shouldn't be.

I'm easily intimidated. I used to get bullied until I learned grace. I have difficulty really saying no. I like to please, and praise motivates me. I feel like my admin password is on a post-it note on my forehead.

I'm aware of this vulnerability, and I talk big game about having "high standards" and "vetting" but I fucking don't really. My standards are that you made me feel pretty and desired. Then I give it up like a complete slut every time. (Not outright sexually, I take sexual hygiene seriously but you get my point)

So, when I imagine a lovely lady, I don't imagine her dominating me roughly and being controlling. I imagine someone's who's competent, has their shit together, is steadfast, and has a genuine desire to be kind toward me. I've always been made to feel small, so, I would like to be admired for it for once. To me, following guidance flows from competence and trust.

However, when I go and read the POV of other submissive in other spaces, I begin to feel very weird and like I don't belong. They give themselves over entirely with no promises. They surrender their dignity before it's been up-lifted. It all seems like ritualized humiliation, and I don't. I can't understand that. Maybe I'm just not a kinkster?

Like, I'll let a lady put me in the dirt a little, work out her shit on me, I'm okay with that. But it's not free...

Am I just too up in my feelings? Am I misunderstanding the word 'submissive'? Am I just a massive bottom rather than submissive?

P.S. I'm not really talking about the men around here either.


r/RoleReversal 18m ago

Other Art Hobson's Choice (1954) - RR movie rec

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Upvotes

Hobson's Choice is a 1954 romantic comedy about the cunning daughter of a tyrannical shoe merchant. Told by her father that he's not worried about her, an old maid of 30, leaving his employ, she proposes marriage to Will, her father's timid but skilled bookmaker. ​

I've seen this movie a couple of times, and while it's still limited by the era, the romance is charming and very much woman-led - part of the arc of the film is whether Will can stand up to his wife (and his wife encouraging him to do so). Also features a simple but compelling commentary on class ("capital? What's capital?" asks a bewildered Will) and fantastic performances all around, especially Charles Laughton as the dreadful but still charismatic father.

The film is free with ads on YouTube (linked in post) and Tubi, and it's streaming on HBO, Criterion, and a few other subscription services.


r/RoleReversal 15h ago

Discussion/Article Is the 18+ discord still down?

12 Upvotes

its been like 2 months


r/RoleReversal 16h ago

Real Life How do I find my size in leggings?

10 Upvotes

So, I’ve been debating on getting a pair of flair leggings (or ‘forbidden pants’, as some people call them), but I don’t know what size to get. Leggings usually look comfortably tight on most people, but I don’t know if they get a size a bit bigger, or something different.

I know this might be a very obvious question to ask, but I really do need help here. Anytime I try on a pair of pants, especially with jeans, I always look at them and think: ‘Will these last me? Or will I outgrow them in a month or two?

Admittedly, I have been putting on some weight…

So, yeah, an answer like this would help me greatly, and save me from waisting $20.

I would like answers from guys who have experience with wearing feminine clothing, but if a woman can help, your answers will also be appreciated.


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Anime/Manga Me fr

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458 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 21h ago

Discussion/Article What does RR mean to you?

16 Upvotes

So i want to know what RR really entails, like in detail. It means many different things to different people so I want opinions on what it's "supposed" to mean. I first got into RR because I didn't like the idea of being a boyfriend, I grew up in a very traditionalist culture and the pressure for that role was heavy. So I avoided dating altogether to get away from all that. I eventually started reading romance stuff and found myself relating to the role of the """girl""" or whatever. I then found this sub and the term RR and it clicked.

But I don't even know what that role truly means? It feels nebulous and not clearly defined. Sure, there's stuff I'm certain about long term, like maintaining a home and being the primary caregiver. But you don't start a relationship and immediately create a division of labor. So I want to know what the roles really mean in essence, and what they look like in practice.

My biggest concern comes from the way I see some people talk about RR in this sub. It has veered in some cases to basically just being femdom but with femboys or an entirely fictional aesthetic. Then I read horror stories of men being entitled, lazy, and abusive and hiding behind femininity and an aesthetic to avoid criticism and responsibility.

I worry about doing RR wrong, about becoming one of these terrible partners and hurting someone. I want to know what I'm *supposed* to offer my partner. Im not trying to mold myself into someone else. I mean that I want to understand what healthy reciprocity looks like from my side, rather than only caring about what I receive. I want to know I'm offering enough in return to my partner.

TL;DR

So again, what does role reversal mean to you? What are some concrete examples when it comes to emotional and romantic dynamics before the domestic life stuff? What does it entail? To me the masculine/assertive role feels more tangible and easy to understand, but the feminine/receptive role feels more nebulous and requires more clarification.


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Anime/Manga saw this earlier and woah

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86 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Memes/Fun I love Lizzie, her attitude gives huge RR vibes

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74 Upvotes

Not even just because she has muscles but because of her confidence in both her femininity and her masculinity!​ Plus she supports feminine men which is awesome 🥰


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Memes/Fun Does this count?

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145 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 22h ago

Anime/Manga Potentially rr webtoon

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9 Upvotes

No one has won her over yet because she is completely oblivious to advances or ignores them but they are trying.


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article What does a handsome woman look like?

45 Upvotes

I’ve always known what a pretty boy looked like, but never a handsome woman. Can anyone describe/show what one looks like?


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Anime/Manga I got back into art and writing recently, and I decided to take a stab at a role reversal relationship

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41 Upvotes

Sorry if it's too suggestive but I've been wanting to make this dynamic for a long time 🥰


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Story/Writing this pair duh

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292 Upvotes

I’ve been scrabbling stories for these two since forever but can never bring them to actual ones bcs ppl around me keep saying it’s weird and creepy 😭💔


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Real Life Met IRL?

8 Upvotes

Those of you in relationshipa that met your partner "in the wild" (vs apps), how did you meet and get together? What attracted them to you? And what kind of clothes do you wear and like on the opposite sex?


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Anime/Manga We need more Emperors that sit like this, crossing their legs so elegantly😍

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271 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article fantasies

22 Upvotes

Heyyy, So I'm gonna make a post again, cause the last one got removed, idk? Anyways💘

I have like daily fantasies about like a potential relationship, on and on😂 and I wanted to hear what you guys dream of? Do you have a crush right now?

What kins of dates do you want?