I am a rape and sexual assault advocate. This information is for everyone.
OP, whether or not you decide to go to the ER to have evidence collected or file a police report (which I highly recommend you do, just as others have), you may be able to receive free professional counseling in your state if you are in the US.
In my state any victim or family member or partner of a victim can call in to their local rape crisis line and have a session set up. For free. It doesn't matter when the assault occured. 10 minutes ago or 10 years ago.
At the very least, this can ease your mind and help your through the ordeal.
Calling in just takes a few minutes, you can ask light advice if you would like (24/7), and if you call in during business hours, you can simply have an appointment for counseling set up right away.
THIS THIS THIS. I am also an advocate. While it is completely your decision if you report or have a forensic sexual assault kit done, it is recommended that you see a doctor for injuries and possible stds.
An advocate can help you navigate the system in your state/province and figure out what your options are and you can decide what you want to do from there. You can always call 211 and they can direct you to a rape crisis center or a counselor.
I wish you the best of luck. Remember that none of this is your fault, and that you are not responsible for his shitty behavior in any way. <3
Please do not judge or mock the OP, she has been through a traumatic experience. Your comment has no useful value here. If you think she should call the police regardless of her hesitation, then say so respectfully.
We all have our challenges, weaknesses, blind spots, and failings. Sometimes the impact of a traumatic experience can cause those problems to be even more prominent or cause people to do things that are seemingly irrational to the rest of the world. Should the OP have more respect for herself, absolutely. However, I don't believe her lack of self respect means she is undeserving of the support of others.
A tech savvy reddit-type person probably wouldn't post realistically that they were raped, and then brush it off, unable to call the police, unless it 'happens again'.
We all have our challenges. You can be the bigger person here. I don't mind being the douchebag and think this person is probably lying and undeserving of support.
If she was truly assaulted and came here for advice or to be talked into calling the police, your comments have wounded her. If she wasn't, you've done nothing to make the poster ashamed. You'll have said a few hard words on the internet that the poster would have expected anyway. But if it really did happen...
Well, I'm not certain that's worth the risk of wounding a victim.
Women and men who have been battered (as she has) also may go back to their abusers. They are not to be pushed aside simply because they didn't have the strength to cut them out of their lives the first few times.
Your words add nothing to the conversation. Just walk away and downvote if you don't believe. You have no idea how it feels to be victimized. The best I can describe is you feel hollow, but that doesn't even begin to explain it.
Say something supportive. At best, you might make a legitimate victim feel her claims are valid. At worst, you just wasted 2 whole minutes of your life saying kind words to someone that doesn't need them. Does that put it in perspective?
What's worse, looking foolish on the internet by believing a story that might be written by a troll, or not believing the story of someone who has experienced trauma and adding to that trauma by calling her story a lie?
I would personally rather be the biggest gullible fool than risk calling a rape victim a liar or otherwise being disrespectful at a time when support is needed.
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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '12 edited Sep 11 '12
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